How do I get a idgaf attitude?

Neo-Rio · 2022-10-24T04:32:56+00:00

The older you get, the more you will realize just how much bullshit there is out there in the world. Most everyone is lying to you, or unwittingly believing in a whole load of rubbish.

Also as you're closer to the end than you are in the beginning of life then you begin to look back and wonder what the hell you were worried about when you were young. Your only wish is that you were young again and could take what you know now back with you.

Most young people worry if they're good looking enough - failing to realize that you're never going to look any better because age is going to slowly make you look even worse.

Also they worry about what their school friends think of them. Truth is that once school is finished that you're likely never going to see them again anyway and you can begin again in a new place.

Yes - travel is definitely worth doing. Going to another place, seeing what absolute nonsense they worry themselves with in their daily lives, noting all their limiting beliefs, etc. All of it will shine a light on your culture and where you currently live and you'll start noticing the layers of bullshit when you get back home. And life will never be the same again.

Also the book 'The subtle art of not giving a F***' may well be worth a read.

JustinianIV · 2022-10-24T04:33:31+00:00

Realize you’re dying. We all are, slowly. Every moment, every opportunity you have is precious and once it goes, you will never get it back. You don’t have time to waste life’s moments waiting, worrying, regretting. None of this matters besides what makes life beautiful, and those are the experiences you miss out on when you get in your head. Ask yourself, how would you behave if you knew you were gonna die tomorrow; would you care what your friend thinks about your taste in music? Would you hesitate to say hi to that girl? No, you would finally stop being afraid to live. Why? Because you realized it’s gonna end, and you have to make the most of it while you’re here. Well, hopefully you and I, and anyone else reading this, still have quite a while longer to live, but it shouldn’t really change anything because the outcome is the same.

Skizznitt · 2022-10-24T06:27:26+00:00

You just start living for you, it's pretty much a flip of a switch man. Who gives a shit? We're all tiny little specs floating around in a tiny little spec in a universe that is incomprehensively large. Nothing we do matters in the grand scheme of things, nothing we do will change a thing in the universe. Life is fleeting, you might as well just do what you want to do before you face the great void. Leave this life with no regrets.

Least-Recording-2073 · 2022-10-24T05:30:06+00:00

You just gotta do it man! Just the other day I approached this brunette chick in the Chick Fil A line at the mall. There were plenty people around, but I didn't care, because I've done it enough in the past. We had a good convo, but she was married. I bid her a goodbye afterwards, but she appreciated my confidence. There aren't any shortcuts to this man, you gotta take the stairs. You'll get there!

NewCommonSensei · 2022-10-24T14:41:59+00:00

I think you should read up on Stoicism.

First rule is to only care about things you can control.

2022-10-24T04:51:29+00:00

It’s like flipping a light switch. You don’t have to mentally prepare for it, it’s not a colonoscopy. Just stop caring what others think, especially women.

Strategy-Important · 2022-10-24T14:45:30+00:00

Easy. Don’t show emotion, stay on your grind. Never let them know they they get to you. You simply stop giving a fuck about anything.

g3wb3r · 2022-10-24T04:25:44+00:00

Leaving the place where you were born / grew up will make it easier for you to escape the matrix mentally .. better if its a different country with a culture that is not your own .. allowing you to separate from any CULTure

Travis_Varga · 2022-10-24T04:27:55+00:00

Fundamentally, start enjoying life and doing what ever you reason is best for your life. There’s stuff you can learn to make that easier, but you’ll still have to do that.

Doofenshmirtzzzzz · 2022-10-24T05:45:30+00:00

abundance

Able-Ad-6384 · 2022-10-24T14:31:14+00:00

This is what worked for me:

1) Do everything possibly can with things you have control over. Things like being phsyically fit, having a good appearance, clothes, grooming, etc. When it comes to work and commitments, do what you said you'll do. Work hard on progressing your career. Simply, just be the best version of yourself.

2) Once you're done with step 1, realize that you've done everything you can, if anything wrong happens, you can't control it, you can't have everything you want. However, if you truly follow step 1, you'll get good results and you'll be satisfied and proud of yourelf. Realize that you can control only what you can control.

3) Don't settle for things you don't want. Don't settle for a woman that you don't find attractive. Dont' settle for a job that you hate or don't like. Set standards for yourself. Go after the things that you want.

