Personality becomes more important as you age and it's not because of lack of options

Diabetes9111 · 2022-04-06T19:50:20+00:00

Personality is on the top of the list for me. Life is way too hard and too short to be arguing with your spouse all the time. The problem is that some people feel empty unless they are arguing/fighting all the time, I have a chronic illness so I try to avoid these types the best that I can.

sarkington · 2022-04-06T19:52:35+00:00

It is just age

Maturity

Less hormones

Less self centeredness

Etc

FroAwayLikeIts1899 · 2022-04-07T04:31:18+00:00

Personality is very important for long-term compatibility, for both men and women. Their looks will age, but you're stuck with that personality long-term. Better like it.

The guys on here pretending women's personalities don't matter are also the guys saying "My 8/10 ex who I chose solely on looks cheated on me, so AWALT!! Never trusting females again!!"

Orange_Paisley · 2022-04-06T20:30:47+00:00

I agree with this because you are going to see your long term partner at their best and their worst and you need more than just physical attraction. People (men) on PPD scoff at sense of humor as an attractive quality because they don’t want to be a “dancing monkey” or whatever the metaphor is, but they miss the nuance there. You want someone you can laugh your ass off with, not someone who is performing for your amusement.

Transmigratory · 2022-04-07T01:23:29+00:00

Personally is generally always important. Most of the people who "realize it is important as you age" probably didn't have proper personalities until they were older or properly grew up. And to be blunt, it probably is a lack of options.

If you actually had girlfriends when you were younger, you'd realize that personality is very important when you go beyond the looks aspect.

Also, you're a guy. You don't select partners like a woman does. So you cannot possibly understand how the process goes. You're thinking of it like a guy with boobs, ass and a vagina. And probably listening to what some female media and friends have told you.

Women may very well choose to settle with a guy in their 30s that they would have not looked at in their 20s. Either because he suddenly became more attractive due to his success, or he had a glow up (or both). Or if the woman did not age well, her looks will not be good enough to grab the attention of HVM looking at women 10 years her junior.

Sad_Top1743 · 2022-04-06T20:37:41+00:00

Maybe for you but every other guy always places some value on personality.

Women saying personality matters like it’s a revelation which it is not. Personality has always mattered for relationships, the question is to what degree.

For young women it has been proven to mean far less than what we were lead to believe

kyjolski · 2022-04-06T23:40:05+00:00

I've always valued personality and never subscribed to the 'visual', not past middle school anyway.

Either I grew up fast or this stereotypical meme needs to die.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-04-06T21:21:09+00:00

Women aren’t allowed to be immature and make mistakes and grow up and change and evolve like men are. We’re supposedly as mature as we’re going to get by age 16, and anything we did in college is absolutely what we’d do at age 40 too if we could. And we should be locked into whatever life we chose by 20, better settle down and get married right away, but men should of course play around and “find themselves” until they’re 30, 40, or older before committing. If a woman wants to do the same, she’s a slut riding the “cock carousel.” Of course this is a ridiculous line of reasoning, but it’s what I see thrown around here. Once again, because these men don’t view women as fully human.

Easteuroblondie · 2022-04-07T04:57:02+00:00

it's not dwindling options, it's shifting priorities, emotional maturity, and a better sense of what they actually need (i.e., having worked their bullshit out in their twenties like functional adults do)

like youre saying, things like conversation, empathy, and long term goal alignment become much more important than lusty sex, whether your friends like them, or other fleeting variables

AutoModerator · 2022-04-06T19:38:18+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-04-07T05:19:12+00:00

Fuck, how come even I as a man am starting to really value personality even though men are supposed to be so visual ?

This is normal fam. Attractiveness may be the most important factor, but it gets you in the door. After that personality is still very important.

DontwantaFairOne · 2022-04-09T11:00:36+00:00

Do you find that personality improves with age?

I find most older women to be far more delusional & bitter from past xp.

Obvious-Rise9199 · 2022-04-06T19:52:44+00:00

I was attached / married young. After divorce, I dated a lot. A bit to make up for lost time, a bit to just see what was out there, a bit for fantastic stories to make my friends laugh and a lot out of boredom. When I did find one to settle, I feel like I have seen every red flag there was to see, found I never really had to settle and the utter importance of cooperation and appreciation. And it doesn't hurt she is younger, attractive and kinky. I would not have appreciated all that she was when I was in my 30s but instead looking for those fun stories.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-04-06T20:08:54+00:00

Well yea, because we all age and get uglier. At least pick someone you enjoy being around for the long haul.

