Do you think it’s better to be perceived as sexy or adorable?

RatchedAngle · 2024-09-15T13:10:40+00:00

I prefer being cute because men get used to it and then they’re shocked when you get filthy in the bedroom.

I like to be cute and adorable. Then, when they’re least expecting it, you say something filthy. Immediately revert back to the adorable self and it completely hooks them.

Cute and adorable should be 90% of who you are. Or, if you want to be more mature, graceful and elegant.

Filthy sexy should be the 10% that comes out just enough for his mind to start wandering.

No-Comfort1229 · 2024-09-15T13:05:51+00:00

ideally you want to be perceived as both, depending on the situation

Independent-Story883 · 2024-09-15T16:10:21+00:00

Hmm. Interesting. If I could look over Gods shoulder and choose, it would be sexy. Hands down. I am a pretty independent thinker. I like power for myself as much as i like powerful men as a partner. I choose sexy. Femininity is power.

I dont think of it as a negative if a man makes unsolicited comments to a woman. I see it as he is to weak to control himself or the female just that powerful.

Masculinity doesn’t have to be covered. But for a woman to walk around bare breasted. That would literally stop traffic. That is power. I am not a gun advocate but i see it almost the same. Some women learn femininity and become deadly marksmen. Some are annoying like drunken braggards with their femininity. Some use it stealthily- you would never know they knew anything at all. some are clumsy. Some ignorant drop the darn thing and shoot themselves in the foot. To each version men respond accordingly.

Anyhow, some good cases are being made for cute and adorable. I choose sexy and i conceal it with my birth assigned permit. I don’t flash it or brag. I enjoy target practice behind closed doors with a deserving gentleman. I like to think im quite a marksman. I don’t know. Maybe im just cute. ;)

TheXemist · 2024-09-15T22:25:27+00:00

The more important factor I think is being fun & child like vs motherly vs older woman. I bet most men have all 3 on rotation in their porn folders. College girls, mommies and older women porn I think are pretty common, and I think the reason is clear.

I also read you have to be all 3 at the same time, in the correct way, for a happy relationship: - be child like: when you’re having fun, playing around and joking with your husband, rather than getting annoyed with him or interrupting a humorous moment with PMS attitude - be matronly: when he needs your emotional support (learning to respect his feelings & be gentle with them, as if he was your child, so he feels safe to share them with you). This is also when you learn his needs & wants. - be the wise older woman: for making fair decisions, sharing your thoughts on things

Aren’t all 3 of those things sexy when used correctly? You’re not being strictly baby-talkie pookie or sultry Marylin Monroe, you’re being a balanced woman. That’s where so much variety in one woman comes from! Why seek out the sultry talking, one dimensional flirting chick when your woman attends to him in all ways?

The problem is, when women mix them up. A common example: - be child like: trying to use childish logic instead of wise older women logic (leads to crying, screaming). Making him give her all his attention in his down time - be matronly: babying your husband so much he doesn’t get an opportunity to shine & show his strength, not letting him embark on a little risk like a side business. Playing games & jokes with a woman in mother mode leads to a proverbial slap. - be the wise older woman: using intelligence to be conniving, reinforcing bitterness. Don’t tell him what to do like the matron does in this attitude, unless he asked.

The negative child is most common, they think it’s being a cute woman but it repels men when they embody it too much. Like I seen enough girls pout and pull a childish voice at the store cos her bf won’t buy her a bag. Watch their soul shrivel up as why their right and person is a 120 lb burden. He chose her cuz she hit the fun girl notes, but didn’t use older woman mode to logic or explain how the bag may make her look more professional at work or make her look great while standing next to him at the restaurant. That, he could get more on board with!

So I don’t think you be one or the other, you’re being all 3, to be a woman that your partner desires.

