I wanted to share some gems of the night for the newer members who are still refining their picker, in the hopes that these real life examples might be helpful.

I ubered solo to the party and ended up running into a bunch of people I knew from a social circle I was much more active in several years ago. One of them, let’s call him Peepaw (for reasons that will become clear later), is a guy I briefly dated. It was an odd and brief experience, we went out maybe 4 times, kissed like once, and then he had a panic attack about commitment (which I had never brought up nor was even interested in). After he freaked and told me we shouldn’t see each other anymore, I come to find out he then immediately hooked back up with his MUCH younger “on again off again” pickme girlfriend who I’ll call Lil Baby Sex Worker (or LBSW for short). I lost a ton of respect for Peepaw because while we were dating, he shit talked LBSW so badly and then basically immediately moved her into his new home. Make it make sense. 🤷‍♀️

Somehow those two disordered characters ended up hanging out around the table that my HVM friend of 20 years Nick and I had claimed, along with a guy I just met that night who was being pretty flirty with me. This guy, Rob,seemed really cool at first - friendly, attractive, masculine. But in the end he showed his ass and dropped a bunch of red flags and the pickme ended up being an excellent vetting tool or lens for me. A couple things happened to open my eyes…

  • The first red flag happened when this married woman I vaguely know came up to Rob and basically threw herself on him and started to act hypersexual with him, preening and pawing at him. And he reciprocated, saying suggestive shit right back. It gave me skeevy polyamorous vibes and felt disrespectful. 🚩

  • At one point he went and got himself a drink but didn’t offer me one? Broke? Classless? 🤷‍♀️ 🚩

  • The next red flag happened when LBSW needlessly outed herself to the whole table as being a sex worker. No one was even asking. But Rob stupidly said: “Oh! I knew I liked you the minute I saw you!”. Totally gross and embarrassing for both parties. Completely inappropriate and pornsick. I went from early in the evening being pretty sure I would give him my contact info and accept a date from him to that being 100% out of the question. 🚩

  • At this point I was just watching the shitshow unfold for entertainment’s sake and had no stake or investment in how these individuals decided to embarrass themselves next. LBSW had more pickmeism to pull out. I was trying to guide the convo away from sex work because it was super boring. I asked her if she was using her degree at all and she pulled out an Instagram “art portfolio” that consisted of pics of her in underwear and made sure all the men looked at it. Que gross oogling by Rob, more pornsickness… 🚩

So good ole Rob was eliminated but the circus didn’t end there! LBSW decided to tell the story of how her BDSM pimp screwed her over on taxes and how she had to get Peepaw’s help. Now, Peepaw’s hair is greying and thinning and he is 20 years older than LBSW and they have been dating for 10 years! She goes on to tell us she went to Peepaw and said in a porno vocal fry baby voice: “Daddy! Can you help me figure out what is going on with my taxes? I just don’t understand, Daddyyyyyyyy!”. I just stared and couldn’t stop gawking at grotesque show before me. I honestly felt like a greater power had pulled back a curtain and showed me the root of all fuckery, and the bullets I dodged.

I can truly say that I have never been more delighted to go home alone to my beautiful scrote-free house. When I unlocked my front door, I seriously felt like I won the evening’s prize. I drank a celebratory glass of champagne as a nightcap and had a midnight home cooked meal. It was perfect! 😂

The Handbook works.