Women I dont want want me and women I want dont want me

splittingxheadache · 2025-08-12T17:57:06+00:00

Change your style/self-expression up.

Imma be real, I rarely find these women who are so bent out of shape they treat any sort of desire to be with or fuck them as this relinquishing of power. At worst they don’t like my vibe. At best they like my directness and intent. I’m fairly flirty, I show interest without acting like I need them, because I don’t.

Age matters too. How old are you OP?

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-08-12T19:07:24+00:00

So there is a reason why girls you like don't feel attracted to you, and girls you don't like, feel attracted to you.

A woman is really hot, therefore the guy concludes she has value.

Then the guy looks at himself and thinks:

“i’m not that attractive, therefore i’m not as valuable. I’d be lucky to sleep with such a hot girl.”

So they start filtering themesleves, and trying harder to perform in order to please, and thus stop being authentic.

However if a woman is unnatractive for any other reason, it’s likely that the guy suddenly acts as if he is the prize.

And that’s because they compare themselves to them and think:

“She is not attractive or at least way less attractive than me, she’d be lucky that a guy like me who is clearly superior (note: in his subjective opinion) to her in looks pays attention to her”

So they talk to her with way more confidence naturally.

When you see a fat girl you show your actual self, you are not afraid of teasing her, saying offensive things, of saying jokes, of showing your quirks, and showing your true personality…

U don’t filter what you say, u don’t overthink, u don’t second guess, you speak your mind openly, you flirt without fear and don't give a fuck if your actions cause you to lose her, because you tell yourself:

“Well she is unnatractive, who gives a shit if she doesn’t like me.”

And ironically, that’s exactly the attitude u need to have with hot chicks, the hotter the chick, the less filters you should have. Because attraction isn't based on being aggreable, approval-seeking or a woman's pleaser or trying to get a particular outcome from her, like getting her number or a date, or sex or anything at all.

Attraction happens when there tension, emotions, conflict, challenge, laughter, provocation, drama, and she feels that you don't try to get something from her, that you don't try to push for an specific outcome, and that attitude happens naturally with unnatractive women because you fear nothing, but as soon as she is hot you stop your true self, and begin to operate more from an insecure and needy midnset.

norwegiandoggo · 2025-08-12T18:00:10+00:00

Start with what you can control: yourself.

Stop chasing women who don't want you. This eliminates half the problem right away.

In the long run; make yourself a more attractive person, and you'll have more women be interested (including some of those you want). Get into a higher league.

chocolateegg1233 · 2025-08-12T18:30:33+00:00

People get shit really wrong sometimes

Wanting a girl is not low value per se

Needing a girl is

Neediness is the biggest turn off to any girl

Think this way, you walk to a TV shop because you want a big TV to watch Alexis Texas tits in 4k

You have the money (value), and you WANT a TV, if the seller say that he don't want to sell anything to you for any reason, you don't give a shit, there's hundreds of places that sell TV

Do you need a TV? No, you can watch on your notebook, desktop, smartphone, whatever

Keep in mind that seduction is a numbers game, and if you're a high value guy, your numbers increase, but still a numbers game

You get attraction from girls you don't find attractive because you don't act needy around them

On other hand you act like a pussy around girl you want, try to impress, try to put on a front, a persona

You end up being incongruent, fake, less masculine, and jerking off using your tears as lubricant

Easy_Manager3026 · 2025-08-12T18:33:33+00:00

Be more self-esteamed. I got it for like 3 days, don't care about most of the women and I am feeling good. I don't need woman to validate me and I validate myself. Seek it in you friend

MeteoraRed · 2025-08-12T18:27:25+00:00

I’ve noticed this too at first, it was very difficult. The key is mastering the art of self-control, being at peace with yourself, and having high self-acceptance.

When we believe a woman is “above our league,” that’s when problems start. We become needy, she senses it, and often, she pulls away. The solution is to practice the mindset of abundance. Go on as many dates as you can with women you genuinely connect with. Over time, you’ll develop a sense of abundance realizing there are countless amazing, beautiful women in the world.

You’ll stop feeling the need to chase, even after a successful date. I’ve experienced this firsthand, and it changes everything.

Upstairs_Rich1599 · 2025-08-12T17:50:05+00:00

When you show desire first, you hand over the power. Most people crave what’s just out of reach. The ones you want sense your eagerness, so they subconsciously rank you lower. The ones who want you feel they’re reaching up. Status and scarcity drive attraction. Human behaviour is fun tbh😂 Thats why every nice guy trying to please a guy loses and the toxic guy she talks about for years

ookami597 · 2025-08-12T20:38:33+00:00

Look. I like fatties, white fatties. Im a Tyrone. 6'2, personal trainer, formal model. Unfortunately, l live in a city. Ill spare you my lecture on status oriented sexual markets vs. Family and tradition oriented sexual markets but the long and short of it is, fat women are actually intimidated by in shape men. It's a high propensity cheating/abandonment cue, and fat white chicks specifically don't like Tyrones in cities...black men give them too much and poor quality (hootin and hollering, wolf whistling and cat calling) attention, so they avoid us like the plague.

So here's my cheat code. Approach a group, seduce the skinny one (l could do it in my sleep, they want my attention because they never get it). MAYBE, even make out with her and MAYBE just MAYBE, bump into the fat one while I'm doing it. Then go to the bathroom (aka leave) THEN come back and smack the fat one on the arm and say "how come you bein so anti social!?" They lose their fucking minds! Theyre like WTF are u talking about!? Then l hit on them the rest of the night.

