Is there a sexually unappealing type of good looking?

Siukslinis_acc · 2022-11-07T14:05:48+00:00

You know that aesthetic attraction exists? You can be pretty like a painting, but not pretty in a "i wanna copulate with him" way.

You can be aesthetically attractive without being sexually attractive. Sexual attration tends to need more/other things than aesthetic attraction.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-11-07T13:45:52+00:00

That will probably vary from women to women. For example I personally find the "preppy", clean cut, polo shirt and khaki look unappealing, even if the man has classic good looking features, he would not interest me. I would recognize that yes, he has nice hair or the uber blond all American look, and then I would pass him right by without another thought. But other women would snatch that guy right up.

onirroc · 2022-11-07T12:51:28+00:00

My wife and I talked about this in depth after she saw a popular tik tok video about how ugly and hot for men are not opposites. A guy can be good looking but not hot and a guy can be ugly but hot.

It boiled down to 2 things: "good looking" guys also tend to be sort of boring looking. Women like faces that are a bit different, imperfect or rougher looking too.

In the video she gave the example of Henry Cahill being hot as Geralt but not superman because superman is too boring looking.

There's also the personality factor, good looking guys are often seen as being more boring in general, less goofy, overly confident etc. She talked about the hottest time she ever saw Henry Cahill was him being nerdy about building computers in an interview. Passion is hot.

Anyway, that's the theory. My wife also claims to be less sexually attracted to "perfect" looking men compared to "interesting" looking men.

Spiritual-Spell-9351 · 2022-11-07T15:36:43+00:00

I don’t think it’s a one size fits all. A lot of it depends on what the person defines as attractive to them.

For example, I find men with feminine facial features to be handsome. Big eyes, long lashes, soft face. I’m personally turned off by hyper masculine features like strong jaws and squared chins, it just seems intimidating to me.

I feel like if a woman says ‘wow I wish I had your lashes’ or ‘your skin is so clear!’ those aren’t green lights to start flirting. Like you said, she could just be admiring your features.

I think you have to factor in context here and how it’s being said. If a girl says ‘wow I love your lashes!’ but isn’t giving any other signs she finds you attractive, or doesn’t have ‘open’ body language, it’s just a platonic compliment.

If a girl says ‘wow you’re really handsome!’ And can’t stop looking at you or touching you and has made other comments about how much she admires you, it’s safe to say they like you.

I also feel like when we compliment more ‘feminine’ aspects of a man’s appearance, we mean we want those for ourselves. Lashes, brows, and skin are prime examples of such. But saying ‘you look great, you’re good looking, you’re so handsome, you’re so cute’ are indicators of interest.

athlete2biz · 2022-11-07T16:45:54+00:00

You lost me when you said the kpop idols are flawless looking. having abs as a super skinny underweight guy is the equivalent of a fat girl having big boobs, not very impressive.

kokorwqac · 2022-11-07T18:02:02+00:00

It can be, kids and animals are beautiful without being sexually attractive, or plants, inanimate objects, you get it.

That being said there are a lot of women that find kpop dudes or other pretty dudes sexually appealing as i seen a lot of erotic content for them, sexual appeal isn't a one size fits all thing and everyone finds different things sexual(sometimes things they shouldn't sexualize at all.)

januaryphilosopher · 2022-11-07T13:43:40+00:00

I don't think there's a kind of look someone can find good but offputting. I do think that you can find someone good-looking but not attractive as their looks alone aren't enough to attract you.

CimZim · 2022-11-07T12:52:08+00:00

Sure. You've never looked at another person and wished you had X feature or Y body type?

Fun_Push7168 · 2022-11-07T16:05:44+00:00

Umm so you don't understand the basic concept that looks aren't weighted as heavily in what determines attraction for women as they are for men?

Or, like, I could think a 20 yr younger woman or religiously devoted woman is pretty and not want to date her?

She could think you're pretty but awkward as fuck, or too young, too old, not confident , too poor, have other interests etc.

Dude she can't just like your shirt or your hair without you thinking she wants to fuck you?

You are why men get so few compliments.

HolyPenguine · 2022-11-07T13:47:56+00:00

Attraction is a lot more than having individual attractive features.

If you have nice features and are getting compliments from women frequently you’re off to a descent start, the rest is most likely personality. Women look for some very specific things from men that can be hard to understand if you don’t look at things like the female gaze.

I’d argue women have a lot to lose in picking their partners wrong, so loooks are not the highest consideration

2022-11-07T16:28:41+00:00

I used to have hair down to my ass. Women were in awe and got many compliments on it. I am not sure if it actually got me any pussy.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-11-07T19:30:57+00:00

yet the average western woman doesn’t find them sexually appealing

Many do. They are too “pretty” for some women, just as some men don’t find very fit women with visible muscles attractive even if they can admire them objectively.

This is all very subjective and based on one’s personal “type.” There is no good looking but universally sexually unattractive type. But everyone has certain types they’re personally not attracted to.

Aromatic_Shop9033 · 2022-11-07T14:35:49+00:00

High-maintence women.

Idfc how hot you think you are, no way, no how is anyone worth that upkeep and vanity.

kokorwqac · 2022-11-07T16:21:18+00:00

Sometimes I like to browse r/ladyboners and guess if it's a gay man or a woman who made the post.

Women either post pictures of masculine rugged men with big muscles, or pretty boys with slim builds.

Men with pretty faces and big muscles are almost always posted by gay men, and hardly ever women.

