LTR Trickle Truthed me about cheating

Evrathiel · 2017-10-24T13:54:16+00:00

My two cents, she's either planning to, or has strong impulses to cheat on you right now and she's trying to shed her guilt. As for your question, of course dumping isn't the only option, you can always go for demotion.

nastynickdr · 2017-10-24T11:18:46+00:00

Once a cheater always a cheater right?

Very likely. There will be some time that she will get "bored", you didnt give her enough attention, "im not haaaaaaaaaaaaaappy!", etc, and as we know, then it only takes the right Chad at the right time saying the correct words. You can do better. This is the kind of girl I refer to as "bored bitch": you have to keep her "entertained" 100% of the time, giving her highs and lows, push and pull, or she gets bored and sits on another cock. I bet she has no hobbies, other than "laughing, traveling and going out with my gurlssssss". Not viable for long term, fine for plate.

See how she is hamstering that it wasnt her fault. If there was ANY chance of you giving a shot at this, she should be completely admitting that it was completely HER fault, that she was a shitty person for doing it and she regrets it completely. But of course shes a woman, she wont take responsability for her acts.

Also, is she going on GNOs with slutty friends? Dude... Have some self respect. Shes already bored. Why would she prefer grinding her ass and tits on other guys instead of being with you? Hint: she has zero fear of losing you and doesnt respect you. She should be the one wondering "what is my hot stud of a boyfriend doing alone at a saturday evening while im here, what if some bitch makes a move on him and steals him from me!". Think for yourself, are you OK with that? Do you value your commitment so low like that? You have to value yourself, value your commitment, or no one will.

Aaren_Augustine · 2017-10-24T10:59:27+00:00

I've had three women at work admit the same thing. AWALT doesn't necessarily mean they'll do it to you. Doesn't mean they won't.

Then they'll tell you about the branch swinging that happened. You'll get the indirect comments that are putting her in a light a politician will use when he got caught with his hand in the pussy jar.

You'll see some of that on MRP as well. Its very common. Its a feature with women in general. This is why you know how to pass shit and comfort tests. This is why you have your mental point of origin and develop frame.

THIS IS WHY YOU SET BOUNDERIES IN YOUR LTR.

Cue Girls Night Out this weekend.

"Women I give my commitment to don't go to clubs." Broken record.

Its not a no, it's not a yes. its consequence. Should be an easy choice for her. Just be prepared to ghost if she goes.

clint_bronson · 2017-10-24T10:52:17+00:00

Oh look another LTR going to a girls night out... You know it, I know it, everbody knows it.

Act accordingly.

fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck- · 2017-10-24T13:32:32+00:00

This girl has “that guy,” the one she fucks in between boyfriends or even just fucks because they do dirtier shit than she even does with you.

They will always fuck.

P.S. EVERY cheater says, “Next time I’ll end it first” BEFORE they cheat.

MattyAnon · 2017-10-24T11:36:45+00:00

She hasn't cheated yet.

All women will cheat at some point, most have cheated in the past.

She's not yours, it's just your turn.

If this bothers you this much, maybe LTR's are not for you. And they don't have to be. Why should you invest everything in someone who responds to niceness with asexuality? ("feels like a brother").

I'm saying either make your peace with the fact that cheating might happen, or don't do LTR's.

TakeEverything · 2017-10-24T11:31:56+00:00

There are a large number of red flags here. You should have broken up with her already.

ReddJive · 2017-10-24T12:33:12+00:00

Your problem isn't her cheating slutty past.

Your problem is how you are dealing with it.

bobtheseal · 2017-10-24T13:01:54+00:00

Sounds like shes deployed some sort of dred level on you to either buck up or she will take her pussy somewhere else.

Becareful with this woman..

ReddingtonsShitList · 2017-10-24T14:14:49+00:00

I can't outright tell her not to go out<

Yes you can. You can set the boundary and if she ignores it or violates it then you show her the door.

You are not engaged. You are not married. Set this boundary and she will either have some new respect for you or you next her.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2017-10-24T18:33:01+00:00

So why is she bringing this shit up now?

