Is anybody here good at hookup culture, but hates it?

BrummieAMN19 · 2023-06-16T16:05:06+00:00

I go through cycles of being bored out of my mind on women through online dating and inviting them straight to the house. It’s usually around 8-12 weeks I find switching between fuck dates straight to the house and public dates. As women are robots on online dating and it’s so scripted the way running game is on them whether that’s text or in person. On enough dates you can predict what they’ll say, do, and behave like a maths equation. They have no social skills whatsoever so they’re only good for sex.

Real life cold approaching is way better just due to the spontaneity and extra challenges it brings tbh

I’ll never get bored though of fucking a new woman.

FillThisEmptyCup · 2023-06-16T15:17:34+00:00

Me. Was really fat and a loser in college. Afterwards was in the career. I hated it.

Then I change diet, got fit, change careers in my late 20s. From then to my late 30s, went out and tried to get relationships but instead it was faced with a lot of women that just wanted to hook up so that’s what I did. There are a number of women that wanted relationships but had nothing to offer or even less than (single moms, my mom warned me).

The younger women I went out with also seem to be a lot of projects that I would have to do or ghost easily. So you eventually adapt the unwritten rules and tactics everyone else is using.

Maybe I got out of the gate too late, I don’t know.

Edit: surprisingly, I never had to do the bar or nightclub scene too much. All those environments do in the end are so separate desperate Man from their money. A lot of hook up culture exist outside of that.

Hoopy223 · 2023-06-16T17:33:13+00:00

When I hooked up a lot I loved the attention from women and the sex but I hated the clubs, the music, going to the gym all the time and injecting steroids on tuesday and thursday. There you go lol.

Mobrowncheeks · 2023-06-16T14:34:33+00:00

Why are you associating night clubs, drugs and materialism with hookup culture?

Most the women I’ve hooked up with are home bodies

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-06-16T14:48:22+00:00

Club and bar scene is supposed to get old. Same with casual. You start wanting more. More meaningful nights out, with more meaningful connections.

That when dudes start going. “You know, I kinda really just like this one girl and i think about her when she’s not around”.

That’s when dudes start settling down. That’s the process. That’s also why you don’t find a lot of “plate spinning men” in their late 30s around in real life.

t-D7 · 2023-06-16T18:37:57+00:00

than do that bro. dont do things because society says so, specially in a shit hole of a society we live in right now.

Educational_Tank_175 · 2023-06-16T18:41:44+00:00

Pick up culture and red pill, gives honest, fairly accurate information about the real motivators and the way that women think. And it does help men attract women. But here's the thing, the more that you understand the base motivations of a woman, you lose the fantasy to be able to cherish a woman. You end up finding a woman is less and less special.

Especially in today's culture where multiple studies have shown that women pick mates based on very superficial criteria for a large portion of the female population.

For instance, a major study across multiple dating apps found that women shoes, their partners based on appearance salary, height, race, and age primarily. There was very little choosing a partners based on a persons, beliefs or hobbies. And statistically, creating a higher quality, more in-depth introduction, made absolutely no difference in the woman's rate of responding. When you face these facts, and all their corollaries, you will find it difficult to in believe a woman is worthy of being cherished as an angel, with her actions, sometimes the actions of a devil.

Annual_Ad_1536 · 2023-06-16T16:16:40+00:00

Why don't you hook up with audio engineers or musicologists, or move to a country town like Savannah or something? I think this is an issue of you hanging with the wrong crowd.

lolthankstinder · 2023-06-16T18:04:27+00:00

The women willing to date me were so much hotter than the ones willing to hook up with me. So, I just adopted a dating strategy of starting out casual and was upfront and honest about it. That weeded out all the women that pathologize men/sex or think of themselves as transactional holy vending machines graciously bestowing divine sex on lowly men in exchange for commitment, and I was left with just a few very chill, attractive women. Unsurprisingly, one of those few chill and very attractive women is now my girlfriend.

2023-06-16T14:46:18+00:00

Hookup culture is a sub group of individuals that exist in all groups of people. I meet a shit ton of people. There are tons of people that don't engage in night life but have highly sexual sub groups. For example, there are people who engage in rock climbing and acro as hobbies. There's always a handful of people within that circle that are screwing everyone and everything. They don't drink or go to night clubs. I'm apart of a composting group. 4 people in that group will fuck anyone, anywhere, anytime.

