Wife agreed on 50/50 visitation and backed out

This_Train340i · 2024-11-15T16:07:00+00:00

Unfortunately, your wife will not listen to a word you say as she doesn't respect you or your opinion anymore. Instead, she's outsourced all advice and counsel to her friends/family/lawyer who are now telling her what to do. There's nothing that can be done about that, but you can start filing the necessary paperwork to start litigating the issue, which will end up costing tens of thousands of dollars and, you are right, a total breakdown of an amicable parenting relationship for the future. Bitterness is the future because divorce courts are a woman's arena and they thrive on the turmoil and acrimony.

techrmd3 · 2024-11-15T15:54:19+00:00

likely the reason for going away from 50/50 visitation is that in your area she gets more child support if it is not 50/50

If possession of the kids is your goal, I would craft a schedule that has you having the kids friday after school to monday morning every week except for Week of Thanksgiving and 21st to 27 of december (even years you get christmas, even years you get thanksgiving - reverse for odd years) every summer you get 2 weeks in late June for vacation.

This works out to like 45/55 or so on possession but works fairly well operationally.

You don't get weekends free but it is what it is.

If she balks at something like that then you have no choice but to go Contested Divorce and you both file separate claims to the court

Alternative-Card-270 · 2024-11-15T15:30:02+00:00

This is a tough one. I’m in a similar situation in some ways. I wanted full custody of our daughter and she signed it over to me and agreed on everything in the contract. Now she is coming back after running off on her “go find myself” experiment and realizing she made a huge mistake. Keep in mind that I have actually allowed her to have 50/50 time with our daughter but just wanted the full custody in case she were to move or something in the future so our daughter was not subject to her brash actions. My ex is very impulsive and changes things on a dime. I would start tracking her impulsive actions and going back on your agreements through documentation. This might help with a judge as I’ve heard it shows someone to be less stable and can impact the child. My ex is now trying to fight me back for 50/50 custody because she is mad the papers say different even though she signed them. I also know her play is to secretly get 50/50 and then come back after me in a year because her bf is in med school and will have to move for fellowship so kind of dumb she is trying to essentially play a long game because she wants to move with her bf. Honestly man, fight and fight hard but the system is screwed. I’m hoping I win and the judge doesn’t even consider taking the case. She signed it and agreed and now she gets to throw a tantrum and get our child back and flip it on me. I’m praying it won’t work but a part of me feels like the system will try and screw me because I’m a man. Just fight as hard as you can and don’t let her discourage you and track her harsh actions and impulsivity with you and changing of mind.

jimsmythee · 2024-11-15T15:01:05+00:00

You will probably need to go to trial.

There's usually an ulterior motive for it.

Does your wife work? She might be looking at getting maximum CS $'s. And it makes a better case for Alimony if she has the kids most of the time.

I had to get a lawyer and we had to go to trial. But it paid out in the end. 50/50 custody, minimal CS $, and no alimony.

AlwayzzRight · 2024-11-15T14:44:08+00:00

What would I need temporary spousal support for? I told her that I’m not leaving the house until it’s finalized.

HereinPA1 · 2024-11-15T14:41:48+00:00

Get a lawyer immediately. Not only should you demand 50/50, but if she makes that much more than you, you should also be entitled to at least temporary spousal support while proceedings are ongoing as well as alimony and child support.

Please recognize you are in the drivers seat and make no mistake she would do the exact same to you if the financial roles were reversed. She is not your wife anymore. She is your adversary in a lawsuit. The only people that matter to you now are you and your kids.

redraven1160-2 · 2024-11-15T14:16:27+00:00

Get a lawyer and have them handle it. Explain what you want and have them fight for that.

ChiefsGuy2014 · 2024-11-15T14:16:07+00:00

They all have that “friend” that gives the best advice

0neMinute · 2024-11-15T14:13:37+00:00

Sounds like she just found out that child support is hinged on over nights with kids. She picked m-f so she can get full child support and have weekends free, lawyer up you dont have a wife. For now you have someone aiming to gut you.

No_Pace2396 · 2024-11-15T14:07:35+00:00

Lawyer.

Agreements between parties are nonenforceable.

mrcofffeeee · 2024-11-15T14:07:29+00:00

Present your lawyer with the shared parenting plan that you want and get it as a court order. I understand it's tough to deal with lawyers, but in the long run, it gives stebility. If she disobeys, then at least there are courts to take care of it

xDouble-dutchx · 2024-11-15T14:06:02+00:00

I am only spitballing here. But remind her that the kids have nothing to do with either of you and her problems. And the kids were made with love. And 50/50 is for the kids not you or her. But also let her know that you both need to be flexible. About the schedule. Life needs flexibility.

itoocouldbeanyone · 2024-11-15T14:05:35+00:00

First, stop using the word visitation. Unless there’s abuse, that’s not what you’re doing.

50/50 joint legal physical custody is the goal.

Courts will lean towards awarding that. They want consistency for the child. If your wife fights this, let her know that a judge will make a broad decision. There is no negotiation. Anything she has in her mind how it should go is null and void if it goes to courts.

Stay firm. Don’t budge. Lawyer up for guidance. Good luck.

Title	Wife agreed on 50/50 visitation and backed out
Author	AlwayzzRight
Upvotes	10
Comments	43
Date	November 15, 2024 2:01 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1grwzyr/wife_agreed_on_5050_visitation_and_backed_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/wife-agreed-on-5050-visitation-and-backed-out.1535849 https://theredarchive.com/post/1535849

Comments