It’s sad…

GrimloxGoldilox · 2024-01-02T14:40:06+00:00

I proposed on NYE 3 years ago. It was a surreal moment. We danced and had friends all around, while fireworks went off in the background. Popped champagne and we took some beautiful photos together.

Somehow I can't get over it. I look at that moment and remember how amazing it was. We all went out for dinner after. Those photos and videos are forever etched in my memory, preserving my youth for a moment that I could one day look fondly back at and show our children how beautiful mom and dad looked like. That will never happen. I have a hard time trying to let this go.

I'm crying at work just thinking about that. I will never get my youth back. The time and energy I wasted on her. She was my whole world, but as we got further into the marriage she stopped respecting me. She stopped valuing me. She let me go. She walked away.

...I can't let it go though, I just sit mourning the ashes of what was meant to be.

I feel your pain. I too am sad....

S4z3r4c · 2024-01-02T13:47:01+00:00

No it isn't sad. Not anymore.

You are 100% responsible for your happiness OP. Im sorry she wasn't who you thought she was. But with that out the way.

Now go hit the gym, take up a hobby or improve on one you've already started...then go on a revenge tour.

Every FUCKING day there's a new dude in here with his heartbroken. She was supposed to be... we were going to...how did this all happen...

All you need to do is accept that she isn't real. That woman you thought she was doesn't exist. So with that out of the way you are now free to pursue whatever you want.

See you in the gym.

LeaveAlternative7167 · 2024-01-02T04:33:56+00:00

Hang in there. I have been in pain for a while. On Apple Music heard a Radom song that summed everything up. It is from the 70’s but still good. It’s called “we just disagree”. Totally resonated with me.

PressureHuge8958 · 2024-01-02T02:07:51+00:00

I was never engaged. We were at the court house for a ticket of hers. And she saw a sign about court house marriages. She turned to me and said want to get married. She was pregnant at the time. And didn’t want to be like my father. 14 kids from 6 different woman. So I said sure. An hour later we were married. No pics, only witnesses were court employees. Needless to say we’re in the process of divorce now.

frisbeewhippet · 2024-01-02T01:37:22+00:00

Oh fuck. Yeah, all.od that butted up against a confidence that I know I'm going on the right direction. I don't know how to handle the cognitive dissonance though. It tearing me apart.

Wild_Debt_8065 · 2024-01-02T01:34:01+00:00

It’s a hard day. Take the time to reflect on the past. Remember to set your sights on your future. It’s going to be ok soon enough.

let_me_grieve · 2024-01-02T01:06:45+00:00

I don’t have anything to offer that hasn’t already been said but I feel for you. I took a trip down memory lane last night too and went through the entire range of emotions. We just need to do our best to stay mindful and carry on.

Great-Grasby · 2024-01-01T23:52:38+00:00

The last couple days have been rough for me too. This was a really hard week because it was Christmas, then our anniversary, then new years. We loved this holiday season, so it was three gut punches in a row for me. We've been separated for 4 months now so this was my first time going through this week without her. I have a list of "reasons I'm going through with this" (the divorce) and reading it helps a little. I don't do it out of animosity but because I need to remind myself that I'm better off going through with this despite how sick it makes me feel to be apart. Cheers, brother and here's to a better year ahead 🍻

MidniteOG · 2024-01-01T23:37:19+00:00

All that’s left are memories, good and bad. It’s like they died

quantcat · 2024-01-01T22:59:45+00:00

Here with you man. I’ve been pretty good over the last 6 months of going through this, but the New Year is really hitting me hard.

SelectionNo3078 · 2024-01-01T22:32:11+00:00

Im hoping to kick myself in the ass with the new year.

But it will never stop sucking. Also a child of a divorce that made a huge negative impact on my outcomes as a person and a professional

Worried about my kids. And myself.

xjeeperx · 2024-01-01T22:32:07+00:00

Yep, I find it makes it easier when I focus on the bad days more than the good times.

Ecstatic-Shopping313 · 2024-01-01T22:22:24+00:00

I'm right there with you, buddy. I truly believed this was forever. I thought we'd fight through anything together. My parents got divorced and I so badly did not want that for me or my kids. I still can't look at our engagement or wedding photos without crying, and it's been almost two years since she left. I miss the person I was. So much lost innocence.

BigSkyHiker · 2024-01-01T21:57:46+00:00

Ahhhh, bittersweet memories. I hear ya and I feel for you my friend. Last year on this day we snowshoed up this little peak outside of town - early - in the dark - to have a fire and watch the sunrise. We talked about all of the new and positive changes in our lives. I was sooo in love with her and excited for us to start this next chapter. 5 months later - she blindsides me with divorce, and throws in betrayal on top of it. I still struggle with how it all went so wrong. Like it will never make sense but I know that I need to stop trying for it to make sense. I hope someday I can look back on the happy memories and not feel pain. That seems impossible right now.

cactuscharlie · 2024-01-01T21:49:23+00:00

It's the hardest thing I've ever had to face. I don't know why the 1st is such a hard day for me. It clearly is for you, and my heart goes out to you.

Hang in there.

Particular_Car7127 · 2024-01-01T21:48:41+00:00

The woman you marry is not the woman you divorce. Grieve over it and trust in better days ahead. Won't be easy, but you can do it. Seek professional help if you can't break the cycle of the past.

Title	It’s sad…
Author	GravityIsForRookies
Upvotes	50
Comments	43
Date	January 1, 2024 9:39 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/18w7igj/its_sad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/its-sad.1242060 https://theredarchive.com/post/1242060

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