And how old are you and how old is she?

She actually said "I've only cheated once"

"I fucked one other guy a lot...ok probably more than one but I'm only admitting to one."

Whisper · 2017-10-24T21:32:33+00:00

Do you think she told you this just because?

She is testing your attitude about cheating. To see if you will forgive her when she does it.

Not if.

ggpurehope · 2017-10-24T11:41:05+00:00

It's hard to end I know, so start emotionally distancing yourself to prepare for bad times. Once a killer, always a killer. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

thinksammich_ · 2017-10-25T02:26:29+00:00

She has essentially told you she can comfortably be a rogue. She is decent with deception and capable of doing bad things. The thing about bad things is they only get easier with experience. If they're enjoyable in any way, they also become harder to avoid.

I've NEVER been with a girl who was willing to cheat and also capable of putting that on hold for the guy they were dating at any given time. Push the right buttons and they will cheat with you every time. Even when they're with really high value guys, 100K+ a year guys I have had no problem getting women to cheat.

No reason trying to find the needle in a haystack of why she decided to reveal this shit to you. Ask yourself why you're willing to put up with this trouble? Is this kind of person really LTR material?

SovereignSoul76 · 2017-10-24T14:49:09+00:00

"Once a cheater always a cheater right?"

Maybe. I dunno. Sounds like a perfect example of "Once a liar, always a liar" though. Bitch is full of shit. "Turns out it was actually 3-4 times"....HA! Hey buddy, wanna buy a bridge?

She is incapable of being honest with herself. "... saying shes a better person" what the fuck is that based on? We all know the answer: that's her current Feelz.

quicklogaccount · 2017-10-24T15:47:54+00:00

Once a cheater always a cheater right?

Nope. People learn.

They met up roughly around 3-4 times behind this poor guy's back. Her excuse being "my partner started feeling like a brother to me"

On a rule of thumb cheaters tell or trickle truth to ease the guilt, but she won't tell because of that, her hamster could handle it then and it can handle it now. She might tell because she developed some sense of morality or trusts herself enough to be able to overcome the consequential dumping (this inability is why she never told him).
BUT guilt isn't the only tell away of cheaters, there are others. You can trust that she'll give other cues. Lies (lies are easy to catch, most people suck hard on them), obsession about your schedule, defensiveness, sudden and uncalled change of behaviors, among others.

But alcohol + impulses.

Yep. That's one way for it to happen. Another is a skilled player being interested and you being absent.

Is dump the only option here?

Ok. For YOU, it is. Here's the thing.
The answer for "will she cheat?" can't have any weight on whether you commit to a chick or not. That answer is yes, to every woman, if there's a stranger with enough sum of patience, game and attraction.
The thing that should account for you to commit to a chick is her having the potential to make up for all the pussy you won't be fucking. This is a continuous thing, she has to be able to make up for you not banging one new gal a (day/week/month/year, you know you).
If she managed that much and eventually cheats, well, lame, but you haven't really lost anything. You'll handle it however you feel you must, and you must be always capable of that. You need to always be capable of leaving, and cheating isn't the only bad a woman can do to her partner.

Now, you seem to be basing your relationship with her on somewhat ethereal values, monogamy mainly. Monogamy harms you a lot more than it harms her man, a chick's capacity to monogamy isn't a reason to commit to her and her incapacity to it still qualifies her as a pretty decent plate. The only shit that really harms you is being a cuck and don't worry, you'll have to accept and embrace this role, you won't be fooled into it (if you stick to RP).

Let this one go, go fuck around and get yourself a chick that, if you find out she fucked up, whichever the fuck up was, you won't flicker about all the time you lost but just let go and think about all the new pussy. (Or about how much you'll enjoy her efforts to make up for the fuck up)

NightwingTRP · 2017-10-24T16:06:57+00:00

Is dump the only option here?

Yes, regardless of what you do it looks like she's set herself up to go sleep with another guy this weekend. Time for you to go sleep with another girl. Unless you can't... in which case you now have the explanation why she wants to go sleep with another guy instead of you.

