Is it just me or is there a lot of feminist viewpoints in this sub?

Mewster1818 · 2021-02-16T13:27:33+00:00

You're correct it's not rpw to actively choose those options or suggest them in most cases.

But we should also remember that a lot of people coming here for advice are asking after having already made those decisions. They can still embrace rpw even if they're past their 20s.

There are also some cases where I do suggest people stick with their choices. For example the recent post by a girl in medical school should probably stick to finishing medical school because it would be a bad life decision to quit halfway through and damaging to her marriage value (high debt but no good job, sign of being irresponsible, etc). But again this is because she has come for advice after having made a choice that now requires commitment.

But overall I agree I see a lot more women who seems to think red pill is just feminism-lite with prettier clothes.

pearlsandstilettos · 2021-02-16T15:03:09+00:00

RPW is supposed to be a way of relating to men. RP in general is supposed to be a realstic look at gender dynamics and the modern dating marketplace.

There are a lot of people here who think that this automatically means a traditional conservative path with a set of guidelines. It doesn't. RPW can accomodate a career woman who is happily married to her brawny paper towel man husband or a religious virgin who is looking for her match.

There are best practices but that doesn't mean there won't be disagreement and that doesn't make the disagreement anti-rpw. What is RPW are the things that make the relationship healthy, stable and long lasting not whether or not you are a SAHM or work.

That said we do get people in who do not read the sidebar and the wiki and we do not have members who contribute "articles" and thus keep the community on track. We get bad advice which we try to remove (we don't get a lot of reports from you guys that advice isn't rpw). It's not automatically bad advice if it contradicts a religious traditional conservative worldview.

thesixthamethyst · 2021-02-16T17:14:58+00:00

I mean, you're not the gatekeeper to the rpw ideology. It's not up to you to decide who is and who isn't rpw...

Should we encourage women to settle in their 20's simply because it fits the rpw ideal? What about women who haven't even had the opportunity? Are they kicked out of rpw because they didn't get their chance fast enough? Too bad, so sad? My personal take on rpw is that it's a traditional, conservative group of women. I take what works for me from the rpw ideals and let the rest go.

JackinItInSanAndreas · 2021-02-17T00:27:43+00:00

I kind of have a hard time understanding what the redpill is in general.

From what I understand Redpill ideology tells men that marriage is like the worst thing a man could ever do, women are hypergamous snakes that will rob you, so instead just focus hooking up with as many hot women as possible, getting rich, and swole as possible.

But somehow when women absorb redpill ideology, it's suddenly about getting married and having children young, and basically becoming a tradwife.

How are they both following the same ideology and coming out with completely opposite ideals?

spotted_kat · 2021-02-16T19:04:47+00:00

So I am new to this sub, and have done a lot of sidebar reading and looking through older posts. I see two philosophies, one is a way of relating to men with the goal of having more mutually fulfilling relationships by understanding traditional gender dynamics (which modern day feminism ignores) and ways to increase dating and marital success. I.e leaning into being feminine, understanding what respect looks like, understanding the trade offs of how you have been taught to relate to men in the modern era versus what men really want from women. The other philosophy seems to be around what a rpw LIFESTYLE should look like.

One of the limitations of pursuing marriage and family at a young age is not having a firm grasp on what you truly want, and then not being able to translate that into the type of man you need to be with to help get what you want out of life, whatever the variables for work and family end up being.

What will be more fulfilling to a woman? being a stay at home mother or working? I honestly think this is where you can’t generalize and this is dependent on the woman. Modern day feminism only sells one dream, and it lets down a lot of women because of it. RPW to me gives you the psychological flexibility to challenge that and then the tools to pursue what you want more effectively.

A woman should have the flexibility to make that choice for herself, and to be partnered with someone who can help her have all that she wants. That is really Laura Doyle’s philosophy to me. Understand how to relate to men and give them what they need and want so you can have what you need and want too.

Edited for typos!

blueberrypanda1 · 2021-02-16T19:12:27+00:00

Being a rpw is about your energy not your age. It’s about having beautiful feminine energy and being able to complement strong masculine energy with it. It is true that many women are naive in their 20s and waste their time sleeping around instead of finding a partner to marry and have kids with but it doesn’t mean every woman in her 20s needs to settle down with the first decent mans she finds. I found an amazing alpha male at 32 and am so glad I didn’t settle down with any of my past partners. Being a rpw woman means nurturing your feminine side and taking care of your appearance so you can attract masculine men well beyond the expiration date of the average women. rpw energy is kind and loving and graceful - men fall in love with your energy more than anything else.

ytpq · 2021-02-16T17:39:38+00:00

I was struggling with alcoholism during most of my 20s. I had to pick myself up and reoriente myself at 28 (went back and got a Master's in Software Engineering, got a job, bought a house). Not everyone can fit into a certain timeline or arbitrary age range. Now I'm about to get married and have kids in my 30s. Sure, the timeline is different, but when I really think about it, I wouldn't have changed anything.

