Women’s problem is overestimating the amount of common sense men have.

Jetpine9 · 2026-06-16T15:18:09+00:00

"The lie" is much more insidious. To some extent it's the same lie told to women; play your role perfectly and you will be rewarded with perfect happiness in some form of domestic bliss.

Both genders are literally "groomed" (in the most sinister modern sense of the word) to fulfill this role.

The problem for men is that male grooming isn't as bonding as the female version. Cooperation and social bonding aren't biologically more feminine traits. Men and boys enjoy the warmth of social inclusion* and belonging as well, but they are denied it. Instead the emphasis is on working hard (Grind!) to display competence, compete, and be an independent individual who needs no one but CHOOSES that special gal.

It's psychological child abuse.

* Men try to recapture that sense of belonging that was denied to them with various fraternal groups, military organizations, gangs, religions, xenophobic clan identifications, etc, with limited amounts of success.

the_scar_when_you_go · 2026-06-16T14:19:54+00:00

I disagree that those men genuinely don't know things. More that they aren't taking those things seriously.

A bit like the "walkaway wife" thing. A guy will start out saying that he had no idea anything was wrong. But if he talks long enough, it comes out that he did know. He knew for yrs. He just didn't take any of it seriously.

Idk if it's an empathy thing, or a solipsism thing, or what. But it's amazing that they survive in real life. Surely the, "nothing is real, nothing matters," attitude doesn't fly in the workplace.

Terrible_Mixture_759 · 2026-06-16T15:43:46+00:00

I dunno what you're talking about tbh. At 11 I knew I was too ugly and weird to date and had to change that if I wanted to.

MarioWilson122 · 2026-06-17T06:08:32+00:00

Well, feminism taught a lot of men that focusing on looks, attraction, status, and similar factors was shallow, while emphasizing things like being nice, respectful, emotionally available, and treating women well. Women reinforced plenty of those messages too. So when some men later discover that attraction is still a major factor, it isn't surprising that they feel misled.

Sure, someone can say they should have figured it out themselves, but that ignores the fact that many men were actively being told something different. A lot of men who aren't RP genuinely believe listening to women and mainstream advice is part of being a good man. Then years later they're told attraction should have been obvious all along.

The irony is that you're acting as if these men simply failed to observe reality, when many of them were following the advice they were given because they thought it would make them better partners. If the message was always that attraction mattered this much, then why were so many men repeatedly told not to focus on it in the first place?

ArtisticLime9769 · 2026-06-16T13:01:25+00:00

I was bored, i saw another ragebait by LillthOfBabylon and now i am not.

I believe a lot of struggles with women young people have comes from the way people live now. Too much social media not so much real life experiences.

Second point is coming from the fact that dating nowadays and making friends are two parallel worlds and depends on entirely different traits. In dating you need to impress women, in friendship you need just have a few aligned views or hobbies.
You can have a lot of friends but have 0 chances to date anyone or you can be a person without friends but can land with 10/10 most of the times.

AnimalLoose2402 · 2026-06-16T16:17:49+00:00

I’ve said this before but a lot of the problem stems from these parents lying to their sons. They are the ones that sold them: just be nice and kind and you will get a woman.

Their moms told them how kind and smart they were and that they would be rewarded for it. Instead of telling them: life isn’t fair. Being a good person isn’t a key to unlocking success in life. I’m happy a lot of them are learning it now, and to an extent I can understand the frustration.

I think where women get annoyed is the men who then turn it around and get mad at US. Yes women have always liked “tall dark charismatic handsome providers” it’s not our fault your mama lied to you.

Fan_Service_3703 · 2026-06-16T12:44:04+00:00

I'm not sure what you're point you're actually trying to make here, but I'm going to try and address it anyway.

I started thinking about girls when I was what, 10? 11? And every girl my age at that time was in love with Justin Bieber because of how good looking he was. It didn't take long to work out that I needed to do things like go to the gym and get a haircut in order to have a chance with girls (though the fact I was poor meant I couldn't do these as much as I liked). I think most boys are aware they needed to be at least decent looking to have a chance

It was everything else about modern dating that was confusing, not being told that for most women and girls, you needed to behave traditionally masculine as well as being good looking to have a chance, being confused when the traditionally masculine bullies always had a girlfriend while the 'sweet, sensitive' (not saying I was either of these to be clear) boys were never considered.

Legal_Implement_5098 · 2026-06-16T12:56:04+00:00

If you have enough money, i dont think men should have to do any of this just to get sex, sounds horribly exhausting, its better to use workarounds, i prefer transactional relationships, she gets what she wants, i get out of her what i want, everyone wins.

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Charming-Joke696 · 2026-06-16T13:02:53+00:00

Correct.

Men are inherently unintelligent.

Basically sub-human really.

