Women receive better treatment in relationships and the "sassy" pejorative is evidence of this

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-09-15T04:23:28+00:00

Never heard of a non gay dude being called sassy so that's a new one. Is this a TikTok trend or something?

januaryphilosopher · 2023-09-15T06:18:04+00:00

Evidence? I don't think I've ever heard a straight man being called sassy and not as a joke. It's also not exclusively negative as a descriptor. What even are men doing in relationships that's sooooooooo hard anyway?

ambiverbena · 2023-09-15T09:14:22+00:00

I’m sorry, I know this deserves nuance, but I fear you might be missing some key details.

I want to recognize that I do think the courting process typically favors women. Yes, men do typically take the women out and pay. I’m not denying that. The process of dating is easier for women.

But, once in a relationship, I vehemently disagree that the relationship favors women. Women, even though it’s shifted a little favorably, are still doing the vast majority of the child rearing and domestic work. And unlike 50 years ago, most women work full time so they basically have two full time jobs. There’s a shit ton of statistics I can add if you are interested, but I know other people in the post have linked some already.

You ask what it is like to be treated like a woman, but respectfully, I think you might have a grasser is green on the other side mentality. I think 90% of women would give up not paying on dates and have a man buy them things if it meant they were less likely to be victims of domestic violence (1 in 4) and their partner provided an equal amount of domestic labor. I think it’s nice to occasionally spoil your partner, you love that person and want to treat them right, but there’s a difference between showing appreciation to your partner and buying their love. Most women don’t want to be bought.

Safinated · 2023-09-15T05:05:13+00:00

Lol, “sassy”? Is this a tiktok thing, cuz I have never heard men described as sassy

If women thought relationships were all that, more of us would be in them. Men are the ones saying they have no choice, etc

JNRoberts42 · 2023-09-15T07:24:20+00:00

Women cook and keep a nice, comfortable home and clean up after their men as though men are sloppy, overgrown children. Many men do absolutely nothing beyond mowing the lawn once per week for a few months each year, and so many can’t be arsed to take out the garbage that it’s a well-known stereotype. Men in relationships orgasm far more than women.

How in the world can you say that women have it better? I’d love to trade places with a man and enjoy the benefits of doing nothing beyond going to work.

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MidoriEgg · 2023-09-15T07:27:39+00:00

Do people even use the word Sassy in real life anymore?

I think every individual relationship has its own dynamic, and while there are certainly some women who get the ‘princess treatment’ (Usually if the relationship is pretty new, let’s be real) that’s not really reflective of the majority of relationships. Women contribute more to the running of the household and domestic chores, even in this day and age where both partners usually work full time https://www.ons.gov.uk/employmentandlabourmarket/peopleinwork/earningsandworkinghours/articles/womenshouldertheresponsibilityofunpaidwork/2016-11-10 .

Women are also more likely to be killed or assaulted in a relationship. The person most likely to kill a woman is her partner or former partner; https://www.unwomen.org/en/news-stories/feature-story/2022/11/five-essential-facts-to-know-about-femicide#:~:text=This%20means%20that%2C%20on%20average,partner%20and%20family%20related%20killings.

Women are more likely to be a victim of domestic abuse by their partner, the risk of this goes up when they’re pregnant. Also, despite committing less abuse they’re also 3x more likely to be arrested if accused of abuse; https://refuge.org.uk/what-is-domestic-abuse/the-facts/

So, if you look at facts/statistics instead of silly TikTok videos, you’ll see mostly women don’t get treated better in relationships.

OpticalEpilepsy · 2023-09-15T04:25:34+00:00

Yeah they're only more likely to be killed or sexually assaulted in a relationship than men are it's not worse at all

Ayaka_Simp_ · 2023-09-15T09:40:34+00:00

Maybe don’t base your world view off of tik tok.

