Men - hope you are having a strong 3-day weekend.

One of the things that has me down lately is the inequality in the divorce as it relates to societal norms. What I mean is I was the wage earner and the (massively skewed) financial provider. My STBX worked but also we made sure her job provided a lot of flexibility to do a lot of the social stuff with the kids.

In divorce I will pay a tremendous amount of child support (happy to do so) and alimony.

What I will not get is any of the social support. The STBX has all the relationship with the mothers etc so is much better prepared to have play dates etc. it makes me feel like a terrible dad. I am always working very hard to plan social outings but frankly they are centered around the 3 of us. So when the kids ask for a play date I feel like a poor father bc I just don’t have those relationships and my incredibly demanding job does not allow me to make all of the kids events where I can build those relationships.

I wish the courts would recognize this and do something about it. No clue what, and I know some of that is on me, but the STBX gets money making our after divorce split nearly 50/50 but socially, for the kids, I am at a massive deficit and it hurts.