This what I learned from this.

CaliDude75 · 2024-03-26T20:11:08+00:00

Ask the tough questions early on, don’t be blinded by naïve idealism. Figure out compatibility early on. Pay attention to red flags in the dating/courtship stage. Chances are they’re not “no big deal.”

UnarmedSnail · 2024-03-25T17:31:32+00:00

I got tired of my children and myself being an excuse for abuse.

FaithlessnessNo281 · 2024-03-23T00:15:47+00:00

Similar experience. Will under no circumstances ever get married again. Haven’t been on an actual date in years. Just do occasional meet ups when I want sex and I’m 100% content with that.

pissed_off_elbonian · 2024-03-22T19:12:28+00:00

I learned that I should have let her go two years ago as well...

Acceptable_Meat3824 · 2024-03-22T15:59:00+00:00

With the current state of society women in some ways are a waste of time and in most cases money. Gone are the days of the happy family with two children and a pet. With the evolution of the modern mind set of independence and the so called boss bitch mentality we face a dissolution of the traditional family which has worked and has helped improve humanity thought thousand of years . The support from the wife is completely gone, when times get hard your partner should be by your side to help make things better, but the opposite is happening now. The world is driven by the complete wrong motives, gone are the days of honor and dignity.

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2024-03-22T15:39:00+00:00

I agree with DivorceDaddy... People do change. One thing you can count on is change. Either positive or negative. I learned that I can go from hating all women and think they are a waste of time to taking the time to heal myself and realize that it was one person and not an entire sex. Both sexes have assholes. I took my time and went through some crazies and had a huge sample of women. I finally found the right one and we have been together 5 plus years. Your hardened hard will soften in time.

DivorceDaddy · 2024-03-22T14:36:17+00:00

In my opinion women are a waste of time

Brother, you're angry now, but deep down you know this isn't true.

The wrong woman is a waste of time.

Now go find the right one.

sicrm · 2024-03-22T12:04:11+00:00

if they mention something like they feel you guys “grew apart” and want to try counseling, that could potentially be saved.

but if they just want to things end without making any suggestions, you could say okay then get up, leave, and look into next steps.

I know you know this now, but begging is one of the worst things you can do since it just reconfirms their decision to leave. and even if they don’t leave right there, they will at some point.

HalfTheMan611 · 2024-03-22T10:02:04+00:00

Women will break a promise and have no sense of honour nor moral duty - they are guided by emotions and are ultimately selfish. Am I generalizing solely on the basis of my X? Yes.

soybeener · 2024-03-22T05:42:44+00:00

Never trust a big butt and a smile...

Infinite-Pop1962 · 2024-03-22T03:53:55+00:00

I learned the same. You can have a good relationship with a woman without making her the center of your life. Because when you take your eye off the ball for one second, smack dab!

Technical-Jelly3466 · 2024-03-22T02:57:58+00:00

Will I love again? I hope so. Will I marry again? I hope not.

Ancient-Length8844 · 2024-03-22T02:33:04+00:00

Cut off one head and three more will take its place.

Plenty-Entertainer71 · 2024-03-22T01:40:36+00:00

Rollo Tomassi said it best “theres some good ones there’s some bad ones but there is no one”

CRobinsFly · 2024-03-22T00:38:40+00:00

Women and simps push the narrative that women wanting a man defines his self worth. This is evinced by the ever-so-popular term incel.

The reality is, like you said, the pursuit of women or seeking their validation is a waste of time. Inevitably what you do for her, what you bring to the table, will eventually become insufficient and the person deciding the insufficiency hasn't "grown" themselves in the ways men generally desire, typically the exact opposite.

Men need to be driven to achieve for themselves and implicitly, for their children, if they have them - these bishes are always replaceable with a younger and more attractive model and them choosing to leave is hopefully usually a blessing.

redbawks · 2024-03-22T00:31:56+00:00

I learned if it flies, floats or fucks, you lease, not buy.

probebeta · 2024-03-22T00:06:38+00:00

Gotta be a bit mean to keep them keen. I stopped putting women on pedestal, buy themexpensive dinners while I eat McDonald's and buy cheap coffee. No ma'am, that ain't happening anymore. Now I work for myself and if they are eyeing my money I let them dream about it 🙂. One of my friends told me something which might be immoral but some women need to hear it... He says "sometimes women just want to hear a nice story...".

organicwilly · 2024-03-21T23:17:14+00:00

From my experience women (and men) try to level up as much as they can. I think it's an evolutionary behavior. The one thing I learned is that I don't feel like monogamy is a natural concept for primates like us. We're constantly in competition and females gravitate towards the winner. Even the winners lose so what's stopping everyone from fucking everyone else. Might be an unpopular opinion and ymmv

TheCommentator- · 2024-03-21T22:46:37+00:00

I’m convinced to never to make your partner a priority and the sole purpose of your life. It’s a big mistake and even them (women) themselves don’t like it.

roshi-roshi · 2024-03-21T22:43:35+00:00

Joint anything should be avoided at all costs. Voluntary sharing, maybe. Never ever be in a position where you can’t pick up, leave and support yourself.

Initial_Topic_4989 · 2024-03-21T22:41:41+00:00

It's truly disgusting how we get discarded like trash after all the time, and investment we put in our marriage. And then they want to act like we can be friends and crap, why would I want a friend like her?

FollowingDesigner275 · 2024-03-21T22:21:54+00:00

So true

GoHorns1998 · 2024-03-21T22:18:52+00:00

I'm not sure if I'd go with 'waste of time' but I do recognize women have a very high chance of 'getting bored' and there is no way I can see, or study has shown, to prevent it other than blind luck and hoping you end up on the right half of the equation.

dukeofthefoothills1 · 2024-03-21T22:17:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SunAndMoon23 · 2024-03-21T21:07:35+00:00

Growing apart does happen. You guys are not clones of each other so naturally people change over time. The question is what efforts were made to give the relationship new life? Marriage takes work, if no one spends time to stimulate further growth of course it’s gonna fall apart.

For me, my ex wife and I grew apart over time but it was due to constant arguing and a clear contrast of conflict resolution styles. I am the type that prefers to talk openly about the conflict and dissolve as soon as possible. She’s the type that likes to be left alone for sometime to process her emotions. It’s clear that these are just inherently conflicting styles. I would try to talk and it just bothers her because she’s not ready to talk. She’ll tell me to give her space but I just couldn’t understand why can’t we talk about it right there and now. There’s no right or wrong here. It’s just different. So long story short, find someone compatible, and invest in your marriage. That is, if you decide marriage is worth your time. Only you know the true answer. And yes I know you said women is not worth your time. It’s fair to feel this way given you just filed. You’re going to have a lot of time going forward to reflect and make a more rational decision as to whether this is the case or not. Good luck.

FollowingDesigner275 · 2024-03-21T21:05:17+00:00

I was told when I was younger not to do it. And my heart told me it was the right thing and well guess I was wrong.

FollowingDesigner275 · 2024-03-21T21:04:40+00:00

I want to feel like this guy.

savage_cabbages · 2024-03-21T20:52:00+00:00

Marriage is an industry.

Title	This what I learned from this.
Author	Ordinary_Cup_1827
Upvotes	50
Comments	71
Date	March 21, 2024 8:43 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1bkgwwp/this_what_i_learned_from_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/this-what-i-learned-from-this.1513227 https://theredarchive.com/post/1513227

Comments