First Divorced Holiday

woundedsurfer · 2023-11-23T16:11:46+00:00

I’m in the exact same boat, matter of fact, I could have written this post word for word. You’re not alone. I’m just focusing on everything I’m thankful for, like having my kids today, good health and a family that loves and supports me. I wish more than anything my wife would wake up and realize the ripple effect she’s created throughout our family and extended family, BUT, I recognize she’s not in the right head space and I refuse to get back together until she works on her shit. There’s no way in hell I’ll go through this again, especially for my children’s sake.

Stay strong my friend. Focus on all the things you’re grateful for. YOU’RE STILL ALIVE AND BREATHING!!

Lumptbuttcat · 2023-11-23T15:46:13+00:00

Celebrate the Holiday for what it is……there are people out there struggling and, by comparison, you have it really good. You have your kids, extended family, a good meal and a roof over your head. While this situation is not good, you have an awful lot to be thankful for.

You can choose to isolate in your own head or you can choose to contribute to the closeness, warmth and connection that only a family can create. Embrace what you have.

salty-sheep-bah · 2023-11-23T15:25:28+00:00

I’m not letting my kids see it, but I’m wrecked.

I call it "happy dad face". Stay positive friend, I hope it works out.

daniel22mckee · 2023-11-23T16:31:43+00:00

Going through a divorce myself. But I am the odd man out there my step kids, so I have no rights. Haven’t gotten to see my dogs in weeks or be at my home. Be happy you’re getting to spend it with your kids. Hope the best for you.

AffectionateAd6060 · 2023-11-23T15:43:03+00:00

I think many of us wish she saw on days like this that family is worth fighting for but in reality she is likely in the jungle swinging from branch to branch at an ever increasingly frantic pace seeing if any might hold up to the weight of her monkey ways.

MulberryWright · 2023-11-23T16:41:02+00:00

Thanks for all the responses, boys. Good to have a group that understands. Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and your families!

ArtichokeSavings9472 · 2023-11-23T16:14:13+00:00

Hey it’s mine too hang in there you will get better at this work hard on yourself take this time to improve any area of your life that needs it. like others have mentioned you’re not alone in this post on here and vent as needed

GrimReminder2513 · 2023-11-23T18:07:53+00:00

Just want to say same here man. While I don’t have children, I only had my dog that she took away from me last weekend. It’s my First holiday alone in over 12 years and I’m not really handling it well but I’m trying. Im very thankful for this group, it helps me a lot honestly to know that im not alone with these types of feelings. I hope you can keep your head up today, although I know it’s easier said than done most days. Happy Thanksgiving y’all

PSwayz_On_A_Horse · 2023-11-23T17:33:29+00:00

Married 19 years. 4 kids. Wife served me 9 days ago. We've always done Thanksgiving on her side of the family. She hasn't said a single word about Thanksgiving plans to me ... until 9:30 this morning ... "We're going to XXXXX at 3:30".

Me, "Okay ... I mean, I'm not going".

Her, "What?".

Me: "You served me divorce papers 9 days ago, and haven't said a thing about Thanksgiving until just now. By last night, I assumed I wasn't welcome, so I made other plans".

Her: "What other plans did you make?"

Me: "Uhhhh, that's none of your business anymore".

Glittering-Flamingo4 · 2023-11-23T16:50:16+00:00

Same here for to keep your head up man. It’s for the best mg dude some things are not meant to be. With time the anger,pain and heartache will pass.

jkiou · 2023-11-23T18:47:35+00:00

I commend you.

It's my first one too.

Wife left about a month ago after 2 months of separation.

I traveled to Ireland since I had no other responsibilities (no kids no house). It's painful. I traveled literally 5K miles away and I'm 8 drinks in and still can't forget her...I hoping it gets better.

I dont have any wise words other than I'm on the other side of the yoke with you.

