BEING PRODUCTIVE IS BEING ATTRACTIVE. When I've been busy and had more important things than girls, I did a lot better with girls. When I had too much time and thinking too much about girls, I did worse. This may not apply to everyone, but I discovered for me my best results are when I'm productive.

PrettyCandidate · 2020-04-12T13:22:59+00:00

This. And it builds confidence too, as all productive tasks lead to improvement of some sort! When there's improvement - you feel like a more valuable member of society and proud of becoming a better human being

ken_34 · 2020-04-12T15:32:58+00:00

Reminds me of a time I was really focused on cutting weight and had a goal of reaching 6% body fat. On a Sunday morning, this hot bumble girl FaceTimed me and told me to come over to her house now and lay with her in bed. I wanted to but didn’t want to miss my morning workout so I told her she had to wait until I was done with that. It just made her want me there even more. But the best thing was I wasn’t faking it, i really wanted to accomplish my own goals over meeting up with a random girl. Pick a goal and track your progress.

sirylyamum · 2020-04-12T15:03:49+00:00

You're right. When guys are all up on you there's less excitement, it feels more desperate, boring - where's the chase, the fun?? If a guy is doing something else (im not talkiny about flat out ignoring you, just focused on something else) it's attractive :)

WhatAHugeDeck · 2020-04-12T13:43:49+00:00

Even better, when you finally truly realize and dedicate yourself to this, becoming productive actually gets easier.

Take it from me, I'm very emotional and passionate. This quarantine stirred up a sort of obsession within me, that caused me to just troll dating sites and apps without mercy. Which, mind you, is a good thing, as it has been mainly untouched territory for me, and as such has helped me to understand, the underlying social workings in play here. But I digress.

When I realized that my being obsessive, might have caused me to perhaps (likely, definitely) burn through some potential quality mates, I decided to use this pent up energy, to do what I've been distracting myself from; self-development, working out, writing... all of the activities, that will in turn, both improve my confidence in myself, and make me more outwardly put together, possibly even successful.

And, if it gets to be too much, I will still allow myself to dream, about the kinds of people I truly want to connect with (yes, I'm over the whole numbers game ordeal, fight me).

sayitonmyface · 2020-04-12T16:03:42+00:00

It comes when you’re least bothered about getting it.

notfeds1 · 2020-04-12T20:42:50+00:00

This is literally the “secret trick” except it’s not a trick. You have to put women on the back burner and focus on yourself, be the man you want to be then the ladies come. Well put, OP.

DaydreamingMister · 2020-04-12T19:02:50+00:00

Correct.

Women are attracted to the most dominant members of the opposite sex. And masculine energy is all about drive, purpose, mission, succeeding, accomplishing, breaking through barriers...

Seeing a man who embodies this is attractive for a feminine woman.

lee98 · 2020-04-12T15:37:03+00:00

Take care of your garden and the butterflies will come.

TiNyUzi · 2020-04-12T14:02:29+00:00

Does this apply during covid-19 lockdown? 😬

pikay93 · 2020-04-12T14:29:38+00:00

Define "productive"

theosamabahama · 2020-04-12T14:46:49+00:00

So how productive are you guys being in this quarantine ?

MemeMooMoo321 · 2020-04-12T21:02:23+00:00

Surfing, jiu jitsu, and being career oriented takes up a good amount of time. It’s almost like having a girlfriend already.

ExcellentItem · 2020-04-12T15:03:02+00:00

Exactly, well said.

Also, be busy and STAY OFF YOUR DAMN PHONE. Instead of texting/dm-ing/snapping all day, investing all your energy into worrying about being left on read, find short bursts of time during your day to interact with your social media bitches.

Of course from time to time you can have a long conversation with some girls, but in general always being a little unavailable (e.g being online but not opening her messages, taking hours to answer, leaving an uninteresting message on read) means that you have a life, that you also have other options. Girls never admit it (see tweets à la "When you're not the only one he talks to, ugh") but they will sense that you're wanted by others. That is also an important part of texting game.

