When women do more household labor, they see their partner as a dependent and sexual desire dwindles.

odysseytree · 2022-12-12T16:20:50+00:00

Then they should leave their partner and should date those men who don't earn, stay at home and will do the household. These studies try to portray women as helpless when being in a relationship is itself is a choice you can opt out from anytime.

Capn--Flint · 2022-12-12T18:20:18+00:00

A thing worth noting is how a study like this has been done, the method can make a big difference on results. I see some potential bias in this study.

Firstly it's done via a survey site, which means it's self reporting, which is less credible than an actual interview.

The questions that are posed can in itself nudge the participants in answering in a certain way, and self-reporting is very susceptible to that.

The women that choose to participate may share some characteristics, for example they may have been dissatisfied with the division of labour in advance and therefore be interested in venting that frustration, hence skewing results.

Secondly, and this is an important fact, the women that was included in the study had to meet the following criteria; "cohabiting with someone who identifies as a man for six months or longer and living with a dependent 12 years of age or younger."

This means that there is a child involved which means this is a study about mothers or foster mothers, not women in general. The distribution of household chores may be a proxy of the satisfaction with the quality and distribution of the tasks in child rearing.

I wouldn't consider results from a study with this method to be particularily good evidence.

Edit: spelling.

Fuzzy_Department2799 · 2022-12-12T18:08:45+00:00

If she is working full time then yes you need to be helping with the household chores. If she is going to college full time then yes you should be helping with the household chores. If she isn't and there aren't multiple non school age kids at home then that math ain't adding up and the dynamic balance of the relationship needs to be addressed.

Cybralisk · 2022-12-13T07:54:05+00:00

Modern women are entitled that's why. Traditionally men bankrolled the household and women did the housework. Now women want all the benefits of a traditional man and don't want to do anything for it and society told them that they are special and deserve it.

NorthwestDM · 2022-12-12T19:00:28+00:00

Let's see here's the actual study: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-022-02397-2

Now let's look at the contributors and references.

we've got something published in the 'Archives of Sexual behaviour' a peer-reviewed academic journal in sexology, which should have us worried for a start since sexology is tied pretty strongly to Socialism and feminism, not to mention has a nasty history of promoting child abuse. As a case in point the Archives founder Richard Green argued for attraction to minors being declassified as a mental illness and claimed it was found in "a substantial minority of 'normal people'.

as for the paper in question, the contributing authors include 3, potentially 4 women as the authors one of whom is a representative of the Gender studies department of the Canadian Queen’s University, Kingston Ontario.

And a boatload of feminist studies in the references including the likes of:

'Theorizing race, class, and gender: The new scholarship of Black feminist intellectuals and Black women’s labor'

'Gender and power: Society, the person and sexual politics'

Facilitating wife” and “feckless manchild”: Working mothers’ talk about divisions of care on Mumsnet. Feminism & Psychology.

An intersectional analysis of gender and ethnic stereotypes: Testing three hypotheses. Psychology of Women Quarterly

Intersectionality and work–family balance: A study of Black, White, and Mexican-American adults. Advances in Gender Research

Look at this mess, It's a fucking Feminist Psyop, manipulation and political gaslighting at its finest. It even uses bloody newspaper and magazine articles as references in including an opinion piece from the Sydney Morning Herald.

Why are we giving any credence to this without at least inspecting the source fist?

sgt_oddball_17 · 2022-12-12T16:21:15+00:00

What happens when men do more household labor?

How come no one ever does that study?

63daddy · 2022-12-12T17:09:31+00:00

Date women but don’t live with them. Problem solved.

WhereProgressIsMade · 2022-12-12T19:23:56+00:00

This comment is a bit sad to me since many guys see this kind of advice but don't realize the bigger picture.

Wanna turn your lady on? Clean the house without being asked

That's a gross oversimplification. Too many guys think just "doing more" is the answer on how to be more attractive to her to turn her on, but it's not. Taken to the extreme, it ends up just being simp behavior which ends up backfiring and turning her off even more.

It can work when the situation is that you are already attractive to her but the dishes piling up ends up basically being a c*&# blocker, because her mind drifts toward things that need done instead of sexy time.

Athol Kay goes into this a lot more in his book "Married Man Sex Life Primer".

