I quit

frecklie · 2021-09-01T23:38:57+00:00

I'm sure you are going to get a lot of advice here on dating but I do think that there are some challenges that are harder to face, and more CRITICAL to address, than dating challenges. I believe you need to find peace and self worth in your own heart before dating opportunities will truly open to you. Your mood is one thing, and listen I believe you that it's a hindrance, but it's not the main issue. It is that core sense of purpose, that 'vitality' that you feel is missing. You need that. Why are you here, what is your story? You can change that! For me, I dropped everything and moved to South Africa when I was 20, starting working in Kruger Park and volunteering with kids that had AIDS. I live back in the states now, but that experience has been such FUEL for me, you know? Find that fuel.

AelfredRex · 2021-09-02T01:35:47+00:00

You're trying way too hard, turning yourself into a mass of desperation, anxiety, and insecurity. It's not doing your depression any good.

Give up the PUA bollocks and just let it happen. Instead of forcing lots of weak interactions, let a few strong interactions happen and you may finally find her.

somegreatexperience8 · 2021-09-02T01:14:42+00:00

Lol 3 months? One of the most proficient pick up artist spent 10 YEARS working on his craft.

Quit if you must, but 3 months is nothing.

Edit: didnt realize you had chronic depression (didn't read everything ATM.) Hope everything is good.

zapadz · 2021-09-02T08:27:11+00:00

I suggest IFS therapy and David Tian's stuff. Basically the idea is that it's hard when you have to put on a 'front' and not be yourself and most of the time people see through it and turn it off. But you can become much better at dating by breaking your fronts and finding your true self which automatically attracts compatible people.

myartificialself · 2021-09-02T04:37:54+00:00

You sound like you're a nice fella. What are you looking for, exactly? One night stands? Flings? An SO?

You don't seem like a Don Juan, tbh. They say you can learn to be one, act like one, but that doesn't mean you will enjoy the effort it requires. To each their own.

You seem more passive, introverted. Find women that are into that, or that have your kind of energy. You don't need to put up a facade that is making you miserable.

Dating is always hard and finding one that you share a connection is even harder. But that's where that special one can appear. It is not about those 1000 dates that failed, it's about date 1001, the one that worked out.

focus_flow69 · 2021-09-02T06:50:37+00:00

You won't have any success if you continue to believe you are not somebody that is not enjoyable to be around. Honestly, I understand you have depression and totally empathize with you. But from my point of view, just reading the way you talk negatively about yourself based on all these limiting beliefs was mentally draining. Your negative talk and perception of yourself and who you are as a person turns itself into a self fulfilling prophecy. All you have are limiting beliefs that you tell yourself over and over again until your brain has no choice but to accept them as truth and manifest them in your life. You must break out of these limiting beliefs and train your mind to think differently. I know it's easier said than done, but I would say you need to focus on yourself, self confidence and ability to socialize and connect with others before even thinking about dating.

Also celebrate your successes and not just your failures. You took action and approached more women than a lot of men ever do in their life time. A few even reacted well initially, but you seem to be stuck with no progress on the actual dates themselves. That's fine, but maybe you've learned some lessons along the way, and you will try something different next time. If one thing isn't working, you gotta learn from your mistakes and try something different.

recursivePasta · 2021-09-02T01:58:29+00:00

So I'm assuming you are the nice social guy before learning game? If so you problem is your you are not spiking enough emotions, learn push/pull, teasing, verbal escalation etc. Throw these in whenever convo stays platonic for too long.

I'm 2 months in, the opposite of you, you undergame and I overgame, my wing is like you, we kinda learned from each other and now our game is much better.

Do you know the Value - Comfort model? You have too much comfort very little value.

You obliviously take a massive amount of action, pm me if you want, we can exchange some insights maybe that can help.

FlatDistance5 · 2021-09-02T13:02:28+00:00

I’m going through the same thing in a way.

I’ve approached well over 1000 women. Recently I’ve been getting a lot of meh energy. It takes the wind out of my sails for wanting to continue to approach.

But here where I’ve fucked up at.

I let myself go

I’ve picked up about 50 pounds in weight. I don’t feel as well, I don’t get as many positive responses when I approach. When I was in better shape I was getting multiple dates per week. (I didn’t know how to properly set dates so they rarely converted to lays).

I would say this what do you look like, what’s your style like?

I’m not black pill. But looks are a BIG part of the equation for female attraction. Not in terms of height but in how well put together you are and look.

