Why do people think women are being tricked/manipulated into casual sex?

reluctantly_red · 2018-01-04T21:59:25+00:00

It's the exact same thing as when women have beta orbiters. There is the subtext that the friendship could lead to more. However, for the man there is actually a possibility that the friendship could change into something else. For the woman, she already knows for certain that it won't. She doesn't make this clear to the guy. So the friendship continues and he gets emotionally invested thinking that the closer they get, the better the chance of it turning into something more. But there never really was that possibility. She is reaping the benefits of the friendship at his expense.

With casual sex, the women usually is hoping to turn it into something more. The guys acts like this is a possibility, when he already knows it's not. If men put 'only looking for casual sex' on their dating profile, they will not get any responses. So they pretend they are open to relationships when they are not.

despisedlove2 · 2018-01-05T02:28:20+00:00

You left it incomplete.

They have sex. In the morning, he leaves.

She wonders if it was bad sex, or whether they were under the influence, or whether she doesn't like the guy.

She calls a friend. They chatter about what happened. Her friend tells her that it was rape.

She starts feeling angry.

She decides it was rape.

caesarfecit · 2018-01-04T23:55:57+00:00

What I find hilarious about this is the following:

Blooper: "Casual sex is bad because men lie about their intentions and hurt women!"

RP/PP: "So you're saying men lead women on and this is bad, but about about when women lead men on and then say "let's just be friends."

BP: "Oh that's different. Men are responsible for themselves and they shouldn't pretend to be friends just to get into a girl's pants."

RP/PP: "Oh well what about when women say it's just sex to them and it turns out that it wasn't and the guy is an asshole if he doesn't want to date her?"

Blooper: "Oh he probably led her on/some other excuse/hamstering/no response"

How about we all just agree that people should look out for their own best interests, be responsible for themselves, and try not to lie about their intentions/have their cake and eat it too. Is that so hard?

Orange_Paisley · 2018-01-04T21:49:04+00:00

Because men lie about their intentions and make women believe they want a relationship and not a quick fuck.

caesarfecit · 2018-01-04T23:35:06+00:00

People think women are being tricked or manipulated into casual sex because men lie about their intentions to get women into bed.

Why anyone is surprised by this baffles me. Everyone knows men will say and do anything to get pussy, including lying, including making false declarations of love, including saying "of course I'll respect you in the morning" and "I'll call you tomorrow". This is a situation as old as time. Attractive men have been lying to women to get them into the sack for millennia.

What's really going on here with women is a complaint that women can lie, defraud, deceive, and manipulate, but men must be 100% honest and above board with their intentions or it's RAAAAAYPE or "sexual harassment/#metoo or "failure of affirmative consent".

If a man lies about whether he's married, she has not given affirmative consent and he raped her.

If a man lies about whether he loves her, she has not given affirmative consent and he raped her.

If she doesn't get off and have an orgasm, she wasn't attracted to him and since she wouldn't have sex with men she's not attracted to, he raped her.

If he lied about having a 9 inch dick but it's dark and she can feel only six inches, she didn't give affirmative consent and he raped her.

This isn't hyperbole. The current thinking behind "affirmative consent" in some circles is that men can rape women by misrepresenting something about themselves, knowing that she wouldn't have consented to sex if he had told her the truth. "Rape by false pretenses". The rationale is that the man represented himself as something he wasn't, knowing that if he had told the truth, she would not have consented to sex. For example if the guy lied about being married, she didn't consent to sex with a married man; she consented to sex with the unmarried man he said he was. If he had told the truth and admitted he was married, she would not have had sex with him. So he raped her, because he got sex by false pretenses.

LSTW1234 · 2018-01-04T22:01:58+00:00

Not all casual sex is a result of manipulation but with respect to casual sex that is...

he intentionally makes her believe he actually likes her as opposed to just wants to fuck her
he pressures her even after she expresses discomfort or resistance (I don’t mean rape, just pressure)
he intentionally gets her drunk

Merger-Arbitrage · 2018-01-04T22:28:07+00:00

Mostly because there are open suggestions in the Manosphere/TRP to:

A) Hide your intentions of being interested in casual sex first and foremost, which is manipulation through deceit/dishonesty

and more importantly:

B) Avoid disclosing you are seeing other women, which implies you are very likely into the casual sex scene

...combined with the fact that:

Far more women are into LTRs than casual sex, even at a very young age, and men should know this.

So what happens is this:

With a substantial amount of women looking for LTRs, many will meet a guy and get some vibes of exclusivity and interest for an LTR from the guy, so they sleep with them assuming this is what the guy wants, when he actually does not.

Sure, you might be able to blame the woman for not explicitly asking if they are exclusive/committed or not, but then you can just as easily blame the guy for not making his intentions completely clear by being upfront and honest.