Gigamon2014 · 2022-04-06T20:06:18+00:00

It's true. But, ultimately, no point pretending most women in their 30s are in their prime years. Some are but most have declined and matured and realised that there are aspects of masculinity that matter beyond looks or sexual prowess. Problem is it would be like being an athlete and dating nothing but instagram influencers for the bulk of my career. I hit 35, gradually transition out of the league and into modest playing career in Europe alongside a drastic shrinkage in my yearly earnings. Its at this point I realise what a waste of time enticing groupies with my flaunted wealth was and look for a more modest "good girl". Yeah it may be growth but I can't begin to tell you how many women would tell you that's a shitty deal.

It's not something I wholly agree with on either end but i kinda get the reservation.

ex_red_black_piller · 2022-04-07T09:30:32+00:00

Different day, same old argument about how men should wife up women who are "done with chads and bad boys and want something stable now".

We.are.not.dating.retirement.homes.

Deidara-katsu · 2022-04-06T21:34:28+00:00

Cool good for you, one of the craziest things I’ve found is how men assume that being beautiful means you are dumb, just another sign of the oppressive patriarchy

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2022-04-07T02:44:52+00:00

There's this idea that women in their thirties go for guys they would not have gone for in their twenties. This is due to their dwindling options.

I think you misunderstood what they were saying.

Women's requirements change, they don't get less. So yes they can be interested in guys they wouldn't have gone after when they were younger, but that doesn't mean they start dating down or slobs.

Generally it's when women pick stable family oriented men.

Lakeyute · 2022-04-06T21:22:09+00:00

Looks fade. For some people, drastically.

I’m barely 10 years out of high school and the effects of drinking, smoking, partying and life has taken its toll on many of my peers, especially the “cool” who started doing that shit young.

If looks are all you have to rely on, you better pray you have good genes.

Personality is pretty subjective too. Someone can have a great personality that you grow to dislike because it’s not compatible with your own. Just like someone with a toxic personality can attract you because of a desire for different.

Lateralanouncer · 2022-04-07T03:31:05+00:00

idea that women in their thirties go for guys they would not have gone for in their twenties.

Your missing the point as your frame is blue pill. A 30 man that has put in the work is the prize. It dosnt matter what she wants as 30 is statistical the age when the table turn. (Only if he puts in the work). Let say your a 35 year red pill man that has been grinding away for 10 years. Rich as fuck. Body like a Greek God and are a solid six sixes plus male. Top 1-5% And now your ready to settle down to create your legacy and have 3 children. Are you going to wife, Cinderella or tindrala, do you want the below average 32 alpha widow or.. an educated 25 year woman. it's an open ended question. The Point is you can have whatever you want as your the prize.

NoOne_143 · 2022-04-07T04:41:38+00:00

First sentence is true and truer and truest. The more true, the most true, the best true, the supreme true and the godly truth.

twotimegoat · 2022-04-07T08:21:18+00:00

The first one is absolutely true, Obviously women wont go for a top few percent guy beucase they know its impossible to make them "settle" down and they are just wasting time, The top guys just want to have fwb or str with them. These guys who are at the top and still want to do these kind of things are usually the "player"types who are still stuck in highschool. (And im not saying it as a good thing its actually bad that we have so many guys like that)

I also noticed that more men chooses this kind of lifestyle than women

At 20 you have time/energy for these people, many people at 30 just want a normal ltr relationship.

"If my girl at least kind of fit," Lol, thats not just you, thats most guys standards in 2022

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-04-08T00:46:45+00:00

Personality was never "less important" and still isn't. It's just subdued and suppressed in isolated areas like dating apps.

LarryLooxmax · 2022-04-08T23:58:23+00:00

The idea of talking to a hot chick with no brains fills me existential dread.

You are not in the majority there, pal. Those chicks get snatched off the market much quicker than the overweight chick with a heart of gold.

meltedjuice · 2022-04-11T06:13:52+00:00

My standards have risen with my age lmao

YerFetherWudBePrewd · 2022-04-07T07:35:59+00:00

When young, women prioritize one thing, when old and post wall, they prioritize other stuff. That doesn't mean either didn't play in their choosings at all. Just that... It wasn't a priority.

Title	Personality becomes more important as you age and it's not because of lack of options
Author	meteorness123
Upvotes	91
Comments	95
Date	April 6, 2022 7:38 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/txuayn/personality_becomes_more_important_as_you_age_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/personality-becomes-more-important-as-you-age-and.1111003 https://theredarchive.com/post/1111003

Comments