People who hook up are minorities of the general population. However, they exist as a subgroup in most groups.

Joining a social circle. There's usually 1 person that sleeps around, or at least has more casual sex than everyone else in the group.

coffeecups5 · 2023-06-17T05:12:35+00:00

I’ve been so destroyed emotionally by both long term relationships and “situationships” that I got into the bad habit of engaging in hookup culture because it was easy and fun. I’m a woman btw.

Afterwards I always feel clingy, used, and confused as to why the person doesn’t want more.

Hookup culture has destroyed my self worth and I’m trying now to get better.

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zyex12 · 2023-06-16T14:38:43+00:00

I mean I did fall into hookup culture in college and it was mostly to cope cause me and my long term girlfriend broke up she was my first so I kinda just went wild from there to I guess cope ya know the basic drugs alcohol and sex trope. I never did like it and I can see why people do it but I’m also very sure that most people do it cause their also just using it for some form of coping with something

Icy-Account-7084 · 2023-06-16T16:08:47+00:00

yes, impossible to date tho

Stunning_Thing4208 · 2023-06-16T16:14:44+00:00

I could be good at it. I'm not even gonna try.

lovestocomment · 2023-06-16T16:33:01+00:00

I got sucked into that culture. And I realized quickly that it was a destructive and costly lifestyle. I wanted more for myself and so I disengaged. I don't engage activities for quick gratification.

TheDustLord · 2023-06-16T18:02:01+00:00

I’ve (29M) hooked up several times and yes I hate it. I’ve stopped.

LogicalArchon · 2023-06-16T19:36:31+00:00

Yeah, I refuse to fuck women casually. Was never about that life

SierraMistSoda · 2023-06-16T19:51:03+00:00

My annoyance is that every date I go on guy wants something casual. They lie to get to the date then they say on the date that maybe it could develop into a relationship or some crap. I post attractive photos but do put that I am looking for a LTR on my apps. I can weed out the ones that turn sexual in the first few messages, but some guys are sweet on the app but in person they turn into college frat boys.

nycgymbro1 · 2023-06-16T20:46:06+00:00

Anyone who is single would be stupid not to date multiple people. It's like looking for a new job and only interviewing at one company. What happens when you spend 3 months going through the process and you get rejected OR worse, you get the job and realize you hate it because you need we looked around to see what else is out there.

smarmycheesesandwich · 2023-06-16T21:06:20+00:00

It was overrated. Long term relationships are infinitely better. I legit have felt used for dick sometimes and it’s not as good as you’d think.

Soggy_Head_4889 · 2023-06-17T04:02:05+00:00

I was pretty successful with it from 21-25, but got bored at 26 and haven't had any dating apps installed on my phone in a year. Then I took a sabbatical at work and went to Europe for awhile and met and fell in love with a girl from Slovakia which kinda sucks because she doesn't wanna live in the US and I don't wanna move to Europe because I have too good of a career here in the US. So I guess it's time to install hinge again...

JNRoberts42 · 2023-06-17T12:55:23+00:00

Yep. I'm fantastic at attracting men I find physically attractive, but I have zero desire for casual sex or short term flings. But I'm also not religious, conservative, or sexually inhibited, so I'm stuck in a bad feedback loop with healthy, fit, educated men who enjoy casual vs uptight, conservative, gullible men who want LTRs.

Educational_Tank_175 · 2023-06-20T12:03:12+00:00

Just like with women to a lesser degree frequently, dating many women will make you jaded, less appreciative when a good woman comes along. Still, you have to have a way of meeting women, right? I found going to country line dancehalls a nice place to meet good people in a fun context, more likely to date for the purposes of long-term relationship and marriage.

Title	Is anybody here good at hookup culture, but hates it?
Author	DutifulRye696
Upvotes	14
Comments	63
Date	June 16, 2023 2:26 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14aya27/is_anybody_here_good_at_hookup_culture_but_hates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-anybody-here-good-at-hookup-culture-but-hates.1222527 https://theredarchive.com/post/1222527

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