If you always have something do to and have abundance mentality, you won't ever worry about being left on read/ghosted/unfollowed/whatever, if you're being busy and talk to multiple girls that won't mean shit to you.

BostonConnor11 · 2020-04-12T18:16:51+00:00

Yes. I honestly think being responsible and productive is top 3 for attractive features that women desire

HKVon_MD · 2020-04-13T03:08:42+00:00

Being genuinely immersed in one's own life mission is the sine qua non of "attractiveness." The minute one's focus shifts to "being attractive," one shoots oneself in the foot. It alters one's behavior and "aura" in a way that one can't even realize. It's a weird concept that I had to learn the hard way. But I believe in it. I think "being productive is being attractive" isn't a bad way to put it :)

hello_yousif · 2020-04-12T15:24:49+00:00

I don’t think it’s the productivity so much as the unavailability.

Girls want what they can’t have.

ankit_roonie111 · 2020-04-12T20:15:16+00:00

Exactly brother when you are doing well in your life you get more women but when you constantly think about bad things be a lazy ass you loose all the confidence and all of a sudden you find no women near you

Timmmmayyy127 · 2020-04-12T20:32:31+00:00

This is actually something I’ve noticed too, just didn’t know how to ask other people if they have noticed it

throwaway5235a · 2020-04-12T20:36:37+00:00

Yup! Girls shouldn’t be your life. They’re just an accessory to your life.

minpunzel · 2020-04-13T08:49:07+00:00

It’s true. We all love a man who can hold himself and lives a passionate life - with his own interests and knows what he wants in life. :)

pOorImitation · 2020-04-13T00:24:14+00:00

What productive tasks do you have besides school and work?

positive_note · 2020-04-13T09:02:34+00:00

they hit you up when you’re not available lmao

2020-04-12T16:09:35+00:00

Amen.

bearstrippercarboat · 2020-04-12T19:08:55+00:00

1000%

nikeballa110 · 2020-04-12T20:32:25+00:00

Abso-fuckin-lutley

HKVon_MD · 2020-04-13T03:11:44+00:00

Being genuinely immersed in one's own life mission is the sine qua non of "attractiveness." The minute one's focus shifts to "being attractive," one shoots oneself in the foot. It alters one's behavior and "aura" in a way that one can't even realize - and none of which are good. It's a weird concept that I had to learn the hard way. But I believe in it. I think "being productive is being attractive" isn't a bad way to put it :)

seandoza95 · 2020-04-13T10:21:24+00:00

Facts

EternalJourney · 2020-04-13T11:34:47+00:00

Key is to have balance between both: game and productivity. Productivity alone won't get you far with girls, but it will help tremendously when you're still gaming. Simply because many core principles of game (don't be needy, don't give the girl too much attention) automatically come when you are on your productivity mission and generally living a busy lifestyle.

TransientOscillation · 2020-05-09T01:50:35+00:00

I have noticed this, too. Does anyone have suggestions for stuff to do? I have classes online, but other than that I have a ton of free time and find myself being too available, which I have noticed is unattractive.

SandtheB · 2020-09-16T09:00:28+00:00

This life balance is one of the best community classic things to remember, i.e. Treat pick up like a hobby. Especially during Coronavirus were everybody is skidish about meeting new people, it underscores our responsibility to ourselves to 'be more then (anything)', e.g. 'be more then pick up guy', 'be more then guitar guy', ''be more then D&D guy' etc.

