Why do girls think I'm "cute" and not "hot" etc..

ronniefinn · 2015-09-09T10:25:30+00:00

In my personal experience as a woman, what transforms a guy from cute to sexy isn't as much to do with how they look, but more with how they move and act. (Relaxed, confident, content with whatever's going on)

I quickly googled a confident body language thing and it seems to have pretty good tips on how to appear more confident.

http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/confident_body.htm

jros14 · 2015-09-09T14:44:28+00:00

I've found many women don't view "cute" negatively like guys do. Have you ever seen a girl see a guy she's attracted to and go "hey he's cute!" Yes, that happens all the time.

Last night a girl stopped making out with me to exclaim "you're so cute!!" and then she kept passionately making out with me.

The issue is not that these girls consider you cute. The issue is that you have negative connotations for that word that the women saying don't necessarily share.

timacles · 2015-09-09T15:08:22+00:00

Cute essentially means, attractive but not sexual. Puppies are cute. Kids are cute.

You could be coming off as charismatic and dynamic and all that BS, but no one actually thinks you're getting laid and the girls don't think you're a sexual threat to them. Your appearance might have something to do with it, but its more how you carry yourself.

If girls are calling you cute, and you aren't sexually escalating them, then you are just that, a cute little harmless puppy.

HollyHooligan · 2015-09-09T13:40:46+00:00

As a woman, I'd say embrace the cute. I understand where people are coming from telling you to do this or that to appear more 'confident' or 'manly', but I don't see the point. Know who you are and become confident in that, and act in a way that follows that. I'm bisexual, so make whatever of that that you will, but I would take a "cute" and sweet guy over a muscly over confident "stud" ANY day of ANY week. Maybe you're looking for the wrong kind of women?

Strangerouss · 2015-09-09T09:58:11+00:00

Looking cute is a great start. If you want to look hot.. grow some facial hair and some muscle I guess. If you get hit on by gay guys you may be giving them too much eye contact.

2015-09-09T13:06:06+00:00

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john2kxx · 2015-09-09T15:57:15+00:00

In my experience, women who use the term "cute" are much higher quality than the ones who say "hot".

OilyB · 2015-09-09T17:00:57+00:00

I've discussed this a number of times with women and came to the conclusion that certain women do find some guys cute (in the teddybear way) but a certain kind of women find a guy 'cute' but try to avoid words like 'sexy' or 'hot'. They tend to think it's too specific and sex oriented. These women also often don't distinguish between cute men and sexy men in their expression of what they're feeling. They just blurt out the first positive word they can think of, which is 'Cute!'

So, tip: on first notice, take all 'cutes' seriously but as a second step, try to find out whether they react to you in a sexual manner. Or increase the sexual pressure with body language and naughty questions. At the same time, be courageous enough to be cheeky and naughty in expressing yourself - despite playfully expressed yelps of offendedness.

letsgetrandy · 2015-09-09T17:13:43+00:00

are you short?

TheEyesHaveEyes · 2015-09-09T15:33:13+00:00

Alternatively, what are the differences between cute, hot, & handsome? I usually get the "you're so handsome" kind of deal but rarely ever get the "you're hott" (with two t's)

Jaereth · 2015-09-09T15:43:41+00:00

Cute but not hot? I'm guessing your thin but not muscular.

Hit the gym and put on some muscles until you can see some ripples in your arms and abs. You'll go from cute to hot fast.

V4refugee · 2015-09-09T20:19:39+00:00

Do you even lift bro?

2015-09-09T13:34:13+00:00

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AmericanSteve · 2015-09-09T17:00:55+00:00

I am in my late 40s and was considered cute for most of my life. My advice would be to ignore the women that call you cute. If they are looking for a bad boy with a penetrating state you might want to evaluate whether they are the woman for you. Don't become some POA douchebag to pick up women in bars.

Believe me, there are plenty of women out there that are looking for a cute guy. Find someone that is looking for your type rather than changing your type. Being yourself is a real demonstration of confidence.

RP-on-AF1 · 2015-09-09T13:26:06+00:00

You're needy and seek validation from women. If a woman sees your desire for approval (and women are pros at this, the most nuanced expression or gesture might give you away) she will see you as a child (below her) than as a man (above her). This is seduction. She should be seeking validation from you.