Astroviridae · 2021-02-16T12:33:18+00:00

Hmm. I'd disagree that a 30 year old single woman inherently isn't rpw because everyone finds the red pill at different stages in their life.

But more to your point, I agree. The sub has grown in size but the people who used to post rpw theory and field reports have all left. Gone are the rpw endorsed contributors. So in that regards the quality of the advice given depends on whoever waltz into the sub on any given day. This is supposed to be an anti-feminist sub, it's in the rules after all, but no one reads the sidebar neither for the rules nor to learn about what rpw is really about. I won't put this entirety on the mod team though because I feel as a community we should be better at sticking to the tough truth instead of the beautiful lie feminism offers.

2021-02-16T20:14:41+00:00

You also have to be a bit realistic for the times. People are settling down later because they can’t afford to get married and have kids in their 20s. Nowadays a degree is required if you want a decent paying job so you won’t graduate until 21-23 and then you’ll be broke from student loans. If you choose not to get a degree, you’re really banking on finding an older man who can support you.

RiseAndPanic · 2021-02-16T20:25:31+00:00

Edit: Wow, thanks for the award kind stranger!

I understand where you’re coming from, but in today’s society, this timeline isn’t always realistic. Especially for those of us living on the US urban coasts where we have to pursue higher education and training to even survive. Here in California, it would have been totally irresponsible to have kids in my early-mid 20’s that me and my boyfriend couldn’t afford. And I think I can speak for many of us when I say it’s completely normal to make mistakes in your 20’s. I struggle with depression, disordered eating, and it would have been so unfair to drag my partners and future children along for that bumpy ride while I was healing. In addition, what if the relationships in your 20’s simply didn’t work out? Or your partner was abusive? Are you going to penalize women for not meeting and marrying their partner in some arbitrary timeline? In that way, maybe this sub is better geared to girls in their teens and early 20’s then. Either way, I don’t think it’s totally fair to play gatekeeper and be the judge of who can be RPW and who can’t. Everyone’s journey is different and it’s never too late to implement positive change.

I’ll admit there are lots of viewpoints in this sub I don’t agree with, but I believe in traditional roles when dating and in relationships, letting the man take the lead in most aspects, etc. and that’s what attracted me to this sub.

cbunni666 · 2021-02-16T15:45:42+00:00

If you think of it from this point of view, back in the 50s or even older, women were allowed to work. Even though it was not career level, it brought in some extra cash. This was throughout their 20s. Not all women did this but it was more common amongst the ones that hasn't married yet. Then around mid 20s to 30s or even sooner, once they get married they would leave their current job to become a housewife. Japan still do this lifestyle however they are too trying to do their own woman's lib. If you chose a career path it would be better to stick to the path and add the RPW lifestyle into it later. Depending on the career you have chosen, you can easily do it. You are not going to do it perfect because we do not longer live in that time or dont have women encouraging it anymore so we mainly have to start from scratch. Its just a waste of money and time to go to school and then just drop it mid way. Best to have it and save it for if and when your husband falls on hard times or leaves you. Not saying this will happen but you always need a safety net.

lawyercatgirl · 2021-02-16T18:20:12+00:00

I mean.. I would at the very least advocate that women have some skills and independence solely for the reason that financial dependence on a partner is not good long term. What if your partner dies and you’re in your 40s, with kids, with no degree or job skills? Unfortunately I’ve known some women who run into this issue after being SAHM and becoming widows, and it’s really sad.

clitorophagy · 2021-02-16T19:17:40+00:00

Plenty of men in the red pill forums don’t want kids at all

aussiedollface2 · 2021-02-17T00:00:35+00:00

One been here for a couple of years and I felt there’s a lot more combative comments and sarcasm lately. I also agree there’s been more women with a career focus, which I think is fine, RPW is for all women who aspire to traditional values and having a proper degree/career is not at odds with that in 2021. Indeed most high value men want and expect a woman to at least have a bachelors degree these days I find xo

acceptable_runx · 2021-02-16T12:33:30+00:00

What if a woman in their 30s genuinely didn’t find a good match ? She can still be red pilled :/ not everyone wants to settle in their twenties to ‘ good enough ‘ just because they’re in their twenties some will wait for great and that may take them into their 30s. Life isn’t black and white.. :)

Buckley92 · 2021-02-16T13:52:40+00:00

If I want to have kids, or a husband, I want to give them the best life possible.

