Hookup culture is largely the result of societal pressure, commitment issues and unhealthy coping mechanisms

Overarching_Chaos · 2024-11-04T09:03:00+00:00

The only people who enjoy hookups are the top 10%-15% of men who have to put minimal effort to get laid. Women and like 90% of dudes are not enjoying hookups. Women constantly complain about how their hookups treat them like fucktoys (not shit) and men complain about how they have to tryhard to hookup with a 5/10 girl.

PM_ME_ZED_BARA · 2024-11-04T05:35:11+00:00

I am one of those people with triple-digit body count and I don’t share that perspective.

I have never felt pressure to hook up nor emptiness after it. I don’t disconnect my emotion from sex either. Hooking up is simply a joyful and intimate connection. A lot of people sometimes put too much importance to it or expect it to solve their issues.

Hook ups are not going to cure your problems, nor they are going to mess you up if you already come from a healthy place. They can exacerbate your issues though if you are not prepared for them. But they can also be a wonderful experience if you have good mindset about them.

Now I am in a serious relationship for almost 6 years. I don’t regret my hook ups and I don’t have much desire for them now. Serious relationship is also another wonderful thing.

Few_Advertising3430 · 2024-11-04T05:19:18+00:00

I think that it depends on why one is hooking up. If two single people who don’t want something serious and have sex to just have fun it can be empowering. If someone is using sex as a distraction it’s not much better than using alcohol to fix your problems.

Also it’s not for everyone, some people feel emotionally void after hooking up. Myself I don’t get anything from a casual relationship, I don’t feel void but it does nothing for me.

Certain-Ganache-6213 · 2024-11-05T05:06:07+00:00

Hookup culture exists for a few reasons.

For generations now, the fathers are mostly removed or needed to "man down" and Mothers who raise their children with extreme lazy parenting methods, such as character attacks, threatening with abandonmentand venting about the father.

Weak fathers who wouldn’t correct mother on her parenting strategy and teach kids how to assertively cope it and other people.

Female teachers who tap into those wounds of abandonment problems with the same strategy mom did.

Leaves those kids absolutely stunted wit a built in fear of abandonment.

Which results in women never needing to learn to cope wirh it, they simply face a world with constant attention from men, it constant stream of attention, validation until later on in life, where it changes.

And men, mostly ignored by women because those abandonment issue swing the other way around.

Men literally wanna marry and follow an script trough life that makes them safe and never needing to approach more than one, because they wait for their soulmate.

While women have all access to all men, filling their void with constant attention and there’s constantly another guy in their inbox. A best male friend, an ex boyfriend, a few others who think they make it into the boyfriend zone. In fact they are even absolved from feeling any guilt and we made it so that anything that is shaming, is a kin to hate. I say that’s fair though.

While men create the total opposite and isolate themselves because they think there’s no hope while sex is that easy and has no stigma anymore.

It’s all amplified trough social media and the technological advances. If you’re lonely and worship tesla.. you deserve to lose against hookup culture. Guys literally want a wife with 20, while most women with 20 don’t care and have it all, and later marry/divorce

Instead of isolating you can date within hookup culture, your values you cling to don’t help you anymore and you need to let them go in order to adapt. Get your notch count up and you’re surprised how all your problems are gone.

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G4M35 · 2024-11-05T02:19:52+00:00

Hookup culture is a subset of the "Fuck-it, why not? (YOLO)" culture.

You see that everywhere, very little adulting, just playing around.

I am now happily married, but when I was young(er) I did partake in the hookup culture and had a lot of fun, at the same time I had a very responsible life outside the dating world. A good balance. On the same like I have my own balanced investment portfolio but I do enjoy observing WSB.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2024-11-05T09:48:57+00:00

For me, hookups are like junk food: it ruin people's health (but mentaly and emotionally). I have never heard that hookups are "liberating" O_o

neverendingplush93 · 2024-11-04T07:08:37+00:00

I've had my share of casual relations, and this wasn't due to some deep rooted trauma. I was having fun and enjoyed sleeping with a variety of women. Oh no

WashImpressive8158 · 2024-11-04T05:27:22+00:00

Hookup culture is simply a plan implemented by the ruling class consisting of media moguls, leftist political power brokers and the banking elites. This culture has been pushed for decades into the face of impressionable youth who in turn experience delayed growth as adults. For many it’s eventually chaos and low self esteem. Family structure replaced by single unfulfilled lives, low self or mostly single motherhood.

rustlerhuskyjeans · 2024-11-04T06:01:21+00:00

Hookups were kinda nerve racking for me the first 10 times. I got started in college and I was genuinely disappointing to the women on most of them. They were much better at it, most giving good bjs and positions, I was nervous and self conscious. Then I got better over the next dozen times, and still was just getting fwbs and not a girlfriend. So I felt kinda worthless no girl wanted to be my boyfriend and gave up trying to hookup.

I got going with casual sex again after my divorce, from mostly dating apps hooked up with around 50 girls in year and half. Most of them on the first date. I was depressed about divorcing and was using women to cope and would cycle a harem. I still found the women to be much more naturals at hooking up, sometimes the hookup went great sometimes just kinda okay.