CaptSnap · 2022-12-13T04:04:20+00:00

Women perform approximately 2.5 more hours per day of household labor relative to men

What the fuck are they doing for two and half hours every single day? How can that be possible? So I had to look it up:

From the source that quote is from (emphasis mine): source if youre curious pdf warning

The total work burden of women and men was equivalent in 2015 (7.8 and 7.6 hours, respectively). However, when unpaid work performed as a simultaneous activity was included, women’s total work burden was an average of 1.2 hours greater per day than men’s in 2010 (9.1 versus 7.9 hours).

Simultaneous activity means that for the last two surveys the researchers have allowed respondents to list multiple things they were doing at once. So if you both vacuum and dust for 30 minutes, thats not 30 minutes of housework, thats 60 minutes of housework. Or if you watch tv for 30 minutes while you put a pizza in the oven for 30 minutes, thats 30 minutes of primary activity and 30 minutes of housework as a secondary activity. Pretty fucking clever huh?

Otherwise the authors wouldnt have anything to talk about but see by fudging the numbers a bit, you can get a woman's day to add up to about 30 hours. So she has time to do about two and half hours of housework every day. (this is the average between those with and without kids) Canadian houses must be goddamn immaculate. I cant imagine how clean my house would be if I paid a housekeeper for just 1 of those hours every day. I used to have one come in once a week and it was practically brand new feeling, but every fucking day? It must be how billionaires live.

I dont know about women I wouldnt speak for them but if I felt it took me two and half hours to get my house in order... EVERY DAY.. of my life, I would be overwhelmed with what a giant fucking waste it all is.

I wonder what percentage of women feel embittered to their spouse after reading academic surveys like this without questioning their methodology.

saito200 · 2022-12-12T18:09:08+00:00

I believe that the fact that someone is dependent on an emotion they don't control rather than commitment to maintain a long term relationship says a lot about their maturity

MGTOWManofMystery · 2022-12-12T19:23:47+00:00

Was it a random study? Do women find men who do MORE household work more attractive (nothing mentioned about that in the article). Anecdotally, I posit that women don't get turned on and more sexual with partners who do more housework. Men are damned if they do or do not. (My conclusion: men are much better off physically and mentally if they avoid LTRs and avoid marriage).

pasta4u · 2022-12-12T22:08:18+00:00

What do they think happens when Men do more household labor than their partner ?

Gunthersalvus · 2022-12-13T06:15:26+00:00

You can thank this 3rd wave feminist bull crap movement

toyboy51 · 2022-12-13T12:55:03+00:00

There are 2 systems: either be quiet and be at home doing house work while husband goes out and earns (kind of impossible in the west nowadays due to cost of living - valid in other sofisticated places such as india) OR equality: both work both share household works and expenses etc

parasitius · 2022-12-12T18:41:59+00:00

The thing that really gets my goat about these debates is the idea of household chores being some sort of inevitable part of life

I live alone and don't have house guests, and I don't do any sort of household chores - I structure my entire life around not having to do them because I hate them - *exactly* like some people might live in an apartment because they don't take interest in grass, watering flowers, and/or paying for landscaping nonsense

*In case anyone wants to get pedantic, I really mean that I keep my efforts into the intangibly small range like 3-4 minutes average PER DAY, and the compromise involves things like always having to sit to pee & using fans to keep the shower bone dry so it never needs cleaning yet looks like new

VisionarySeagull · 2022-12-12T23:16:53+00:00

They altered the contents of the study.

When women do more household labor

No, when women perceive themselves as doing more household labor. This study did not measure how much household labor the women actually did; it basically asked them "Do you feel like you put more into the house than your partner?"

Some women will legitimately fuck around on their phone for two hours, do the dishes, and then call doing the dishes a two hour and fifteen minute job.

(Note: some men will do the same. I'm simply saying this because the study is about women.)

McFeely_Smackup · 2022-12-12T22:32:05+00:00

the interesting thing is when women really ARE 100% a "dependent", men still manage to not use that as an excuse to deliberately undermine the marriage relationship.

this "women suck at sex, but it's really men's fault" crap has been going on for generations.

CurveArtistic · 2022-12-12T19:00:38+00:00

I wonder how it plays out when the man provides financially though.

I make 95% of the income in my household but also work a demanding and around the clock job. She also has a solid career by most standards (makes $200k a year), but we both agree that my career takes priority.