4) Dont seek happiness. What's happiness anyway? Dopamine? That's BS. Rather, seek meaning. seek meaningful relationships, meaningful jobs, deeper connections with friends/partners/acuqintences

5) People don't care about what you do as much as you think they do. Do you thing, don't be apologetic. And if you were following the steps above, the importance of what people think of you will gradually fade.

Once I followed those steps above, I noticed a huge difference in my life and found myself more pleased with my life and my self.

123franky123 · 2022-10-24T05:14:55+00:00

Cold showers

mgarro385 · 2022-10-24T12:22:25+00:00

Pick up the book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson. It's a quick read but is incredibly eye opening.

Environmental_Lie561 · 2022-10-24T06:25:39+00:00

Everyone is replaceable

Fromthemudthelotus · 2022-10-24T08:26:09+00:00

Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.

mugear_bahamut · 2022-10-24T15:55:01+00:00

I recently got into this mindset. I’ve always tried to comprehend what my life motto “Memento Mori” meant, and now I understand. It’s really just like flipping a switch.

With romance, just don’t give fck if your partner is cheating or anything. If that kind of relationship doesn’t suit you break up, or divorce if she’s your wife. You’ll eventually find someone that truly understands you, or maybe you won’t. Who gives a fck? Just enjoy your singleness and play around. I used to have severe depression but it disappeared in a flash when I flipped the switch. You can do it too.

dud230 · 2022-10-24T16:54:54+00:00

I just make myself feel tired. When you're tired, you won't care that much.

Crixusgannicus · 2022-10-24T09:34:11+00:00

Practice.

DeanG30 · 2022-10-24T09:45:36+00:00

This is a complex area, it would be easy for me to say just stop caring about what others think and take some time to ask yourself who you are as a person and what is important to you and then realise this person who you care about their opinion of who you are has no reflection and no meaning of your worth.

But if you are like most people this is not gonna get tho the route of your problem. The caring about what people think is not coming from the conscious part of the mind its coming from a deeper place and the thing you need to do is locate that part.... so close your eyes now, and imagine you are in a situation where you are caring about what others think, really ponder and see if you can truly imagine being in that situation. now when the thoughts and feeling come in that start to care about what they are thinking ask yourself! what part of me is caring, where are these thoughts and feelings coming from?

keep repeating this exercise and try to answer that question. this is part one and if you can answer that question you are going to be a lot closer to liberation and can move on to part 2 which i am happy to discuss further with you

epimpstyle · 2022-10-24T10:49:14+00:00

I'm wondering how this IDGAF attitude will help you to pick up women because:

- If you see a woman surrounded by people I doubt you will go and try to approach her because in very rare cases the girl will give you her phone number when there are people around her. They don't want to be perceived as easy... nobody wants that, so it is clear that you can expect to a nice rejection. Even if you have IDGAF attitude, the girl will not have this attitude... they care about their image.

- If you are talking about IDGAF when you are rejected, then we are talking about something else, it is not IDGAF it is how you manage the rejection. You must remain polite and friendly because you know that in about a minute you will find someone else and you don't want that person to see that you are upset :-)

I doubt you can learn from a book or video because you can not learn how to swim from a book and the same is with picking up girls. You must go and feel every sensation... when you are rejected try to think what you feel (not what you did), it will be like: "Ok... so this is how it feels when I am rejected" and try to analyze your body.."Now I'm blushing... let's see if I sweat... maybe I'm trembling?" and so on (later you know what to expect and you will realize that it is not that bad as it looks). If a woman doesn't want to talk to you, it is not your fault because you tried to talk to her, it is something with her and maybe she wants to be alone... you can not force her to talk to you, it is her decision and you must respect her decision. It must be simple.

chromacosm · 2022-10-24T11:37:25+00:00

Cold showers is the best advice I've seen here.

Rationalising why it's pointless to care what other people think only helps to a point. A lot of this anxiety is either evolutionary and/or picked up in childhood because you were (like a great many of us) forced to people please.

So it's in your nervous system (pun somewhat intended). I've had years of physiological stress responses when talking to women in spite of how much work I'd thought I'd done to not care what people thought.

But cold showers, intense exercise, breathing meditations (intense ones), sensory deprivation, regular sport, deep tissue massage etc - the brain/body connection is undeniable from a spiritual or scientific perspective so getting your body used to stress and then even enjoying it will help your brain be calmer under pressure and in situations where you kinda care about the end result (ie talking to someone you're interested in).

