Are men and women even compatible in relationships?

columbo_mayne · 2025-12-05T01:18:45+00:00

I don't have a real response to every one of your points, but it was pointed out to me that once the tech for artificial wombs or artificial insemination becomes more accessible you're going to see more and more male-female social contracts breakdown - maybe even society as a whole starting to break down.

autistic_cool_kid · 2025-12-05T08:19:19+00:00

Gay is the way

Open-Quail-2573 · 2025-12-05T03:08:40+00:00

Great points but just because we're different doesn't mean we're incompatible. The mismatch of sex drive is a very real thing but it actually makes sense when you realize men have about 30x more testosterone. I don't have to be "in the mood" to smash. But I would argue we like a lot of the traits in the opposite that we don't have. Women like men who are like a rock during tough times. Men like women who can provide emotional support. If it's worth anything, I don't like slobs either and I take my home and personal hygiene seriously lol.

Sorryimjustsaying · 2025-12-05T04:03:45+00:00

I’m not sure about the generalizations on what people want, but I do think we might be entering/in a time where less of human interpersonal relationships are stemming from obligation or from a singular desire (Ex. I want sex/status) that pulls the focus away from the individuals in the relationship.

So maybe less people WILL be compatible? Maybe real compatibility means there has to be a choice with real options, not just avoiding discomfort?

There’s some research about people who get married after higher education (college and up) being more likely to stay together (and the higher age of first marriage meaning people are less likely to divorce, I’ll link below).

https://www.bls.gov/opub/mlr/2013/article/pdf/marriage-and-divorce-patterns-by-gender-race-and-educational-attainment.pdf

This data shows marriages in the U.S at ages 29-34 as less likely to end in divorce than earlier marriages as well as other trends.

And there’s a lot of thoughts on this (including economic and practical that I’m not disregarding) but, what if people who marry later are just able to figure out who they are outside of the external pressure to couple up?

I think discernment in relationships is a skill that has to be built, and more people are getting the time to do so. So maybe less compatibility overall, but through that filter more stable relationships once they are established.

Edited to higher education, and to add a TLDR.

TLDR: Maybe we are less compatible without those obligations? Maybe that’s not a bad thing?

Substantial_Video560 · 2025-12-05T10:17:09+00:00

Honestly no. I think we no longer need each other tbh

TheOneWhoThinketh · 2025-12-05T02:03:30+00:00

Please note that I will be making broad generalizations, but I'm discussing trends, and I'm aware that there are exceptions.

To save time, I'll clarify that I am more of an exception and atypical to the the average man. That being said, I think the problem is that men and women believe that the other gender must mirror them in order for them to be compatible.

The fact is, men and women are different. You've presented various differences in the genders below, but I'll try and explain from my perspective why these differences are complementary.

Men usually want much more sex.

Men and women see sex differently.

I'd say these two are one and the same. Men tend to have spontaneous desire, whereas women tend to have responsive desire. The differences you have described are largely the result of men having to turn women on (and failing at it). Men and women can have the same frequency and desire for sex, if the man understands how to attract the woman. This is just something that historically men did not care for in patriarchal societies, and in modern times are now lied to about due to female sexuality involving unflattering truths about women's desires.

Men and women often have different standards of living, hygiene food quality, and self-care.

Yes, this is by design. The equivalent would be something like women having different standards of competition and the need to win or succeed. This is partially the reason for the pay gap, but otherwise has become a mostly irrelevant and unproductive behavioral trait in modern times, outside of sports and war. Women fail to understand the purpose of men's competitive nature and how it is innate to them, and that this is actually what makes them attractive to women through power, status and just general success. Women do not seek to acquire these things for sexual success, so they either downplay or ignore altogether the effort required to pursue them.

Men and women seem to see romantic relationships very different

This is where I will disagree with you. Men also seek connection and understanding. The difference is communication styles: For men, it's often stressful to have to listen to a woman vent without offering solutions, and for the man to then try and express his feelings in the same way and receive platitudes in return. There's a reason men don't do this with other men unless they're really hurting; they innately understand that it is an emotional burden for other men, and so tend to do it only when they really want help, and not as a casual release. The same experience that a woman thinks is a release is actually a chore for the man.

