What do you think women refer to when they say dating apps are full of low quality sexual offers and very few actual options?

Inareskai · 2023-02-09T11:27:49+00:00

I don't understand whether they lie to us because of virtue signalling or if women who complain haven't yet realized that Tinder is a hookup app, not a relationship app, as men seem eager to give average and below women a chance for a relationship too on the right platform.

It's interesting to me that you did your 'experiment' and when you found something you didn't think was bad, you pretty much immediately went to the idea that women must be LYING and VIRTUE SIGNALLING or just too stupid to realise that the apps they're on aren't for what they want.

Rather than... maybe wondering about why so many women say they don't like apps and their reasons for it but you had a different experience. Why might that be? What might the differences be? Could it be that you, alone, have figured out how to online date without creepy messages and all women are just dumb? Or is it perhaps there are factors that you haven't accounted for, experiences you may not have had, things you controlled for that in real dating may not be able to be avoided (e.g. you didn't speak to these apparently perfectly nice men because that would be unethical, but you don't seem to consider that not all creepy messages start from message one).

Do you do that with other people's experiences? Someone says 'oh I got wet in the rain' and you go 'well I've looked outside and it wasn't raining why are you lying to me?'

How can one call most men "low quality creeps" for using a dating app for its intended purpose? A relationship app is for relationships, a hookup app is for hookups.

I really don't know many adult women who were call most men "low quality creeps". Where did you get that quote from? Was it somewhere like female dating strategy because that's not a very accurate source on how most people are. Also, again, I've heard plenty of stories from women on 'relationship apps' getting weird messages etc. And last I checked, being sent loads of nasty messages because you turn someone down shouldn't be common place on any app.

People can and do make nice connections on apps, that's not news. I have several friends who met their partners on dating apps (2x Bumble, 1x Tinder). It can happen and you can get nice messages. But there's a lot of people who have really shit times and for women, that has led to a lot of them just saying 'right well fuck this'. Then there are going to be more men trying to make connections with those few women who are still there, and there's going to be more men who aren't getting messages at all because the women just aren't there. It's not some deep mystery.

Also, are you suggesting no one puts their picture on dating apps? Because I feel like that's maybe a good idea but also probably a terrible idea.

leandrot · 2023-02-09T10:08:37+00:00

How much did you talk with the men who answered the profile? Did you go up till the end (trying to set up a meeting) with any of them?

The experience you related is just about the first approach. Not using pictures on ForeverAloneDating also brings biases to the experience (like you admitted, there aren't guys approaching you just because you looked like X). It's not enough to draw meaningful conclusions about anything.

HappyRainbowSparkle · 2023-02-09T10:58:17+00:00

When I tried okcupid it was mostly creepy messages, as for forever alone dating where they messages from men near by? What use is a nice message from someone the other side of the world? How long were conversations? They may start nice but change quickly, look at examples on niceguys it goes from you seem really nice to fucking slut you're ugly anyway in a few messages.

As for finding a partner, what criteria did you list? Generic stuff like travel?

Remandergrowth · 2023-02-09T11:28:28+00:00

So there are a few different things you have to take into account to have this conversation in good faith.

Women do get a lot more matches in online dating. This is just a fact.
Men often do not get as many matches as women due to a number of reasons.
Women's attraction works differently than men's.
Men want sex a lot more than women do.

So, with these constraints laid out, let me explain why you are wrong. While women get a lot more matches now than men do, a lot of those matches are from men that purely want sex. This group of men is often willing to lie and cheat and steal to get as close to sex as possible. They will lie about what they like to do, where they live, and even who they are. So women have to constantly field out liars trying to just have sex with them and nothing more.

After that process, which can eliminate the majority of the matches, then questions arise as to whether the man can actually make the woman orgasm or at the very least has a desire to learn how to make the woman orgasm. There is a large orgasm gap between men and women that has yet to be resolved, and many men are not making the effort to learn female sexual anatomy. So even if women are looking for a hook up, there is a chance that they will not have an orgasm.