Imo

ant2k15 · 2022-10-24T12:01:03+00:00

You have to do things that make you happy. And not worry so hard about expectations. You will eventually command the frame and be at your happiest. It’s constantly picking you over every other mother fucker on the planet. Selfish kinda but not really. They can get bent. Only one life.

richion07 · 2022-10-24T13:11:03+00:00

Watch Fight Club and download Tyler Durden’s personality

DanniManniDJT · 2022-10-24T13:28:22+00:00

A trick I use sometimes is asking what if it goes wrong, and then accepting that scenario already. What if I don’t get this job? What if that girl says no and my friends laugh at me? So what? Will you lose status? At least you had the balls to try. Your life quality the next day will be equally worst case. All fears are made in your own mind. At the end of the day, people are worrying too much about themselves to give a fuck about you. So why should you be afraid of what people in de midst of their own misery think about you, for a max. of 2 seconds per day. Which by the way you would’nt even know.

BlvckSkin · 2022-10-24T14:49:36+00:00

Learn the difference between you can and can't control in your life. Focus on what you can control, and the things you can't control you just walk away from them and leave them be.

ImaginaryDustyMuffin · 2022-10-24T16:49:25+00:00

I guess you should take a moment to ask yourself, “why do I care about this?” when it’s something you’re stressing or overthinking about, then stop caring if it’s not things/people/places that are important to you. Live for you, live by your morals, self reflection may help.

Otec_Fedor · 2022-10-24T18:29:10+00:00

A couple of points:

Giving a fuck about something isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes it saves your life, other times it keeps you out of jail or helps you not become homeless, etc.

As you age, you naturally run out of fucks to give. You also become wiser and realize that many things in life are not worth worrying about. The problem is, since we are in the seduction subreddit, that many women, especially younger women, also DGAF about you if you're old. You become invisible to them and no matter how wise you are and how you DGAF about anything, it doesn't really help you seduce her. Think of it this way: imagine a 60yo man. Other than paying, there is no way he can go out and pick up a 25 yo girl. Maybe he can in the Philippines or whatever, but he will probably still need to pay at some point.

rlgjr3 · 2022-10-24T21:20:37+00:00

Try not following advice on Reddit for a while and see if your thoughts improve

edjohn88 · 2022-10-24T04:17:44+00:00

I feel like this is the skeleton key… everything would work if I could just flip a switch and have the “fuck it” to do everything I dream of.

It seems like I’ll get one or two nights a month where I just wing it and get into flow state and the other 28 nights I just want to be an introvert and go to bed.

It’s like we need to hack our own brains and tweak our value systems before it even matters whether we have game or not.

Principatus · 2022-10-24T14:21:55+00:00

If you’re giving too much of a shit specifically about women, and you haven’t gotten laid in a year or more, try paying for sex once a month or so. You’ll have your needs satisfied so you won’t be too concerned whether women like you or not, and that’ll make you more confident and attractive in general. At the very least you won’t be needy or desperate anymore.

mundqnity · 2022-10-24T04:20:30+00:00

You can go to any tattoo shop

EDIT: I thought you said tattoo parlor 😂🤣😂

Shintaigou · 2022-10-24T05:44:39+00:00

You just need to be more understanding on how people act or react to things. Sometimes people just want to make things up, so as long as you are educated and well informed you tend to care less about situations because you can see the bigger picture. Assumptions always happen but information is more valuable. People will lie but the truth will always prevail thus giving you a sense of mind. You can also tell yourself people just don’t care about you so you shouldn’t care about them. One of my secrets is that I always insult myself and believe I’m trash or shit, so if anybody even irritates me a little bit they are worse than trash and it allows me to pretend I’m the main character saying anime stuff to myself. Talk to yourself more and figure things out on your own and you can realize you get more answers and peace from yourself than other people. Lastly I can’t stress this enough but if all else fails, just smoke a lot of weed, seriously it makes you adolescent and lazy but in hindsight it gives you that I don’t give a fuck attitude that people love I guess. Also focus on yourself not other people. You are your own best friend and no one else but yourself truly understand what you want or need instead of what other people want from you, all you need to do is believe in the bigger picture so don’t let idiocy or things like privilege or self right blind you from the path that the higher beings set out for you. In order to love you must love yourself, and no one can understand how to love you better than yourself.

pantheruler · 2022-10-24T10:47:17+00:00

I would tell you but I really don't give a fuck

Boethiah18 · 2022-10-24T05:55:30+00:00

Suffer from major depression for years which later turns to apathy

incognito3107 · 2022-10-24T06:46:50+00:00

Stop paying so much attention to other people. Realise that there are so much things that you can't control in life. But at least you can control your own behaviour and reactions. Don't give up on such power. Realise that there is no legit judge. It's about you empowering yourself to reach for what you want.

