She ask me to pick the kids up

Seemedlikefun · 2024-04-09T15:40:25+00:00

Document when she deviates from the parenting plan. It's not malicious, and she doesn't have to know you are doing it. Ask her to text, email or calendar invite, so that you can keep it straight in your head. Thank me later!

Bluetoes1 · 2024-04-08T19:09:32+00:00

It’s just a matter of having the kids. It may also make for mending of fences over time and can help getting both sides to coparent better, which is always better for the kids. If it feels like you are being taken advantage of, but you understand what is happening and it helps your relationship with the kids, there is no problem with it.

jrr087 · 2024-04-08T00:11:33+00:00

Anytime I can get mine I jump on it

furiousmustache · 2024-04-07T16:12:46+00:00

I offered to make it easier for her and her parents that I would get them on the bus every morning, but she ignored me. Instead, her mom has to shuttle them from her house 30 mins away, then drop my daughter off at 730, then drive home 15 mins each way, then drop my boys off at school at 8:30. Rinse and repeat for pickup at 230 and 330.

Instead, she ignored me, and I doubt she even asked her mom.

I don't get the spitefulness and willingness to make everyone's life harder just to keep me from seeing them everyday.

FunnyQuirky3177 · 2024-04-06T19:38:21+00:00

👏 good dad

Outside_Helicopter14 · 2024-04-06T15:37:41+00:00

Men step up. I salute you 🫡

OpeScuseMe74 · 2024-04-06T11:41:15+00:00

I always said yes, too. If I was still married to their mother, I still would've been the one (most of the time) to take them somewhere or pick them up. I didn't see a reason why that should change and I got just that much more time with my kids, who I love dearly.

My STBXW never understood this. When her oldest and my oldest were in marching band at the same time, I was the one to take her daughter to practice because her kids were with us 100% of the time. We lived in the same neighborhood as my ex. So, I would swing by and pick my son up on the way. On the occasion that my stepdaughter was ill and wasn't going to band practice, I still picked him up and took him. My wife pitched such a fit, saying, "That's his mother's problem! My daughter isn't going. She needs to take him or find him a ride."

If I had gone along with my wife's wishes, my son would have been penalized for being late. He would've only had a few minutes to find another ride from other kids who would've already left on time. "My son is already counting on me to take him whether your daughter is sick or not. THAT is the arrangement. I am still his dad 100% of the time. Even if he's not here 100% of the time."

He has to be my son and I have to be his dad. You don't have to be my wife.

tojmes · 2024-04-06T05:55:14+00:00

Thank you for bringing some positivity to this sub.

Expert_Cod5485 · 2024-04-06T02:06:49+00:00

Always say yes for your kids. Work around your kids with the any new person. If someone comes into your life and does not respect your kids, then ask yourself if she even respects you?

However also know when your ex is trying to have an impact on your post-divorce life. Do not let this happen. Does not matter if they are happy or not post divorce. That should not matter anymore or what their personal schedules are. Put a stop to it and get a lawyer involved if needed.

Keep records of everything even after the divorce is finalized. If she is unable to keep the kids 50/50 then start recording everything to make it 51/49. That 1% could have an impact on child support.

My ex blows up my phone when the kids are with me. I have set the time which she always tries to change. I simply ask my kids if they want to talk now or later (on the scheduled time) and leave it up to them. However before I did this I confirmed with my lawyer and he said it was fine as I told her the schedule for calls already.

I should have been a Lawyer… Man I paid this guy so much money 🤦‍♂️

Sea_Purple2104 · 2024-04-06T01:35:07+00:00

Well if you want to avoid her using the kids as leverage against you best not let her know that you don’t mind. My ex thought that she was sticking the kids with me so I couldn’t go out a night. I played alone like I had to cancel plans and it was inconvenience

TreetopTarantula · 2024-04-06T01:11:18+00:00

I always said yes and what it ended up being was her destroying my post-divorce life. I would say yes. If I asked her to do that she'd say, "it's your day. Figure it out."

What a cunt.

DivorceTA1988 · 2024-04-06T00:43:41+00:00

I always say yes. I have my kids more like 60% of the time because of this. It is not to help her it’s because it’s what I want.

WanderingJokerGypsy · 2024-04-05T23:38:26+00:00

Years ago when I first left my ex-wife I was the same way and my kids wanted to be with me all the time as well. When the divorce was over I ended up with custody because

2024-04-05T23:02:03+00:00

Good for you. Always take the high road. Put yourself in your kids shoes when you make a decision and you will do the right thing.

Apprehensive-Cost496 · 2024-04-05T22:12:51+00:00

This is the right attitude man!!! No shame buddy, help and take whatever time, you only get them young once. As much as some things sting with my exw, time has helped to heal a bit and I'm willing to help her out but only when it comes to the kids. They pick up on everything and its my job to set an example for them. You're doing the right thing.

Timely_Froyo1384 · 2024-04-05T22:09:30+00:00

You are a parent 24/7, it’s doesn’t matter whom the paid help is that takes them 50% of the time.

Why wouldn’t you want to be with the kids.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2024-04-05T21:29:23+00:00

I just said it in another comment - Time above all else.

Time is the one thing we cannot make more of. Kids are only little once. People say they are 'around' until 18-20 but really its more like 13-14. After that they get closer friendships, want to be more independent.

No one is going to look back at the end of their life and wish they worked more or spent more time out socializing or traveling. Its "i should have spent more time with my kids and other people I love"

DicksOut4Edamame · 2024-04-05T21:25:28+00:00

I take any extra time with my daughter than I can get. Couldn’t care less if it helps my bitch ex wife out - that’s not what it’s about. It’s about any second of additional time I can get with that little beauty queen

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-04-05T21:22:38+00:00

Any dad who thinks what you did is a bad precedent hasn't thought it through. Every man needs an Alien Abduction Plan. In the event that aliens beam up the mother to their ship and she's never heard from again, you need a plan to parent your kids 100% of the time. If you can figure out for 100% of the time, you can easily do it for half. Of course alien abduction isn't real, but the mother ghosting her kids for Mr. Wonderful, being an addict, getting hospitalized or incarcerated, or even dying happen all the time. So yeah, be ready to get your kids when needed. And if it happens frequently enough to change the number of overnights you have for 6-12 months, then you file a custody modification for a new parenting plan to reflect status quo.

Title	She ask me to pick the kids up
Author	Ordinary_Cup_1827
Upvotes	43
Comments	28
Date	April 5, 2024 9:12 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1bwt9fu/she_ask_me_to_pick_the_kids_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/she-ask-me-to-pick-the-kids-up.1514148 https://theredarchive.com/post/1514148

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