Dress Code for a HVW?

throwaway23004345 · 2020-03-05T02:42:40+00:00

Yes both parties need to make an effort. Women spend a lot more of course. But a man should dress appropriately. I know a girl who knows went on a date with a guy who wore sweatpants 🤢🤢

High maintenance means a man can’t afford you and you need to drop him. I bought myself a Chanel bag and flaunt it proudly. So if a man see that, that signals I have high standards and that he has to come correct. A broke dusty won’t even bother.

How you put yourself together absolutely matters.

gigi_chi · 2020-03-05T02:54:29+00:00

I’m one of those high maintenance girly girl women lol. It’s not true, a lot of men approach high maintenance women. They expect HM women to have high Expectations out of men and at minimum they expect to have to properly court us. HM women attract men who are prepared to shell out the money and pull out the red carpet. Most men assume that is what comes with the territory.

The problem is filtering and vetting the men, because men are men! No matter if they are broke or rich. They have the same behaviors.

We only ward off the suckers lol

99natas · 2020-03-05T03:57:46+00:00

I have noticed a big difference in how I am treated as I now work in a legal field and I am always dressed up.

I actually had no idea how to dress, so I tried to think of a female lawyer who dresses well that I admire. Not slutty but not fugly either.

I went with Amal Clooney, I noticed she has a bit of a formula. Either black with a colored blazer or black pants and blazer with colored shirt.

Makes a big difference. But I’m also wearing like $1000 worth of clothes on the daily.

Appearance matters in how everyone treats you. It’s a little creepy to be honest.

QueenUp · 2020-03-05T02:40:53+00:00

There is a positive correlation between effort made towards appearance and quality. Sure there may be some naturally beautiful ladies who don’t try but still manage to look great. But, for the rest of us (and especially as we get older), there needs to be some effort made.

2020-03-05T03:35:02+00:00

Men don't think anyone is out of their league.

2020-03-05T02:56:24+00:00

I do think it does impact who approaches you in person and on OLD. I’ve heard from people who talked about their experiences on OLD where they were dressed down in their pictures vs when they were dressed up. They’ve said that when they were dressed up they had fewer stupid “let’s link up” messages or coffee date offers and more men were asking them to go on proper dates.

However, I think it’s more important to want to dress in a way that’s comfortable, but looks put together for yourself more than dressing up just to weed out LVMs. “Look good, feel good” is definitely a thing and it can make someone feel more confident. You also get treated better for doing it in general.

Scaredycat2019 · 2020-03-05T03:19:01+00:00

This is a silly question IMO.

In ANY situation — be it workplace, friendships, dating — you will be taken more seriously if you look put together.

This doesn’t mean you have to wear the latest designer everything, but the idea of “low effort” doesn’t sound like the path toward being a HVW to me.

I wear pretty subdued clothing but I always look polished and professional. Key is to have lots of neutrals in your wardrobe. My “uniform” is neutral top / sweater, well-fitting black jeans, boots. So it’s lowER effort, but I still put a lot of thought into how I come off.

Dressing nicely and appearing polished is a huge contributing factor in how others treat you and also can play into how you feel about yourself. You’re worth the effort.

I am absolutely not saying any man should have a say in what you wear or how you look, but yes, looking sophisticated is important to be HV in any aspect of your life.

eng2fly · 2020-03-05T15:53:30+00:00

It absolutely matters even if it's something people don't want to admit. Starting summer 2019 I changed my whole wardrobe and moved to a more polished look.

I was raised by a mother who never taught me a thing about makeup, taking care of myself, or how to dress nicely. I work in the business world and would show up in jeans, converse, and sometimes a corporate t-shirt.

I completely threw out all my closet this past summer and bought a few staple pieces. I am a fan of dressing femininely and looking cute in as little effort as possible. Dresses are a huge staple for me.

There is a huge difference in how I am treated when I present stereotypically feminine vs the only "low key" style I had. I have had men race in front of me to open the door (now) vs some polite door holding in my low key style. It is absolutely worth the extra effort to look nice to me. I don't wear make up but have a good skin care and hair care routine along with mascara. It's worth it to me to look a little more put together.

Rockymemorylane · 2020-03-05T05:53:06+00:00

Why would you dress in a “high maintenance” way just to ward off LVM? If you enjoy a “high maintenance” style then of course you should go for it. But if you do it just to help you bag a man you are missing the point. The goal is to live authentically, and if you meet a guy along the way who appreciates you for who you are, authentically, great! And if not, also great, because you are happy doing your own thing.

Of course you should dress appropriately and sensibly for the setting, but otherwise you should strive to dress in a way that makes you happy, comfortable, and allows you to express yourself. If you don’t know what that is, that’s okay. You have the excitement of going on a style journey with yourself ahead of you!

But don’t ever dress for a man, or anyone other than yourself (within reason of course, don’t wear dirty sweats to the office, etc.) Dressing a certain way to avoid certain men is just as inauthentic and insulting to yourself as not dressing a certain way to avoid other types of men. Just be yourself, you’ll be happier for it! And that is what this is all about, being happy for yourself, not finding a man.

A man is just an incidental bonus. Never forget!

unclutchedbollucks · 2020-03-05T03:11:22+00:00

Dress Code is an odd way to phrase it but you’re definitely not wrong about how looking rather put together will ward off undesirables. It wouldn’t be absolute nonsense to have a gander at what the pick-mes consider fashionable these days and cut those out of your life, but you don’t have to live by often repeated advice like “always try to look timeless over trendy” either. It may be just as simply as imagining how the best version of yourself would dress and present themselves, sounds a lot less stressful than trying to navigate fashion rules and the like.

riseaboveagain · 2020-03-05T14:54:29+00:00

I noticed a HUGE difference in how both men and women treat me when I’m wearing heels, so I wear them any time I want to make an impression.