ResistingTemptation · 2015-09-09T14:18:47+00:00

As an Chinese guy with a naturally round face and no facial hair, I doubt I'll ever get 'sexy' from a first glance face profile. I always get 'cute' but in all honesty I'm not complaining. Better 'cute' than 'urgh' :)

geft · 2015-09-09T14:08:41+00:00

don't smile so much and get a little facial hair.. also probably muscles. don't be funny be cocky

purpleblazed · 2015-09-09T14:14:13+00:00

Well it's still a way to say that you're attractive, but just with slightly different ways. Cute = dateable & hot = fuckable , with exceptions of course. And as someone else said, you might be holding eye contact with guys for too long. Direct unbroken eye contact is a pretty easy way to tell if another guy is gay.

ThrowawayPUA · 2015-09-09T15:17:09+00:00

Cute vs. hot has nothing to do with your appearance. Women already like your appearance. Dressing better ororking out and getting big muscles will not help at all.

What matters is your attitude. Attitude is always more important than your appearance, no matter how ugly or handsome you are. If women don't think you're hot, you're not creating attraction. In order to create attraction, you must express your sexual intentions through escalation.

Mindsink · 2015-09-09T15:20:43+00:00

Your confidence and the mental image you have of yourself. Look at #1) "Psycho-Cybernetics" by Maxwell Maltz, M.D.,F.I.C.S [1960 ISBN 0671700758]. Get that version, not the new one.

2015-09-09T16:51:55+00:00

Who cares?

diversification · 2015-09-09T17:01:17+00:00

I think the way you dress is worth considering as well. A lot of guys don't really consider what type of aesthetic they're cultivating when they put on clothes. I could write pages on things that should be considered, but I really don't have the time or patience for that. If you want to post pictures of some typical outfits and blur your face I'll critique them if you wish. There are tons of things you probably would never think about that could be hurting you in this regard. Up to you.

2015-09-09T17:29:30+00:00

You give too many shits. Being cute is good.

2015-09-09T17:42:19+00:00

You need to set fire to yourself

ohnoimrunningoutofsp · 2015-09-09T18:09:22+00:00

Lol at all the people here saying is your fault.

Some girls are cute, some girls are hot.

I have a baby face. Being Asian doesn't help. 28 and still only one at my table who still get ided. Not that shy and fairly confident as well. Work out and have a quite a bit of body hair(random i know). From my barber to new girls, have always been labelled cute.

At the end of the day be thankful you're not ugly? I don't know if that helps... But not everyone can be hot.

philosarapter · 2015-09-09T19:10:00+00:00

I dont think you are fucking up. Lots of girls use the word 'cute' to just mean 'attractive'.

They rarely use the words 'hot' or 'sexy' unless they are describing specific actions. I wouldn't take it personally.

Freakstyle5 · 2015-09-09T19:12:10+00:00

Damn dude. Were exactly in the same situation. Some of my friends say "atleast they think youre cute". Well I think they meant that I look like a kid or something. I'm 20, but I look like im 17. Frustrating af.

kbonetacular · 2015-09-09T19:34:00+00:00

Been there. I personally think it's more depictive on the girls vocabulary and the situation at which she says it (ie. at a bar or grocery store).

That being said, some people's mannerisms are cute vs 'hot'. Same goes for general style and up keep.

Don't let it bother you or find a unique way of brushing it off - "Baby goats are cute. I'm handsome. Go read a dictionary."

madhatter10-9 · 2015-09-09T20:20:21+00:00

A lot of places, at least where I'm from cute is just a better word for attractive. So I don't really mind getting called cute all the time...

shurk127 · 2015-09-09T20:37:24+00:00

Body language/how you hold yourself; manner of dress can also be a factor.

This type of language is not an insult to your physical appearance, but it is an indication that you're not pressing "the right buttons" to present a strong masculine image. That's the main difference between "cute" and "sexy."

That being said, I've never gotten more tail then when I started working on my physique and "manly" appearance (facial hair, hairstyle, dressing to accent my physique) and along with that came plenty of attention from gay men as well. People rib me about it but I'm open to speaking about sexuality; it doesn't bother me in the slightest and I'll make tons of jokes about it. There is nothing wrong with attracting male attention as well, as long as you're not a skinny, clean-cut guy who's being seen as the "Twink" type by these men.