My ex was twenty five years older than me and a banker. He also earned, and still does earn, a six figure salary.

He got made redundant. If we had kids? I was a nanny during most of our relationship, how could I have supported a family plus a mortgage on a nanny's wage, especially if we had continued into covid and he'd lost his new job again to covid?

What if he'd died? Life insurance could help, but not fully. What if he'd gotten ill and been hospitalized like my dad's best friend was? He had a seven year old son and his wife was a stay at home mom, fortunately, he had enough money to retire after that.

Maybe it's not red pill to climb the corporate ladder, but putting all economic security in your man, even if he's a good man, can be dangerous.

girlwhoplayswithbugs · 2021-02-16T19:00:05+00:00

I was verbally and physically abused by my ex fiancé for 3 years. I was so damaged that all I could do was throw myself into work. Who wants to meet another man after that??

I just married the love of my life three days ago. At 29. And do you know what my conservative, red pulled father whispered to me through tears while we danced? “I’m so glad you waited.”

There are lots of life circumstances that can cause a woman to wait. I’m no feminist. Not by a long shot.

2021-02-16T14:42:25+00:00

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Mara45 · 2021-02-17T00:11:19+00:00

Well Cherry you pointed out the elephant in the room. There ARE a lot of feminist talking points as well as ideologies that have crept into this sub and it's only becoming more obvious. The red pill used to be about cultivating femininity and workings WITHIN the context of a relationship with a man. It's why I initially subbed to this to hear more. These are things that are best started on as soon as possible. People used to teach their children this, boys to grow into a certain kind of man and girls to a certain kind of woman, so it wasn't a problem. Now we don't and you're getting the late twenties to thirties number because people are starting so late.

Latter_Ad_6840 · 2021-02-17T13:48:48+00:00

I think it's complicated because of how the social landscape changed, having your own income is now something central that men look for and it's part of your SES, figuring out how to navigate these things is tricky. Also not all of us graduated college at 22 with perfect mental stability and were able to live a rpw life. I was bogged down with mental health issues during my early 20s and I have a bunch of tradeoffs I have to decide on now. But I am also very traditional in a lot of ways.

notexpertbench · 2021-02-16T18:32:51+00:00

Where is everyone finding the information on what it means to be Red Pill? I am new to reddit so I don't know where I should be looking.

Whisper · 2021-02-17T02:28:41+00:00

I do not think a 30 year old woman who is not married is a red pill woman

There are no red pill women.

There are no red pill men.

The red pill is a set of strategies and observations, not of people. The advice here is available to any heterosexual woman, whether she is over 30, under 30, married, dating, single, whatever.

If you are going to fuss about advice being available to those who need it most, then I am not sure you understand the whole concept of "advice".

TranslatedSky · 2021-02-16T19:17:42+00:00

It took me 3ish years to have a decent understanding of RPW, its accompanying strategies, and then to see results in my own life. In general I think everyone who takes advice from the sub needs to exercise critical thinking, see who’s giving advice on what topics (e.g. if you’re a married woman asking for advice, obviously a happily married red pill woman’s comment would have more weightage). And read the sidebar.

While advice from likeminded women and respected contributors matters, I feel that it’s also good to have solid personal understanding of RPW to adapt to your own ideologies, feminist or no. After all, no one knows your situation best other than yourself, and at the end of the day you’re the one living with the consequences of your decisions.

pearlsandstilettos · 2021-02-16T16:04:42+00:00

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leftajar · 2021-02-17T02:40:53+00:00

I commented here awhile back, breaking down the economics of a two-income household, making the case that the second wage-earner (after taxes, daycare, and all the other costs) isn't actually making that much, and at a great cost of disharmony in the home.

I got a lot of upvotes, but also a ton of pushback from women who wanted to keep prioritizing career.

Imagine a 31 year old woman, who is a lawyer or doctor... she spent years of her life and took on mountains of debt to gain access to that career. The sunk cost fallacy is going to hit her super-hard--intense regret is a terrible feeling! So, she supports and upvotes comments that validate her past choices. I don't fault her; it is what it is.

Guuurrrl_okeehay · 2021-02-17T07:07:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Is it just me or is there a lot of feminist viewpoints in this sub?
Author	Cherry-lemonade
Upvotes	152
Comments	91
Date	February 16, 2021 12:05 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/ll2g9q/is_it_just_me_or_is_there_a_lot_of_feminist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/is-it-just-me-or-is-there-a-lot-of-feminist.1192412 https://theredarchive.com/post/1192412

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