This is what I would do, and this is what I’m currently doing myself. Set a date a year from now. Look at your body, fashion hobbies. Tell yourself I’m going to add 1 to 2 new hobbies. I’m going have a better wardrobe and im going to be in better shape. Then plan it out and execute.

For that year minimally approach women, I would only approach women who make my dick hard with clothes on.

I’ll tell you a secret op, now that you’ve actually gotten accustomed to approaching, if you stop anxiety will come back. But instead months to get back over it, let’s say you didn’t see the girl you wanted to approach the whole year, it’ll take you about 5-10 approaches you’ll be right back to being smooth.

In the end the fashion fitness, and adding new hobbies is going to be about a. How attracted women will become to you b. How much better about you’ll be feeling about yourself

TLDR: 1 calendar year maximally focus on self improvement in 3 areas fitness/fashion/hobbies. Minimally focus on approaching. After that year see how much better it is

TheNoobtologist · 2021-09-02T13:37:04+00:00

For someone with chronic depression, you seem to be handling things exceptionally well and have a healthy way of interpreting your setbacks and not internalizing them with negative self talk. There’s nothing wrong with taking a break. Give yourself some credit. You’ve done way more than a lot of people here. When you’re ready, give it another go.

MetaphysicPhilosophy · 2021-09-02T02:14:12+00:00

Your problem is that you have too many expectations and are not giving yourself any credit. You have made it a long way. If you have conquered your approach anxiety then you already have improved a lot. It is a growing process, the results are not what matters. What matters is how much you have grown and learned.

But you also have to realize that you can't just go brute force into PUA without ever looking at your mistakes and revising your methods. That is like going to the gym and doing a super hard workout without knowing anything about proper exercise technique or diet and expecting to have immediate results. You have to look at what you might be doing wrong. Maybe it is your vibe. Maybe you are not being confident or charming enough. Maybe you are coming off as too strong or aggressive. One key thing to learn is calibration. You have to understand how to read women and react accordingly. This is what makes the difference between good game and bad game. If you can not read the girl and understand her body language and tonality then the girl will get turned off. I think you need to focus more on refining your game now, instead of just doing constant approaches. Try to approach and then reflect on what worked and what didn't. If you need more information on specific aspects of game then don't be afraid to research. You can even consider one-on-one coaching to get yourself in the right mindset.

Also don't let the results of your approaches determine your worth. Women don't define your worth, you do. PUA has always been about self-improvement personally. Whether it's conquering anxiety, gaining confidence, understanding women better. It is never about the results. Results come as a side effect of what you learn and your overall improvement. So don't be too hard on yourself my dude, you are doing great. Most guys can't even approach a single girl and I can say that about most the guys I know. You are already on the path least followed and it is definitely a tougher path, but it is the right one, so stay on it brother!

what-diddy-what-what · 2021-09-02T06:51:30+00:00

People tend to be intuitive. they can tell when you're trying too hard or not really being yourself. You're exhausting yourself trying to be someone you're not. You are also not in a healthy place. You are depressed. Women don't want to be with someone who is depressed, and they don't want to take up a project to fix you. You need to fix you. Get therapy if you haven't done so. Get medicated if you haven't done so. Learn to love yourself. Find your passions. Pursue them for the sole purpose of satisfying yourself. Ideally align your efforts to those passions that promote some form of socialising. Only through making a whole you can you expect someone to be interested in accompanying you through your life journey.

Shackswim · 2021-09-02T08:33:47+00:00

Part of the problem might be an “all or nothing” mentality. Same concept as people going on crash diets or unrealistic exercise regimes: it is not sustainable, and as soon as they fail to keep up, they quit. I’d say the focus should be on finding balance and how to make it sustainable for yourself. That might be 1-2 times a week perhaps. Including some rest and time to reflect. And even more time to make sure you are working on yourself as people have commented. Also I might be wrong but it sounds like you really force these interactions and not really enjoy them, since you find them very hard once you stop pushing yourself. Maybe try to focus on appreciating and enjoying the conversations for what they are? You can even play around with your perspective, not to be liked by others but to be entertained by others, demand an interesting conversation, be weird if you like, be playful, whatever that means for you, what’s there to lose?

Paltenburg · 2021-09-02T10:10:12+00:00

Good write up!

I was surprised by:

"It only took 2-3 days for my social anxiety to come back in full-force."

Because you made very good progress!