Chemical-Low209 · 2026-06-16T13:09:44+00:00

Guys. LilithofBabylon is speaking. Stop listening 🎧

Pitiful-Purple-7459 · 2026-06-16T18:17:01+00:00

A little bit more to say to that I think you see us as obtuse because you know you see your communication as understandable well subconsciously demanding nuance. If you say you want a nice guy yet you're with someone with the extensive violent criminal history we're going to ask for some explanation your answer is going to be like you're not my type but yet we're seeing that your type isn't even your type.

Another clear example is let's take something about hey if things need to be done around the house I expect someone to just do it meaning like your male partner but that's still demanding reality to interpret your needs for you instead of taking agency and communication. Within a lot of female complaints about men there's the underlying thing of wanting to not have to communicate things that reasonably the demand communication

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-06-16T13:24:33+00:00

It’s not stupidity. It’s entitlement. Otherwise men wouldn’t be saying they should have what other men have, get angry about not getting it, or threaten to burn down society and oppress women because they don’t get it

InitialNo3061 · 2026-06-16T14:30:20+00:00

Can't spell Lillithofbabylon without multiple Ls

ColonelGray · 2026-06-16T13:02:50+00:00

I just knew this would be a LillithOfBabylon shitpost.

Livid-Log7463 · 2026-06-16T15:40:51+00:00

The reality it that it’s men expecting women to be capable of attraction with any level of variance like they have as men, then learning that the standard they have to live up to and the variance they can have is far more restrictive and exclusive.

pico-sooooo · 2026-06-16T17:21:47+00:00

I think if you tell someone explicitly that you should value content of character more, then it’s not naive or unintelligent to believe that.

5339Times15 · 2026-06-16T17:48:09+00:00

I think many of these men have been gaslit. It is not that they lack the sense to observe that attraction is key to romantic relationships, but often whenever verbalized this concept is downplayed leading to a questioning of their observations. The downplaying of the importance of attraction is paired with the framing of romantically unsuccessful males as having a moral failing, further reinforcing the idea that it is not one’s attractiveness that is the hinderance. This combined with typical messaging that is given about relationships to young men, being kind, respectful, ect.. will get you a good relationship, and the masculine expectation not to talk about these things with peers leads men to be left questioning their observations.

I would agree there is some overestimation of men’s ability to realize that women and people who are not close friends are unlikely to diverge their advice from the socially acceptable cliché.

The show off your personality anecdote illustrates your point, but also alludes to another unspoken underlying role expected of men, performance. Some men are repeatedly told to “just be yourself” or similar colloquialisms, however as you illustrated this is likely ineffective for many men. This leaves men in a conflicted position. Go against advice I have heard many times and mold my personality into something that is seen as attractive or continue to be unsuccessful while being myself. There is an obvious solution while rationalizing this individually, however asking for guidance as a man will lead to further ambiguity.

I also think the connotation of your post points towards a failing of individual men aggregated to a whole, while not considering the social factors that lead the individuals to their conclusions. It positions confusion of men wholly on them as a lack of common sense and removes any responsibility from the people who give them advice that conflicts with observable reality.

When someone is being gaslit it is easy for an outside observers to see the break from reality. I find it condescending to justify gaslighting with the assumption that someone with common sense should see through it.

Pitiful-Purple-7459 · 2026-06-16T18:11:37+00:00

The thing is woman kind of thriving arbitrary greenness. So understanding woman is a lot of trial in error. And this is coming from someone who's actually successful with women. Women absolutely do not make sense at face value you do absolutely have to dig deeper. The fact that you can't take women literally at their word his signing up that women can be difficult.

However on the other side the average male will tell you something and they will want that exactly. Women on this Reddit and didn't real life often talk about how they shouldn't have to ask for things which is childish in my opinion but men however have never met a man who spent upset about asking for a bj and getting it.

Women’s problem is overestimating the amount of common sense men have.

Comments

Most men arent so their personality still matters.

Most men ARE NOT reaching that level of attraction.

Why talk about a league most will never get to?

Your personality still matters.

So why the fuck is that a surprise?

Who told him it never mattered?!

Most men dont have pretty privilege.

WHO SAID THIS?

Then why would you want those women?

What the fuck are you talking about?

Thats not what I said.

Why do you give a fuck about those women? Are those the only women you know? Are those the only women you want?

Because we kick those women out our friend groups. Meanwhile men wanna fuck them.

The fathers rarely prefer that, but sure. Blame it on society.

Literally the only thing they talk about.

Title	Women’s problem is overestimating the amount of common sense men have.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	0
Comments	231
Date	June 16, 2026 12:33 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1u7c8iq/womens_problem_is_overestimating_the_amount_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/womens-problem-is-overestimating-the-amount-of.1582990 https://theredarchive.com/post/1582990