how important is oral / fore play for you as a woman in terms of how much you like a man?

MistyMaisel · 2023-08-25T19:00:04+00:00

Foreplay is vital. When it doesn't happen, sex sucks and is often painful. I'm not as gung ho about oral as a lot of women seem to be, but him liking going down on me is also important. Unless he's totally chill with very lack-luster oral himself in which I'm not willing to get into it.

Yes, obviously, even the same man. When I have bad sex with my man (and it happens, they can't all be aces), I'm not as into him. I'm a lil miffed. I'm not gonna burn the house down about it, but I def ain't looking at him with the same goo goo eyes until the next time is better.

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-08-25T19:42:29+00:00

Foreplay is vitally important to me. Otherwise, how am I supposed to get turned on?

Oral is honestly not that important to me, because it often makes me feel exposed and self-conscious if all the focus is on me. But I do enjoy it and if I had a partner who wanted blow jobs but was not interested in returning the favor, I would be resentful.
Yes, good sex absolutely makes me more attracted to a man. More than that, it makes me more attached to him. PPD men think that women get alpha widowed by Chad, but they are wrong. It's the man she has had the best sex with.

Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-08-25T19:00:36+00:00

There's no sex if there's no cunnilingus.
There's no attraction if there's no cunnilingus.

AdApprehensive483 · 2023-08-25T21:01:03+00:00

"Foreplay" is sex. Period. Full stop. Good hetero sex isn't just P in V. And any man who is going straight for that, isn't good in bed. Oral, Hand stuff, ... jesus, dry humping - these can all be "foreplay" but they could also just be the entire session start to finish...ing. Some women like getting head, or giving it, or getting fingered, or fingering themselves Or their partners or both at the same time! But most women need a warm up before P in V. It's painful otherwise. UNLESS... she's already super fucking horny before you even start kissing. Which happens. But again, the main event can also be what you have deemed as "foreplay".

I don't know what "overly pushed physical attraction" means... I'm not turned on if I'm not attracted to him. I'm not having sex with him if I'm not attracted to him. But feeling attraction is not just about physical features, it's also about the general "vibes", he's gotta be funny, interesting, smart, curious, open minded, and make me feel safe (ie will he get annoyed if I tell him to wear a condom, or wash his hands? if i get naked with him and then suddenly change my mind, will he get mad? if things start to hurt, will he stop and comfort me? or will he be a fucking selfish baby and ice me out or worse). IF ALL THOSE BOXES are checked before sex, and then the sex is awesome and feels connective, then yeah, I'm going to dig him even more...

Safinated · 2023-08-25T20:09:57+00:00

If you consider me enjoying sex with you at all important, very important

Novadina · 2023-08-25T21:58:59+00:00

In general I am only compatible with men who see sex as fun play time and will be up for doing any number of things and exploring how to make the other feel nice. I want to spend hours exploring each others bodies and giving pleasure - not just have a penis poked into me and cumming in me. If a man is too much of a prude, stuffy, repressed, or boring, I won’t continue sex with them as I love sex and want someone else who also does. Not even being into foreplay - which is kind of required to make sex not a painful event for me - sounds like they don’t even like sex much, they just want to masturbate with my pussy. That’s bad sex, I have no interest in it. Oral sex specifically is not necessarily required, I could be okay if someone just didn’t like one activity (especially if we tried first, I like men open to trying things just like I am), but generally the kind of open minded men I am into have all loved oral, along with many other things that aren’t just penis in vagina.

YaKnowEstacado · 2023-08-25T19:30:14+00:00

Non-negotiable.

Relative_Bee8356 · 2023-08-25T19:24:15+00:00

Massively, and yes.

Nothing kills my attraction like finding out a guy doesn't go down. No matter how excited I was initially, I'm putting my clothes back on, we're not having sex, and we're not going on more dates.

n-a-p-7 · 2023-08-25T19:22:03+00:00

The act of foreplay (not just oral) reveals a lot about a man - his ability to listen and take feedback/constructive criticism, his open-mindedness, his sensuality, his attentiveness, his desire to please, etc. I get instantly turned off if the foreplay is terrible. I also won’t fuck you if you’re not into oral. Like my body just won’t be into it any more. Pleasurable sex will make someone much more attractive to me.

tinasnow-poty · 2023-08-25T19:28:23+00:00

It’s important that a man is willing to do it (sign he’s not a selfish partner) but tbh I don’t really care to receive or give. I prefer other forms of foreplay and they are really important to me. Preheat the oven before you put it in
Yes. They just look better doing normal things when you know they lay good pipe

januaryphilosopher · 2023-08-25T19:24:23+00:00

If I'm not physically turned on then sex is going to be less good. I need time to do that as well as actual touching. If I wasn't at all then it would hurt, but I've never done that because I'd prefer not to be hurt. I don't really care about oral and it's not my favourite way to get off. It's nice and all but I think my fiancé likes giving more than I like receiving. Generally I see how good sex is as more my responsibility and within my control, so there's less range for it to influence how much I like someone, and generally your relationship with someone influences how good sex is much more than the other way around.

