How do you avoid desperation if you rarely meet anyone who you really like?

AhoBaka1990 · 2023-10-28T04:45:18+00:00

The trick is to give up

leosandlattes · 2023-10-28T05:19:36+00:00

If you’re only meeting someone compatible every 1-2 YEARS, you need to dedicate more time to meeting people and expanding your social circles.

I don’t know your gender, but my mom always told me that a husband doesn’t fall out of the sky. At some point if you want a partner, you have to actually be out meeting people.

If you’re desperate, then you’re desperate. Just try to mitigate the overly clingy behaviors, love bombing, etc.

coping_man · 2023-10-28T08:42:31+00:00

you dont it's supposed to filter you out

glintglib · 2023-10-28T10:15:47+00:00

I was like this when I had low testosterone levels. Only a fraction of women triggered the "amazing physically and emotionally" threshold for me to really desire them. When they dont feel the same, its hits hard to get over and as you recognise your desperation will easily put them off. At least you are self aware, so thats a good start to recognise when to dial your eagerness back. You also got to try to get out more socially so those ladies are not a once a 2 yr event.

MidoriEgg · 2023-10-28T11:45:04+00:00

Do you think your standards are too high or specific? Do you think there’s a possibility of building a positive, healthy and eventually loving relationship with someone who doesn’t spark limerence in you?

ROBYoutube · 2023-10-28T04:36:31+00:00

Holy shit. You should get out more. Every 1 to 2 YEARS? My dude, either you hit exclusively on oscar winning actors or you are not getting out enough. I am fucking picky and I screen like a motherfucker and I still meet interesting women every couple of months.

macone235 · 2023-10-28T06:55:56+00:00

The trick is to stop caring. Hypergamy is only getting worse, and people are going to have to start learning how to be fine with being single.

Pola_Lita · 2023-10-28T08:14:03+00:00

Keep busy, keep improving, keep fit, keep your friendships and family relationships thriving.

At least if you're not starving in the other areas of your life, you'll be more likely to go into a dating situation without losing your perspective.

Ylduts · 2023-10-28T08:45:24+00:00

Your priorities need to be in line with what makes you happy and what you want in life. When you are happy in life, the dry periods while dating become obsolete.

Lina-Inverse · 2023-10-28T09:00:03+00:00

How are you only meeting someone one you are attracted to once every 1-2 years.

Are you the male equivalent of that woman who only wants the millionaire chad?

Gitsumrestmf · 2023-10-28T10:23:02+00:00

Maybe your standards are too high? You know dude, no human out there is perfect. No woman is perfect, no man is either. Physical looks aren't the quality that will make a good long-term partner. In time, the looks will deteriorate too.

SeveralLiterature980 · 2023-10-28T13:38:45+00:00

First, understand that your personal attributes and persona exert miniscule impact on your results.

Pretty much everything a woman says about rejecting a guy based on his behaviors is a smoke screen to hide the fact that she just didn't more or less lubricate around him.

You don't need to avoid your emotions or try to fit into some behavior box (at least not before you guys have slept together for a while)

DumbWordsmith · 2023-10-28T13:48:48+00:00

I just lost interest over time. I don't have the same motivation to pursue as I did when I was younger. It's been like three years since my last breakup.

I'm not jumping through any hoops at this point. I see only the negative aspects of romantic relationships.

However, I think I'm now aromantic, though I wasn't in my 20s.

ladyindev · 2023-10-28T08:15:38+00:00

My first thought is therapy to address underlying issues that could be causing you to only like someone every 1-2 years and/or address your expectations or idealisms of what relationships are and what’s realistic to look for in a partner. Learn about why you like so few people and what it possibly says about how you view yourself and what subconscious narratives about yourself are at play too.

Other than working on yourself in that way, embrace being single. I didn’t feel desperate when I was single, I enjoyed avoiding serious relationships. There’s so much life to live and shit to do that is easier to jump into without a partner. Also friends and family - build community and socialize! Again, I think this is where relationship with yourself comes in - you have to learn how to be happy and whole with yourself and not broken or incomplete without a partner for this to be max level effective. But if you can, it’s a beautiful thing.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2023-10-28T12:10:53+00:00

If you want peace the let go if I (ego) and want (desire) and all that will be left is peace.

So in this case you just need to let go of your desire to be in a relationship. To do that you have to be at peace with either being in a relationship or not. If you don’t have a desire to be coupled or single then you will end your suffering.

Safinated · 2023-10-28T15:14:03+00:00

What most of us do....basic self awareness, empathy and control

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Stacie_Sophia199 · 2023-10-28T09:19:10+00:00

Keeping hope. Besides seeing a guy watch you and follow you with his eyes while riding your bike or in the car or walking somewhere, feels kinda good as well as a substitute.

AdEffective7894s · 2023-10-28T10:47:21+00:00

Well people say you need to achieve limited self enlightenment before you can date.

But then again even Buddha would get mad if you hit him thrice ..

IDK what to tell you

RidingRedHare · 2023-10-28T11:48:49+00:00

Are you generally encountering only very few women, or are you encountering lots of women who don't appeal to you?

Mobrowncheeks · 2023-10-28T14:06:31+00:00

Why be desperate if you don’t like anyone anyway?

Spyro7x3 · 2023-10-28T22:09:05+00:00

I can relate to this and I work in very social environments of entertainment I think it’s natural

The quality of people is just in the gutter these days men and women

Title	How do you avoid desperation if you rarely meet anyone who you really like?
Author	StaticNocturne
Upvotes	20
Comments	62
Date	October 28, 2023 4:31 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17i60t7/how_do_you_avoid_desperation_if_you_rarely_meet/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-you-avoid-desperation-if-you-rarely-meet.1236673 https://theredarchive.com/post/1236673

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