Particularly, men who reserve to emotional abuse and manipulation (also forms of battering). You need be aware that, eventually, the abuse will turn physical, which could:

• End your life;

• Deplete your professional and academic opportunities;

• Stunt your emotional, mental, and physical growth;

• Devastate your nervous system, which will affect your weight, reproductive organs, immunity, and beauty;

A man who simply engages in triangulation or withholding behaviors in the context of their interpersonal relationships is extremely dangerous. It should always prompt you to end further interactions with him.

This means that, prior to going on dates with any man, you have to:

• VERIFY: Do a thorough background check before and after a date. If you have a friend who is good at it, ask them for help. Ensure that your first date is one on FaceTime, where you can gauge for immediate red flags;

• IDENTITY DISCLOSURE: Never disclose your living address. Do not let them pick you up for a date or DoorDash you a cup of your favorite coffee. Be vague about where and what you do for work;

• TRAUMA DUMP: Never share your vulnerabilities, traumas, or aspirations (“I am ready to be treated well”/“I am tired of wasting time”). Watch your language and what it conveys to a potential predator;

• BLOCK: Once you decide that he did not pass the test, block him on every social media platform, not only where you follow each other. Make sure that your social media is private.

I, like many other women on this subreddit, am still dealing with the prolonged consequences of being in a relationship with a Negative Value Man.

When we say that you have to block and delete a dating potential when the first orange/red flag pops up, we mean it. You have to ensure that you are always on guard when dating men, no matter how unassuming or well-meaning they may look.

Stop giving them opportunities to gaslight, manipulate, and abuse you. You’re better off spending time on improving your life, than chatting with a guy who already showed you some red flags — drop him.

Drop anyone who does not add value to your life.