Get a lawyer before sex: 27 precautions before risking sex with a woman (check ID; prove she was sober & never withdrew consent; maintain proof on file for years; watch your sperm to prevent artificial insemination, ...)

2010-10-04T17:46:47+00:00

"Hi I'm Mike" "Hi, I'm Sara" "So do you come here often?" "Maybe once a month. You?" "Occasionally. Hey can I see your ID?" "What? fuck off creepy stalker"

BaseballGuyCAA · 2010-10-04T18:06:33+00:00

Saying that celibacy is the answer is just as dumb as saying that the chance of pregnancy also justifies living a chaste life.

At the end of the day, you will never be 100% safe. If you use birth control, you can enjoy sex with a significantly lower risk factor. Similarly, you can significantly lower your risk of getting railroaded with one simple step: Don't stick your dick in crazy.

lawfairy · 2010-10-04T23:29:30+00:00

Cute, but you could also do one for women talking about all the things you need to do to prevent yourself from being raped (short version: you can't, but the closest you can get is never to leave your well-guarded, highly secure home). Remember, while you guys get the constant worry of being accused of assault, we get to deal with being told it's irresponsible to dress a certain way at a certain time of night, and that if we drink alcohol we're just asking to be raped, etc.

Also, the list seems to be based on the laws in Brazil, which from what I understand has much more of a machismo culture than the US (although the author does add a bit of info about US and other countries' laws) (I focus on the US since that's where I live). It makes sense to me that Brazil might have laws that victimize men when it comes to sex, since machismo culture tends to have this notion that men are always the initiators, aggressors, etc., and women are wilting flowers that need to be protected from them.

unazismall · 2010-10-04T16:50:11+00:00

This should be cross posted to seddit. It seems like a good routine for getting laid.

s0nicfreak · 2010-10-04T19:14:18+00:00

You could have sex only with a woman you know and trust. But that's crazy.

soccernamlak · 2010-10-04T18:53:07+00:00

All of this reminds me of an excellent video called "Consent." Youtube Link

It's about 6 minutes, but worth the watch.

Cloberella · 2010-10-04T18:26:05+00:00

Easiest way to avoid all this? Don't stick your dick in crazy.

justonecomment · 2010-10-04T19:05:04+00:00

This article makes me very sad. :(

Also I've added this article for use during "The Talk" with my kids.

JayTS · 2010-10-04T16:40:15+00:00

This is the only reason I haven't had sex in almost a year. I just can't afford the legal advice. If I just had a good lawyer, I'd be beating the women off with a stick.

cowman809 · 2010-10-04T20:46:54+00:00

Dave Chappelle did a skit on this

Realworld · 2010-10-05T03:31:26+00:00

OP is an obvious exaggeration for impact, but there are some worthwhile precautions you can take: 1 Get a vasectomy early and single, and refuse to reverse it. 2 Refuse marriage requests. 3 Don't have sex with women that aren't rational, logical and considerate.

This has served me well with a long, full, and varied sex life. I've never needed to go more than 2 months before finding the next relationship, and that's mostly to recover and stabilize before starting again.

I try to avoid short flings; it's not fair to your partner.

unbibium · 2010-10-04T18:10:07+00:00

I'm actually almost this paranoid.

In reality, there are probably laws out there that make it just as legally dangerous to buy groceries, pick your nose, or spend a weekend in Fresno.

And yet, there are people out there who do the whole pump-her-and-dump-her maneuver, sleep with lots of women, break ALL of their hearts, and don't face any consequences. Something doesn't add up.

ghostchamber · 2010-10-04T23:10:50+00:00

Not worth it. I'd rather get laid and take the risk. No sense in living life paranoid.

2010-10-04T20:30:41+00:00

This "legally safe sex" sounds a lot more like paranoia and massive trust issues with women than protecting yourself from consequences. Of course, it's not like you'd be getting laid all that much if you want DNA tests, blood tests, psychological tests, etc. before getting it on.

