How can we try to solve the Male Loneliness Epidemic? Let's come up with some ideas together and discuss them.

Alternative_Poem445 · 2025-01-12T06:18:26+00:00

when reading about okinawan culture something that really stuck with me was their social structure/ maoi i think it is called.

when a kid turns 5 they get assigned a group of other kids their age, and they MUST gather together for a meal at least once a day, for the rest of their lives. if they dont show up the whole group goes to their house to check and make sure they are okay. if their house is damaged they all pitch in to help repair it.

these people live to be 120 years old and its not because of their diet. they don’t go to the gym. they don’t live on a schedule with appointments. they do not pursue academic excellence. they have STRONG SOCIAL BONDS.

i used to beat myself up for skipping classes to hang out with friends. now im thinking it was maybe the smarter choice. listening to your body is in dissonance with capitalist society i often find.

addition · 2025-01-12T00:48:40+00:00

I think attacking gender roles is essential. So many issues come from the fact that for the most part men are expected to be stoic, 100% straight, protectors who don’t express their feelings, show no weaknesses, and sacrifice themselves. We should aim for a society where we’re all just people with different body types and individual personalities and preferences.

And while we’re at it, let’s hope that much of it is nurture rather than nature because honestly we don’t really know.

Richardsnotmyname · 2025-01-12T07:29:55+00:00

Many people think about it as men not getting laid. It’s so much more than that.

I think best we can do is start male spaces. Have clubs, activities and groups if you can. Also just care for your friends. Reach out to them, make them feel seen, make them feel safe with you.

ZealousidealCrazy393 · 2025-01-12T01:30:06+00:00

I found a pretty good club but the first rule is I am not supposed to talk about. The second rule is also that I am not supposed to talk about it.

For real, I am wanting to get back into some sports. I played volleyball in high school and really miss it.

Also interested in finding people to play music with. I'm a musician and enjoy jamming.

The question is if the loneliness epidemic is a result of nobody going out to do things anymore. I went to a mall last month because I was bored and it was pretty much all 30 somethings and older. There were tons of boomers. I know everyone is spending much more time online and at home. It seems like I never see packs of teenagers running around like older generations did.

Going outside and meeting people needs to be made fun and cool again somehow. I struggle with it in my thirties, and I can imagine its worse the younger you go.

Oohkbutnotokay · 2025-01-12T01:25:47+00:00

Very difficult problem to solve as it has so many moving and systemic parts that all need to be resolved to make significant inroads. Economic, sociological and biological.

Hobbies and such are often an add on to an existing life to add some more inspiration for facing the grind. Physical health improvement is wonderful, but what is the impetus for people to leave their shelters to attend? Simply putting men together will not yield the benefits that it might do to women because men tend not to receive emotional sustenance from friendships.

That alone is a complex issue; how can we transform the way men relate to and with each other? There is a lot to be said in positive terms from friendship with other men but under the ways we have been raised for generations few of those friendships deal with difficult emotional scenarios and that leaves a big gap for exploitation as many men look to fill the void in understanding themselves with easy answers provided by grifters.

We are coasting into a dystopia where economic uncertainty, culture and gender war misdirections, and a growing inability to meet basic needs some of which even dark ages serfs had better opportunities to meet, with the illusion we are so many times freer. Tied to the state /land by debt just as coal miners were to the company store.

Add to this the constant message, some richly deserved, some pile on bullshit, that men as a group rather than represented by oligarchy are to blame for many problems.

How can we retrain ourselves to: appreciate the biological imperatives that are beneficial, minimise those that may not be, engage in ways emotionally with each other that have in the past been anathema, find platonic companionships focused upon mutual support and healthy release of energy, regain our footing educationally to compete for dwindling numbers of quality jobs, stand for our rights to be more than cannon fodder or drones for families in a positive and successful way, push our leaders to place greater emphasis on the value and respect of infrastructure jobs nations rely on, find gainful employment that will allow people to focus on this list rather than living for the next meal, and come up with some meaningful solution to the fact as a society we dont seem to like each other much to get together and make babies to do much of the above again?