I could approach literally anyone and remain completely calm and composed

Don't you think it's possible to integrate this newfound skill in your day-to-day life? Like, just keep it on the backburner, talk to anyone on the bus, or someone in the supermarket who walks by..

bundy93 · 2021-09-02T13:30:39+00:00

Never give up on your dreams. Embrace you failures my friend. Success is for the ones who don't quit. Youre already a champ by losing your initial approach anxiety. Keep on grinding!

caesarfecit · 2021-09-02T14:00:29+00:00

Well what I took away from that is, your vibe is wrong. That's what people mean when they say "the stink of desperation". You're noseblind to it, but all the women you meet see it and react to it. I suspect even your "positive vibe" is off as well, especially given the amount of effort it takes.

What you do correctly is diagnose the root of the problem, your state of mind. That is something that women pick up on.

One of the most important lessons of seduction is - whatever baggage you're carrying around will hold you back. Sexual hangups, low self-esteem, low socialization/social anxiety. All these things are game-killers.

And the secret is to go back to basics and focus on yourself.

My personal theory of depression is that it's what happens when our stress-to-meaning ratio is lopsided. What is the natural human response to pointless suffering? To shut down, to conserve energy, and hide. Do this for long enough and it becomes a habit.

How do you correct it? By adding in some more meaning to your life. Suffering may be unavoidable in life, but you can pick your suffering. Pick the suffering that builds you back up.

If you're unhappy about your physical appearance? Diet and exercise.

Unhappy about your money? Upgrade your skills and grind your career.

Unhappy about your non-sexual social life? Spend more time getting out there and being with friends and family?

Have trouble taking risks and putting yourself out there? Face your fear and you will find courage.

Practice is the only way to truly improve with women, but if you're going into it with the wrong mindset, all you're doing is punishing yourself, confusing her, and learning bad habits that will hold you back.

Sometimes the best thing to do as a student of seduction is to unlearn and go back to basics with a student's mindset. That's how you cure yourself of bad habits.

Hope that helps!

2021-09-02T14:22:10+00:00

3 months is nothing. Try a year.

dreameater42 · 2021-09-02T14:56:34+00:00

the number one thing women actually find the most attractive in a man is his vitality

this has nothing to do with women. no one likes hanging around people who act like black holes of depression.

pussydownsyndorme · 2021-09-01T23:44:33+00:00

watch the youtuber hamza ahmed

somegreatexperience8 · 2021-09-01T23:27:28+00:00

What will you do now?

RealHumanBeing2020 · 2021-09-02T01:18:36+00:00

Don’t give up. Keep on pushing.

AvocadoCatnip · 2021-09-02T09:25:17+00:00

You are not remotely special.

Whatever error you are making, someone had figured it out and documented it by 2009, latest. That's when the PUA community really started to fold.

Look; there are two products you need to study. IF you study them, and I mean completely consume them several times, you will figure out what the issue is and be able to fix it - then you can move on to the next issue.

1) Mystery's "How to Get Beautiful Women into Bed" - this is the Mystery Method manual. It was actually written by Lovedrop, who was trained by Tyler. You need to understand the M3 model.

M3 Model is NOT a technique, it's a map of the actual human mating ritual.

Do you see? Any time someone got laid, they followed it, whether they knew it or not. Any time someone did not get laid, they made an error described in the M3 model.

Read those last 2 paragraphs again until you understand them. This is the key to unlocking pickup. If you can grasp this key you can learn pickup/seduction successfully.

2) RSD's "The Blueprint Decoded". This explains why (1) works.

That's it. For bonus points, watch RSD Foundations, and whatever from David DeAngelo's Double Your Dating grabs you.

You would benefit from an RSD bootcamp. People don't understand RSD. Look, they created a laboratory and went out and decoded pickup.

THEN, they decoded how to teach pickup. THEN, they decoded how to train pickup coaches to teach pickup.

They are a technology company.

If some part of my reply turns you off, go back and read it until you understand it. I was there, at Project Hollywood, Tyler mentions me in the Blueprint in fact. They decoded pickup. It's done and dusted. It's fully documented. The work is complete.

You don't need to struggle you just need to study and practice.

And that said - I laid as many women through social circle as through cold approach. But that would never have happened either, if I didn't have the basics. I never even got that good - just got enough lays to realise that I was attractive to women - the opposite of what I learned in high school. That's all most of us ever needed.

j2bbt238 · 2021-09-02T00:25:14+00:00

It blows my mind that someone would cold approach 1-3 hours a day for 3 months. Do your friends and family know you do this? What do they think?

I would suggest smoking weed until you experience ego death before approaching again.