HarryMcDowell · 2010-10-04T19:13:49+00:00

Way to ruin college, Reddit.

atheos · 2010-10-04T15:28:48+00:00

Wow this website makes it sound so...extreme. That said i do have a pre-nup and i will make sure to test any resulting babies...i trust my wife see but not the human condition. :)

MariaAntonia · 2010-10-04T14:55:52+00:00

Celibacy is the answer.

Sex with a woman has too many dangers.

The article shows, that marriage, homosexual sex, and, tongue in cheek, sex toys, and masturbation are risky too.

mutatedpuppy · 2010-10-04T18:25:28+00:00

Jesus guys... you're beyond paranoid. You're seeing threats that aren't there. Sure you should be careful, but who has sex with a woman who they aren't in a relationship with anyway?

alhuzzete · 2010-10-04T15:23:37+00:00

right celibacy is the answer for that problem...

UnreachablePaul · 2010-10-04T22:43:58+00:00

Lesson no #1:

Don't spill your semen on a pavement. As flies can inseminate a bunch of homeless women.

nugdeez · 2010-10-04T15:51:23+00:00

Talk about a moment killer...

2010-10-04T19:51:15+00:00

Shame Shame

2010-10-05T05:10:06+00:00

never leave your id

alhuzzete · 2010-10-07T06:56:57+00:00

hey like the video attached these article.. i really dont think its silly but its better to be safe, its better to have lawyer thant to go to jail.. better to spend money for lawsuit than spending years to jail...

obsidian468 · 2010-10-04T20:04:24+00:00

While this article is overly paranoid and generally exaggerated to the point of being stupid, it does have some valid points.

A former coworker was let go after telling his subordinate that her showing off her thong at work was inappropriate. She filed sexual harassment charges, and he lost his job over it. As far as I know, there was never any sort of physical contact between the two, and the manager was simply trying to run a respectable workplace by advising against inappropriate clothing. This was nearly two years ago, and it's still in the courts.

timschmidt · 2010-10-05T02:15:30+00:00

Reasons 30 to 57 why fapping to porn is better than women.

mightycow · 2010-10-05T05:22:29+00:00

Not to worry. Anyone this paranoid won't be getting sex without paying for it.

toastyghost · 2010-10-05T02:51:26+00:00

yeah, or just abstain. which is what any guy who carries around a 27-point pre-sex legal checklist is going to be doing anyway.

2010-10-05T03:38:42+00:00

Maybe I'll just blow my brains out if I get hit with any of these.

2010-10-05T15:49:23+00:00

After reading this I have realized that I have frequently been the victim of rape. My last girlfriend must have raped me at least 50 times. I now feel violated.

MariaAntonia · 2010-10-04T17:06:19+00:00

This is interesting. This got 9 upvotes, 0 downvotes. Then it made it on the frontpage of reddit where it is an eyesore to feminists. then it got 8 more upvotes and 6 downvotes. It gets about equal number of upvotes and downvotes.

Why would anyone downvote this, except for political reasons?

ConfirmedCynic · 2010-10-05T01:31:19+00:00

Have women ever considered that when they go about with their ass cheeks on display and their low-rise jeans showing skin that had to have the pubic hair removed to seem decent and their breasts covered in the flimsiest scraps allowable that they are sexually harrassing men?

Because you can be 100% sure a man wouldn't get away with a similar display in the workplace.

Liverotto · 2010-10-04T21:04:56+00:00

Rent instead of buying.

kloo2yoo · 2010-10-04T18:41:37+00:00

strong potd candidate

Kuonji · 2010-10-04T22:09:53+00:00

Do you know how they say rape is not about sex, it's about control? It's actually about both. Control of a woman by a man to exert his power over her. (Male on female rape)

Do you know what all other sexual activity is? It's control a woman has over a man to show her power. There's an ungodly amount of power today's modern woman has in sex.

petit_mal · 2010-10-04T22:20:39+00:00

mariaantonia? you're a WOMAN and you posted this?!!!

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