Surveys and peer-reviewed articles published in scholarly journals have shown that both men and women have preferences when it comes to the sexual histories of their partners. Men and women are more or less equally reluctant to partner up with people possessing extensive sexual histories, and heterosexual women are far less likely than men to date partners with few-to-no experiences or same-sex experiences.
For the most part, however, only men’s preferences in this regard are subject to social shaming and highly scrutinized, and that’s what we’re pushing back on. When women have preferences, they can and do express them freely, without scrutiny or harassment. When men have preferences, those preferences are deemed misogynistic by both men and women.
Women discriminate against promiscuous partners at similar rates as men
Thus, contrary to the idea that male promiscuity is tolerated but female promiscuity is not, both sexes expressed equal reluctance to get involved with someone with an overly extensive sexual history. (pg.1097)
Stewart-Williams, S., Butler, C. A., & Thomas, A. G. (2017). Sexual History and Present Attractiveness: People Want a Mate With a Bit of a Past, But Not Too Much. Journal of sex research, 54(9), 1097–1105. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2016.1232690
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Targets were more likely to be derogated as the number of sexual partners increased, and this effect held for both male and female targets. These results suggest that, although people do evaluate others as a function of sexual activity, people do not necessarily hold men and women to different sexual standards (pg.175)
Marks, M. J., & Fraley, R. C. (2005). The Sexual Double Standard: Fact or Fiction? Sex Roles, 52(3–4), 175–186. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-005-1293-5
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We proposed that sexual promiscuity would negatively affect responses toward both gay and straight men, and tested the effects of sexual promiscuity along with femininity and masculinity—traits directly tied to gender role expectations… women report increased negativity toward sexually promiscuous gay men, mediated by concern for disease threats. We also found support for the influence of gender roles, as heterosexual men reported decreased prejudice toward unambiguously masculine gay men. Both heterosexual women and men consistently reported increased social distancing toward sexually promiscuous straight men (pg.74)
Cook, C. L., & Cottrell, C. A. (2021). You don’t know where he’s been: Sexual promiscuity negatively affects responses toward both gay and straight men. Psychology of Men & Masculinities, 22(1), 63–76. https://doi.org/10.1037/men0000270
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Intriguingly, men and women closely agree on the ideal number of lifetime sexual partners – and their opinions weren’t too far off from the reality. Women said 7.5 is the ideal number of partners – only 0.5 partners above their actual average. Men cited 7.6 as the ideal number of partners, which is 1.2 fewer than their own actual average… Our female respondents said they perceive the threshold for being too promiscuous is 15.2 partners, while men consider 14 the defining number when it comes to promiscuity.
Superdrug. (n.d.). What’s your number? Superdrug.com. Retrieved November 7, 2022, from https://onlinedoctor.superdrug.com/whats-your-number/ (https://archive.ph/0WoII)
Women discriminate against bisexual men and men with same-sex experiences at far higher rates than men
Results indicated that heterosexual women rated bisexual men as less sexually and romantically attractive, less desirable to date and have sex with, and less masculine compared to straight men. No such differences were found for heterosexual and gay men’s ratings of female and male profiles, respectively. These results support previous research findings that indicate more negative attitudes toward dating bisexual men than bisexual women. (pg.516)
Gleason, N., Vencill, J. A., & Sprankle, E. (2018). Swipe left on the bi guys: Examining attitudes toward dating and being sexual with bisexual individuals. Journal of Bisexuality, 18(4), 516–534. https://doi.org/10.1080/15299716.2018.1563935
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Sexuality professor Ritch C. Savin-Williams told Glamour that women saying that they would not date a bisexual man "suggests that these women hold on to the view that while women occupy a wide spectrum of sexuality, men are either gay or straight."
Mashego, L. (2018, April 20). Biphobia - why are women afraid of dating bisexual men? W24. https://www.news24.com/w24/SelfCare/Wellness/Mind/biphobia-why-are-women-afraid-of-dating-bisexual-men-20180420
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63% of women, however, say they wouldn't date a man who has had sex with another man
Tsoulis-Reay, A. (2016, February 11). Are you straight, gay, or just...You? Glamour. https://www.glamour.com/story/glamour-sexuality-survey
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Thirty-four percent of women anticipated or had already experienced having sex with another woman, compared to only 20 percent of men who desired to have sex with another man. However, women were less willing to consider dating a bisexual person than male respondents.
Sexual Journeys: 1,000 People Evaluate their Sexual Evolution. (n.d.). ZAVA UK. Retrieved August 18, 2021, from https://archive.is/ZWOXD
Women discriminate against inexperienced men far more than the other way around
In association with world-renowned biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher of Rutgers University and esteemed evolutionary biologist Dr. Justin R. Garcia of The Kinsey Institute… 42% of singles would not date a virgin (33% of men and 51% of women)
Fisher, H., & Garcia, J. R. (2013, February 5). Singles in America: Match.com releases third annual comprehensive study on the single population. Match.com MediaRoom. https://match.mediaroom.com/2013-02-05-Singles-in-America-Match-com-Releases-Third-Annual-Comprehensive-Study-on-the-Single-Population
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Younger people in their 20s were particularly less likely to say they would date a virgin — even though most virgins were in this age range—and women were more likely to report not wanting to date someone without sexual experience than men.
Basu, T. (2016, April 4). Adult virgins say they don’t want to date other adult virgins. The Cut. https://www.thecut.com/2016/04/adult-virgins-say-they-dont-want-to-date-other-adult-virgins.html
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