2022-11-07T16:28:59+00:00

The average teenage women in the west definitely finds k pop men attractive. Pretty boyband members have covered teenage girls walls for decades.

gavtron96 · 2022-11-07T19:59:39+00:00

You can be objectively good looking and that doesn't mean a woman will be attracted to you sexually. She may well prefer someone objectively less attractive. A woman may just compliment you because women are often just trying to be nice.

learn2earn89 · 2022-11-07T22:14:49+00:00

Yeah! There was a Hispanic guy with tan skin and beautiful green eyes at a Starbucks drive through and I told him he has beautiful eyes. I was not hitting on him. He was in his early 20s and I was 30, I was just complimenting him, nothing else.

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-11-07T15:16:28+00:00

I can see that men of a rainbow of non-Western european ethnicities are handsome and gorgeous and stunning like pieces of art yet I have less than no sexual or ltr interest in them

KombuchaEnema · 2022-11-07T15:51:35+00:00

Ryan Reynolds is good looking (objectively) but I’m personally not attracted to him. I find him repulsive actually.

What is generally considered “good looking” is not the same as “sexually attractive” (to me).

I can acknowledge that the men I’m attracted to are 5/6s, but for me they are 10s. If that makes sense.

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rrrattt · 2022-11-07T15:41:19+00:00

I find a lot of people attractive and aesthetically pleasing, that doesn't mean I'm sexually attracted to them. Lots of people are attractive. But I'm only sexually attracted to someone when I feel some kind of chemistry, a hormone match up of some kind I guess. I don't know how it works, I just try to trust my body.

I used to compliment a lot of people, I try to be careful how I compliment people now because I realized many people take it as flirting lol. But when I compliment people, that alone isn't me flirting. I am pretty obvious when I flirt, probably obnoxiously so. But, I'm sure there are more subtle people who mean it as flirting. I would take it as a yellow light more than a green light. They are obviously comfortable having a conversation of some level with you if they compliment you. I'd try to keep talking with them and try to read things from there.

I don't think there is a sexually unappealing type of good looking for me personally, but my "type" is aaallll over the place. I'm sure for some people there is. I know a lot of women who are definitely sexually attracted to K-pop boys though lol. But there may be some women who are attracted to more gruff manly men, but think softer pretty boys are attractive in an aesthetic way. Lots of people I don't even find overall attractive have features that are attractive, maybe they have a great smile. Do you not ever find someone who is not your "type" to be objectively attractive, even if you don't have any interest in them specifically?

mlo9109 · 2022-11-07T16:45:54+00:00

When they're physically attractive but have shitty morals. Your mileage may vary with this one based on your own beliefs, but I've fallen for this one too many times. If they have a pretty face, but spew racist, sexist, and downright disgusting BS when they open their mouth, it's an instant turn-off. I've had to learn another language to interpret dog whistles on dating apps.

firefireburnburn · 2022-11-07T17:08:10+00:00

Fashion Models

MistyMaisel · 2022-11-07T17:41:07+00:00

Yes. This is something I can experience regularly as a woman. It's the same thing that allows me to recognize another woman as beautiful without feel sexual towards her. It's just directed at the sex I'm actually attracted to (I'm straight). My ability to perceive beauty does not require me to feel attraction or hot under the corset. That's extra and doesn't extend to most men.

2022-11-07T18:46:03+00:00

It seems to depend on the female (I’m a heterosexual male). There’s tons of information and studies on individuals facial traits in regards to sexual and general attraction online.

My front profile is mildly androgynous (think Cillian Murphy) and I was told I’m good looking/beautiful by men and women when I was 18-22.

Because my features come together in a sort of androgynous look, the type of women I had success with on Tinder seemed to trend with my hairstyle. Buzzcut was a completely different demographic of women compared to longer hair.

I’ve never been in a one on one situation with a woman where it wasn’t still a green light to bang.

Philip8000 · 2022-11-07T19:16:05+00:00

There's also that just because you might find someone attractive, it doesn't mean you want to date them. Dating and relationships are incredibly complicated, especially if you're autistic.

Apprehensive_Cut_146 · 2022-11-07T23:24:04+00:00

The issue with K-Pop idols is their behaviour and appearance are dictated by their agency to the point of coming off as unnatural and not exposed to contexts where multiple angles of their personality/looks are illustrated.

Take actors, as example, the fact they can play different types of roles makes them come as multi dimensional and more complex than an idol. They are set in scenes where they are showed going against difficult events, implicating their endurance. And fans tend to associate their role with the actor himself.

Now, what can an idol be associated beside staged behaviour and appearence?

toasterchild · 2022-11-07T23:41:23+00:00

Its not even about sexually appealing. I can find you sexually appealing and have no interest in actually having sex with you. I could also find you sexually just ok and have a huge interest in actually having sex.

eth_trader_12 · 2022-11-08T06:16:43+00:00

Most of the time, when a woman goes out of her way to compliment you, it depends on how long she’s known you for. If she doesn’t, she almost always DOES mean you’re sexually attractive.

If you know her for a while, that’s a different story.

That’s really what it comes down to most of the time

Miserable_Yam4778 · 2022-11-09T06:40:31+00:00

Guys who are TOO traditionally attractive are kinda.... idk visually boring I suppose? Like Chris Evans is very pretty in a "I'd like to draw pictures of him" sense, but I don't find him sexually attractive because he's just... There's nothing imperfect about him. Give me two equally attractive men with otherwise identical bone structure and I'll find the one who's had a broken nose and who's ears are different heights more attractive, because his face has character.

depressionlmfao · 2022-11-11T08:14:03+00:00

you answered your own question, yes. like the kpop dudes, pretty, aesthetically pleasing, but often not sexually appealing

Title	Is there a sexually unappealing type of good looking?
Author	Johnny_Autism
Upvotes	19
Comments	77
Date	November 7, 2022 12:41 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/yoloos/is_there_a_sexually_unappealing_type_of_good/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-there-a-sexually-unappealing-type-of-good.1137770 https://theredarchive.com/post/1137770

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