This was just top of my head stuff, so much is missing its probably laughable. How can even this be possible in the face of no state intervention to redress imbalances in the wake of the much needed changes since the 1960s? When society spends its time scapegoating instead of coming together to improve upon the great gains for women by refining and updating policies to benefit all? When those we need to join us are so disillusioned by the lies society feeds us about our futures that they would rather sit and descend into bitterness because it’s cheaper and at least can answer questions. That it’s often wrong seems to matter little. At least they can make sense of it. The above is such a giant clusterfuck that it will take people far brighter than schlubs like me to resolve.

I am 47, with benefits and opportunities that despite having to work hard for (my family was poorer than dirt and nowhere near as useful as dirt) people these days cannot hope to reach perhaps in a lifetime or two. That we have to work together, that we have to try something, that we need to be allied to the core concept of feminism (at least at some point even the naysayers must concede it was once true) and feminists to improve life for all, equality for all, is obvious. We stand or fall as a species, not as subreddit echo chambers.

We need to avoid Peterson-esque “clean your room” simplicity for this problem, not because there is not any truth to it, but because without inroads in many places at once, then all we have is disillusioned people with cleaner rooms to get mad in.

Id join a bowling league but I don’t live anywhere near a lane in my ‘socialist’ country ;) I guess I can spend more time writing on the internet about being an old schlub.

hendrixski · 2025-01-12T02:39:57+00:00

I'm in a fraternity alumni club. We still hang out and we call each other etc. Definitely makes us feel less lonely. And it's an all-male space.

Absentrando · 2025-01-12T02:41:01+00:00

The main thing that I think is essential for society to do is to end the constant villainization of men and masculinity. This is really not healthy even anyone including the people doing it since half the world is male and masculinity isn’t going anywhere.

Johntoreno · 2025-01-12T06:45:06+00:00

We can start with rejecting euphemistic Feminist language and not calling it "Loneliness Epidemic" or "Crisis of Masculinity" or whatever buzzwords that's vomited out of Feminist Spaces.

The issue men face is that they're poorly equipped to cope with the modern atomized industrial society. Post-Schooling, all the avenues of emotional bonding become harder to reach for men and age makes things worse as responsibilities pile up and cuts all the free time men have to find friendships.

Men being egged on to be more Feminine&Emotionaly expressive like Women is yet another "Boys are defective girls" narrative. Men are perfectly capable of expressing emotions and they express it differently from Women.

Karmaze · 2025-01-12T01:32:51+00:00

I think largely it's a confidence/self-esteem thing. So where it really starts in reinforcing the confidence/self-esteem/self-worth of young men, or at least stop tearing it down.

But outside of that, we are talking about access to 3rd spaces and clubs and activities outside of competitive sports. I don't want to say we need to prioritize boy's access, but we should stop deprioritizing it. Success shouldn't be measured by how many girls are involved.

Trancetastic16 · 2025-01-12T04:28:46+00:00

We can advocate for activism for written legislation for government and economic changes to support a more social culture again such as government funded third spaces of a variety of categories, dating websites with Census filters, overhaul car and city-centric design, increase wages, and a Universal Basic Income.

It is also important that these spaces encourage healthy open gender roles for both men and women and campaigns that only a small percent of people are going to commit a crime but to seek assistance if you need it.

The London tube has the opposite with signs warning men not to text or speak to women.

White_Immigrant · 2025-01-12T08:05:41+00:00

First I'd say be the change you want to see. If you genuinely want to be less lonely, or have men be less lonely in general trying and being proactive, create a club or society or group. From martial arts, to D&D, singing, retro video games, drinking tea, it's not impossible to find a hobby and others who share that interest, and honestly men tend towards being more comfortable in a shoulder to shoulder settings, engaging in some form of joint activity.

On the non apolitical side wealth inequality makes engaging in social activity hard to afford, both in terms of disposable income and available time. If you're spending your days grinding away and still have no money left after paying your bills to the "conservatives" who own your arse then you don't necessarily have the money, time or energy for a game of pickle ball.

On the overtly political side, create groups for community organisation and action. Two birds one stone. A mate from my home city runs an anarcho socialist soup kitchen, giving his time up and making food for people in need while organising and agitating for political change. There are plenty of options.