My gf takes care of a majority of chores, but says she’s happy to do so. I am also pretty clean and cook a lot of meals for us as well. Also, I think she recognizes that I provide a lifestyle that she wouldn’t be able to afford otherwise.

I wonder if sexual desire on her end would dwindle with time solely due how she provides value to our household

rahul_9735 · 2022-12-12T16:39:29+00:00

Just words won't help you!! Reverse the whole system then you will realise..

NutsLikeMelons · 2022-12-12T20:12:56+00:00

So she does chores and feels like I’m a dependent. Meanwhile, in the real world, I work and pay all the bills and she actually is my dependent. It’s all just projection.

NullIsUndefined · 2022-12-12T19:33:51+00:00

Husband and Wife should be a team splitting the house work. Typically women will prefer to do stuff inside the house, and men will be climbing in the roof, mowing the land, gleaning out the gutters, repainting the wood trim, sanding the deck, etc. fixing the outdoor stuff

Melohdy · 2022-12-12T22:55:49+00:00

Honestly, whenever I try to help out, it's not good enough. I don't fold the clothes the way she likes, don't vacuum or sweep thoroughly,... I earn 6x more than she does and work full time, while she works part time.

Mansplained-lady · 2022-12-12T18:27:42+00:00

Wrong. I am the homemaker in our relationship and neither I perceive my spouse nor he himself, as dependent. He is the head of household and he has the final word. Also I love him and want him satisfied, my love includes serving him, cooking for him, doing things for him. This is no oppression, this is love.

oneknocka · 2022-12-12T21:54:41+00:00

What the study doesn’t state or address is if sexual desire then increases if partners then subsequently do more of the household chores. I’ve read that it doesn’t

Hype-And-Style · 2022-12-12T23:14:34+00:00

They have a complex where they feel like relationships should be anything other than 50/50 in favor of them.

ThatGIRLkimT · 2022-12-13T07:29:16+00:00

It depends on the situation. I hope every couple is helping each other in all aspects.

Catch-the-Rabbit · 2022-12-12T19:29:07+00:00

I would think it's less about a dependent and more about being annoyed by laziness.

flowingwisdom13 · 2022-12-12T19:32:03+00:00

I am sorry but hasn’t it been proven that the opposite holds true. Couples with traditional perspective report more sexual satisfaction and more sex than those that abide by modern norms.

mikesteane · 2022-12-13T00:04:14+00:00

If you have this sort of problem at home, get your wife a copy of Laura Doyle's "The Surrendered Wife." It is a woman explaining, in womanspeak, why if you want everything done your way, you should do it yourself. It says such things as "When you complain that your husband doesn't help out in the kitchen, ask yourself how you behaved the last time he tried."

Moldyshroom · 2022-12-12T21:44:00+00:00

Damned if you do and damned if you don't. I could be mowing and working on projects inside and outside the house all day, but the wife will come home and start hollering because the dishes weren't done or the floors weren't cleaned. Shit like this promotes attitudes towards what chores men should be helping but never points out stuff ladies don't do. Yard work, carpentry, landscaping, fix it projects, the entire honey do list.

Flip the narrative. When men do more household labor, they see their wife as a dependent, their desire for sex dwindles.... Oh now I see why my wife wants me to do everything... FML

DocRocksPhDont · 2022-12-12T20:35:47+00:00

Did you all forget that on myost modern relationships men and women are both working? You guys are surprised someone doesn't want to fuck the guy who expects you both to work and she do all the chores and cleaning, or worse the guys who are dependent on the wife who don't work or clean? This isn't that hard to understand

SleeplessSeaTac · 2022-12-13T01:39:39+00:00

Yep, wife says that's what screwed up our marriage. Either that or she's sleeping with the neighbor, IDK. She was adamant that one of us stay at home with the kids and homeschool, but since I made 2x her salary, she retired to take care of the kids. Pretty much stopped sleeping with me that month and never came back to bed.

Kids are great, so I'm grateful for that at least, but if you want sex AND a stay at home wife, put 50% of your pay to a nanny, maid, and cook, and send the wife back to work.

_PersistentRumor · 2022-12-12T21:55:00+00:00

Most women secretly "settle" for their partner, and will use any excuse possible to get out of sex.