However, even if she asks:

There's also the occasional suggestion to just flat out lie to the girl to get what you want, like telling her you are exclusive (which suggests you might want an LTR, again) when you are not.

Mr_Smoogs · 2018-01-04T23:03:11+00:00

I think usually when a woman feels "tricked" or manipulated, it's not an ONS scenario where she meets a guy, flirts with him, goes home with him and fucks him that night. It's more likely to happen in a situation where they've been "hanging out" or "dating" for a bit and she thinks it's headed toward a relationship and he ghosts/dumps her after they have sex, OR an ongoing hookup/FWB scenario where she catches feels and/or the boundaries aren't clear. I've known of situations where they're sleeping together and he's acting like a boyfriend, sending her cute texts etc. but is unwilling to actually label the relationship, so she's confused about where they stand, and when it eventually turns out to be just sex, she feels duped.

I still agree with you that women have agency in these situations, and I've given my share of tough love to girl friends who have had extended "casual things" with guys and foolishly thought it would eventually become something more. I don't think this is often something men maliciously do to women (though I'm sure it is sometimes.) It's just a result of things being ambiguous and not clearly defined, which is inevitable in hookup culture.

That said, depending on the situation, I don't think it's stupid for a woman to think casual sex might lead to a relationship; often enough, it does. Not usually from ONS, sure, but that's not the only form casual sex takes.

passepar2t · 2018-01-05T01:24:22+00:00

I have definitely tricked women into having sex with me by appearing to be more attractive than I actually am. I carefully concealed my flaws and put on this debonair persona while exaggerating my accomplishments in an offhanded "oh that old thing?" kind of way. When I did everything correctly, the women were swayed into desiring me for one night. Maybe even several nights. Then they'd inevitably realize how much of a loser I am and depart, being slightly revolted at their own decisionmaking.

I've never lied about commitment to string a woman along though. The one woman I've been with for more than a year did the lying to herself on that one.

sadomasochrist · 2018-01-04T22:07:31+00:00

Do you know what manipulation is? Manipulation entails deceiving someone to doing something while hiding the full details with disingenuous or malicious intent.

She may have decided to do those things, but if he intentionally leads her on that doing so would lead to more than casual sex--then that guy had manipulated her. Otherwise, fair game she knew the risks.

MercedesBenzoAMG · 2018-01-04T23:37:59+00:00

Because they think women are stupid and don't have sex drives apparently. The only way a woman could possibly want casual sex is if she's being preyed on by a man who wants to "pump and dump" her. Women never consent to flings at all, ever.

My exaggeration there is only very slight, this is basically what the women here want us to believe.

Utter madnesses mate. Not sure if this is just a US thing or what. Are you just more prude down there or something? UK is full of slutty girls. Just go to any nightclub on a Friday night bruv. They know full well that any guy chatting them up is not looking for an LTR. They ain't stupid. They just wanna get laid.

truedemocracy3 · 2018-01-05T05:00:55+00:00

A lot of women view sex as just another step to a relationship, and that when sex is given but a relationship not returned that they were somehow used. They then think the guy used them and is only after one thing/wasting her time. What they don't realize is a lot of those men are still testing their worth as relationship material both before and after sex, and don't associate sex with a mutually exclusive relationship. When things are called off it's not because he got what he wanted and is done (though there is sometimes a feeling of conquering what you wanted) but because he realized she wouldn't make an ideal partner

damaskrose · 2018-01-04T23:25:31+00:00

Because we hear lots of "he said we had a future together, then ghosted after sex" stories.

[deleted] · 2018-01-04T21:48:27+00:00

The trick may involve him saying that he wants more and then proceeding to dump her afterwards

Electra_Cute · 2018-01-04T21:47:49+00:00

Who is saying this?

oneprettycoolcat · 2018-01-05T00:46:10+00:00

Because women are terrified of being judged so they have to act like they didn't want to bang that ex-con behind the Waffle House at 3 a.m.

truedemocracy3 · 2018-01-05T15:21:18+00:00

Women have a status of victim-hood in almost all dealings of gender. Friend zone? Guy's a dick. Fuck zone? Guy is still a dick.

SlimLovin · 2018-01-05T20:10:38+00:00

...Because we're on a forum about a forum where men intentionally manipulate women in to sleeping with them, including "pushing through last-minute resistance?"

newName543456 · 2018-01-07T10:45:20+00:00

Because it destroys their BP vision of women being pure innocent angels.

Whisper · 2018-01-13T10:41:37+00:00

She is an adult who can make her own decisions

Nope.

Women are not adults. They are like children who never grow up.

Liberals and feminists and other whack jobs of a similar stripe are forever insisting that women are mature and wise and competent and powerful (in a somewhat shrill and desperate tone), but their insistence on "protecting" them from being "influenced" or "pressured" reveals that even they don't really believe it.

But they are really, really trying not to think about that, because the implications horrify them.