Sensitive_Housing_85 · 2025-01-13T06:01:42+00:00

Create social environment where men could hang out with each other , male only clubs and events and seminars specifically in schools that encourage comradeory and male friendships

SlimShady1415512 · 2025-01-14T04:06:56+00:00

Positive masculinity, brotherhood, create high trust male spaces and have positive male role models. This is something that we should learn from a lot of right wing conservative men. Especially the idea of brotherhood, because it makes men unique compared to women and is an extremely high trust concept. Men who are brought up mostly by women and don't have positive male role models struggle with brotherhood

thithothith · 2025-01-12T00:50:29+00:00

Personally, I don't know how I feel about the male loneliness epidemic. I don't recall ever even hearing about it from this sub at least before hearing feminists and larger groups talk about it, which started not too long ago.

With that aside, I do think the heterosexual dating economy is generally horrifically skewed in women's favor, largely because the facets of conventional attractiveness to be a desirable male partner are a lot harder to attain, and also less immediately/superficially apparent than the facets of conventional attractiveness to be desirable female partner. while I don't think it's an attainable solution, I think what society should do is reevaluate both. Not for the purpose of balancing things (although, it would do that too), but just to make the criteria less stupid and shallow. right now women tend to want guys who are tall and attractive, and who are masculine, and have resources, and take initiative, etc, while guys tend to like women who are conventionally physically attractive, and maybe some personality preferences in there as well for some, but other than the personality compatibility, all of that is shallow as heck. I think if it was normalized to date people only on traits that actually reflect their character, for both sexes, it would fix all this, and just be generally a lot more ethical. for some reason, people have an almost sacred view of 'preferences', that I don't see as any different from biases, and so nobody challenges anyone for how superficial their dating criteria are.

as for men having closer relationships with other guys? I have some opinions, but nothing other people can't say better. it's probably largely fear of being perceived as gay. that hatred of gays is probably largely motivated by men resenting men who don't adhere to their "gender duties", in a sort of crab mentality. I don't know. I think all of society (and obviously not just men) needs to work harder at making the environment more accepting of deeper more personal male bonding. also, that men cannot express vulnerability at all either way, because vulnerable people are "more liable", and men "need to be useful".

SvitlanaLeo · 2025-01-12T00:55:27+00:00

Imperialism views working class men as cannon fodder. Cannon fodder does not deserve rights. Cannon fodder should simply learn quickly that it must go and die for imperialist interests. It is no wonder that misandry has increased synchronously with the aggravation of imperialism.

That is why I am for the left path, and for a more left path than the US Democratic Party offers.

Revolutionary-Focus7 · 2025-01-12T05:27:35+00:00

Encouraging men to bond with each other (as opposed to looking for a girlfriend) is a good start.

There are less opportunities for young men to hang out in person than there were 10 years ago, as social media has become ubiquitous and work hours have squeezed people into uncompromising schedules, and the stigma against physical contact and emotional engagement causes platonic male relationships to feel sullen and bland. In cultures that normalize physical and emotional affection between men and value taking time off to hang out, men tend to be happier and share closer friendships with each other.

I think it would be a big help if men and boys were able to meet their mates more often and hug each other and cry together without it being slandered as "gay" or "girly".

Organic-Fee1858 · 2025-01-12T10:28:31+00:00

I think there is a lot of things to talk about this problem and a full rang of answers of what would be a good solution of the ‘male loneliness epidemic’

Why we believe this problem does not affect to woman? What are doing woman that men are not doing that is essentially different? Is really something different? Can we talk about a loneliness epidemic instead of a male loneliness epidemic?

That would be the first question. I’m not sure about the answer, but I’m sure if we find that yeah, there exist a male loneliness increasing but not a female one, the solution would be logically analyze man behavior. And if we find that there is also a woman loneliness epidemic the answer would be logically analyze posmoderm behavior.

int-enzo · 2025-01-13T03:52:18+00:00

Does this community have a server?

Upper-Divide-7842 · 2025-01-13T12:06:39+00:00

Asking this in good faith;

Can someone pitch me the idea that there actually is a MALE loneliness epidemic?

As in that increaing loneliness is a male specific problem? It seems to me that society is increasingly attomized for everyone.

It could be that this has a bigger effect in men but I'm always cautious of the feminist adjacent "men are bad at making friends" kinda discourse around this subject.

It seems to be fueled on the other side by the conservative idea that "men need to get married to a woman be fulfilled (and "civilised)"".

I mean either of these things COULD be true but I have very little trust in the ideologies they spring from.

And neither has held particularly true in my experience. So can someone give me the pitch for this? With stats comparing mens loneliness to womens, Ideally.