In general, men and women are not designed for the same purposes. They can have functioning romantic relationships if they recognize the reality that the basis of the relationship is sex and children, not to have a mirrored copy of yourself. If you look for validation in a way the other person cannot provide, you will always be disappointed.

Main-Tiger8537 · 2025-12-05T05:19:36+00:00

i think the issue is how we look at relationships + dating and that people are not honest or avoid open communication...

it is probably more about is that individual person ready for a relationship or not... if we look at the reasons for divorce + how people are vetting it becomes pretty clear how immature people are no matter the gender/sex... specially lesbian + gay relationship data is very interesting...

lesbian couples are more likely to divorce than gay couples

divorce lawyer shares insights "james sexton"

marilyn york "divorce lawyer"

NuclearDoctrine · 2025-12-05T21:25:34+00:00

Sex is usually at the top of a man's top 10 requirements. For women it doesn't even break the top 10. That's an extreme contradiction. If you remove the need to reproduce and guarantee safety and provide day care easy girl corpo jobs to women then what you end up with is excess testosterone. Women simply treat having a partner like having a pet. They don't actually depend on men for anything.

torytho · 2025-12-05T21:34:40+00:00

They fit perfectly together like puzzle pieces. Our differences is what makes us perfect for each other.

theminxisback · 2025-12-07T09:03:11+00:00

I think you are making some pretty good points here.

I will say though... I still to this day have yet to find a man who can keep up with my sex drive... And I am polyamorous so I have a few partners. My live in partner and I have sex an average of 3 to 6 times per day on a daily basis unless we are too busy to that day. It's still not enough for me personally. He checks every single other box I have otherwise. Just... I don't think I will ever find a man who can actually keep up with me sexually. I've learned to cope with it.

There are far too many people on this earth for anyone to be able to really sum it all up... And compatibility varies from individual to individual.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-12-05T06:06:36+00:00

Yeah its harder for men in dating, so they typically have to do a lot more, then women do to get in a relationship in the first place.

So that is why they can find it burdensome and exhausting for women to demand all of the things you listed.

Things that will require more work, on top of what is already expected, which is actual important things like being able to provide and protect.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2025-12-05T17:59:35+00:00

The way of the past benefited men more than women. How do men expect women to go back to a deal that benefits men more when the arrangement we are at now and moving forward towards will benefit women more? You’re asking women to give up and give men what they want in exchange for a crappier life.

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Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-12-05T17:00:25+00:00

You’re right, moral, considerate people of any gender don’t exist. Alas

No_Project_4738 · 2025-12-05T20:58:36+00:00

No, I think that’s why we are seeing people decenter relationships and all the data is pointing to a higher amount of single people as time goes on.

It doesn’t mean it has to stay that way but people would need to change and that might take time.

Available-Level-6280 · 2025-12-08T02:20:33+00:00

For compatibility to happen and work, both people need to be psychologically healthy, not dysfunctional and be moral ie they believe in not mistreating or using people. It's not a matter of red pill vs blue pill and men vs women I just want to point out some troubling things I've noticed regarding problematic men's psychology from being on reddit:

These men may apply double standards to women when it suits them. They may draw conclusions that dont make any logical sense.. they may feel it's a personal flaw or a failure for them if they can't get with a woman or get a woman to like them. Thinking errors are a real thing. For example, if she likes me, she should be willing to have sex with me.

I'm well aware that not all men think this way. This post is not meant to be a dig at all men. I'm just pointing out, what I've observed.

Asleep-Pin-5664 · 2025-12-12T03:56:11+00:00

"Back when men and women needed each other"

We still do need each other. Hateful elements in our society don't want us to realize that.

YeaNobody · 2025-12-05T01:31:33+00:00

clearly enough of us are...else the human race would've ceased to be

OkOutlandishness6370 · 2025-12-05T01:43:38+00:00

I think it's much more doable in certain contexts.

For example, in the past men and women's spheres were kept more separate... cross gender socializing wasn't as big of a thing. This produced the uncertainty/limerance/time to miss each other that is a hidden ingredient of a healthy relationship - you don't give each other's differences time to grate on each other.

Another thing is division of labor. Back when each gender had a clearly delineated set of chores it was impossible to get into a pussy-drying, male-spirit-destroying fracas over the "right" way to do the dishes.