MalibuProducer77 · 2021-09-02T05:26:58+00:00

There are literally millions and millions of men feeling and going through what you're going through right now. I honestly don't know what to tell all of them. But in my honest opinion, I say keep improving all areas of your life and make you the first priority. If any girls come along that's you're interested in, go for it and see what can happen. But don't let dating/women be the prime focus in your life. Treat it like a side mission in a video game. Your main mission should be your purpose. Because your a man. Men need purpose, and to also build their empire. Stay in the gym, focus on your career/interests, and keep being the best YOU that you can be! In life, you can't force anything. Just attract bro. Like I said get your physique right, your mind right, and your money right, more females will definitely take notice in my opinion. But do it for yourself first, not them. I believe deeply in the Law of Attraction and practice it too. It helps so much when you really believe and put effort into it. That's why I mentioned what I mentioned earlier bro, JUST ATTRACT. That's your best option, and I'll tell that to every guy on here. Once you practice attracting, instead of forcing, you'll see things start to work in your favor. Combine focusing on all aspects of your life, gym career, interests, along with the Law of Attraction, you'll start to see what I'm talking about. You'll likely feel better on the inside, feel better about yourself, and won't feel the need to force anything :)

BarcaLiverpool · 2021-09-02T07:17:04+00:00

I can relate to your comment about Aspergers and having to do everything “manually”

truthbomb999 · 2021-09-02T10:04:26+00:00

After 3 months of near-daily and consistent work over the summer, I have come back with very few results.

That's because you wasted your time chasing girls vs working out. Should have spent 1-3 hours lifting and doing cardio and the women come to you

So after that last date, I decided that I “quit”, and that maybe there really was something fundamentally flawed with me.

It's all about muscles, money, and game although not in that order. Where and what kind of women you seek matter as well

rordog28 · 2021-09-02T02:20:34+00:00

Let me try hi is this guy causing a racket? It appears he runs a blindsided Pick up media by requests. ? Back side is frontside? Love is let?

rordog28 · 2021-09-02T02:18:08+00:00

Buy my ebook pimpquitwhorelie it’s the magic pill on Boneshifty.com Great free marketing on Rordog.com.au I’m Not very well Know yet so feedback will help women but like I said it’s the magic pill

shaggy1452 · 2021-09-02T17:36:58+00:00

You gotta ride it out when you’re feeling like this. When you’re on top of your game, it feels like the world is at your fingertips, like everything just falls into place, and when you’re in a slump, it feels like everything that can go wrong is going wrong. You gotta ride the slumps out of you wanna ride the highs again.

RedEyeBlackEye1 · 2021-09-02T17:46:28+00:00

THIS IS THE FXXKING PROBLEM THAT MOST PPL WILL NOT TELL YOU...it's NOT about WHATS being said but rather WHO is saying it.

The EXACT SAME THING said the EXACT SAME WAY with the EXACT SAME BODY LANGUAGE will hit COMPLETELY DIFFERENT for Chad (or Tyrone) than it will for YOU.

It's not just about Numbers game, cold approaching ungodly amount of females, hoping(praying) a few will throw you a bone as you "Sarge ahead" while "gaming chicks bro". Rather you should SIMULTANEOUSLY be self improving your Physical smv stats(hairstyle, facial hairstyle, grooming, physique, wardrobe, swagger, charisma, sex appeal) so that females will be MUCH MORE RECEPTIVE TO WHAT YOU ARE SAYING.

WHY? bc now the who is higher value so what's being said is taken as higher value.

See my post history for LOTS OF SELF IMPROVEMENT tips and shxt... good luck, homie.

GordonGecko69 · 2021-09-02T22:46:21+00:00

So, you tried your ass off for 3 WHOLE months in the midst of the biggest pandemic since the Spanish Flu and that’s all she wrote. Well, deuces…

2021-09-02T23:49:34+00:00

Stop wasting time.

Have you got an instagram going for you where you add every girl you approach? How good is it? Instagram is WAY easier than phonenumbers. Also, do you invite multiple girls to events? 1-on-1 dates are also mostly a waste of time.The way you're doing it, how much of an interaction goes on to the next one? Yep, nothing. You're resetting your results. STACK YOUR RESULTS, like going to the gym, you wanna build muscle/get stronger, lifting weights is just the thing you do in order to achieve that. You don't lift weights to lift weights.

ESP1138 · 2021-09-03T01:08:52+00:00

I quit a long time ago. I am unfuckable.

https://youtu.be/dgEj4Dwi-MM?t=17

Title	I quit
Author	somegreatexperience8
Upvotes	74
Comments	67
Date	September 1, 2021 11:09 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pg5eqi/i_quit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-quit.1277007 https://theredarchive.com/post/1277007

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