Beachdog1234 · 2024-09-15T13:51:26+00:00

Embrace feminine traits- Graceful, nurturing, intuitive, creative, cooperative, emotional, gentle and adaptable. Present yourself in a manner that represents those traits. It’s both sexy and adorable at the same time. Nothing says it has to be “either / or”

RedPillDad · 2024-09-15T18:24:01+00:00

I would put less trust in a woman who emphasizes her sexuality in public. Whether intentional or not, she's thirst-trapping strangers. It's like wearing a 'for sale' sign as a necklace. She can find herself trapped in the 'fun girl DTF' category where guys are happy to bed her, but not willing to wed her.

Of course women are free to do what they want, and at the same time, other people are free to judge them.

_Pumpkin_Muffin · 2024-09-15T20:20:29+00:00

If you're talking about first impressions, I'd never want to perceived as sexy by strangers. It makes me uncomfortable. With man it brings the wrong kind of attention, and with women it brings distrust or jealousy. I do tend to accentuate the hourglass but that to me feels more 'traditionally feminine' than purely sexy (depending on the kind of clothing and paired with the right kind of accessories, make up and demeanor). I don't necessarily want to be perceived as adorable, rather as soft and feminine. But then, femininity tends to be somewhat cute and somewhat sexy. It's a balance to be found.

If you're talking about how a specific man's perception, I like to be cute with a few small details/movements that I know will drive him crazy, while maybe being perceived as innocent by others.

flower_power_g1rl · 2024-09-15T13:04:55+00:00

I think it is all exactly as you said here.

NatalieGliter · 2024-09-16T01:07:53+00:00

I’d prefer to not have men place their lust on me. Look at how Megan Fox was treated in the industry and in interviews.

Hot_Blacksmith_3404 · 2024-09-15T13:41:00+00:00

I’d rather be strikingly beautiful/hot/sexy at first impression and then later let a more cutesy/silly personality out. I’m biased though because this is how I naturally am. It works super well. Ime men naturally “shape up” more and treat me really well right because they’re intimated/infatuated with how beautiful I am. It sounds narcissistic but this is what I’ve observed and many men have told me.

Ok_Outside149 · 2024-09-15T14:11:48+00:00

I personally don’t feel like being cute has stopped bad behaviour from (stranger) men

Nerdslayer2 · 2024-09-15T17:58:15+00:00

I think it's useful to look at this from the perspective of evolutionary psychology. Why do these two different types of female attractiveness exist? It's because they serve different purposes. What we call sexiness is men finding a woman attractive for short term mating and what we call cuteness is finding a woman attractive for long term mating. This is why your "sexy" friend has such a different experience with men than cute you. Men are interested in short term casual sex with her while they are interested in a long term romantic relationship with you.

There are of course features that are common to both sexiness and cuteness such as a symmetrical face, youth, clear skin, and other indicators of fertility/health. But what differentiates them?

What features are considered sexy? Typically tall, large breasts, a bit of athleticism, confidence, maybe even a little bitchiness. The face is usually a little more masculine with sharper features due to more testosterone. Most importantly though, is ease of sexual access. These qualities are considered sexy rather than cute because they make a woman more suitable for a short term mating strategy. If you are a man living thousands of years ago and want to impregnate a woman and then leave (the male short term mating strategy), then it is best to do so with a woman who is more capable of taking care of herself (larger, athletic, confident, more testosterone) and already has some energy stored up in her breasts. And obviously the woman being willing to engage in sex without requiring much investment is a huge plus as well. "Sexy" clothes that reveal a lot of skin can be an indication a woman might be more willing to engage in casual sex.

What features are considered cute? Being small, shy, kind, innocent, a soft, round, feminine face, and most importantly, loyal and not willing to engage in casual sex. These qualities make a woman a better long term mating option. Being small means she doesn't need to eat as much so she is easier to provide for. She isn't as able to protect herself, but that doesn't matter since the man will be around to protect her. Being kind makes her a better mother and doesn't need much confidence or a mean streak to protect herself. Being innocent, which in this case primarily means in a sexual sense, makes it more likely that she is fertile. Birth control did not exist for most of our history so if a woman has had many sexual partners then it is very likely she is either already pregnant or not very fertile, which are both very undesirable for mating. Loyalty is massively important to men for long term relationships since unknowingly providing for children that aren't yours for your entire life is basically the same as dying in terms of evolution.