Oh, and having one's relatives be available - instead of working into their late 60s - to help out is huge. Help with child rearing, help with everyday life tasks, giving sound counsel (stuff like grandma telling mom, don't have a midlife crisis and cheat because feelz, or grandpa telling dad, take your fucking wife out on the town for once)

And yeah, being part of a big church community that you could lean on when times get hard instead of lashing out at your spouse because they don't make enough money or can't hold it all together or the kids are running around like wild animals because you're both just so exhausted is ... nice. Feeling like you have this really deep, supportive structure backing you up most times is nice. Being able to reliably call up a friend and have him/her come over and bond over beers or wine while your kids play together instead of being little terrorists is nice.

Oh, and not having huge expectations that the kids HAVE to be helicoptered and shuttled around to every activity and have a sharp eye kept on them at all times... yeah... being able to say, kiddos, get the fuck out of the house and don't come back until the streetlights are on. And then give your spouse a great fuck session instead of hyper-fixating on kids that ultimately need you to keep your relationship healthy so the core of the family remains sturdy and stable. That was probably nice.

And probably, being able to actually pay off your home within 10 years and pay off student loans in a year or two and have a gauranteed factory job in your blue collar industrial town, that was probably good for marital stability too.

And no social media barrage of "my life is 10x better than yours, cause i travel, and i'm a foodie and pretty, and got lipo and a boob job, and have fancier shit than you and am more sexually liberated than you" being blasted in your face 24/7 was probably good for everyone's mental health.

So when everything else is running smoother, men and women have an easier time of it. Also easier time if we actually acknowledge that men and women aren't meant to be perfectly alike or have exactly the same values and ALWAYS agree on everything or "be on the same page." Sometimes it's ok for the man to just not fucking care whether the throw pillows are mauve or fuschia. Sometimes it's ok for the woman to not be share her husband's passion for the sportsball event where roided out meatheads run into each other and give each other brain traumas for no reason any woman has yet discerned.

Sometimes it's ok to not do, or want, or be, EVERYTHING together, or be everything for each other. Sometimes it takes a tribe. Sometimes it's ok to accept that marriage is not a path to self actualization or eat-pray-love style ineffable spiritual haaaaaaaaaaaaaappiness that you can't describe but you're certain can be found in the arms of some foreign spanish hot guy with a deep voice and accent in paris or milan, only you can't get there without squeezing alimony out of your hubs and leaving him, so you do.

Maybe life isn't really about what the hyper individualistic modern liberal careerist "10 reasons there's a swag gap in your relationship" neurotic corporatized globohomosphere tells you it's supposed to be about. Maybe it's about raising kids together and doing the best you can together in an imperfect world and trying to build something valuable (albeit non-glamorous)... like actual loyalty and care and acceptance of each other that stands the test of time... instead of acting on that utterly delusional feeling in your bones that TRUE happiness is always to be found somewhere else, somewhere where the grass is greener.

Surely can't be that there's a problem with you... no... the problem is men. Or women. Or society. Or the chains of having to be a mom/dad/spouse/boring person all the time instead of like, ME, yknow? which is like so oppressive, yknow??? The version of me that cheats and branchswings and tries to trade up and is INCESSANTLY fucking dissatisfied and ALWAYS externalizing it as someone else's fault is so much cooler..... yknow???

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-12-05T03:49:45+00:00

Men and women still need one another. A functioning society still needs widescale hetero pairing and family formation. Maybe less so than before, but the need is still there absent the discovery of some other functional way to arrange society. I often hear: "What do you think we are doing now? We are figuring that out and adapting." But I see little evidence of that.

So men and women are compatible enough given the existential need. Perhaps expectations need to change. Maybe we need to prepare people differently. Maybe we need to change the incentive structure. But you can't have the genders go their own ways.

Away-Performance3231 · 2025-12-05T16:39:50+00:00

I’m a woman who would prefer sex 1-2x a day and has trouble finding men who can keep up

What are you talking abt

Title	Are men and women even compatible in relationships?
Author	AlmondMilkMaybe
Upvotes	18
Comments	56
Date	December 4, 2025 6:19 AM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1pdspx4/are_men_and_women_even_compatible_in_relationships/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-men-and-women-even-compatible-in-relationships.1568068 https://theredarchive.com/post/1568068

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