Thanks.

silversharpe · 2025-02-08T18:23:27+00:00

https://usmenssheds.org/

Get these kinds of places running across the country

2025-01-12T03:25:19+00:00

By creating your own community where you filter out the people you don't want. Applying ultimate form of discrimination that the other ideologies have done. Be ruthless in this process. There are far too many people who think that they can just speak for men, while not allowing men to speak for them.

The best way to fix our issues is to be incredibly ruthlessly vocal about your opinion. The use of words like Ugly, fat, etc. It makes absolute no sense to be politically correct when people don't even offer us the same option.
As long as people are trying to communicate with you, they have to either respect your rules or not speak to you at all.

You are already not respected, so what do you have to lose? Might as well be your authentic self, instead of trying to please people who don't show you even a little bit of respect, let alone, want to give you the chance to disagree without immediately alienating you away. This is especially important for those who value relationships and women too much. They don't want you, and you still hope that they will give you a chance? When has that worked for anyone? More your opinions, less women's opinions.

_name_of_the_user_ · 2025-01-12T11:52:56+00:00

We need an emotion positivity movement for men much like women's body positivity movement. We need men willing to accept the social stigma and backlash of showing emotions. We need men and women willing to accept those emotions and to see them as strong and attractive, not weak and ugly.

anon_enuf · 2025-01-12T12:07:28+00:00

In one word, trades. Aquire skills (builds network & confidence), work next to other guys, become more useful & subsequently more desirable. It's not a guarantee for everyone (there's obviously lonely people in trades) but it would help. Alot.

uwu_fight · 2025-01-12T02:10:42+00:00

Platonic homoromance - allowing male friendships to be deep, meaningful and intimate. Removing stigma around emotional expression and traditionally “feminine” things. Don’t underestimate the way in which women as well raise men to be “masculine”

HerrSirCupcake · 2025-01-12T05:41:38+00:00

my solution is to just talk with everybody in my city like i've known them years. i'm from europe so finding people to talk to might be easier than the US, because people take trains and buses and walk instead of taking their car, but i learned this from my grandmother from michigan. her prime spot to talk with strangers is the grocery store, but she would do it anywhere she could find a stranger. I don't know how to encourage that, but it works for me.

Zess-57 · 2025-01-13T05:23:07+00:00

Not a single mention of sex in the comments

Luo_Lipei · 2025-01-13T13:27:57+00:00

I can't talk for others, as i'm alone by choice. In an increasingly narcissistic society, i don't consider keeping one's sanity a dicease.

Langland88 · 2025-01-13T15:00:00+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Own_Butterscotch_342 · 2025-01-15T18:04:39+00:00

Destroy the societal construct that men must be these comically emotionless statues and somehow perceiving that to be masculine. The fact that something as human as emotional expression is shunned and seen as alien to the idealized masculine male experience is a big reason why the vast majority of mass shootings, suicides, and homicides are committed by men.

Men_And_The_Election · 2025-01-12T01:12:41+00:00

Pickle ball is another social sport.

Clean up crews, other environmental groups. Helps the community too.

Improv class/groups. Local music groups, choir/band/orchestra, etc.

Politics—tons of local commissions, groups, etc.

Meetups based on an interest.

StatusAd7349 · 2025-01-12T00:58:06+00:00

Start with forming a solid friendship group - and use them when need be.

Throwawayingaccount · 2025-01-12T06:52:58+00:00

Unusual answer here but...

Take steps to lower microplastic pollution.

I believe that microplastics have a negative effect on female libido.

Naturally, male and female libido are much closer to being balanced than they are currently, and I think microplastics are at least partially to blame.

Sewblon · 2025-01-13T04:12:39+00:00

There is no compelling argument for a male loneliness epidemic. If you only look at studies that involved more than 100 males and 100 females, then the male loneliness surplus disappears. https://pure.manchester.ac.uk/ws/portalfiles/portal/135977571/EJP_Gender_Postprint_AAM.pdf

Title	How can we try to solve the Male Loneliness Epidemic? Let's come up with some ideas together and discuss them.
Author	Langland88
Upvotes	69
Comments	71
Date	January 11, 2025 11:54 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/1hz9jtr/how_can_we_try_to_solve_the_male_loneliness/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/how-can-we-try-to-solve-the-male-loneliness.1540975 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540975

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