[Q4W] Have any of you experienced guys who use dating coach tactics on you recently?

ididntwanttoexist · 2021-12-29T07:19:08+00:00

Nothing IRL, but I've received many awkward negging/bait-style opening messages with obvious attempts to take me down a peg while still expressing obvious interest online. Copypastad lines were quite common back in the peak PUA years you mentioned. I never respond to any of them. On platforms where there is open messaging rather than just swiping apps, they sometimes get mad that the tactic doesn't work, and send multiple follow-up messages that usually devolves into straight up insults, or occasionally try to do the "tehe don't be so uptight I was only pretending to be an asshole" thing when they realize it's not working, and try to walk it back and talk to me normally. It's generally funny to see how long they keep going and get progressively more enraged, all while getting no response out of me at all. I guess they missed the parts about stoicism and holding frame.

hermetickingdom3 · 2021-12-29T06:24:08+00:00

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marshmallowmeringue · 2021-12-29T08:17:01+00:00

Yes, at work. I’m an RN. I’d just had an emotionally difficult situation with a patient and was washing my hands before setting off to my next task. A male porter who had come to transfer a patient approached me and started negging me, telling me I looked miserable and if I actually tried smiling people might notice that I’m pretty. He asked me to smile for him to show him I’d stop being miserable, or he wouldn’t take me out on a date. I just looked at home and told him no, I’m not interested, and I’m married. He laughed and said that if I wanted a man who could make me smile, I’d know what was good for me and go out with him instead. I walked away after that. It was really weird and uncomfortable.

livs4dietdrpepper · 2021-12-29T07:03:32+00:00

I had a guy ask to read my palm and spent like 5 minutes touching mine doing a fake reading, I played along cause he bought me a drink and it was harmless enough but then he later came clean it was a PUA technique he learned, apparently the touching in the sensitive area is supposed to make some kind of positive response, this was pretty harmless but I found it interesting

NotTheBestMoment · 2021-12-29T07:26:21+00:00

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Initial_Chemical7121 · 2021-12-29T06:21:21+00:00

I’ve had a few guys that seemed oddly rehearsed or not taking no for an answer, almost bargaining for my attention. I either tell them I have a boyfriend or just say absolutely nothing and keep walking or whatever I was doing.

DreamsOfWishes · 2021-12-29T07:06:11+00:00

"be persistent" "be confident" "hold your frame"

Yes, unfortunately I've encountered those...

JoanGreenCat · 2021-12-29T10:23:26+00:00

"be persistent" - a lot of guys just keep on harassing women and don't accept any form of rejection or no interest.

Negging - I'm just so tired of this. Why would anyone start a conversation with a stranger with negging and usually not in a funny way. It's such a huge turn off.

copy paste pick up lines are a terrible conversation starter. This is pretty common on dating apps. Most of the guys I had a match with would just use some dumb pick up line. Literally "hi, how are you?" is easiest way to start a conversation but it seems like it's forbidden on dating apps.

RabbitNRaccoon · 2021-12-29T07:01:57+00:00

I've seen game being used both online and in person. It's cringy AF. It seems out of character AF. The dudes don't have the ability to apply it in an authentic way. And it feels very rehearsed and just puts you off.

Kizka · 2021-12-29T10:53:36+00:00

No, I don't think stuff like that is common in Germany, culturally such behaviour would be a no go. If anything, guys with e.g. turkish background would act more aggressive, but they don't need any PUA artist for that.

Pitiful-Fisherman3 · 2021-12-29T06:07:06+00:00

yes i’ve noticed a lot of seemingly rehearsed pickup techniques used on me at the grocery store - i mainly respond with disinterest as i’m busy and also a lesbian not wanting to converse with a stranger while holding a million things

errrright · 2021-12-29T06:50:43+00:00

Before I met my boyfriend, yes - it happened several times. Being pursued by a PUA is an absolute nuisance. The negging, the games, the rehearsed nature of it all - yuck, immediately no. Even if I was polite, it always seemed like they would go out of their way to make me feel shitty when rejecting them.