Sillysheila · 2023-08-25T23:50:56+00:00

He doesn’t have to do oral every time but I’d at least like to be manually stimulated. It is very important to at least do something before sex because if you just “stick it in” right away that can be very uncomfortable for a woman, and some women will not orgasm if you do that.

Absolutely. It shows my man loves me and respects me enough to care I’m having a good time.

RadiantEarthGoddess · 2023-08-25T20:05:48+00:00

Foreplay is a must. I want orgasms too. It doesn't have to be oral, but being invested in my pleasure isn't optional.

Blame_the_Muse · 2023-08-25T19:26:35+00:00

Physical foreplay is very important, but even more important is the mental foreplay that sets the mood for sex. For women, good sex starts outside the bedroom

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-08-25T19:08:17+00:00

I like guys that go down on me. It's not that important though, I prefer a guy who lasts a long time. 20 minutes of doggy >>>>>

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-08-25T20:11:01+00:00

nothing is more important to me than sexual compatibility. I would never have sex with a man again if he didn't passionately love oral and foreplay, why would i

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wtknight · 2023-08-25T20:13:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TelevisionGloomy5458 · 2023-08-25T23:41:23+00:00

Yes to both number 1 and number 2. Read the book “she comes first”. It’s about oral sex. However, I have to be attracted to the man and comfortable and in a relationship before sex happens. I don’t do hookups, don’t do online dating (too scary), etc.

pagenotfound000 · 2023-08-26T00:35:46+00:00

I'll go down on a man and perform it on him, but I don't like receiving. I personally just think it's gross to have a mouth or fingers down there.

I don't care about having an orgasm. I don't need one to be satisfied.

I think I'm unusual sexually. When I have sex I completely focus on the man and I'm very passive. I don't like to feel like I'm participating in it. It almost feels like I'm so heterosexual that I'm kind of sexually grossed out by my own body, if that makes sense and it's all about my attraction to the man and getting to be physical with him. That alone gives me a buzz. If anything I'm turned off if a man seems too into me and my body. I don't really desire anything other than PIV.

You should ask individual women what they like. They are not a collective who all have the same needs or desires.

ashpr0ulx · 2023-08-26T01:30:59+00:00

no, i hate oral and i’m lukewarm on foreplay.
yes

BlackHeart89 · 2023-08-26T03:16:31+00:00

Eh. I've had women go down on me and immediately bend over and jump on top. Just depends on the woman. But foreplay usually made it better.

blmzd · 2023-08-26T05:13:02+00:00

I prefer to be fingered, but it is important that he’s willing to engage in foreplay. There’s no sex without foreplay. It’s important to me that he’s as invested in my pleasure as I am invested in his. We should both have a good time.

I don’t sleep with men who I don’t find attractive. That being said, I do believe that attraction can grow following a positive sexual experience. If my current sexual partner wasn’t as good as he is in bed, then I wouldn’t be as attracted to him as I am now, given the nature of our relationship (casual).

kalashhhhhhhh · 2023-08-26T08:42:36+00:00

1) Yes! Altough an occasional quickie without foreplay can happen.

2) Hell yes! But I don't think it could be maximally pleasurable in the first place if you aren't maximally intp the giy outside the bedroom.

ohdiddly · 2023-08-26T13:14:46+00:00

A guy not liking oral would definitely be a dealbreaker for me lol

Not eating pussy every single time we fuck is fine, but if he doesn't like eating pussy/foreplay in general then that's cringe

flower_power_g1rl · 2023-08-26T22:33:12+00:00

It's okay not necessary
Absolutely a priority

Title	how important is oral / fore play for you as a woman in terms of how much you like a man?
Author	passportbro999
Upvotes	5
Comments	68
Date	August 25, 2023 6:53 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1617ryz/how_important_is_oral_fore_play_for_you_as_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-important-is-oral-fore-play-for-you-as-a-woman.1229758 https://theredarchive.com/post/1229758

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