900PercentSaltIntake · 2017-10-24T16:54:12+00:00

Girls Night Out this weekend

lol

GreatMenderTeapill · 2017-10-24T15:44:40+00:00

Random question... is your girlfriend in this picture and if so, which one is she?

Herdsengineers · 2017-10-24T15:52:39+00:00

Plan something like a guy's night out. Make sure she knows there will be other women in the environment. Inspire a little dread.

You can do subtle things to let her know that if she cheats, you can replace her easily enough because you're High SMV. If she's into you, values your High SMV, and doesn't want to be nexted, then dread will motivate her to keep herself in line.

chasebandz01 · 2017-10-24T23:41:53+00:00

she sounds like a piece of shit. i'd plate her

Rollo-Tomassi · 2017-10-26T15:41:49+00:00

Women's hindbrains preplan things like this. This is why your mate guarding instinct is kicking in. If a woman has it decided in her head that she's going to cheat on you, she's gonna 'cheat' on you.

All you have to do is decide what your own behavior is going to be and it looks like you already know know what you need to do. If she sees you as her Beta Bucks provider fall back guy I'd suggest not even considering her for a FWB. You'll be the one she resorts to when she "accidentally" gets pregnant with "your kid" when she comes back from her GNO.

2comment · 2017-10-25T05:48:53+00:00

Put a fork in it, this LTR is done in any case. You don’t trust her and for good reason. Explicitly setting boundaries now is either give her a challenge to clandestinely circumvent or just be another reason on the list why cheating on you is justified. The boundaries are more for you anyway, to keep yourself true to your own principles when your will is weak after she crossed them.

Keep her around or don’t — that’s not for us to decide; it’s your dick and your own business where you stick it. But mentally exit this relationship and move back onto the prowl.

TheDreadnought1 · 2017-10-24T15:19:20+00:00

Dude, even if she is now reformed (which she isn't), even if she would never cheat on you (which she would and will), just the prospect of her cheating is terrifying you and leaving you angry and that's why you should leave. I can relate to that. It means you aren't ready for a LTR, specially a LTR with a ex(lol)-slut.

I wouldn't recommend demote either, because emotional attachment. Just ghost her and work on yourself, fuck some random women, up your value and absorve AWALT so you can be less desperate at the idea of being cheated on. And/or find a less slooty GF. Cheated on the past several times and does GNOs with a post wall resented bitch? NEXT

DubbleFUPAwitCheez · 2017-10-24T16:07:45+00:00

One thing I personally try to keep in mind is, the more compromises you make with your own feelings on something, the deeper the hook goes and the more it hurts when it gets ripped out. It will make any rebound from this situation that much harder.

To put it bluntly, you're not marrying this chick right? I would just start making moves on other girls and then break up with her.

RedwallAllratuRatbar · 2017-10-24T17:01:10+00:00

This goes to unpopular advice trash bin, but despite learning about guys learning things and banging girls right and left, one thing I learned is to NEVER end any relationship/plate. At least not verbaly. You want them to stay as long as possible, with reasonably small effort. You may be disgusted with some chick one day, then regret dissing her when you are forced to go to shitty clubs to find replacement. To my knowledge, girls only out is just codename for party without you. 0 parties without you are allowed in any relationships. Keep her, but don't marry her

dirtygarbage1974 · 2017-10-24T17:05:12+00:00

No way man. People can learn from their mistakes. That all sounds very reasonable. AWALT is true. Every woman has a capacity to cheat. You've seen it first hand. Being unhappy in a 6 year relationship with way out makes sense. Is she unhappy with you now? If not don't worry about it.

drqxx · 2017-10-24T18:11:08+00:00

Be the prize or be replaced.

I have two LTR we are altogether. I can't allow a crack to show. A moment of weakness or they will toss me to the curb.

Be the prize!

[deleted] · 2017-10-24T19:25:56+00:00

Thots gonna Thot.