Icy-Start5536 · 2022-12-12T18:15:43+00:00

All my girlfriends complain that my house is dirty, then make some supposedly witty joke and put out as usual 🙄

Nixthebitx · 2022-12-13T03:46:41+00:00

That's not what the study was about at all. This is from the ARCHIVES OF SEXUAL BEHAVIOR division for scientific psychological study publications.

This study focused on narrowing the field of research conducted into women's low-sex drive MEDICAL diagnoses and treatment. Don't let a media article twist a scientific publication's motive for the work done here, nor for the women who sought out treatment for these issues that conducted in this.

A lot of women struggle with this, and they go to the doctor for help so they can have that desire back for and with their husband again.. they don't walk into those doors telling the doctor it was their husband's fault.. so don't let some twat cheapen what was studied here, or intended overall, because they have their own narrative to show when they don't understand a thing that was aimed for here.

-- FROM THE INTRODUCTION: "In a recent review, Mark and Lasslo (2018) outline individual (e.g., cognitive focus, stress), interpersonal (e.g., relationship length and relationship satisfaction), and societal (e.g., restrictive sexual attitudes and egalitarianism) factors associated with low desire.

They note that “…the research to specifically examine the societal influences into maintaining sexual desire in long-term relationships has been limited… This is an area with ample future research opportunities, and we encourage researchers to explore this as a priority” (p. 575)."

That last bit is what this is for. It's one of many to come.

Read the published study, not the reddit post, not the online article about the study. archives of sexual behavior ORIGINAL PAPER - Gender Inequities in Household Labor Predict Lower Sexual Desire in Women Partnered with Men

DocRocksPhDont · 2022-12-12T20:30:44+00:00

Did you read this? In most cases now both the man and woman work. The issue arises when the man doesn't pull his equal weight with home and work, making them totally dependent and the relationship unbalanced

If either a woman or a man didn't want to work and also didn't want to cook and clean, I would think they were a deadbeat and not want to sleep with them regardless of their gender. This study really isn't that surprising.

Icy-Start5536 · 2022-12-12T18:15:53+00:00

All my girlfriends complain that my house is dirty, then make some supposedly witty jokes and put out as usual 🙄

Icy-Start5536 · 2022-12-12T18:15:34+00:00

All my girlfriends complain that my house is dirty, then make some supposedly witty joke and put out as usual 🙄

Rubatose · 2022-12-12T19:00:41+00:00

Yes. This is literally biological. I'm sorry, but most women want a provider and they want security. And there's nothing wrong with that. Unless, of course, those are things you can't do. Then you're supposed to find a woman who doesn't mind doing more work instead of complaining as if every single woman in the world is supposed to mentally alter themselves to be more fitting for you personally.

JewelFyrefox · 2022-12-13T02:35:45+00:00

As a woman myself, I hate household labor with a passion. But, I know it must be done in order for there to be some kind of organization. Even if everything's not sparkling, I don't care, as long as it isn't disgusting, dangerous, or unlivable.

That's why I would want us to share the chores. Take turns doing dishes, have our own half of the laundry, one mop, other sweep, etc, etc. It's only fair if we both do half at the very least.

The only acception to this is if one does not have a job at the moment, unless it's for medical reasons or reasons such as someone close just died, then there is no reason why they shouldn't clean.

A_British_Villain · 2022-12-13T09:05:54+00:00

A woman can be your mother, or your lover, not both.

If you need to be babied then call your mom.

Around your gf or wife you are expected to be the solid ground she can rely on.

Commercial_Ad_4522 · 2022-12-13T07:14:50+00:00

I feel like that should go both ways to a degree aside from people struggling with physical or mental health needs who should be given extra help. Neither women nor man should be sitting at home doing nothing while the other works and does the chores and or takes care of children unless there are extenuating circumstances. I do deffiantly see women as expecting more than they are willing to give in that regard, however I think it’s fair for either gender to feel dissatisfied if they are putting in much more work than is equitable.

Death_Stranding69 · 2022-12-13T11:36:13+00:00

When a man do more work and labor, they see their partner as a gold digger and their liveability dwindles.

Title	When women do more household labor, they see their partner as a dependent and sexual desire dwindles.
Author	Glum-One816
Upvotes	242
Comments	141
Date	December 12, 2022 4:11 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/zk39xp/when_women_do_more_household_labor_they_see_their/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/when-women-do-more-household-labor-they-see-their.1144131 https://theredarchive.com/post/1144131

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