20-year-old Oxford student found dead by suicide after female student told his friend group their sexual encounter was 'uncomfortable'

sanandrios · 2024-11-09T15:07:27+00:00

On 11 January 2024, Alexander and a group of friends, including the female student [only known as B] went to a pub. Upon returning to the college, Alexander went to B's room, and they had sex.

In the days following, B confided to several male friends that she felt 'discomfort' about the sexual encounter. This led to a 'physical altercation' between K, an ex-boyfriend of B, and Alexander.

While B did not intend to report the incident formally, her disclosures led to a growing sense of animosity towards Alexander within his social circle. Two of Alexander's friends confronted him over the girl's allegations and told him they 'needed space from him'.

The next day, he jumped from Donnington Bridge into the River Thames and died of serious head injuries.

R.I.P. Alexander Rogers (2003–2024). He is survived by his parents and his sister Amelia.

-_-n · 2024-11-09T16:08:55+00:00

These people should be named and shamed. This is despicable. Rest in peace.

Current_Finding_4066 · 2024-11-09T15:10:23+00:00

The culture of false allegations needs to come to and end.

VariousScallion8597 · 2024-11-09T15:17:01+00:00

I can only imagine his last moments. The fear. The dread. Wondering when the cops will come. Or campus authority. Imagining his parents reaction...

We never prepare young men to treat women like the threat they are. We teach young men to not BE a threat but we never teach them to protect themselves.

gmnotyet · 2024-11-09T15:28:01+00:00

DivertismentChannel · 2024-11-09T16:04:23+00:00

Poor guy, I really feel sorry for what this horrible person lead him to do. I bet she then said, after finding out he committed suicide, that “Omg I never wanted to hurt him!”, just like Inquisitor where only after he committed suicide, that girl felt sorry for him and the second girl who called him out with false proof, said that she doesn’t deserve the threats and backlash

itsakon · 2024-11-09T15:34:45+00:00

I get lots of downvotes on Reddit for saying false accusal is basically rape. It’s an act of extreme cruelty by someone who doesn’t see you as a human being, doesn’t care, and has no problem whatsoever using sex to destroy people psychologically.

How is that different?

RevelationSr · 2024-11-09T16:13:12+00:00

"Uncomfortable" is a trigger word used to initiate human resource proceedings, which invariably target men at work, as well.

wherenobodyknowss · 2024-11-09T16:32:28+00:00

There needs to be a sentence equal to the crime if the accusation is found to be false.

Disastrous_Average91 · 2024-11-09T16:08:56+00:00

So sad. No body deserves to be made to feel like they should end their life. Rest in peace💕

pacsatonifil · 2024-11-09T17:13:07+00:00

I can’t imagine being a young straight boy. I feel privileged to have grown up gay and only dealt with men

bundeywundey · 2024-11-09T15:46:39+00:00

When false accusations are made the accuser should automatically receive the maximum sentence for the crime they falsely accused another of. It should be mandatory maximum every time, no exceptions.

Number-Thirteen · 2024-11-09T17:07:38+00:00

This is how women abuse and bully, since they aren't physically stronger. She is responsible for his death.

XenoX101 · 2024-11-10T06:48:57+00:00

Then why did she agree to the encounter? Why do women get no accountability for their actions? Feel uncomfortable? Tell the fucking guy! He's not a mind-reader! And what if he is autistic? God help him, it will be impossible for him to gain the confidence to know at all times whether the woman is feeling comfortable, simply because we don't hold women accountable for their inaction of simply communicating with men how they feel. Even the act of asking for consent is a failure to hold women accountable, because it implies that women cannot just say "No" or "I would rather not do this", it must be the man's responsibility to check in on her at every junction, like some child who hasn't learned how to talk to people yet or set boundaries. What a ridiculous and sad world we live in for men.

Icehonesty · 2024-11-09T18:12:44+00:00

This poor man. This is the society we live in now. I’d hate to be early 20’s in college nowadays.

What’s B’s name? Since it’s no formal reporting of assault etc, and sounds like a false accusation among friends, why don’t we know her name?

Both-Ad-9225 · 2024-11-09T22:27:56+00:00

Why are the shitstains that drove him to do this identified as "friends" . If that's " friends" I'd rather have enemies.

JaimeeLannisterr · 2024-11-09T16:52:41+00:00

Evil people. His friends must have 0 critical thinking skills

Antique_Date203 · 2024-11-09T17:20:28+00:00

Not trying to defend either side, but it would really help if there were specific details. “Uncomfortable” is such a broad term often used to smear someone.

