Is marriage a flawed concept?

Cmpunk8907 · 2023-07-02T16:17:35+00:00

Mariage at the origin didn't have romance roots. IT was a way to keep things in family and having alliance with others.
Sadly around the 19th century it starts to be a romance thing . Not a big deal yet, as life expectancy was still short and social pressure make divorce really difficult for everyone.
Fast forward, nowadays, there's no more social pressure for staying married, it became "easy" for women to ask divorce and stole you, and the romantic thing was too engrained in the brain of good and nice men at a very young age, not so much in the brain of most girls that are educated to beat men.

Wolfjak · 2023-07-02T17:07:44+00:00

Marriage has undergone drastic changes in the last 50 years. What used to be a life-long commitment, unbreakable barring the most severe circumstances, has been relegislated into something entirely new thanks to the lobbying efforts of radical feminists and the divorce industry. In trying to make divorce “fail-safe” for homemaker or lower-earner spouses, the bad ones included, society has made marriage “unsafe” for virtually everyone else.

Marriage was a worthy goal for a man about 50 years ago. Today, not so much. Some things changed in our culture: legalized abortion, no-fault divorce, domestic violence laws and the concept of marital rape. The changes themselves were not wrong, except the principal benefactor of these changes are modern women.

And modern women have a sense of entitlement that is not possible to satisfy. They expect to have it all - and they are being told that they should have it all - that their whim and feelings are most important. Somehow they expect to juggle a marriage, career, parenting and social life with no hassle - and when it doesn't work, the husband is the first to suffer. We live in a world where arguing with your wife is considered emotional abuse, telling her that she is spending too much is being a control freak, and wanting regular sex is misogyny. These same women cannot cook, clean or handle the kids without stressing out, but we men are expected to make it better.

Women are taking advantage of men in every way possible, and the government is enforcing this scrupulous behavior. To sum the current circumstance: women have choices, men have responsibilities. Marriage only benefits women. Men accept all of the risk. Marriage amounts to a no-win struggle of mutually assured disappointment.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. – Charles Schwab

Marriage today has the potential to be the most damaging decision a man can make in his life – it’s a legal extortion scheme. You’re betting a woman half your net worth that you’ll love each other forever. Marriage is handing a woman an axe, then putting your head on a chopping block in the trust that she won’t cut it off. It’s not reciprocal. The modern state of matrimony has become the legal equivalent of gambling. Getting married is like betting half your stuff she won’t cheat on you. No matter what she contributed, or did not contribute to the marriage, half of your stuff is hers. If you are not married, she has no claim on your assets, nor you on hers. That fact alone makes rejecting marriage the smartest financial move a man can make, and lets you avoid career slavery. Marriage used to be a business and social partnership for the accumulation and conservation of wealth and the raising of children. Now marriage is the new retirement pension for modern women, rewarding them for breaking a contract. A woman that won’t take your name in a marriage will gladly take your house in a divorce. You can get the same effect of marriage by selling your house, giving all your money away and have someone castrate you. There is no incentive for men to get married. Society has stacked the deck against men in modern marriage.

Whoever invented marriage was creepy as hell. Like I love you so much I’m gonna get the government involved so you can’t leave. – Jim Carrey

Countsbeans1976 · 2023-07-02T15:12:15+00:00

I think what marriage had been turned into has a ton of flaws. But that’s a part of the human condition. Unless we do things intentionally, with the purpose of making it better, we tend to mess stuff up. There is nothing wrong with two people being committed to each other, and helping each other get farther than they could on their own.

theduckbilledplatypi · 2023-07-02T15:45:38+00:00

It’s a concept that doesn’t work for this time period (imo). To go into why it doesn’t work now would probably take writing a book, but I’m sure if we all think about it you can easily start to come up with reasons as to why marriage just isn’t working in the modern era.

Tobeyx97 · 2023-07-02T17:34:47+00:00

YES phuck marriage DONT EVER DO IT!!!

euphramjsimpson · 2023-07-02T15:37:44+00:00

I don’t think many people understand what it means

Dangerous_Item_6879 · 2023-07-03T13:47:43+00:00

The idea of traditional marriage, having a life partner, growing a family etc is a good idea.

However modern marriage for men is a fucked up concept. Feminism, social media, equal rights and this stupid entitled culture we created is the reason for the problems.

It used to be looked down upon when someone got divorced. Oh, poor Sally, her husband cheated on her with his secretary and now she is all alone raising the kids all by herself.

Now the story is, Hey did you hear about Bill? His wife cheated on him with a guy from work. She filed for divorce, got a restraining order on him, moved to another state, and now he rarely sees his kids and is living with a roommate because he cannot afford rent because of the alimony and child support payments.

Solutions to the problem that would never happen.

1) Bring back the “at fault” rule. You decide to be a slut and cheat on your husband = no alimony for you.

2) Eliminate this stupid 50/50 split the assets rule. Lazy playing tennis and doing yoga all day, rarely employed mom contributed 5% of the income = you get 5% of the assets. Man paid for the house = man keeps the house.

It is way too easy and economically gainful for a woman to divorce a man. In most states if there is a huge income difference, the man pays the woman’s legal fees!!! Hence why 80% of divorces are initiated by women.

Don’t get married. Warn your son and his friends. If you son does find the “love of his life” sit down with him and have a real heart to heart about what his life could become. Nothing lasts forever and all that lovey dovey you are my soulmate, I will do anything for you, goes out the window once a couple of kids enter the equation.

It’s basically a coin flip. 50% chance that he is going to fail regardless of how hard he tries, how much money he makes, how good he is with the kids, how attentive he is to her needs.

