So we have been together for 20 years. 16 of them married. We have an amazing 18 year old son.

We were heavily infatuated those first two years and got engaged. We couldn't spend one second apart. Until she got pregnant. She hated being pregnant and ended up hating me for it. We talked about an abortion and she made the decision alone to go forward with keeping our son.

I loved him the moment I saw the first ultrasound. The first kick of her stomach. When he was born I couldnt put him down.

She on the other hand, hated being a mom. Her mother died soon after and she went through the worst postpartum depression. My mom is a labor snd delivery nurse and she even said what my wife was going through and acting like was borderline insanity.

But we got though it and ended up getting married soon after (STUPID). In my mind j wanted a family and to live a happy life.

Then 6 months later. I get a call from one of her friends. My wife was at the beach holding hands with another guy. I call her furious and even message this dude on Facebook. She denied it and I wanted to believe her.

Soon we moved 900 miles for my career and 10+ years later I looked thought my archived Facebook messages. I saw the message I wrote him and I went and asked her about it. What really happened.

About 30 days of conversations led to her admitting to an affair with him.

Everyone in my life told me to give her grace. She was young. Lost her mom. And we had such a a great life and a child in HS who is doing amazing.

I forgave her for my son. For the family I worked so hard for.

Then last week, 3 years almost to the date of when i found out about the first one, I noticed a change. She became distant and snippy. Acting like she did back then. We share a Google drive account and when on there i saw snips of pics that say "ever since you came into my life I cant stop smiling" and other things.

I questioned her. She gave me her phone and told me to look. That she had nothing to hide.

I opened her Teams chat for work. She freaked. I saw she was messaging a guy but all the messages were deleted. Except for his last one.

I then opened her email. Checked the deleted files and there were all his messages. On their work email. Work teams.

"I love you too" and items like that.

She then flipped and said "ya. We're done". I asked her, so what, you going to go F him? She said "probably"

My son heard the entire thing. I thought he was sleeping. He was home from college on spring break. I called my mom who lives 900 miles away and she on the the spot got me a plane ticket for that day.

My son then asked to come as he didnt want to stay with her. As we left. She couldnt even say a word to him.

My son, being the smart kid he is, last night sends me a text. He had texted his mom asking her about why she would cheat on his dad... and who was this guy. Name.

She gave him all the info and admitted to everything. He then screen capped it and sent it to me. Said I may want that for the lawyer.

For 3 years I sat there and hated myself for not leaving. Always telling myself that doing the right thing was the hardest. But no more. Im not fighting for her because she never fought for me.

Anyone who has caught their wife cheating. Guys... it may seem hard to leave what you built and know. But dont do what I did. 3 years I sat there wanting to get past it. She did me a favor because i am FREE.

Edit. For the record. I have a virtual lawyer meeting tuesday. Im moving in with my parents since my job is remote until the house sells. NC is our location so we need to separate for 1 year