Also, youth is more important for cuteness than sexiness because if you are only going to impregnate a woman once and then leave then it doesn't matter if she is 28 and her fertility is going to decline in a few years. But if you are going to stick around and raise a family then it would be great if the woman could give you many children, in which case you want her to be young so that she has time before her fertility starts to decline.

To answer the original question, if you want a long term relationship, which is the goal of this sub, then it is much better to be cute. If you want short term casual sex (which from an evolutionary perspective is a poor mating strategy for women that is only done out of desperation), then it's better to be sexy. The good news is a lot of the qualities to be cute are behaviors that are under your control. Even if you are tall with sharp facial features you can still be cute through your behavior.

I'd be interested in hearing any other features that are considered cute/sexy and any possible explanations for them.

CountTheBees · 2024-09-15T22:03:13+00:00

I am perceived as cute because I have a baby face and am pretty short.

I think there is a danger of being objectified regardless of whether you're cute or sexy. "Yellow fever" imo is the objectification of cuteness and it doesn't seem any better than the sexy kind of attention.

With cuteness men do want to protect me, but to an almost extreme degree. The attention is paternalistic so if you want attention that is more "equal" or if you have a more egalitarian or freedom based mindset, I'm guessing, you would probably prefer "sexy".

nail_in_the_temple · 2024-09-15T15:25:13+00:00

I was once told ‘Sexy women are for fucking, and cute women are for loving’

Fae_Leaf · 2024-09-15T13:39:59+00:00

Both. On a regular basis, my husband calls me cute. Particularly when we’re going to go somewhere because then I’m wearing a legit outfit (not house clothes) and put effort into my hair. But there are definitely times where she calls me sexy too.

throwawaytalks25 · 2024-09-15T13:44:17+00:00

What would you say makes a woman adorable?

612King · 2024-09-15T23:27:47+00:00

Cute and adorable in public. Sexy and nasty in private. “Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets” - Usher

undothatbutton · 2024-09-16T09:14:46+00:00

So — immunity from cringe, sorry — I know I am classically attractive, clear skin, bouncy strawberry curls, bright eyes, toned, tan. I love how I look and I always have felt pretty, I’ve never had insecurity that I was “ugly” or unattractive or fat. I would say I have ‘good genes’ in that I naturally stay thin and clear skin etc. and I just look healthy, which is great! But…

I am definitely cute. Not sexy. I have always just been cute! I became more womanly after having a baby (I didn’t have breasts/hips really before.) I can dress up a little and be hotter but I’m never a “hot” girl or “sexy” etc. really. And some sexier looks just look plain wrong on me, like I am a little girl sexualizing myself. (I am clearly not a little girl, no one would mistake me for literally being a child, but I am pretty child-like in features.) Lingerie in particular is quite difficult for me to get to look “right” on me, it has to be very overtly cute or colored yellow, green etc. and not red/black. (For anyone who knows about Kibbe, I’m a soft gamine, which means naturally I can look a little child-like or even “boyish” in a way (especially before I had kids.))

It bothered me some when I was younger and single, especially, because it felt like a hinderance, when I’d have my friends seem so much sexier and womanly compared to me… but now that I’m married (and even when I was eventually more so just dating), I prefer the fact that I look cute, not hot. I think it makes men treat me more benevolently, too.

One of my best friends is definitely a HOT girl, like even if she dresses down or tried to be girlish, she just looks sexy. In a gr-outfit she would be sexy. She’s just got That Look. Men will sexualize everything she does, and many are emboldened for some reason to tell it TO HER. It bothers her to no end! She loved it when we were younger but now she gets “sex zoned” a lot, even if she doesn’t put out, because men just see her sexually by default.

We went to Disneyland together and posed with a Toy Story thing, and some guys said things to her like “I wanna be your toy! Ride me like a cowboy etc… and meanwhile I get things like “You make such a cute cowgirl!” 😆 So I actually feel like my cuteness is a cloak of protection against leering men (and personally I do not want or like male attention from anyone that isn’t my husband!)