Don't sweat it, just focus on upping your SMV the way that you want and focus on accomplishing what you want with women.

Purecorrupt · 2015-09-09T20:43:48+00:00

When I call girls cute I mean nice face and when I say hot I mean nice body. Go lift maybe?

Ninenine222 · 2015-09-09T21:03:47+00:00

I have this same issue. I am a senior in highschool, 5'2", and I know I'm attractive. I'm confident, gregarious, take charge when needed, can flirt (though I am a bit rusty) and all I ever hear is that I'm cute. Never hot, never sexy, cute. Actually, more often than that I'm called adorable. I feel for you OP, I dont know what I'm doing wrong besides being short. Many girls have told me "you'd be hot if you were tall, but you're not, so you're cute." What can OP and I do, seddit?

GetBenttt · 2015-09-09T21:56:32+00:00

I'd love for a girl to call me cute. My friend's sister thought I was cute...never got anywhere though (Yet) but it did perhaps cause a certain drunken mistake...

Freddy_Fedora · 2015-09-10T00:23:59+00:00

Basically means she see's you as a boy, and not a man. Reasons can be you're attitude is more that of friendly, quirky, funny - you're a puppy dog.

Being sexy requires a certain level of intimidation (not just physical, but it helps) she needs to feel "oh wow I get to be in the presence of this guy" Being sexy has nothing to do with pleasing women, but if you are sexy women will want to please you.

SuperMaoriFulla · 2015-09-10T01:01:31+00:00

Try and pin down exactly what about it is about you that girls find "cute" and/or "adorable". Is it physical, personality or combination? Hopefully this will help identify characteristics and/or traits that need to be addressed or can be leveraged advantageously.

The same thing goes with finding out exactly what it is that attracts other guys to you. Even if you don't have homosexual or bisexual inclinations, it doesn't hurt to identify and know what illicits such positive interest.

2015-09-10T01:30:12+00:00

They don't see you as masculine or "dominant", for lack of a better word

GLOOTS_OF_PEACE · 2015-09-10T03:50:49+00:00

Lol why do you give a flying fuck what girls label you? ?

2015-09-10T15:08:03+00:00

If in gossip girls call you cute, you're in good shape. The difference between cute and hot when it's a more direct interaction is based mostly on how accessible you seem. If you are easy to engage in conversation and they don't think twice about starting a convo with you, you're cute. If you are someone they have to stay on their toes around then you're in the hot category. Be a little more archetypically masculine in your demeanor and don't roll out your whole life for them to see if you want them to call you 'hot'

Tjodleik · 2015-09-10T16:50:32+00:00

Where am I fucking up Seddit?

To put it bluntly you fucked up when you started believing that what girls say matter more than what they do.

Girls generally don't call me anything, except one who called me sexy and another who basically told me I was fugly and should go home. However, they do tend to hang around, spend and awful lot of time trying to get my attention and they compliment me on my behavior and "radiant personality." Or as a friend once told me; if she sticks around she's most likely interested. Kinda make sense too, cause a girl can just stand there and look cute and guys will line up to hit on her, so if she stays with you then you're probably doing ok.

eja300 · 2015-09-09T15:49:22+00:00

I like how everyone here gave you all the wrong answers. You really want to know?

Death is the sexiest aphrodisiac. People look into you and it mirrors they're own childish nature and fear. You've never faced it, that you fear it and that it controls you. They can see it in your eyes and mannerisms. "He doesn't walk as though he's fighting for his life."

One day you'll find a reason to live that's more important than women or children. I'd hope so.

Spore2012 · 2015-09-09T18:50:08+00:00

the moment you get a cute . shut down. act uninterested and a bit offended butlike more disappointed and not care. or come up with verbal neg backhanded compliment "you could be cute too if you had a little less eye shadow" or whatever the case may be.

Title	Why do girls think I'm "cute" and not "hot" etc..
Author	Strangerouss
Upvotes	177
Comments	120
Date	September 9, 2015 9:34 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3k7wig/why_do_girls_think_im_cute_and_not_hot_etc/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-do-girls-think-im-cute-and-not-hot-etc.1393887 https://theredarchive.com/post/1393887

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