Murfdigidy · 2022-10-24T11:31:56+00:00

People go their whole life worried about what other people think of them, only to realize that everyone is too consumed in their own head to really give a shit about anyone but themselves.

Be you, do you, no fucks given... Literally have nothing to lose because people really don't care.

Wingerlar · 2022-10-24T11:41:58+00:00

I have no real advice, I think something is wrong with me because I don't care about anyone or anything. If I lost my family or my dog I'd be upset but I'd move in very quickly. I'm not sure you'd want my mindset being honest.

How did I get this way? Life has worn me down.

johnbugara · 2022-10-24T11:42:41+00:00

make your life so awesome you don't gaf if anyone chooses not to be a part because you're happy enough by yourself, and you actually become selective who to let in as to not rock the awesome boat

Temporary_Pair_5829 · 2022-10-24T11:51:46+00:00

stop giving a fuck .. that should do it

2022-10-24T13:13:04+00:00

I developed an attitude of acceptance, that is, accepting that many things in this world just are the way they are, and for the most part it's beyond my control, and therefore not my responsibility.

One huge part of it as well is accepting that you don't always need to feed your ego, especially when it comes to what others think of you. Not everyone in the world is going to like you, people are going to misunderstand you

dman5005 · 2022-10-24T14:01:54+00:00

Just don't give a fuck

150420throwaway · 2022-10-24T14:10:27+00:00

Experience
mindset
Whatever happens you’re still improving

darktice41 · 2022-10-24T14:16:29+00:00

Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I watch the Pale Blue Dot. Really helps relax me, hope it helps someone else as well. https://youtu.be/GO5FwsblpT8

ResponsibleSeries411 · 2022-10-24T14:18:43+00:00

Get thing you care about in your life. Work, hobbies, meanfull relationship etc...

Once you worry about your next big presentation at work + the gig you are doing on the weekend with your group + your relationship with your long lost brother + your budget + your next vacation trip etc... the opinion of jeanine from comptability or stacy from this party last friday will not be last in your priorities list.

That the core concept behind the advice "being happy alone" and "not put your life on the shoulder of your partner"

And remember this mindset shouldn't change right away when you enter a relationship. Basically a higher rating in your worries priorities must be eanr by your partner, not given right away because you put a label on the relation

Hcdx · 2022-10-24T14:19:19+00:00

I mean for me it happened when I was homeless and not one friend lifted a pinky to even give me a loaf of bread. I stopped caring about anyone outside of my family at that exact point

Unusual_Library_197 · 2022-10-24T14:57:35+00:00

I don’t understand the problem… 🤣🤣🤣

Numerous-Guide5097 · 2022-10-24T17:05:47+00:00

Go through some more bullshit bad things, then you’ll realize your old problems weren’t that big of a deal in comparison

Repulsive-Fee393 · 2022-10-24T17:54:26+00:00

So here’s my take, you tend not to give a fuck when you’re in control, ie you’ve got this, so you don’t worry about it. People generally get this wrong, they think that not giving a fuck and being at the mercy of the forces around them they’re chill, it’s not the case, it’s a nightmare to have your life dictated by external forces. By being in control of your own life you can predict the trajectory of it, and if you’ve done what you needed to do then by all means stay relaxed.

