Too old at 43?

Lord_Gooseduck · 2025-06-08T21:32:56+00:00

Do it bro. 43 isn't old

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-06-08T22:24:36+00:00

The problem is not your age, the problem is not having the full conviction that your age is ok, and acting ashamed or apologetic about it, specially when a woman tests you on it.

Being confident is not about believing you are good enough because you believe you are perfect and flawless.

Being confident is about believing you are good enough simply because you accept yourself as you are even if you are flawed.

Women will test you on your age yes. But how you respond on the age objection is a choice between two options.

Opton A: You act apologetic, defensive, angry, approval-seeking as you start doubting yoruself.

Option B: You own your age, you double down on it, you take it with humor, as you never doubt yoruself even for one scond.

She says: "Aren't you a bit too old to be hitting on girls?"

You say: "Yeah im so old i could be president of the united states?"

or

Her: You are kinda old for me

You: "Yeah i might die tomorrow from cardiac arrest, so I thought fuck it, got nothing to lose"

The idea is to show that you don't ever doubt yourself, to show that you are not gonna try to convince her that age doesn't matter, and that exxagerate your age as more than it is to ridicule her objection elegantly and humuorously to ease the tension.

Never try to convince her that age is not as important and that she should overlook it or give you a chance.

Short_Display_3457 · 2025-06-08T22:40:48+00:00

My dad had me when he was in his mid 50s

electromattic · 2025-06-09T01:13:21+00:00

Dude I am also 43 and a post-divorce dad.

Honestly I have found this sub super useful in figuring out some basics of how to get back in to dating, cultivate attraction, what frame is and generally getting a better understanding of the psychology of attraction.

After 10 years of being a married guy and dad (still am dad of course) - I felt kind of lost in terms of how to even talk to women again. This sub has been super helpful.

FlowSurferFromMars · 2025-06-08T21:44:53+00:00

43 here. Take it easy and focus on finding something that's social and give the girls fun, lot's of fun. It's good to have awareness of age, in a good way. Girls I see are in between 25 - 32 bracket and it's good fun.

StrikingImportance39 · 2025-06-08T21:32:51+00:00

Nah. It’s fine.

But you will have some haters.

Substantial-Bad-4508 · 2025-06-09T01:36:40+00:00

You're asking a question that seeks reassurance. Real assurance comes from within you.

You are what you think. You think you're old and creepy for expressing your sexuality, then that's what you are.

RealisticDiscipline7 · 2025-06-09T02:16:18+00:00

I dont think cold approaching at 43 is creepy, but i do think covertly filming it kinda is. Unless that’s not what you meant by “videos”

Due_Newspaper4185 · 2025-06-09T07:10:22+00:00

41 here. Eat healthy, stay fit, be light and fun and u will look younger.

SparkedIntoLife · 2025-06-09T12:59:54+00:00

Same boat. Looking forward to hearing your experiences. All the best man.

picker_101 · 2025-06-09T15:55:16+00:00

The impression I got from the post is that you want to game younger women. Otherwise you wouldn't feel that it would be "creepy" about gaming women in your age range.

Nothing wrong with wanting younger women though. I'm in my 40s and I work with mostly women in their 20s. Still have great chemistry in fact I know I can get with a few of them as they show tons of IOIs. I just don't date women from work. I also had successes with younger women when I was out and about.

One thing I'd say if you're gonna after younger women, avoid online dating. One, their algorithm often prevent you to get matched with younger women. Two, unless in person (where chemistry usually comes first) your age is the first thing they see when they come across your profile.

Caqumba · 2025-06-09T00:44:42+00:00

Too old for what exactly? There's nothing wrong with putting yourself out there at any age, but your expectations have to be reasonable. Are you too old for 20 year olds? Yeah, probably, unless you're pursuing something exclusively sexual, then some will be into that. You're definitely not too old for most women in their 30s or older, so there's no problem, really.

Jazzlike_Milk4686 · 2025-06-09T02:39:59+00:00

You can have 80 and still have game

I_Luv_Procastinating · 2025-06-09T02:55:17+00:00

Everyone else has great answers. Here's something to think about. What's the alternative? Go for someone less attractive and settle?probably not

Chicagoj1563 · 2025-06-10T11:58:41+00:00

I’m older than you and I can tell you it isn’t too late.

One thing that stands out is your beliefs of being too old or being creepy. Both signal that you care what other people think. You have to remember, this is a game of confidence and being able to handle social pressure.

You want to switch from worrying about what people think to having fun with the process. Develop a mindset that throwing yourself into the fire and learning to handle the social pressure is game.

Focus on building the skill and having fun doing it, instead of worrying about what people think. You cant control negative social pressure. You can control how you respond to it. It’s all a fun game. Embrace the chaos, turn it into a game.

It’s not easy, but is very possible at any age.

Illustrious-Crew2551 · 2025-06-14T19:17:56+00:00

A lot of bars in my city have women in your age range. You may be too old for the nightclub but you can still date well into your 50s and beyond, there are plenty of sites that organize meetups for those age groups. It's actually harder in a man's 20s because there is more competition, women have more options and there are not many meetups outside of college, so a man who lacks social circles is going to struggle.

WittyJoy · 2025-06-15T14:22:23+00:00

Here are some ideas re: night game spots with women in their late 20's to 40's...

Classic rock bars. Most cities have these, and it'll skew older.