NarniaFox · 2021-12-29T06:04:32+00:00

A few years ago a bunch of high schoolers tried to get my number. I'm not sure why they decided that approaching me one by one was a great idea. In 30 minutes I got asked ~5 times I think and if the first time it was a surprise, the 5th was just hilarious. Especially when I asked the last one how old he was - he was 16 and told him that I'm 21. His facial expression changed really fast.

When I still was working with small study groups, there were a few students and some older men who thought that I was playing hard to get. I'm not sure that some of them were using PUA stuff, but some of them were very stubborn and dumb. They were one of the reasons why I left that language school.

BlockedAgainIGuess · 2021-12-29T15:47:20+00:00

Not recently, but around 2014 I encountered a guy with frosted tips, the first thing he said to me he liked my teeth, and later he (very hilariously) tried to hypnotize me into anal. The frosted tips and hypnotism square with PUA tactics I’ve heard about. No idea what the teeth thing was about. An attempted neg? Not sure

He did not succeed, obviously

Iluvalmonds83 · 2021-12-29T16:34:09+00:00

This happened probably about a year ago, I was waiting in line at Walmart and a young guy passed me then circled back to try hitting on me. Told him no, I’m married (ring obviously out in the open), then he tries to get my instagram because he “wants to get to know me as a friend “. Refuse again, then he whips out a pair of old dingy looking car keys and tells me he’ll give me his BMW if I go on a date with him. Honestly suspect that he was recording me or something to try to see if I’d act like some gold digger . There’s no way he could honestly think that tactic would work.

wtknight · 2021-12-29T12:31:11+00:00

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nemporisso · 2021-12-29T06:27:48+00:00

Earlier this year. Still smashed, idk what he thought he did lol

TodTheRod01 · 2021-12-30T09:34:10+00:00

Im not encouraging PUA tactics or anything...but women have it easy in this realm...sit back look pretty and let men approach....

Guys have to learn some way some how, how to see signs from women, how to approach women, things to say/ask vs what not do....how to plan dates...and for some this doesn't come naturally or they didnt get to go through an awkward high school phase to figure it out...so as a guy you HAVE to figure this shit out somehow...whats so wrong with that?

gimpgirl555 · 2021-12-29T06:38:34+00:00

Have any of you experienced something to this degree lately and if so, how did you respond?

Yes, the Academic in my social circle is playing the long game. I think this is something that men used to do when grandpa was young.

Guys my age and younger - nope.

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shockedpikachu123 · 2021-12-29T17:25:06+00:00

Before I knew what negging was, I would reply back to those messages. Now it’s easy to spot and I don’t reply at all. Any sort of compliment followed by a “but” backhanded compliant

AnonRb6 · 2021-12-29T18:46:33+00:00

I applied a lot of TRP teaching that made me successful.

You can't base off one experience of your friend being over the top consistent/nagging in a clearly dis-interested poor women.

midwestufohunter · 2021-12-29T20:30:20+00:00

Its hard to know unless we follow dating coaches to see what they are saying? wanna give us a tl;dr?

SyllabubQuiet2482 · 2021-12-31T10:34:59+00:00

In the past yes and usually shut them down by not giving any reaction. But if you’re ugly, whatever tactic you’ll use on me won’t work. I already decide the guys value, based on his looks, personality, his pat partners, family relationship and his job and him using triangulation and other things won’t make him look more attractive.

Title	[Q4W] Have any of you experienced guys who use dating coach tactics on you recently?
Author	hermetickingdom3
Upvotes	29
Comments	98
Date	December 29, 2021 5:56 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rr0s8l/q4w_have_any_of_you_experienced_guys_who_use/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-have-any-of-you-experienced-guys-who-use.1090128 https://theredarchive.com/post/1090128

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