Is it better to be one way or the other? I’m not sure. I only know my experience — but I do like how I am perceived by men, now. It bothered me when I was younger. But on the flip side, my best friend relished that attention when we were 16, and now, she likes it but doesn’t like that she can’t “turn it off.” the same way I can, for example, signal I am trying to be sexier with sexy clothes.

DarlinggD · 2024-09-15T16:17:54+00:00

Addison Rae is both cute and sexy

AutoModerator · 2024-09-15T13:02:05+00:00

Title: Do you think it’s better to be perceived as sexy or adorable?

Author OrigamiOwl22

Full text: I was thinking about this and there was a post the other day talking about how being seen as cute makes a man’s protection drive activate and I’d say that’s pretty accurate. Growing up, and as an adult, men want to protect me. Now that I’m married, it’s mainly my husband but he’s constantly telling me how cute and adorable I am.

I don’t really know what benefits there are to being seen as sexy, since I’ve never given off sexy vibes or looked like a sexy women. My friend does though, and I constantly hear from her all the terrible things men say and do around/towards her while I mainly only have positive things to say about my experiences with men. I do get stared at by men because I’m not ugly, I’m just not built to look sexy lol, I’ve got a baby face and I’m not tall.

The reason I was thinking about this, was because In my experience, a lot of men want to make cute/adorable women happy and don’t expect much in return from them other than their attention. While, with sexy women from what I’ve heard other women say, it’s about getting sex back or something in return. What are y’all’s experiences with this? And what are your opinions? I’d love to hear from women that are perceived as Sexy or Adorable and men are welcomed to add their opinion on how they feel about it.

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Consistent-Citron513 · 2024-09-15T15:29:11+00:00

My experience has been pretty similar to yours. I have always gotten told that I'm cute, pretty, adorable, attractive, etc. I've had one guy that I can think of tell me I was sexy. I prefer all the former descriptions over being called sexy. I don't think I give off those vibes at all. It's just not my thing. I also have a baby face and I'm on the shorter side. Just from looking at me, people think I'm younger than I really am.

Burner28102022 · 2024-09-16T08:31:52+00:00

Sexy. Because you can be sexy and classy at the same time. Just because you look sexy doesn’t mean you look easy. I think looking adorable might potentially risk giving off an air of looking simple and vanilla.

CasuallyTaco-d · 2024-09-15T19:33:46+00:00

I had this conversation with an ex of mine. I used the term modest rather than cute/adorable because some women find those terms demeaning. I would rather have an LTR with a modest woman, for social and psychological reasons:

Socially I'm going to face less jealousy of other men/her as she won't be approached as often. This will make it easier to have a stable relationship. She will also be more likely to have a more positive outlook of men, which is less baggage for me to work through with her. Finally approaching her is easier, because she is more trustful of men and less likely to act erratically when rejecting me.

Psychologically I actually feel more confident around modest women. I've had too many bad experiences with sexy ones. It's easier for me to be a good man to her as well, my libido isn't screaming at me to bed her every second. It's easier to keep my shit together, letting my better qualities shine forth. She'll probably be less crazy of a woman because of her lesser baggage as well, and because she won't have an inflated sense of self-worth - which is given to her by constant attention from a broad variety of men.

For what it's worth cute women can be sexy and sexy women can be cute. Obviously different bodies bias a woman towards one of these directions, but fashion and behavior play a large role in your presentation.

I really do think women, and men frankly, would be happier if women strove to be modest more so than sexy. Use sexiness to drive men's libido crazy in the bedroom, not from across the street. I almost castrated myself with a parking barrier while skateboarding because a woman chose not to be modest one day. I swear everything about sexy women is dangerous

Title	Do you think it’s better to be perceived as sexy or adorable?
Author	OrigamiOwl22
Upvotes	24
Comments	62
Date	September 15, 2024 1:02 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1fhbzp6/do_you_think_its_better_to_be_perceived_as_sexy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/do-you-think-its-better-to-be-perceived-as-sexy-or.1530325 https://theredarchive.com/post/1530325

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