Tourist bars. If you're in a city that hosts conferences, events, etc... find out which bars are recommended by the conferences, doormen, hotel staff, etc. Not only do they skew older, but filled with people from out of town, and with hotel rooms nearby. The best nights here will be Thursdays though, not weekends.

Bottomless brunch. Find a popular bottomless brunch spot in your city, they all have them. It's like night game during the day. Great ratio, great opportunity to socialize. Also skews older.

yoyogi_voidwalker · 2025-06-09T01:17:23+00:00

Most would agree men reach prime at 35. So why would 43 be too old. You might not get with as many younger woman but who knows, many younger women like mature men. Still, seduction is a skill every man should learn - it’ll make you a better more confident person and amplify all areas of your life

epimpstyle · 2025-06-08T21:51:09+00:00

Do not approach women in the gym! Common sense should tell you not to. Also, don't turn approaching someone into a challenge, like young people are doing on YouTube/TikTok, approaching women in all sorts of weird situations just to get viewers. You are 43, I'm 47, you don't have the luxury of looking silly beacause it is not ok at our age. A young guy is forgiven for approaching a woman in the gym, while she eats, while she is with her parents, or with her boyfriend/husband....

Are you too old to approach? Theoretically yes, and it will be difficult if you mention you're a dad but not impossible. I'm 47, without a stable relationship, and I date women in their 20s. And you know what? I'm not a top model, I'm only 170 and I start getting gray hair (I look like Phill Heitlinger, we look like brothers). But I do my best to not show my age, I wear nice clothes, I use anti-wrinkle cream and I try not to gain weight. For this reason, I jog 5 km almost every 2-3 days. This is me in Ukraine 3 years ago: VIDEO, VIDEO, VIDEO... so it is possible, as long as you are friendly, optimistic, and playful.

A1Horizon · 2025-06-08T22:33:43+00:00

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-06-09T03:00:42+00:00

I’m 36 and go out lots. It’s harder and need to be more on the ball. But possible

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2025-06-09T05:29:01+00:00

Sure blog away. Might want to write on your own website since the people on Reddit can be quite harsh. Don't want to ruin your motivation especially when you're late to the party.

I have a lot of resources from A-Z depending on what you want to learn. You can just skim through the library and it will teach you a lot of outer game techniques you can go out and practice.

2025-06-09T07:09:35+00:00

43 year old here, shaved all my hair off, I actually look like a more bulky Neil Strauss.

Age only becomes weird if you make it weird.

Read the book "Too late, mate" its about a 47 year old who learns day game and his experiences.

Seductive_allure3000 · 2025-06-09T10:15:01+00:00

I hate these questions. Life doesn't stop when you turn a certain age

Endless-Non-Mono · 2025-06-09T13:02:57+00:00

47 here. I've never stopped dating and I live an alt-life but age is not a thing so long as you're respectful and don't fuck with uneven power dynamics.

There are a lot of events and clubs that cater to age groups. I often go to 35+ and 40+ events.

I don't approach women in places that are not designed for connecting. That's a me thing.

I would start by checking out and mixer/mingle stuff near you. You can use apps like Dice & EventBrite. I'm currently saturated with partners but I've met and connected with a lot of women at events catering towards speed dating stuff with a twist like trivia speed dating, board game speed dating, dance lesson speed dating and others.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-06-09T21:00:42+00:00

You'll find another woman. Don't let your age deter you from putting yourself back out there. I'm around a decade younger and a divorcee. One thing I realized upon being single again is sex is just not a top priority. What is a priority is finding a respectful woman who motivates and is that extra mile in your character growth and vice versa, someone you just enjoy sharing a journey with as a team.

The tricky part is finding a high stability, low drama woman. So qualifying is something I take much more seriously now through more attentive listening, getting to know her, observing for red flags, meeting her friends, etc. I don't mind the slow game to find a quality woman and I have no problem waving off further dates if I don't sense compatibility.

magicfingers73 · 2025-06-10T06:33:22+00:00

Go for it my guy. I did at a similar age, was really my first dip in to dating as I settled down very young and missed out in my younger years. I learned a lot about myself

BravoPUA · 2025-06-12T19:12:07+00:00

"But I was thinking that maybe I am getting a bit too old, and it might come off as too creepy."

Just calibrate and stay in your lane, and shouldnt be an issue.

I am 45, married, a dad...

I just did a 1on1 last weekend I was demo'ing all weekend hitting on 19 year olds and up, day game at mall, and they all loved it!

Video from student, will prob post longer one later today or tomorrow

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/CD1eGqtH5mM

ResentCourtship2099 · 2025-06-08T21:28:39+00:00

Most will say no

RP_Savage001 · 2025-06-09T04:55:54+00:00

In my 40's I banged a 23yr old and 26yr old. They didn't care neither should you. I also have 3 plates around my age.

Existing-Big-3039 · 2025-06-08T22:29:13+00:00

46 here. I got my confirmation the other day when I tried approaching a woman for the first time in years.

She was tripping over herself to RUN from me.

I'll never do something that stupid again.

shakespearediznuts · 2025-06-09T09:06:03+00:00

Robert De Niro became a father again at 79

Title	Too old at 43?
Author	Royal-Extension-1312
Upvotes	21
Comments	68
Date	June 8, 2025 9:16 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1l6n544/too_old_at_43/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/too-old-at-43.1554271 https://theredarchive.com/post/1554271

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