Finally, dating apps do not work in tandem with female attraction. Women are often more attracted to conversation, mannerisms, movements, etc. That is why female pornography is mostly literary. Men can see a picture and know they would like to bed a woman. Women need to see him talk, move, etc. first. So dating apps often do not help at all with this. Video and meeting in person does.

So those are my reasons.

Stargazer1919 · 2023-02-09T16:02:27+00:00

Making a fake women's dating profile doesn't mean you suddenly understand the perspectives of women.

There's probably red flags that lots of women would pick up on from the conversations you had, while you missed them. It's just a simple fact that you haven't lived as a woman and experienced what they deal with.

Melificarum · 2023-02-09T16:24:56+00:00

One of my single friends took me through her dating apps one time because I was curious and we looked through all the guys and some of her messages and at the time I was like, "Wow, it must be fun to be single these days with all this technology."

And she said, "No, see all these guys here? They seem nice but you can tell they aren't looking for a relationship because of how they keep popping back up on the app. This guy I met wanted to have sex on the first night, this guy is flagged as a creep. After a while you get to know which ones to look out for." Then she told me about meeting these guys irl and the horrible experiences she had, and after that I didn't think modern dating seemed so fun anymore.

tromp-et · 2023-02-09T16:31:58+00:00

You cannot tell intentions from 1 message.

xvszero · 2023-02-09T21:35:35+00:00

What are you missing? Honestly who can say. Probably outside perspective. For instance:

high quality messages from men who read my bio carefully and related to it, while also showing appreciation for my personality

None of us have any idea what metrics you are using to judge this. Nor does this say anything about whether the guy is one of the many who turns out to be a liar who says nice things to get laid. Etc.

This isn't research it's just you confirming to yourself what you already believe. If you want to do serious research then you'll have to learn how to do serious research.

baiser_vole · 2023-02-09T13:51:39+00:00

The problem is how many guys want sex before establishing exclusivity. If someone wants sex before establishing exclusivity, that means sex is prioritized. You must have heard of people having sex on their third date, which I think it is a stupid concept. Btw, you might have attracted a certain group of guys or given an impression of not wanting sexual advances by the way you set up your profile.

AceArguments · 2023-02-09T19:23:00+00:00

Everyone and anyone can be nice to you online or give off an air of authenticity. Do you think anyone online is anything like they are in real life? Even people in front of a camera all day like youtubers, actors, public spokes person, mayors, and presidents can later come out as being highly immoral individuals.

Are you so naive as to take everyone at their face value online? There are men pretending to be children in child gaming spaces right now who are very very very "nice". They take all the time in the world to read the children's bio's and know every little detail about them. If they're nice to you and they're just chatting what's the issue right? People find out when they meet each other don't they?

Of course men get 0 messages online. Do you understand that approaching a man in any space is highly dangerous? And if women were to approach men online, if they turn out to be a stalker, rapist, or murderer the blame is on the woman for interacting with them?

Having more options isn't better if all the options are rotten. The best decision in those cases is to not go near the barrel of rotten apples at all. Real life always beats dating apps. If you meet a guy in real life, he's had to make a good reputation for himself every step of the way if he wants to fit into society. That's a vetting process. You can't know what an individual's reputation is from an app where they write their own bio's. Men or women.

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Naus1987 · 2023-02-09T16:08:23+00:00

I was giving my sister shit about 6 months ago saying that dating websites are trash, even for women.

Good quality people avoid them, so you’re only left with the trash and hook-up’s.

GirlGazing · 2023-02-10T05:46:00+00:00

Lol. Most red flags don’t appear until later on. Say once you’re off the app & opening up the conversation. Or once you’re on the 1st date or actually dating.

Vegetable_Pick8172 · 2023-02-12T02:08:53+00:00

Damn bro can you find me a husband? I'm legit at the point where I'll pay another person to make a profile for me because I'm taking too much psychic damage from dating apps

Title	What do you think women refer to when they say dating apps are full of low quality sexual offers and very few actual options?
Author	DetermineAssurance
Upvotes	0
Comments	108
Date	February 9, 2023 9:49 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/10xqv33/what_do_you_think_women_refer_to_when_they_say/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/what-do-you-think-women-refer-to-when-they-say.1151380 https://theredarchive.com/post/1151380

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