Princeso_Bubblegum · 2018-01-04T22:19:13+00:00

By this standard, no one is ever manipulated by anything.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-01-04T22:13:07+00:00

No one is forcing her to have sex. Women like to have sex

while i agree with you there no one "manipulating" or "tricking" women into having sex, it is disingenuous to then end your little screed with this line, which has not been contemplated by either the title or body of the post. men do quite often FORCE women to have sex, but youre right, they neithe rmanipulate them or trick them

PostNationalism · 2018-01-04T23:59:05+00:00

TRP have to lie to get women to fuck them

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PBRScagsquad · 2018-01-04T21:48:43+00:00

Women often talk about these encounters like they "just happened" and if they end things poorly with the guy or it was a shitty ONS they often tell themselves that it "just happened", they were manipulated the whole time etc etc and they generally believe this to be true. It does not help that society likes to encourage this attitude. What you're talking about is female solipsism, they believe it to be true so therefore in their minds it is.

Plopolok · 2018-01-04T22:04:08+00:00

I agree. Maybe for women in the past but not my generation that’s for sure. Sex is just too easy to get to have to “trick” girls these days.

mgtow_1 · 2018-01-04T23:32:22+00:00

It's BS women like casual sex just as much as men. The difference is men can have casual sex with a woman that is 3-4 notches below him and still enjoy it. Most women can't. They shoot for hot 8+ guys because they have the best chance at enjoying the sex with those guys.

TrueRustyShackleford · 2018-01-05T00:16:48+00:00

This is a problem with her expectations. It is wrong for her to expect sex that happens so soon to have any bearing on whether or not a relationship will follow. It's also unreasonable of her to be very upset about some guy she just met or to expect the guy to care much about her.

If she doesn't want to have casual sex she simply needs to go on some dates first and not accept vague answers when she asks for commitment.

I'm pretty sure most of the time women complain about deception they knew full well they were hoping to use sex to get a guy who's out of her league to commit to her. It's never the most desirable women you hear complaining about or who have casual sex against their will in the first place.

TheBookOfSeil · 2018-01-05T01:57:37+00:00

Interactions dealing with selling, whether it be products or yourself, always deal with manipulation in some way, shape or form. The objective is to get them to buy or be interested in a product (you) that may not be interesting to them, so that usually involves you making them feel a certain way about the product (you) in order to get them interested in buying it.

Now, some people aren't going to be as forthcoming as others who would simply say "I'm not interested/ Leave me alone/ F*** off, m8" so they'll listen to you talk and then say "Sorry" later on. However, there are some very good salesman out there that have plenty of experience selling (themselves) so they can genuinely cause other people to become interested in buying.

I understand that they are still "deciding" to buy, but that usually comes with some "fluffing up" of the product in their minds to make it appear nicer to them, so would that be manipulation or not?

larrythetomato · 2018-01-05T06:43:26+00:00

Why do people think women are being tricked/manipulated into casual sex?

Women say thinks like "one moment he struck up a conversation, and another we were leaving his apartment" because it is hot. They like to put up their defences and have their man know the difference between 'no that means yes' and 'no that means no'.

Autists take what they say at face value, which is really convenient for women since they can say 'no' and that gets rid of them.

Entropy-7 · 2018-01-05T09:05:01+00:00

Women have a game. If you step outside their game then you are being "manipulative" or some bullshit.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2018-01-05T13:42:18+00:00

IMO she might be super drunk they don't talk she's unaware of her surroundings and he takes her by the hand and proceeds to bring her to sex location while she is barely coherent. That's kind of tricking there would be no sex if he didn't approach and escelate immediately , she was just going with the flow

GridReXX · 2018-01-05T04:22:42+00:00

Because a lot of women were at worst tricked or lied to about intentions.

At the other end of the spectrum many women are finessed into it. Even many of the promiscuous women don’t go out “seeking casual sex.” So they were seduced into it. Not tricked.

Finally, it’s because men discuss casual sex in terms of “getting laid” or “pumping or dumping” or “gaming women” or quite literally “tricking women into sex.”

Rick Ross had a whole song about drugging her drink.

T Payne has a song called “buy you a drink” which is literally about getting a woman tipsy enough that she’s more inclined to fuck.

🤷🏽‍♀️ y’all tricksy when it comes to sex.

Just like you say women are when it comes to marriage or relationships or “beta orbiters” or whatever.

whichbladeN · 2018-01-04T22:21:24+00:00

Who actually tells a stranger to leave? That's a bit of a faux pas.

Title	Why do people think women are being tricked/manipulated into casual sex?
Author	RageQuitNoRespawn
Upvotes	43
Comments	126
Date	January 4, 2018 9:46 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7o681e/why_do_people_think_women_are_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-people-think-women-are-being.264146 https://theredarchive.com/post/264146

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