Dating freak out

upvotersfortruth · 2024-12-12T00:44:30+00:00

Not sure if your ex had psyche issues but mine did and I fell hard for my first serious girlfriend (not a rebound!). I thought she was everything that was missing from my relationship and that she was the most amazing, caring, loving person on the planet. As it turns out, she was just basically a normal human being and I had been living in a desert for my married life. I didn't go from hell to heaven, I went from hell to earth but it felt like heaven.

Just remain somewhat cautious and in control, as it looks like you're doing. Opening your heart and being vulnerable is really a challenge, and the risk of feeling that pain again can bring a lot of anxiety with it. But it's you, not her.

Fyfel · 2024-12-11T21:33:23+00:00

Yes it’s very normal. I felt that way too when I first started out dating post divorce. For me it meant I’m somewhat not ready to date but I still pushed through the discomfort and told myself I’m not doing anything wrong.

AttemptScary4550 · 2024-12-11T21:33:17+00:00

Completely normal. Even after I had dated someone for over a year it sometimes seemed wrong or out of place. It's a big change to lose you SO in any manner. Be patient with yourself adjusting to changes. It can take a long time.

VNM0601 · 2024-12-11T20:16:05+00:00

I don't think I'll be able to ever date again. This failed marriage has made me lose complete trust in the entire institution of marriage. I know, I know. Don't swear off marriage just because of one woman. But I honestly can't fathom ever committing to anyone again. It's not worth the potential pain of dealing with a heartbreak.

IAPiratesFan · 2024-12-11T19:29:01+00:00

I’m not sure if I can date again. Who wants to date a 45 year old guy with two young kids, a dad bod and who works long hours at a family business?

No_Pace2396 · 2024-12-11T18:17:17+00:00

Dating is weird to begin with. For me now it’s breaking from the lifelong commitment I made, being uncomfortable with my routines and hers, trusting that a new relationship isn’t going to take the same death spiral. Thinking there’s hope. Hasn’t gone well.

I did meet up with one random woman I met at a scuba class. No expectations, easy, kinda walked in with a give a shit attitude, and ended up having a real interesting convo. The date material I’ve sought…it’s been a shit show.

I go back and forth on wanting to find a new partner, and just fucking off on my own for a long while. Can’t imagine dating in my 60s tho. Ew. Dying alone might be an option I choose.

Nothoughtiname5641 · 2024-12-11T18:10:57+00:00

I'm no where near ready dating ... I'm just screwing around at this point meeting friends if we have sex great if not that's ok. If you don't like me that's cool too.

But if i was id list out qualities that are a must and red flags that would lead to a block. Seems harsh but i absolutely do not want to go through this bs again.

superman_410 · 2024-12-11T17:51:47+00:00

How long have you been divorced?

techrmd3 · 2024-12-11T17:20:23+00:00

listen to you gut man... listen to it - if it's too good to be true it probably is

odd shifts either means - Entertainer or Nurse neither of which is a good prospect for a long term relationship

The problem is that Womanly attention to Manly parts causes most men's cognitive ability to decline... it's normal but you are now OLDER and with a lot more on the line than when you were a teenager

Don't start planning a life with someone who is Missus right now not Missus Right

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2024-12-11T17:10:46+00:00

Enjoy the rebound. Just be warned that first breakup after a divorce hits hard (harder than the actual divorce).

ImportantRecipe3087 · 2024-12-11T17:03:26+00:00

It’s always good to get that first post divorce relationship under your belt but I’d advise to just have fun , let it run its course and then move on . Do not get too hung up on this one and you won’t feel anxious.

JustSomeDude7287 · 2024-12-11T16:21:16+00:00

You just got out of a relationship, it’s normal. If you weren’t feeling anxious then there’s something wrong.

You might feel anxious for a number of things. Feeling cute and butterflies is considered bad too. Do you feel safe and at peace with this girl? That’s what you should ask yourself.

NoosasooN · 2024-12-11T16:14:47+00:00

I’m going through a divorce now so I haven’t experienced this. Based on your post my guess is that your anxiousness is that something is wrong. Like, red flags between you and her with no overlapping interests. Or you haven’t really given yourself permission to date. My 2 cents.

Title	Dating freak out
Author	twayevrynmeistkn
Upvotes	15
Comments	32
Date	December 11, 2024 4:04 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hbwtd9/dating_freak_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/dating-freak-out.1538228 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538228

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