Is it possible to be an introvert and an alpha male?

blahdude1 · 2012-04-09T19:08:17+00:00

You say you are introverted and not assertive.

Its OK to be introverted. It just means that you tend to focus your thoughts and energies internally first.

It's not OK to not be assertive. You should be assertive about what is important to you, and get what you want out of life. This has nothing to do with being introverted/extroverted. It is all about whether you respect yourself. If you do, you live life on your own terms, and will be alpha in some form. Even if introverted, you will be alpha in a quiet way that commands respect.

atheistunicycle · 2012-04-09T15:35:25+00:00

Yes. It is possible, you just have to do it through body language rather than verbally. And TONS of practice. The first few times you will feel awkward.

baaaark · 2012-04-09T19:21:58+00:00

Being introverted is cool, but remember:

1) The fewer people you talk to, the fewer chances you have to hit it off. 2) Don't be shy. Introverts prefer to be around other people, but can be super charismatic and attractive. Shy guys are introverts out of fear, and usually insecure and/or socially anxious. Be an introvert for the right reasons. 3) Some don't understand introversion. You will be misunderstood by some. Many girls won't like you for being introverted, and you might not get as many chances as an extroverted guy. But there are more than enough women who like the introverted type to keep you happy. Even if only 5% of the girls in the world found you hot, you'd still be getting laid more than enough with an understanding of your game.

PublicStranger · 2012-04-09T17:28:52+00:00

I don't know what people mean when they say "alpha male", but I'm an introverted girl who strongly prefers introverted guys to extraverted guys. An extraverted guy just isn't going to get very far with me no matter how "alpha" he is. We're too different.

Now, an introverted person can be a leader and be well liked and well respected. You do not have to always try to take charge in order for people to look up to you when a hard decision needs to be made. My boyfriend and I are both introverted, for example, but both of us have highly charismatic, extraverted, charge-taking friends who nevertheless look to us for advice or guidance. My boyfriend is especially like this (I tend to dodge responsibility more than he does because it makes me anxious). He's not outgoing, he's passive, he spends most of his time alone. But when he's in a group of people, his social skills are good, he is confident (but not over-confident or arrogant, which people pick up on), he thinks independently and objectively, and he is fair. People trust him, pretty much instantaneously.

My dad is similar. He is extremely introverted, and yet he just exudes this sense of trustworthiness, honesty, and capability. People seem to naturally turn to him when they need a guide. He ends up in managerial positions over people far more outgoing than him, and he's damn good at it. For example, he worked as a manager at one place, and when he lost that job and started working somewhere else, his entire staff quit to go work for him at the new place. And yet most of the time he's not actively leading anybody or even thinking about other people; he's just keeping to himself, getting lost in his own thoughts. His employees (the ones who followed him to his new jobs) used to joke that "he's not the kind of man who notices minor details, like his hair being on fire". I have a cool dad.

If you are genuinely introverted—not just shy or socially anxious—don't bother trying to change yourself. You'll burn out and become depressed. As an introvert, you have a lot going for you. Play to your strengths. You'll never be able to compete with an extravert on their turf, but you can kick ass on your own turf.

StPaddysThrowaway · 2012-04-09T15:52:59+00:00

What's your idea of an alpha male?

grantmoore3d · 2012-04-09T15:55:29+00:00

Absolutely, but you probably will prefer to demonstrate it in more sutble ways. Start practicing being more assertive, if someone asks your opinion or what to do next, make a decision and stick to it confidently. In no way does it mean you HAVE to be the center of attention or externally expressive (ie dancing, life of party types).

chi_ronnie · 2012-04-09T17:30:06+00:00

The other day, Fred_Flintstone made this post, which includes an item about an ebook for low-effort PUA, which he says is good for introverts.

blahm3 · 2012-04-09T16:00:08+00:00

Absolutely fine to be an introverted Alpha. Great example is Don Draper. Hardly says anything but he is a man.

yokhai · 2012-04-09T20:43:42+00:00

Introvert does not imply supplication.

24rubikscube · 2012-04-09T21:10:37+00:00

There's plenty. I'm one myself. Some obstacles are tougher to overcome, some things you'll be more natural.

creativecoding · 2012-04-09T22:49:33+00:00

[deleted]

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samon1 · 2012-04-10T00:04:35+00:00

The Alpha male thing is getting over hyped in seddit. Dont worry about it so much. Most of my friends, who hook up with the most women, are as far from "alpha" as you can get. Develop a style that suits your personality. If you are a quietly confident guy but dont feel the need to shout about it, good for you, stick to it, it will shine through.

dantaeos · 2012-04-10T00:38:44+00:00

You can hear about and see plenty of example of men who speak little words but garner respect trust just through their body language. Usually these guys have a military background or a fucked up past. However I don't see how you can replicate this without looking like some shy pussy.

I used to always consider myself an introvert but really I was just afraid to speak up. You have to voice what you're thinking, speak with everybody and be the fun guy that people want to be around. It's a skill and it takes effort to do (like overcoming approach anxiety) but it will benefit you.

edbenz · 2012-04-10T00:51:55+00:00

If there's anything I've learned in my MTG 3680 class it's that you can be an introvert and still appear not to be. My professor is apparently an introvert, but he has had some of the coolest jobs in the world all talking to large groups of people or negotiating with foreign countries. You can learn to be assertive even if you're an introvert naturally.

2012-04-10T03:30:43+00:00

sasuke comes to mind. actually, most protagonists in asian media are introvert alpha males. it's just in the west where the culture says that alpha males are extroverts, because there is more value in western culture placed on extroversion

watersign · 2012-04-10T03:39:46+00:00

Many actors are introverts, being alpha is a state of mind.

callmedood · 2012-04-09T15:56:12+00:00

I used to be an introvert. Let me tell you something, being extroverted is a lot more fun. You're life will change, for the better. Try to become extroverted slowly, step by step. Go out 1-2 times with friends or even by yourself for a month, then try going out 3-4 times, then 4-8 times. Try talking to strangers (not just HBs). Some of the most interesting conversations you can have are with with random people (older men/woman you aren't trying to seduce).

pooperdooper · 2012-04-10T00:07:53+00:00

yeah its called an omega.

Title	Is it possible to be an introvert and an alpha male?
Author	atheistunicycle
Upvotes	54
Comments	85
Date	April 9, 2012 3:21 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/s0vkh/is_it_possible_to_be_an_introvert_and_an_alpha/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-possible-to-be-an-introvert-and-an-alpha.1331069 https://theredarchive.com/post/1331069

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