Something I noticed about being gaslighted. . .

queenofswordsxxx · 2021-10-28T02:49:43+00:00

Very likely this is true but I think most LVM simply aren’t that smart.

A lot of them are good at gaslighting because they genuinely think women are in the wrong (due to misogyny). This combined with their male entitlement to the illusive ‘cool girl’ leads them to a twisted world view and they try to impose their narrative onto us women.

Averyhvw · 2021-10-28T03:16:20+00:00

True, and look for micro expressions. They can’t help but leak clues. Why did he flash a small smile while telling me something bad? Your intuition will catch it before your eyes do, and it takes practice. Watch what the mouth does. One side turned up in a half smile? That’s contempt. Contempt for what exactly is harder to parse and context dependent of course. Are the eyes sincere? Is he good at smizing (smiling with the eyes)? He might be good at hiding negative emotions too.

KindredMaximus · 2021-10-28T04:07:32+00:00

lol -"I don't know what you're talking about." was my ex husbands favourite rejoinder.

Now, my daughter and I say it to each other liberally when the other has a complaint. It ends in gales of laughter now.
With my ex. I spent years of frustration trying to explain, re-explain, change my tone, change my words - all to get ''I don't know what you're talking about''. If another man ever in my life looks at me and says ''I don't know what you're talking about'' - that'll be the last time he sees me.

yeahhh22 · 2021-10-28T03:39:42+00:00

I told my pickme ex friend that he knows exactly what he's doing. She's like "I think he's really that dumb!!". No.

cherchezlafemmed · 2021-10-28T03:41:45+00:00

If you start hearing gems like these, you need to run;

"Gosh, you're so sensitive!"

"Man, every little thing just sets you off!"

"Every time I try, you always find fault"

"I can never win with you"

"You never appreciate when I do try"

"Stop overreacting, it's not a big deal"

"All these other women act normal, not like you"

Now, these are the ones I finally started to recognize near the end. When it starts, it's so insidious you'd probably have a wee 'ding' on your radar but then they'd distract you... well, not all y'all because you're way smarter than I was 15 years ago. <grin>

pukubr · 2021-10-28T02:58:14+00:00

If they do that I'll ghost them, and give THEM something to be confused about.
"I wonder if it's because I tried to gaslight her?"

Keepers12345 · 2021-10-28T05:15:11+00:00

In Lundy Bancroft's, "Why does he do that?" She explains that when a man tells you that you've changed and xyz, it's because their perception of you has changed.

By refusing and resisting being controlled by them, their fantasy isn't lining up with what they're experiencing.

Made me realize why my ex was telling me how I've changed and I'm in a bad mood (seriously wasn't, but he would start by projecting, which I then foolishly defended myself).

His perception of me changed whenever my actions showed independence and questioned (very reasonably so) his actions.

Thus, to his power back, he would exhaustingly gaslight me. One night, he told me that I called him selfish and I 100% didn't. I'm really glad that I'm no longer with him.

Gaslighting just gets worse over time, in my experience.

Kyliekimmy · 2021-10-28T10:46:06+00:00

This is very true thats why i dont defend myself anymore...i just leave and never speak to you again Am notorious for that lol

sugarrrrrush · 2021-10-28T04:11:09+00:00

That’s a bingo

msssst · 2021-10-28T09:36:21+00:00

Yes this has happened to me numerous times. And then you are second guessing yourself / thinking you’re wrong / apologising.

anonymous_monkey2 · 2021-10-30T03:41:30+00:00

I was living with an abusive guy who said, in front of our other housemate "Did I say that? That doesnt sound like me!" and got all hurt and shocked

So it looked like I was the bad one, because my reaction was "WTF YES YOU DID SAY THAT TO ME!"

He knew exactly what he said. He didnt forget. Disgusting these men are.

Title	Something I noticed about being gaslighted. . .
Author	avamansouri
Upvotes	391
Comments	33
Date	October 27, 2021 11:37 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qh9nsq/something_i_noticed_about_being_gaslighted/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/something-i-noticed-about-being-gaslighted.1081437 https://theredarchive.com/post/1081437

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