[deleted] · 2017-10-24T19:31:51+00:00

Ghost this unfaithful, mentally diseased whore

LordThunderbolt · 2017-10-24T19:40:35+00:00

Nexting is the name of the game ----->

Big_Daddy_PDX · 2017-10-24T19:56:38+00:00

It’s like you are able to identify all the problems and actions but you’re still acting clueless. Why don’t you make a decision instead of asking us?

oldslut · 2017-10-24T20:45:43+00:00

i hope you made great big plans with the boys this weekend

topapito · 2017-10-24T21:21:26+00:00

She's admitted in the past (it was roughly 10 years ago) that she had cheated on a long term partner because she was unsatisfied with him.

Question. Why are you even having this conversation? Do you really believe she is going to tell you any truth? Women will only tell you what they believe you need to hear. They do not offer information that they believe may hurt them. There is a reason for each and every bit of info you get from a woman, and it is all meant to set up a theme. A show. A presence.

You are acting on garbage information. People, men, women, they all fuck, and yes, they even do it with other people. Not everyone is waiting around to see whether they are going to disappoint you if they fuck.

It is the quality of the exchange you have in your relationship you should be worried about. Not whether she fucked someone else or cheated or didn't. Who gives a fuck? Anyone telling me they have never cheated gets a hearty laugh from me.

Everyone has cheated one way or another. We are humans, not fucking robots. Learn to live with the fact that your woman has seen, felt, been fucked by other dicks. The circumstances don't matter. And then enjoy yourself with her for as long as you can.

When your turn runs out, you will be dismissed. You should have been scouting your next hit before then. Never stop scouting hits. Worry about you. Not her.

huge_gap · 2017-10-24T23:29:38+00:00

Yeah major red flag. She's testing you to see how you react. Either she is dreading you to marry her "we were together six years and I didn't know what to do" or she cheated/plans to cheat on you and is building up to it. Either way don't ltr this ho

DiggerClam · 2017-10-25T10:28:32+00:00

Move on dude.

TxnyMontana · 2017-10-26T02:34:39+00:00

Men, don't get paranoid. It seems like you're not having a good time with this but mostly because you're taking too much information from TRP and taking it directly to your case. It's not like this. AskTRP is like google for symptoms: you will always have cancer there. Use it but don't over react.

The best response here is the one from /u/MattyAnon . At some point, every girl will cheat. I don't think your girl did yet, but it doesn't matter at this point.

Once a cheater always a cheater? not exactly. Cheating is not something that happens once and then, eventually will happen again. Actually it could never happen, but that's not the best outcome.

Supose your girl will cheat on you (at some point she might) so, what will you do?

you break up with her because she don't want to be a cuck? that's not a good move
control her everytime to guarantee she's not cheating? that's not a chill way to live

My personal view? let her do whatever she wants. Yes, my GF may be cheating on me right now, but I could never know it. As long as she is not showing obvious signals, she's not being bitchy and she's fucking with me and doing the chores, I dont give a fuck. And you should be doing the same.

PS: Lift

PurpleDrank88 · 2017-12-12T01:21:57+00:00

Kind of an aside and not really answering your question (sorry), but I just wanted to note that this "once a cheater always a cheater" line doesn't really make as much sense in the context of TRP. The whole point of AWALT is that most women will cheat under the right (i.e. hypergamous) circumstances. If you are LTRing a girl, you should be accepting that there is a chance she will cheat on you unless your SMV is high enough to prevent it, and being prepared to dump her and be comfortable being on your own when it happens.

imn0tg00d · 2017-10-25T02:02:18+00:00

Man you guys are freaking out over little things. Who cares if she cheats, she was never yours, it was only your turn. You guys gotta learn to be independent.

Title	LTR Trickle Truthed me about cheating
Author	curvvthrow
Upvotes	41
Comments	64
Date	October 24, 2017 10:47 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/78exc4/ltr_trickle_truthed_me_about_cheating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-trickle-truthed-me-about-cheating.521 https://theredarchive.com/post/521

Comments

Be the prize or be replaced.

Be the prize!