How do you maintain a strong frame when another guy comes into the set?

pacollegENT · 2016-03-11T15:42:43+00:00

I usually try to, as subtly as possible, assert dominance in the situation. If you are talking to a girl or group of girls and another guy comes up, there are two bad things you can do.

Get quieter and shy away.
Try and butt him out of the conversation.

In my opinion, the best thing to do is to "welcome" him into the group. Acknowledge his presence and bring him into the conversation. By doing that you are showing that you have control of the conversation and the surroundings and are keen to the changes that occur.

By saying something like "Oh hey whats up, my name is ___" (shake hands, maintain direct eye contact and smile) and then doing some casual talk. If you do this firmly but casually it really works pretty well. It shows the new guy that you are a worthy opponent and it shows the girl/girls that are in the circle that you are dominant and confident. If there was convesation going on, maybe even ask a question to bring him in.

As a matter of a fact, as a whole when meeting new groups of people, I try and single out the more dominant seeming dudes and become friends with them. By doing so you are taking down their guard, solidifying your position and showing outwardly that you are not afraid to be direct and on the same level with the "alphas" of a group. It really goes a LONG way.

ImJustSo · 2016-03-11T18:04:37+00:00

I introduce myself and engage him in the conversation, because I'm not an insecure weirdo.

Maxferny · 2016-03-11T15:34:09+00:00

I am not the most experienced, but I want to share my ideas.

I like to let him in the conversation, just to prove I don't have any problems "competing". I have notice every time I let the person in but I somewhat close him of the conversation I feel the girl is feeling I have low confidence and I cant deal with the fact, that I don't have 100% of the attention. In matter of fact I work on both of them. If the girl can see that I am okay with the guy joining in, and by the end the conversation the guy is my "friend" the girl feels way more comfortable around me. Since I just proved I am the "AMOG"

DeckardAI · 2016-03-11T15:34:48+00:00

I think the proper frame you need to have, that nobody ever seems to quite understand, is treat it like you're among your friends. Why would you care how the dynamic changes when a friend meets up with your group?

Say hi, welcome him in, and then continue what you're doing. Unless he's actively trying to sabotage you, there's no problem.

ckuwiy2 · 2016-03-12T06:27:08+00:00

There are studies on hierarchical societies like babboons, and even some on sports teams / athletes that show that the higher status individuals have lower cortisol levels (stress hormone). I think you could take this to mean whoever is less stressed about the situation can assume the alpha male status. If he invades your set, welcome him, don't try to ignore him or one up him. Introduce him to everyone and try to befriend him. Best case scenario; he becomes a wingman. Worst case; he rejects you friendship and looks like a dickhead in your set.

openingceremony · 2016-03-11T16:50:00+00:00

I don't think I've ever had a guy 'invade' my set who had better game or chemistry with the girl than I did. So I usually welcome them in and use them as a foil to show off how good I am in comparison.

tweakmymeter · 2016-03-11T19:50:36+00:00

Shine... be friendly with the guy. Make yourself look confident and approachable. Make the people, men and women, around feel as if you are admirable, easy to get along with.

Women admire a great deal men that are admired by other men. Alpha by dominance is not nearly as attractive as Alpha by default.

If the other guys like you, the women have a strong potential to like you too.

CrushHazard · 2016-03-12T18:56:48+00:00

Maintain your focus on the woman. The other guy is background noise.

If her focus on you dissipates, then you should eject. The reason doesn't matter.

The key is not to feel threatened. If he ends up salting your game, just chalk it up as one in the loss column and move on.

PIGamer86 · 2016-03-11T20:00:17+00:00

Dont give a shit.

matrix2002 · 2016-03-11T20:16:50+00:00

It takes time and practice, but you don't accept their dominance. Talk to them and bring them in, but frame the conversation in a way that includes them but still maintains you in the driver seat.

Chances are, he doesn't have the social skills you do and as long as you remain confident (or fake confidence), then it should be okay.

Really, it takes time to get comfortable leading men and being in charge.

It's much easier to be the leader in a group of mixed guys/girls when you have experience as a leader when it's just guys.

saturdaysaver · 2016-03-12T01:47:33+00:00

This is my move, and to be fair I am not a small guy and I have been doing boxing and bjj for a long time so I feel safe doing this: you son the everloving shit out of him, by being insanely friendly and also physically dominant. Be like WHATS UP BRO and act like everything he says is amazing, but also get in his physical space a little, knock him in shoulder with your fist when you talk, put a hand on his shoulder, use alpha as fuck eye contact.

NilacTheGrim · 2016-03-12T06:12:01+00:00

Honestly I usually nope the fuck outta there unless it's already clear she's interested. I'm not into blowing up a chick's ego at my own expense, generally. And it gets confusing and really boring mighty quick if we're both hitting on her. I am not into that, generally.

Unless I know her already or something I'll usually bail.

Or.. unless the other guy is a total tool and it's obvious his presence is only helping me. Then I'll stick around. But if she's obviously flirting with both of us just to feed her own ego, I'll walk.

I'm pretty good looking and have a high success rate though.. to be honest, so I can afford to be a picky dick.

thisguy1210 · 2016-03-11T21:22:22+00:00

If it's a random guy who doesn't even know the girls then that's freaking awesome. I have no idea why you'd get discouraged. I'm usually pretty enthusiastic that he's there so I don't have to talk to this group of girls on my own, I now have a wing, I'll say hi and introduce myself and maybe joke around a bit. After the set I'll typically even try to catch up with him and go into more sets with him.

Masterplacebo · 2016-03-12T02:01:47+00:00

There are two ways to deal with this situation!

He's friendly then I'll be friendly bet if he does or says something off the wall then I'll make a joke about it.

Example: this guy came up too me and this girl somehow we got in the conversation of vaping. He tells this story of how he Vapes in his bed and blows it out his window. My response "Was this before or after you hit rock bottom" this is called AMOGing you be cocky and funny while still knocking the guy down a level but it's so funny even the girl laughs.

2.So you gauge and find out the guys kinda douchey. You sit back let the guy feel like he's making progress cause it's not a competition. 9 times out of 10 the guy will say something try hard and blow himself out.

DaygameCoach · 2016-03-11T15:51:56+00:00

Here is a video by Asian Playboy where he shows how to physically defend against AMOGs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLhEAFk7CA8. He is talking about you having brought the girl, but it's still adaptable.

meh613 · 2016-03-11T18:09:11+00:00

I don't view other guys as competition. That's needy behaviour, IMO. Rather, you have to act as though this woman is not that important to you and let him strike out or get her. After all, you have other options.

itsmevichet · 2016-03-11T17:29:42+00:00

Isolate. "Let's go to another spot I know." Maintain that alone, face-to-face time.

Also, if all it took was some rando coming up and interrupting you for her to become disinterested in you, you likely didn't have enough rapport to do anything anyway.

Title	How do you maintain a strong frame when another guy comes into the set?
Author	makethegirlsdance
Upvotes	106
Comments	55
Date	March 11, 2016 2:27 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/49yzya/how_do_you_maintain_a_strong_frame_when_another/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-maintain-a-strong-frame-when-another.1403858 https://theredarchive.com/post/1403858

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