I know this time is frustrating, especially for me, since I JUST started getting success, but now is the time to focus on our REAL hobbies like Guitar, Reading, or Video Games. I really don't want to overstate the community classic advice so i will leave you with Neil Strauss (Style)'s advice to 'Social Robots':

"The solution is to remember that the best way to pick up women is to have something better to do than to pick up women. Some guys give up everything - school, work, even girlfriends - to learn the game. But all these things are what make one complete and enhance one's attractiveness to the opposite sex. So put your life back in balance. If you can make something of yourself, women will flock to you, and what you've learned here will prepare you to deal with them." - Neil Strauss (Style)

Strauss, N. (2006). The game. Edinburgh: Canongate.

NightmareOVERbrad · 2022-09-05T01:29:30+00:00

Think about this lol for the guys, you’re looking for a specific car for a mission in GTA and can’t find it cause you’re looking…. The minute U take ur attention off looking for that car you see 40 of them around you! Have other priorities and women and finding love should definitely not be your number one priority.

Jolly_Bedroom · 2020-04-12T14:46:11+00:00

Im super short, 5'5 and I feel like it doesn't matter what I do because my height will make anyone dried up immediately. lots of other short men on reddit seem to have made the same experience and that is only even more discouraging

saint-just_ · 2020-04-12T22:33:01+00:00

Doesn't help if all you produce is a heap of irrelevant shit

Shadowhuntermax · 2020-04-12T23:33:03+00:00

Lol disregard women, aquire currency

Mr_82 · 2020-04-13T00:34:25+00:00

It's definitely true for men in general, as we're usually valued or judged for what we can do or provide, regardless of how much so-called progressives claim they wish to abandon traditional stereotypes. For women, it mostly isn't a factor, overall, for most men doing the assessing.

HKVon_MD · 2020-04-13T03:08:40+00:00

Being genuinely immersed in one's own life mission is the sine qua non of "attractiveness." The minute one's focus shifts to "being attractive," one shoots oneself in the foot. It alters one's behavior and "aura" in a way that one can't even realize. It's a weird concept that I had to learn the hard way. But I believe in it. I think "being productive is being attractive" isn't a bad way to put it :)

HKVon_MD · 2020-04-13T03:08:47+00:00

Being genuinely immersed in one's own life mission is the sine qua non of "attractiveness." The minute one's focus shifts to "being attractive," one shoots oneself in the foot. It alters one's behavior and "aura" in a way that one can't even realize. It's a weird concept that I had to learn the hard way. But I believe in it. I think "being productive is being attractive" isn't a bad way to put it :)

HKVon_MD · 2020-04-13T03:08:57+00:00

Being genuinely immersed in one's own life mission is the sine qua non of "attractiveness." The minute one's focus shifts to "being attractive," one shoots oneself in the foot. It alters one's behavior and "aura" in a way that one can't even realize. It's a weird concept that I had to learn the hard way. But I believe in it. I think "being productive is being attractive" isn't a bad way to put it :)

HKVon_MD · 2020-04-13T03:09:05+00:00

Being genuinely immersed in one's own life mission is the sine qua non of "attractiveness." The minute one's focus shifts to "being attractive," one shoots oneself in the foot. It alters one's behavior and "aura" in a way that one can't even realize. It's a weird concept that I had to learn the hard way. But I believe in it. I think "being productive is being attractive" isn't a bad way to put it :)

HKVon_MD · 2020-04-13T03:09:25+00:00

Being genuinely immersed in one's own life mission is the sine qua non of "attractiveness." The minute one's focus shifts to "being attractive," one shoots oneself in the foot. It alters one's behavior and "aura" in a way that one can't even realize - and none of which are good. It's a weird concept that I had to learn the hard way. But I believe in it. I think "being productive is being attractive" isn't a bad way to put it :)

HKVon_MD · 2020-04-13T03:09:37+00:00

Being genuinely immersed in one's own life mission is the sine qua non of "attractiveness." The minute one's focus shifts to "being attractive," one shoots oneself in the foot. It alters one's behavior and "aura" in a way that one can't even realize - and none of which are good. It's a weird concept that I had to learn the hard way. But I believe in it. I think "being productive is being attractive" isn't a bad way to put it :)