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-09-15T05:08:16+00:00

Men lie too much just to get into relationships. That tends to lead to a relationship being more work to sustain.

itsTacoOclocko · 2023-09-15T12:44:19+00:00

if this were true then single women wouldn't have the highest levels of happiness out of any demographic, and men wouldn't benefit more from marriage (in both happiness and life- expectancy-- married men's life-expectancy increases while married women's decreases). all of this is explained by the fact that, despite working equal hours outside of the home, women are still often performing the majority of the domestic duties and often the vast majority of child-care.

feminism recognizes that idealization is a form of dehumanization. most women will be wary of those men who attempt to place them on a pedestal-- the men who do are not seeing the women in question as people, nor are they providing a 'cushy' experience. they're projecting onto a woman and then demanding and/or coercing her into meeting unrealistic demands in order to negate his own feelings or fears of inferiority.

i also find the idea that women are averse to effort odd. again, they do most of the domestic duties, including planning and budget. not only do women outperform men here but their work is often devalued and dismissed. also, as someone who has always initiated romances, is generally quite proactive and motivated, and does all of the activity planning in my marriage... it's not work. picking fun things to do is not work, or at the very least it's not additional work-- i'd be doing the same things if i weren't married. that's the point of shared activities, like dates-- you're... sharing things you enjoy. most women are, in my observation, averse to being paid for, as many men will insist that agreeing to such entitled them to sex-- it's easier and safer to simply split the bill.

selfish people exist in any group. that they exist does not imply that their behavior is the standard. the only area in which i see entitled women is... aggregated from dating sites in misogynistic forums. sort of like we can see misogynistic men featured en masse in women's forums-- this does not suggest that the majority of men hold said values.

finally-- anyone who is truly treating someone to a luxurious experience is... very probably dating within their SES to begin with. most people do. in some cases, a financially well-endowed man will seek a lower SES woman based on appearance-- this is still a fair trade, it's just not a direct equivalence. generally, however, most people are practical and low-key-- i know because i am a fan of numerous luxury goods and i notice that most people are very much not. in my observation, most women do not care if a date is inexpensive so long as it is considerate and of quality-- paraphrasing a thread i noticed the other day 'a boutique coffee shop is fine, 7/11 coffee date is not'. that's not an unreasonably high standard.

Medium_Listen_9004 · 2023-09-15T04:26:11+00:00

Men don't have periods or risk their lives bringing children into the world.

Men risk their lives proving shit to other men(why men do this is weird AF to me but that's how a lot of us operate).

The struggles aren't the same. Women's struggles are more natural based and life based. Aka can they have a peaceful moment without worrying about what others might do to them?..

Men's "struggles" are mostly rooted in arbitrary concepts and bragging to other men(why else would concepts like "superiority" and "excellence" exist in the first place? who said that whatever men are struggling to "prove themselves" for was actually worthy of that effort?)

ace52387 · 2023-09-15T11:47:10+00:00

It kinda makes sense in a traditional relationship that the woman is treated like a princess for a while. if it ever goes anywhere, in that same traditional relationship, the rest of their time together might be a bit of a horror show for the woman (at least to me, id NEVER want to be in the shoes of a traditional wife).

Justwannaread3 · 2023-09-15T13:26:58+00:00

Damn I didn’t know being a girlfriend was supposed to be “cushy, easy, and sweet” better go dump my boyfriend and find another guy!

Fastenedhotdog55 · 2023-09-20T14:29:44+00:00

That's how the world works, the only alternative is dating an Eva AI chatbot avatar (besides being lonely). Just accept it as a part of reality and it'll be okay.

HighlightThink5276 · 2023-12-10T15:50:55+00:00

I think OP is right financially, most women want me who make more than them and no matter how they see it relationship a wife and kids are v expensive. That same man is literally fucked in divorce court, alimony, division of assets, may not get to visit his children. More of them not has to leave the marital home.

More and more men are opting out of the dating pool and many see it a job interview.

The excuse that women give prime years in marriage doesn’t make sense.. men are expected to have life long commitments when the youthful beauty withers away shortly after or early in the relationship. Women know this, there is a clock.

I really think marriage is a raw deal for men in the long term if things go wrong…which they mostly likely well or having to live in misery

Title	Women receive better treatment in relationships and the "sassy" pejorative is evidence of this
Author	Ayaka_Simp_
Upvotes	30
Comments	80
Date	September 15, 2023 4:03 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16j34n5/women_receive_better_treatment_in_relationships/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-receive-better-treatment-in-relationships.1231851 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231851

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