idkbbitswatev · 2022-10-24T18:00:14+00:00

Dgaf

freespirit1963TJ · 2022-10-24T18:16:33+00:00

The first step is to take inventory on the number of people whose opinions really mean something to you. This list should be relatively small. The rest of the folks who are either directly in your life, co-workers, people you attend school with, peripheral associate's opinions really shouldn't matter at all. Then you take into consideration siblings (if you have any) unless they play a big role in your life, why do you even care what they think? Obviously, this is my opinion, but the dynamic that we are discussing has had a huge impact on our society. A great deal of it has been predicated by thoughts and behaviors that resulted from interactions on social media. There are many things that social media have created. Two huge fundamentals that impact this are; 1. People are really wrapped up in being in, "the cool kids club"...they want to think, act, dress and shape their lives to be highly acceptable. 2. Social has created an environment in which being, "right" is truly an obsession people become deeply involved in vicious arguments with other people, who the most likely do not know, most likely will never meet and neither parties opinion will directly impact the issue that they're arguing about. This is such a huge issue that social media platforms employ, "fact checkers" to, for the lack of better terms, either fuel the fire or referee. I am, and always have been my own person, free spirit, free soul. Two things, if you eliminate being concerned about what people think about you, your sense of freedom and independence will be off the charts. Secondly you can learn to become a truly independent thinking person. That demographic is seriously challenged nowadays. Good luck.

pistachio02 · 2022-10-24T18:48:37+00:00

Figure out your life purpose

MudProfit · 2022-10-24T19:19:44+00:00

Daygame, but only game in places that you don't visit regularly. That way, you'll learn how to face rejection without anyone but you ever knowing that you're failing

PacBoiLar · 2022-10-24T19:41:57+00:00

Have something in your life that provides you enough confidence where bitches don’t impact your self esteem

UnifiedField9000 · 2022-10-24T21:31:32+00:00

Unfortunately the only surefire way is experience. I’ve gone from hero to zero and back again so many times that it all feels the same now haha. In the realms of seduction, whenever I get with my buddies we only talk about the times we fucked up, because it’s so much funnier. Over time you realise that learning game really is a game

Teddyzam · 2022-10-24T22:03:08+00:00

I highly recommend u to read 29 ways to stop caring what women and others think by mark summers

PrettyBoiWayne · 2022-10-24T22:08:18+00:00

Meditation and experience. A strong meditation habit helped me personally let go of anxious intrusive thoughts, which is really what the “idgaf” attitude is at its core, just a lack of anxiety. I remember one of the girls on the Red Scare podcast described being an alpha male as “just having a lack of an internal monologue”. If you train yourself to think about nothing in the moment you approach you’ve achieved what I think you’re looking for.

dropmeoffhere · 2022-10-24T22:27:58+00:00

Get girlfriend. Communicate poorly. Girlfriend breaks up with you. Idgaf attitude engaged.

bowtech3dhunter · 2022-10-24T22:36:17+00:00

Start smoking weed!

wetsock10 · 2022-10-24T23:20:38+00:00

Realizing we all die in the end:)

anonredditqs · 2022-10-25T00:40:51+00:00

By really considering the consequences of others towards you in an explicit, concrete way. That, and most of the time carrying too much is usually a sign you’re expending more energy caring than they/it is.

Somebody thinks I’m ugly? Well let’s see…unless they’re willing to come up to me, say so, and possibly start an physical altercation or undermine me it literally doesn’t matter nor affects me physically.

I’m expending more energy by letting it affect me than they are.

Mobile_Glass6680 · 2022-10-25T00:56:31+00:00

read all of robert greenes books and stfup oh and that one book on assertiveness i forget her name

Mean-Fee2631 · 2022-10-25T02:22:49+00:00

You get an idgaf attitude by getting rid of the word “should” from your brain completely. You you want. If you are thinking “should I care about this?” Change that to “do I want to care about this?” Or just “do I care about this?” Be real with yourself and most things also fall into place

Yamochao · 2022-10-25T03:21:36+00:00

Seriously: By caring about other things.

Read "How to not give a fuck" by Mark Manson, it's a seriously excellent book.

Ngaf is all about finding what you truly value and what imbues life with real meaning for you. Once you do this, it's easier to let go of ego and silly things.

Though, if you do this in earnest, you might find that interest in 'seduction' is really a proxy for other, more important unmet needs.

Horror-Background-79 · 2022-10-25T15:37:30+00:00

Love yourself Other people aren’t thinking about you as much as you think they are …and if they aren’t paying your bills(aka loving and supporting you)… who cares what they think!

Sgsfsf · 2022-10-26T03:19:51+00:00

Wear expensive cologne

Title	How do I get a idgaf attitude?
Author	blaubarschbube27
Upvotes	135
Comments	86
Date	October 24, 2022 4:02 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/yc1kcb/how_do_i_get_a_idgaf_attitude/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-get-a-idgaf-attitude.1247819 https://theredarchive.com/post/1247819

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