Here for you bro if you need to talk or vent or whatever

Acceptable_Piano4809 · 2023-11-23T21:26:38+00:00

All you out there w children, be thankful you have them! My entire life I’ve wanted to be a dad… everything that’s ever happened to me, I pictured telling my kid about one day… I got married to my GF of 5 years at 35 (wanted to be financially stable and married before I had kids, she was 30… after trying for years to have kids, covid hit and we decided to wait… then we started having marriage problems, she started going out and drinking all the time, and stopped coming home… last year (I was 42, she’s 37) I gave her the ultimatum that we need to have a kid soon or we never will, she blindsides me w divorce, I come home from work to an empty house and have a no contact order as part of the separation.. Divorce would have been finalized in October after battling all year, and she announces she’s now pregnant with her AP she’s been cheating on me with since we were together and divorce is put on hold until after she has the baby, and now I’m 43, still married, and my STBX wife is pregnant with someone else while I’m at my house alone, and not even ready to date yet… chances are I will never have the child I’ve always wanted… You guys with children don’t know how lucky you are, as I will most likely grow old… My father is my best friend and I am his, and we are extremely close, and I will never have a relationship like that w a son, to be my best friend as I grow old…. I’m not depressed or anything like that, I’m thankful, I own a large business and make very good money, I have my large home paid off (live alone) at 43, I have an amazing 800 Sq Ft Office w glass walls and an 18’ ceiling, w a $4,000 desk, I drive an $80k 2023 car, and I have my blue French Bulldog puppy to keep me company, but my point is, the joy of having a kid is something to be extremely thankful for!

peddlar · 2023-11-23T16:25:59+00:00

Same situation lucky to have my son today. Hope she has a selfish Thanksgiving by her self. She’s earned it.

captainchippsixx · 2023-11-23T18:30:04+00:00

Don’t simp. Don’t chase. Don’t beg.
She is willing to give up a holiday to bang dudes. Don’t go back to a ho3 garden tool. Be the leader for your kids.

latamluv · 2023-11-23T19:31:40+00:00

You are not alone. Better days are ahead brother. I would recommend you be vulnerable and authentic with your kids (without tearing her down).

Signal-Dot2326 · 2023-11-24T02:28:14+00:00

Celebrate the victories, no matter how small. I got my 3 daughter going this morning and got her into her cute thanksgiving outfit and picked up my parents and took them to a kickass brunch at a nice golf course we stuffed our face my daughter ran around while eating everything and eating something off everyone's plate it was glorious, it was a good first thanksgiving in our new life. I'm thankful for my daughter and for our day, and for my parents and sister who got my back no matter what.

Dakeddit · 2023-11-24T04:35:42+00:00

Lol, she won't realize anything - the divorce isn't about the family or the kids. It's about her and her emotions overriding any logical processes.

Jimbothebimbo696969 · 2023-11-23T22:05:38+00:00

Atleast you have your kids. My ex bitch has my daughter every holiday. Be thankful for your time with your kiddos. Women are nothing more than life sucker outers.

upvotersfortruth · 2023-11-24T02:10:52+00:00

Give thanks you have your kids with you.

ColdCriticism7079 · 2023-11-24T00:54:46+00:00

I guys we’re all in the same boat

organicwilly · 2023-11-24T01:33:13+00:00

First Thanksgiving separated, took the kids to see family. She's probably banging someone back home and IDGAF can't wait to be officially single.

berzerker5000 · 2023-11-24T06:51:52+00:00

Great job making the most of it and being a great dad. It’s my first holiday for me to since separation and have the kids all week. Been having some fun playing games with them today and had a great meal. They are young 4-8, three girls. My ex pops in and out through FaceTime. She is across town eating pizza with her parents. I’m not surprised her side was never much for traditions. It’s hard that things are different now just making the best of it. She is bat shit crazy, fell into a Christian cult basically and that destroyed our marriage. But she has always had issues. I don’t wish she would come to her senses, I am done. But it is sad when the kids ask if I will ever come back and all live together. I tell them you never know, but mama doesn’t want me to come back. The kids want us to be a family again, and that part sucks. Just have to muscle through it and be the best dad and embrace the change.

thro281 · 2023-11-24T13:10:31+00:00

I’m in the same boat. Before we left she was very melodramatic like she is going to miss the kids over Thanksgiving. They were all crying in the garage as I was finishing packing for the trip. I have a huge family down South so I hardly miss her. My kids are just having such a blast with family and I’m happy they are getting to know more about my side of the family. I was going to leave on Friday but my daughter wants to stay another day. I think we will stay surrounded by love instead of the house of broken dreams and their unhappy mother.

Spam_It_All_To_Hell · 2023-11-26T16:34:57+00:00

“Separated” under the same roof. Took the kids for a few days out of town without her. But this back half of the week off has been beyond lonely. I cannot wait to get back to work next week but wait….i get a Jury duty summons for Monday.

Title	First Divorced Holiday
Author	MulberryWright
Upvotes	60
Comments	45
Date	November 23, 2023 3:18 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1823ejh/first_divorced_holiday/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/first-divorced-holiday.1239164 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239164

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