HKVon_MD · 2020-04-13T03:10:30+00:00

Being genuinely immersed in one's own life mission is the sine qua non of "attractiveness." The minute one's focus shifts to "being attractive," one shoots oneself in the foot. It alters one's behavior and "aura" in a way that one can't even realize - and none of which are good. It's a weird concept that I had to learn the hard way. But I believe in it. I think "being productive is being attractive" isn't a bad way to put it :)

1st-and-10 · 2020-04-13T16:01:35+00:00

“You’ll lose money chasing women but you’ll never lose women chasing money.”

relentless_pma · 2020-04-13T21:11:44+00:00

Kinda correct. But most people will still have to put effort in meeting girls, so dont forget that. But besides that and improving with them it is great advice to be productive (and work on multiple aspects of yourself)

RandomGuy420123 · 2020-04-17T07:23:01+00:00

I’m gonna be completely honest here. I feel productive cause I work 4-5 days a week therefore making myself unavailable through social media a lot and in real life and before quarantine I lifted weights and always hung with friends. Can anyone give ideas? Cause lately all I’ve been doing is working and idk how that would be seen as attractive to a woman

ThE_SqueezED_LemOn · 2020-04-19T12:14:06+00:00

Whoa.. I feel this. I chose electrical engineering as a career got another year of school left. Plus i do concrete (forming picking smashing panel building , you name it so im a decent looking man. I just wish I had more money to build a hobby or two to keep me busy, one that i can show and explain to woman hey this is the robot kit i got off amazon i assembled it cervos and all! Then i programmed it a long with sensors to detect objects and the grip it so i can hand you coffee from across the table. Then Id start the jokes up or something. Aha 😅 just an example I barely know any woman and tinder is poopookak for me, no matches, she can just check my linked in profile if shes interested in me. Why should i waste time on tinder pics and a bio 🤷🏼‍♂️

BharathiyaJalsaParty · 2020-04-12T14:58:50+00:00

Pardon me for my ignorance, but I've spent some time in r/FemaleDatingStrategy. Based on the posts there, this should also apply to girls, right?

Richesbeforebitches · 2020-04-12T15:51:50+00:00

r/semenretention

mpg907 · 2020-04-12T21:51:07+00:00

Remember that being productive is different from being busy.

Heresyreznor · 2020-04-12T14:18:53+00:00

Dude, I got into game when Mystery was first a thing. I spent my best years around these "gurus" picking up chicks and getting into their "seninars" for free. Spent some years partying and selling/doing drugs. There is no such thing as a "good" girl. Any small town/religious girl eventually moves out and is sublimated into the society and it's values she is in.

Perfectly sweet religious girls spend 2 years in college in the city and end up bluehaired slutwalking tattood skanks ranting about patriarchy and oppression and rape culture.

The only way to possibly win is to find a young girl who isn't completely damaged and move to a small town or renote area out of the influence of degenerate city culture.

LastMinuteUpload · 2020-04-12T18:59:04+00:00

This a lie

Heresyreznor · 2020-04-12T13:51:57+00:00

Congrats on realizing women are parasites who want your resources

FakeTrending · 2020-04-12T18:30:03+00:00

Just be productive bro!

hyditcjhv · 2020-04-13T12:39:57+00:00

That’s relative to your physical attractiveness, a ugly person doesn’t become attractive because he’s busy. That’s what all ugly men do, they fail completely and then focus on other things and women do not start chasing them or liking them more. Women are happy because those ugly men are no longer bothering them with their cold approaches.

Equivalent_Ad7389 · 2021-12-02T16:54:56+00:00

Yeah I can't agree completely. The most successful dudes in the world still have huge amounts of anxiety approaching and talking to girls, they suck so they pay these dating coaches to learn confidence.

Confidence is about being okay with yourself, knowing your worth and stop acting like every attractive girl you see is better than you, they're not.

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