Was the sex consensual? Did he do something she specifically asked him not to? Or did she just regret her decision afterwards and need to blame the guy or lie about the encounter? What did his suicide letter say? There needs to be more details or a formal inquiry conducted.

However, I have a hard time believing that a man who would take his own life as some sort of atonement or being so distraught that he had sexually assaulted someone would have been the type to commit an act like that in the first place. He probably didn’t want to live with a false accusation. Hopefully more details come out.

Gusto082024 · 2024-11-09T23:30:28+00:00

"B" got a man killed. Why does she get to remain anonymous? Why do the men who attacked him get to remain anonymous?

TazKidNoah · 2024-11-10T01:43:07+00:00

I think this is my first comment on this subreddit, so here it goes:

Have feminist organizations made any announcements about this in their college? Will there be investigations from the police if charges can be made against these suspects?

liberals will never fix this, We need to remind other men, why relationships outside of matrimony are volatile.

SubstantialMajor2798 · 2024-11-09T19:32:12+00:00

Men are turning out as serious enemies to other men. These immature bastards need to support their mates instead of joining hands with other women in “cancel culture”

Greedy-Ambition6551 · 2024-11-09T16:44:26+00:00

IMO this is manslaughter~

They should receive the FULL sentence of a manslaughter charge~

And I mean a man’s length of a sentence, not a woman’s…

Shreddersaurusrex · 2024-11-09T23:22:54+00:00

The snatch is not worth the trouble boys

This is tragic

shopinhower · 2024-11-10T08:55:04+00:00

False allegations that result in someone’s suicide like this should be a criminal offence.

DrewYetti · 2024-11-10T11:32:25+00:00

Bad sexual experience equals sexual assault. Way to ruin a man’s life because she was “uncomfortable” in the bed room. Being isolated and lonely due to his “friends” abandoning him at time of need. RIP to this man and condolences to his family.

Top-Music9401 · 2024-11-09T17:17:11+00:00

We need to identify and hold accountable these faceless cowards who became agents of his death. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH – these people shouldn’t be let off the hook.

Successful_Video_970 · 2024-11-09T22:42:41+00:00

It’s the double standards. Not the fact that she’s made stories up. If a guy did this and a girl committed suicide. It would be all over the media.

2024-11-09T22:13:53+00:00

And you guys keep trusting women 🙄.

Shreddersaurusrex · 2024-11-09T23:24:41+00:00

“Two of Alexander’s friends confronted him over the girl’s allegations and told him he had ‘messed up’ and they ‘needed space from him’.”

Discomfort? Maybe she shouldn’t be having sex if she’s gonna complain about dIsCoMfOrt.

South-Steak-7810 · 2024-11-10T13:24:32+00:00

The following should be told to (young) men.

“Studies examining how women feel after a one-night stand often reveal mixed emotions, with feelings of regret more commonly reported among women than men, though exact percentages can vary by study. Research has suggested that around 30% to 80% of women experience some form of regret after casual sexual encounters like one-night stands. This range can differ due to factors like cultural context, individual personality, social expectations, and specific circumstances around the encounter.

Key studies point out that women’s regret often stems from concerns about safety, emotional fulfillment, societal judgment, or feelings of self-worth, while men’s regrets more frequently relate to missed opportunities. One large-scale study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior found that around 35% of women felt positive afterward, while approximately 70% reported mixed or negative feelings, with regret cited more frequently among women than men.” ChatGPT

And my guess is that when alcohol is involved, the percentage of regret increases exponentially. I’ve seen one poster which said that women can’t consent if there is alcohol involved. No mention whether men can consent… So when a man and a woman have sex whilst drunk and she feels regrets afterwards the blame is fully placed on the man, even if he was drunk as well, or even more drunk.

Rest in peace to this young man. And I hope his so called friends and the woman will know AND feel in their guts for the rest of their lives that it was them and their actions that led to him taking his life. They are responsible.

Salamadierha · 2024-11-09T19:06:31+00:00

This isn't a false allegation, just an inference of feeling "uncomfortable". Moving on from rape accusations to "everything wasn't perfect, there were no violins playing in the background or roses, which has got to be his fault, hasn't it?"

UnusualArmadillo · 2024-11-11T08:24:56+00:00

Two things are absent from this article that give an indication of the unspoken facts.

There is no recommendation for any changes or even a review of the University's sexual assault response policies.
There is no mention that any friends told B to report it to the police, nor to the University authorities. There is no mention that the University were aware of what B was alleging, nor that the coroner has suggested that B's allegations were worthy of being reported to the University or the police.

Only those close to this know for sure, but the whole slant of the article/coroner's finding is that nothing criminal was being alleged. Discomfort is not a crime.