High heels to work every day, and any other place where I want people to take me seriously. Or get noticed :) Men LOVE them, so do I

circescircus · 2020-03-05T13:59:57+00:00

Looking the part helps tremendously. It also increases your confidence, to look how you feel inside. It does ward off LVM to some extent. A lot of them will still shoot their shot though. The difference is that their mask will slip off more quickly because your appearance will trigger their insecurity. Meanwhile, if you look chill and low maintenance, they'll feel more confident by you, and it might take longer for them to show their true colors.

It's hard to explain the advantages of dressing well and putting effort into your appearance, until you try it yourself and see the changes in your life, see how people treat you differently.

HVW is determined by her inner personality, but the world judges you for your appearance. This is just reality. HV people are tethered to reality.

Putting effort into your appearance doesn't take as much energy as people think...

Putting on a blouse or a nice shirt takes the same effort as putting on a t-shirt.

Putting on a comfortable, well-fitted pair of trousers takes the same effort as putting on leggings or sweatpants.

Putting on a hoodie takes the same effort as putting on a blazer.

Putting on a dress or skirt requires a bit more effort-- you have to remove body hair and/or wear stockings, and put on short shorts (at least I do, to prevent the wind from showing off my ass), but it's hardly anymore effort if you're already removing body hair. I despise stockings/tights though, and I wear less dresses/skirts in winter because of that.

It just costs more money to build a wardrobe of good quality shirts, trousers, quality jeans, shoes, bags, etc. But it's a wardrobe that will last for years, if you take care of your things.

As for beauty-- if you add up every dollar, from shampoo to razors to lipstick, it adds up. There are ways to cut costs. You don't have to ever paint your nails, no one cares really. And you don't need a lot of makeup, to have a makeup style that suits your life and style. Salons are expensive, but you can stick to low-maintenance hair styles (minimal coloring, no bleaching). Skincare products can cost a lot, but you can find deals on Amazon or online.

jewdy09 · 2020-03-05T03:08:36+00:00

I wonder honestly how much it matters.

Personally, I think you should do what you're most comfortable with. Trying to force something based on a guessed outcome to me is personally a waste of time. But I am no expert.

Wonderrednow · 2020-03-05T11:56:59+00:00

Develop your own personal style and be confident in the way you look. If you've ever had to shrink away in embarrassment when suddenly running into people in public because you're not "on", then you are doing something wrong...to yourself. A good friend told me that no matter what, when you step out, you should always be 100% happy with the way you've chosen to present yourself. You have to decide what that look is. I still do grocery runs in sweats though lol.

There should be no standard style of dress, but I've noticed that women are much more confident when they are happy with the way they look, whatever that look may be. Will you war of LVM? NO. Because LVM will always have the audacity to TRY. But you will likely feel better telling them to fuck off because you're happy with yourself.

If you have corporate or professional/white collar jobs, then there is a culture of dress/style that you know you need to emulate to fit in. This is usually somewhat rigid. Observation and pinterest should be enough to help you get there.

If you are in a more creative field where you are allowed some individual/creative license with your look, then you still have to maintain a professional standard with a personal touch. There is not code for this. It's trial, error and research/effort.

ModernDayOracle · 2020-03-05T09:07:41+00:00

I think its about dressing for the occasion, and being comfortable in what you're wearing. I never have my nails done because I do a fighting sport and an art that needs short nails, but my hair is always cut and dyed nicely, my clothes fit well, and I have my own unique sense of personal style.

raiu86 · 2020-03-05T23:42:14+00:00

I think you need to be you. If you are a jeans and tee and hiking kind of girl you need to attract men who like those kinds of girls. If you pretend to be a cocktail dress heals and symphonies kind of girl the men you attract will be (understandably) disappointed when you try to be who you really are. And that will feel super shitty.

That said, being a cute stylish(ish) and well groomed version of you will give you more men to choose from...for better and worse.

psychsense · 2020-03-05T04:17:18+00:00

Wear whatever you want as long as it’s appropriate for the occasion. And be clean. I don’t think there’s any need to have to dress up, have your nails done, or put on makeup to go to class for example. Just go about your day and don’t feel like you have to live up to beauty standards that will always be unobtainable anyways.

redfarmmmmm · 2020-03-05T07:47:13+00:00

I actually used to dress according to a guy. If I was dating a guy who can’t afford to shop at Harris’s or Neiman Marcus, I wear my cheap clothes. If a guy is well off and takes me to fancy places I put on my CELINE coat with Chanel bag. Most of the times I layer it up. But I realized HM wards off LVM guys. I hate guys who wear same clothes everyday claiming their minimalist. Bro, you’re not. You’re just lazy to wear different clothes or moreover if you have one, it’ll be wrinkly untidy ones.

Uglyoldncranky1982 · 2020-03-05T11:33:40+00:00

Well I'm doomed. I listen to metal, like unique clothes, do my own nails, have pink hair, and don't care designer bags. Guess I'll go sit with the lvw

Title	Dress Code for a HVW?
Author	Rockymemorylane
Upvotes	38
Comments	42
Date	March 5, 2020 2:36 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fdof7e/dress_code_for_a_hvw/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dress-code-for-a-hvw.680882 https://theredarchive.com/post/680882

Comments