What end up happening to me sleeping around while being depressed. The next day I’d get this incredible hollow feeling, like my insides were gone. It started to freak me out so I stopped. I got a girlfriend and was with her the next 4 years and got over my depression. Now with dating, I just get girls in my bed and try to avoid sleeping with them unless I’m pretty sure I’m going to ask them to be my girlfriend. Casual sex provides this temp ego boost and it can feel exciting, but believe it’s not good for your soul.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-11-04T13:59:17+00:00

Once again the size of hookup culture is actually quite small. Despite “I know a guy”.
You might. We all might. But the ones actually involved aren’t nearly as many that aren’t

https://www.bustle.com/p/the-size-of-hookup-culture-is-being-greatly-overestimated-report-finds-its-having-some-damaging-effects-61050

ThatBitchA · 2024-11-04T05:41:34+00:00

I'm not surprised that dudes with 100+ sexual partners are incapable of relationships or have commitment issues.

One of them said he does it to feel better about himself when he starts to feel like shit. One said he has sex as a distraction when his mind starts going to dark places. There is probably a bit of hypersexuality

It's all hypersexuality.

It's not hookup culture. It's these specific dudes having their own issues that they don't deal with, and so they have casual sex. 🤷‍♂️ Sucks for them. Maybe they should deal with their issues instead of having sex.

Most people I know who had casual sex ended up in committed relationships. So it's not hookup culture. It's men like you described not dealing with their issues and being hypersexual.

IcyTrapezium · 2024-11-04T05:59:15+00:00

Humans have always hooked up. Women aren’t naturally monogamous. Women were property. The reason monogamy was forced on women was men didn’t want to leave their shit to a kid that wasn’t theirs. Men were not expected to be monogamous. In fact, it was expected they’d have some experience before marriage.

This isn’t to say pair-bonding isn’t real. But in between partners we are serious with a lot of people hook up. Plenty don’t ever hook up. But humans have always done this. Feeling empty inside like you mentioned is a product of thinking something is wrong with casual sex or thinking about how you want more. I don’t feel empty after casual sex because I don’t think it’s wrong and generally I don’t want more. I usually only hook up in between long term relationships and am essentially on the rebound. Feeling empty comes from a thought you have. It’s not some natural part of post-sex thinking.

Puzzleheaded_ghost · 2024-11-04T05:34:44+00:00

I think you are correct in your assessment that religious oppression is gone. We have stripped away thousands of years of cultural evolution and replaced with our definition of success. We have instincts for a reason. Culture has come a long ways from harems where a horde of woman are at the service at the optionality of the alpha male. Women have to make a nine month commitment so the best sperm needs to be incubating Alpha males get their pick at the time of synchronized ovation. The hierarchy provides the next in line. Hookup culture is completely natural, as is the warlords and slavery of the Bronze Age. War brides. Culture evolved and more successful forms are selected. Bronze Age morality doesn’t work. There is a demon in the middle east. It gives you what you want and it spells doom.

King_conscience · 2024-11-04T05:15:23+00:00

and as much as I want to separate the emotional from the carnal I just don't think I will ever be able to.

The carnal is the emotions at least for women also sometimes people just wanna fuck hence Hookups culture

purplish_possum · 2024-11-04T07:56:12+00:00

Young people (including young women) love to fuck. That's all.

Gravel_Roads · 2024-11-04T08:11:12+00:00

Is it really so hard to imagine two people boning down just because they're both horny?

toasterchild · 2024-11-04T15:04:54+00:00

There have always been commitment phobic people and people driven more towards casual sex what is liberating is that these people are shamed a lot less for it than they used to be. It doesn't mean that casual sex is for everyone and everyone should feel liberated by it.

Rocketskate69 · 2024-11-04T06:54:59+00:00

I’m guessing you’re not doing well as this player you know. If you were you probably would feel liberated and not resentment towards those that do get to have sex.

Also using your one extreme example of one guy that fucks a lot and ignoring all the other people around you that are normal is an interesting choice. So one guy you know personally is making what you believe are bad choices and you now have some moral issues with hook up culture.

anewlookav · 2024-11-04T21:02:54+00:00

I prefer relationships, but I still enjoy hook-ups. And hook-up culture is great in that I'd rather fuck someone than no one, and a good hook-up can easily become a LTR. And if the hook-up is bad, then move on.

I'm married now, and the sex with my wife is mind-blowing... but we still ocassionally swing, and sex with strangers can be equally mind-blowing. So, i'd say I know how to enjoy the best of both worlds

DoinIt989 · 2024-11-04T08:17:53+00:00

"Hookup culture" has existed forever bro. What country are your parents from? Were you raised in some Protestant cult?

LogoNoeticist · 2024-11-04T06:40:05+00:00

I agree, there is a small community of more healthy sluts 🥰 I wish the mainstream culture would learn from it; that was really the intention of sexual revolution ✊

Title	Hookup culture is largely the result of societal pressure, commitment issues and unhealthy coping mechanisms
Author	AnomicAge
Upvotes	28
Comments	88
Date	November 4, 2024 5:07 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1gj6uq7/hookup_culture_is_largely_the_result_of_societal/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/hookup-culture-is-largely-the-result-of-societal.1534581 https://theredarchive.com/post/1534581

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