IMO young women are being primed to look for discomfort during sex. It seems that for some, having a story, any story of a bad feeling during sex is a coming of age. Sharing the story is a performative act, hence it is repeatedly shared. Coupled with a youth culture that values being a victim as a kind of social credit, it can prove lethal.

RandomYT05 · 2024-11-09T20:01:51+00:00

Poor kid felt like he had no other choice. Honestly, given the choice between suicide and defecting to Russia to die at the front or maybe live free another day, I'd choose Russia. At least my chances there are better.

2kenzhe · 2024-11-10T04:10:40+00:00

Humanroid · 2024-11-10T20:23:17+00:00

He should have left the uni. Taken a gap year, spent time with family and real friends who he could rely on - people who knew him before uni. He should have maybe travelled and taken time out.

Then, when he was ready to go back to uni, transfer to a different one for a brand new start and leave all that nonsense behind. Killing himself over this incident was pointless.

Capable-Mushroom99 · 2024-11-10T07:15:23+00:00

I don’t think the female student did anything that hasn’t always happened. It seems to me the real issue is the reaction of his male friends who have been indoctrinated to believe that her version of reality is the only one that can be true and that he must be treated like a leper. And based on his reaction he was probably similarly indoctrinated. Wokeism is a mind virus that damages the mental health of the weak.

NewGenMurse · 2024-11-09T15:46:37+00:00

You know what…

Maybe Project 2025 isn’t that bad after all.

PuzzleheadedFold4863 · 2024-11-09T19:22:43+00:00

Wait, he died ONE DAY after he was confronted? 3 people total confronted him about it? How is that "pervasive"?

I'm sure there is a real cancel culture trend at university, but this really does not seem to be an example of it. There was no mass shunning, no campaign to cancel him, no ostracization from social events (as there wasn't time for there to be any social events).

Notreal6909873 · 2024-11-18T02:45:14+00:00

Where does it say he was falsely accused?

existential_antelope · 2024-11-09T17:31:15+00:00

Am I missing something? Where did it say it was a false allegation?

Kafkabracadabra · 2024-11-09T17:25:41+00:00

Wait, wait, wait! I'm not supporting any of the sides here, because we lack a lot of relevant information. Do we know what she actually told the others about the sexual encounter? Do we know what compelled his friends to react with hostility? Do we know his version of the story and what he said in order to defend his reputation?

As much as we know, this could still be a true case of rape, to which the friends reacted with hostility and the supposed rapist found himself cornered. But we don't know enough, so it could be a false accusation too, which the friends accepted uncritically and which made the man feel helpless.

So why do we instantly flair it as a false accusation? To me, it's a situation about which I know way too little.

Humble-Writing4246 · 2024-11-09T21:07:33+00:00

I am reading the situation as he pressured her into sex or a particular sex act. That isn't cool, but no need for anyone to lose their lives.

2024-11-11T08:33:54+00:00

He said his actions were unforgivable, if it's assault then why are we trying to normalise it by being sympathetic. By his own admission his actions were unforgivable. Good riddance

Puzzleheaded-Talk815 · 2024-11-11T09:27:58+00:00

He left a suicide note, saying what he did to victim 'B' was ''unforgiveable''.

So I welcome it. In the Bible, the punishment for ra*e is death.

Well done for all who stood up for the victim.

Icy-Donkey7995 · 2024-11-10T02:26:47+00:00

4% of reported rapes are false .... The same percentage of false allegations of any reported crime in the UK..

But the article didn't even mention a false allegation... You all just want to make sweeping assumptions to suit your rhetoric

wilhelmfink4 · 2024-11-09T15:51:34+00:00

I guarantee there was some other things going on in his life

Appropriate-Basil392 · 2024-11-09T21:44:45+00:00

Okay, so why are you all stating it was a false allegation? We don’t know that. There is a letter he wrote to the girl/friends expressing we did some unacceptable/awful, and expresses his extreme remorse. I’m a women, and most of us don’t act this way for no purpose. There’s a good chance he assaulted her, so they kept their distance.

20-year-old Oxford student found dead by suicide after female student told his friend group their sexual encounter was 'uncomfortable'

Comments

Innocent until proven guilty. Drill it in your head.

Title	20-year-old Oxford student found dead by suicide after female student told his friend group their sexual encounter was 'uncomfortable'
Author	sanandrios
Upvotes	1643
Comments	231
Date	November 9, 2024 3:03 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1gnbzrx/20yearold_oxford_student_found_dead_by_suicide/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/20-year-old-oxford-student-found-dead-by-suicide.1535205 https://theredarchive.com/post/1535205