Women are never satisfied no matter how good they have it.

jimsmythee · 2023-07-02T17:01:38+00:00

I would agree. They need to modify the divorce laws to make getting divorced as easy and as low-cost as getting married.

ThinlyDisguised · 2023-07-03T01:31:52+00:00

Bare minimum, you should never ever have a thought of marrying a woman who isn't your financial, industrious and moral equal (or better). If you go into the marriage earning more than her, you've just signed up for a prison sentence. The main thing that changed is women adapted and figured out how to work the system in their favor. It's like why would you sign up for a credit card that has an 80% APR? But if you could sign up for a credit card that had a -80% APR, you would in a heartbeat, would you not?

NefariousNaz · 2023-07-02T17:49:12+00:00

It's more that Divorce as it currently is structured, is a flawed concept given the current structure of modern marriage.

As it stands now, it gives too much power to the lower income/ asset party and give them free reign to be belligerent within the marriage.

SelectionNo3078 · 2023-07-02T19:51:36+00:00

our economy is a flawed concept

that's the problem

very few people can afford to live alone in a decent place in any market in this country-nearly everyone is between 3 paychecks and 6 months of being homeless if they lost their job and couldn't work

and for the rest-a sustained period of unemployment will drain their more substantial savings

the longer you're out of work the harder it is to find a comparable new job

etc

don't get me started about health care

unregulated capitalism is destroying all of us

1Cobbler · 2023-07-03T05:11:20+00:00

I think the current divorce model is the problem.

Cheating should have consequences and splits should be based solely on financial inputs, but factor in the kids, to a certain extent.

Women would see staying at home as a privilege that needs to be earned and would have to weigh up the consequences of divorce meaning they need to support themselves.

If they don't want to risk it, then they can build a career. Let's face it. No-one can afford to stay home these days anyway.

Classic_Dill · 2023-07-02T21:26:00+00:00

I don’t think that it’s a guarantee, that marriage can’t work, however, the statistics that you have shown, which are factual, prove the point that if you do get married, that you stand somewhere like a 50-50 chance of being happy or losing at least 50% of everything you own, the question is now that you’re divorced, would you bet on that horse called marriage ever again? I personally would never bet on that horse again, I will cohabitate with a female for decades if she would like, no problem there, but I’ll be damned if I ever sign a legal contract, a marriage license has never been, and will never be a measure of your love for somebody. People seem to think of marriage license means commitment? If it’s a commitment, why do 50% fail why does a larger percent sale, why does a large percent of divorces and with one of the people cheating? Obviously a marriage license means nothing about commitment, and I do believe that society has pushed marriage and having children way too hard! And I’m so glad to see the millennials waiting longer to get married or not get married at all and not have children, they’re actually taking their time and thinking about their next move, thank heavens a generation finally got smart.

teufelinderflasche · 2023-07-03T09:51:10+00:00

How many in long term marriages die with both partners still in love? After a while most drift in a holding pattern of emotional indifference and stay together because getting divorced is too disruptive.

No_Analyst_5235 · 2023-07-04T16:38:35+00:00

There are too many attacks upon the institution or marriage . There have always been people and groups that want to destroy the nuclear family except now it is right out in the open . Coupled with laws that favor women it’s no mystery why 80-90% file first . Also add to the statistic the guys that file b/c their wife was cheating and these numbers are insane .

A man would have better odds playing Russian roulette than getting married

Lumptbuttcat · 2023-07-02T19:04:47+00:00

No it’s not flawed. Its the laws that are flawed. If at-fault divorce had “teeth” there would be a significant shift in everything.

“No fault” made sense at the time because people were emotional and bickered with little evidence to back anything. It just made the court systems a mess. In today’s world there’s evidence everywhere.

IHateMyExB · 2023-07-02T17:07:06+00:00

It is in western society

Expatriated_American · 2023-07-02T18:30:56+00:00

Despite my very expensive divorce, I think marriage might be ok as long as your new wife works and you have a prenup to protect your assets.

And you have to only do it after a long period of LTR, tests of the relationship that you’ve been able to work through, yet also be willing to walk away if things aren’t working.

smitty537 · 2023-07-02T21:05:11+00:00

Has anyone else noticed that when heterosexual men stopped getting married that gay marriage was allowed in America?

I'm thinking divorce lawyers still needed an income source.

1antinomy · 2023-07-03T00:01:14+00:00

The concept makes sense, but the way it’s practiced in modern times is so far off from what the intention was

Longhorn9801 · 2023-07-03T03:14:51+00:00

I’ve thought a lot about this, and think that it goes even deeper. It may be my depression talking, but I don’t think love exists. I think it does for family, kids. But romantic love doesn’t exist. It’s infatuation, chemicals & hormones that fool us into thinking we’re in love. But we’re not. It fades.

mrclark121 · 2023-07-03T03:55:12+00:00

YES on all points. Next....

Luxtaposition · 2023-07-03T07:58:32+00:00

It's not flawed if you keep it rooted and what it is meant to be

No-Exit6560 · 2023-07-03T08:32:40+00:00

Modern marriage in the west? Yes, absolutely.

Check out the history and origins of marriage.

Of course you only do this after you’ve been through the grinder and you ask yourself ‘where did it all go wrong…’

Title	Is marriage a flawed concept?
Author	Protomize
Upvotes	23
Comments	56
Date	July 2, 2023 3:00 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/14oqeaa/is_marriage_a_flawed_concept/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/is-marriage-a-flawed-concept.1224354 https://theredarchive.com/post/1224354

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