Heres what l accomplish 1. I use their friend as pre-selection 2. I establish l CAN pull skinny women, l just like BBWs 3. I make her jealous before seduction 4. I give her an opportunity to do what all fat chicks want: to make their friends jealous, its the reason they want Chad over Tyrone in the first place

Take from that what you will

ArmitageShanks69 · 2025-08-12T22:49:58+00:00

That was me before I turned 40, after which the women I didn't want didn't want me either.

nintendoborn1 · 2025-08-12T18:56:23+00:00

Life of George right there

Rhino3750ss · 2025-08-12T18:09:55+00:00

If you genuinely have higher priorities than pussy, you won't have to worry about showing too much desire for someone you actually want because you want the rewards of those higher priorities even more, so your urgency is automatically kept in check regardless of how hot the girl is.

The point is to remain slightly less interested in the girl than she is in you so she doesn't think that you can't do better than her. This is hard to do when you are very attracted to the person, and impossible to fake, which is why you need priorities to fortify your sexual discipline.

habbo311 · 2025-08-12T23:07:15+00:00

There's nothing you can do. It's tragically maddening I agree. Just keep trying and never give up and one day maybe you will find someone who you are head over heels crazy about who loves you the same. No guarantees though. Many people never find it

nordik1 · 2025-08-13T15:37:21+00:00

No one here is going to have the answer to this because this is usually everyone’s problem (even for women if you ask them). If you had an honest poll of this sub, <1% of guys here are actually getting the women they truly want, and it might be zero.

That’s mostly why spaces like this exist. Everyone is trying to figure it out in a formulaic way so it can be repeated and finally crack the code. It’s not a solvable code though

Getting the women you truly want has a luck and timing component to it and it’s not repeatable with a step by step process, so there is no answer

The best you can do is maximize your look, live an interesting life and always be upgrading your value, be in abundance with other women so your behavior auto-corrects, and work to sharpen your game while making a ton of attempts over time

The rest is luck and timing: you have to be in the right place at the right time and the woman has to have interest in you

tldr: be as attractive as possible + talk to a lot of hot women and adjust your game as you go along. Most won’t want you, but some will

DrFrosthazer · 2025-08-13T09:19:46+00:00

This is as old as man himself.

the_1st_inductionist · 2025-08-12T17:55:44+00:00

This has been maddening to me. I understand the psychology behind it, when you want someone it kind of implies you have a “lower value”.

That depends on your goal. That’s not how it works for pursuing your flourishing and a serious relationship.

smind893 · 2025-08-13T02:38:06+00:00

Having a woman , or 2, improves your confidence and energy with women.

Ok_Investigator7568 · 2025-08-13T03:50:27+00:00

You say words in a way that imply you want them, but show nonchalant body language. Works like a charm

MattFa5 · 2025-08-13T05:07:30+00:00

That’s how it be with me most of the time… but not always

Potomaters · 2025-08-13T09:34:10+00:00

Are the women that you want more attractive than the women that want you?

videogames_ · 2025-08-13T13:32:32+00:00

Control variables you can like more fitness & improve style. Besides height and race you have to keep testing and trying to see what gets you to the women you want.

Altruistic-Patient-8 · 2025-08-13T15:08:53+00:00

Stop chasing. You put in effort, and they dont want you back. Keep your standards with the other women. Its just a waiting game.

Pristine-Process-193 · 2025-08-13T20:04:19+00:00

Eu tinha uma frase que resumiu minha adolescência com as mulheres:

"As que eu quero, não me quer. As que me quer, ninguém quer."

highonthelemontree · 2025-08-13T23:02:34+00:00

The answer is right in front of you brother. Treat the girls you do want just like the girls you don’t want. You are automatically putting them on a pedestal and that’s why they can’t feel any attraction towards you.

AnMoCa_Nav · 2025-08-14T15:22:56+00:00

Personally, this was a problem for me but I realized that whenever I got to date women I really liked I was kinda rushing for a relationship and that’s what killed ‘em. Like yes, the type I like does fall for me but the dynamic is what kills it, just better to treat them like anybody else

Charming_Sport_6197 · 2025-08-15T01:26:18+00:00

You haveto get ripped and put your life on 11. You can only control your looks so much, so you gotta max it.

VGClementine · 2025-08-15T15:22:01+00:00

Always go for the woman who likes you. It's better that way.

WebNew9978 · 2025-08-12T18:05:09+00:00

Hey it could be worse. You could have it as no woman ever wanting you like me. I’d suggest you control the things you can control and maybe adjust your expectations. I’m not saying you should start liking the women you don’t want but more so of don’t overreach in a sense.

BarbarousJudge · 2025-08-12T21:37:27+00:00

At least some women want you. Luxury problems

Physical_College_551 · 2025-08-12T18:13:31+00:00

Fu it 💯

AwkwardDog9207 · 2025-08-12T22:23:29+00:00

Hi my name is John I'm into girls and I'm always up to new teens and I'm into men

AwkwardDog9207 · 2025-08-12T22:24:04+00:00

Hi my name is John this is my first time I would like to meet my sled

tuzan_parrudo · 2025-08-13T01:58:06+00:00

Try not want the ones you want so they want you. Hope it helps.

RandomBlokeFromMars · 2025-08-12T19:50:52+00:00

lower your standards. you try to date outside your attraction level.

same with women: all the guys you like want only to sleep with you? guess what.

Title	Women I dont want want me and women I want dont want me
Author	justaydogg
Upvotes	183
Comments	90
Date	August 12, 2025 5:47 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1moflkk/women_i_dont_want_want_me_and_women_i_want_dont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/women-i-dont-want-want-me-and-women-i-want-dont.1559435 https://theredarchive.com/post/1559435

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