Why are men shamed for using porn?

uwotm8_8 · 2026-07-07T09:40:42+00:00

Takes power away from women. If men aren’t consumed by their lust who is gonna give them money?

AbysmalDescent · 2026-07-07T13:22:09+00:00

It's threefold but it's basically just sexism. One, male sexuality is often ridiculed and belittled. Two, society/women expect men to do everything in dating, and masturbation cuts into this. Three, men are typically objectified as success objects, and masturbation is seen as a lack of success.

Male sexuality often being ridiculed or shamed is something that is still very normalized. A lot of it is misandry but a lot of it is also just female chauvinism and protecting women's egos by putting down men. Sexist women often feel better about themselves after putting down men, and society will enable them in this because it caters to women(gynocentrism is the norm in most places).

Most women also expect men to do all of the initiating and pursuing, and this is true from both self titled feminists and conservative women. This is, again, something that is largely accepted because it serves women and protects their egos, and gynocentrism is the norm. Women/society will therefore shame men for masturbating, and by extension consuming porn, because men who aren't as sexually frustrated are less likely to go jumping through hoops to serve women's whims and entitlements about dating. Women could easily just fix this by showing more initiative or being more forward with their interest in men, but they would rather shame and attack men instead.

Most women also view men are success objects in the sense that they want men that other women want, and they romanticize the idea of men who are successful with other women. That's why you will often see women spot a blatant player and, instead of just instantly recognizing and rejecting the obvious trap, will just play into it. Many women also just expect men to "be good at sex", because they see sex as a service or commodity that men provide for them, rather than an actual human connection. So, when they see men consume porn, they assume that they aren't as successful or as "skilled", and therefore see them as something to shame.

ShaquilleOatmeal7542 · 2026-07-07T19:45:00+00:00

Men are shamed for everything, basically.

Junior-Ad-2072 · 2026-07-07T08:31:56+00:00

They're shamed for breathing and existing, so why not porn while we're at it?

dogbert74 · 2026-07-07T09:00:02+00:00

Meanwhile most women have a bedside drawer full of vibrators...

ReasonableDoubt_0726 · 2026-07-07T09:05:33+00:00

Mix of things. One, puritan moralists. Two, porn replaces women and women and allies perceive it to be a threat. Three, porn really and through “perception” is viewed as being massively misogynistic. Four, double standards, you can attack men with little to no mainstream come back. Call out women on this and you’d be called a manipulate, controlling, misogynist. Five, pseudo scientifically informed Reddit nut jobs like to claim that all male mental health issues are caused by porn.

roughback · 2026-07-07T12:43:24+00:00

Men can't win either way.

You either become a gooner or Leonardo DeCaprio, but you still gonna be ridiculed.

jc0187 · 2026-07-08T00:16:43+00:00

I remember I posted a question on one of the subs, asking why women are also against ai porn and they said that it still disparages women. Lol. Like what? A computer generated image of a fake female disparages women? Wtf kind of reasoning is that? The problem with modern western women, is that they are always trying to control men. They want the ability to deny men anything they disapprove of.

tiredfromlife2019 · 2026-07-07T08:43:19+00:00

Nobody cares about women using porn, romantasy are bodice rippers but no issue.

Its the same thing with video games, why do people dislike it and see it as making people violent? Cause loser males play video games. If video games was purely women playing, no censorship or hand wringing about video games would exist

BowtiepastaMasta · 2026-07-07T20:55:50+00:00

It’s a double standard. Women will applaud women in sex work, but will shame men who view/use sex work. It’s womens logic, that’s why it doesn’t make sense.

InsaneBasti · 2026-07-08T06:22:19+00:00

Are they? Is anyone? This seems like such an oldschool mindset

BelCantoTenor · 2026-07-07T14:53:22+00:00

Pornography disempowers women who use their appearance as power. Women who weaponize sex to control men. The same women also want to keep prostitution illegal as well. It disempowers their methods of control.

Remember, women gatekeep other women’s sexuality. Imagine a prostitute, a porn star, and a few women who are married, and some who are single who weaponize sex for power all in the same room. They are two blades on the same sword. They are both the object of desire, both making different choices on how they lead their lives. Yet, they both have the same objective, to empower themselves through the disempowerment of men using sex.

As a man, the goal is to be in control of yourself, without falling victim to either one. There are women who don’t do either of these activities. And those are the women who have seen through this kind of disgraceful behavior. They understand that using their beauty as manipulation leads to nowhere but a miserable existence in a relationship with a disempowered man. The women who understand this don’t use sex as a weapon or a power dynamic. They approach sex and relationships differently.

stanfy86 · 2026-07-07T21:06:37+00:00

Because Women feel like they are entitled to control mens sexuality.

Imissyourgirlfriend2 · 2026-07-07T11:39:44+00:00

The broader question is: why are men shamed for using porn but the women who make porn are considered empowered?

uberdriver2710 · 2026-07-07T15:03:38+00:00

Jealousy

rabel111 · 2026-07-07T21:05:17+00:00

Men are shamed for looking at porn. Men are shamed for having sexual feelings. Men are shamed for wanting sex, and having sex. Men are just being shamed for being masculine.

The clear message is that women just like shaming men, and no matter who you are, what you do, what you don't do, or whateve, they will continue to shame you. Its their addiction. Shame men is how many women stroke their own egos.

OriginalChocolate645 · 2026-07-07T08:33:28+00:00

Cuz religion. Most religions (major ones) frown upon masturbation which is associated with porn, thus porn is « evil ». And on top of that, it pads some wallets, why - fear inducing -> buy product. So in short, fear is used by a group of people, to better control you or sell you something. Mankind has masturbated and watched porn since the dawn of time, and is pretty ok. Of course, exageration is not good, but that can be said about anything.

elmorrowind02 · 2026-07-10T05:33:05+00:00

It's similar to when woman are encouraged and even supported by friends to use a vibrator but if a guy mentioned using a flashlight he would be considered a weirdo.

Fearless-Scallion498 · 2026-07-07T16:22:34+00:00

Men have to keep being framed as the villains. It allows female sex workers to always play the victim, and they have room to not take any responsibility for their actions.

ReclusiveNatured · 2026-07-07T13:00:34+00:00

It minimizes women's power in real life when dudes satisfy themselves with porn

Sexual appeal is a large part of women's agency

TheDunnaMan · 2026-07-11T08:56:00+00:00

All men's hobbies are shamed, I guarantee you if women were the primary customers for something like prostitution, it would be legal

Comfortable_Change_6 · 2026-07-07T09:54:55+00:00

No idea, but women will try to use anything to shame us.

Stay Strong Brothers, the internet is made for porn.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqwzX_-IdxY

(most advances we enjoy today like image and video are made for porn ;)

elebrin · 2026-07-07T20:26:15+00:00

Women want to control when and how we cum.

There used to be all sorts of anti masturbation things on the market targeted at mothers of boys. Masturbation has always been something that is frowned upon, something immoral that you aren't supposed to do, because women (the longstanding arbiters of what is socially acceptable and correct) don't like it. It's as simple as that.

Choosing to stay single and masturbate using free porn is a rebellion against the norms that women have dictated to us.

Why do you think they circumcise us? It's to control masturbation. They explicitly want to deny us self pleasure, because they do not know how to achieve that pleasure themselves or they simply are not capable of it.

I think it is jealousy. Many women either don't know how to get themselves to orgasm, or they are unable to, so they don't want men to.

IceCorrect · 2026-07-07T11:25:20+00:00

From women: Power. Guy who spend too much time consuming porn wont have time to spend on women

From men: just for picking easy way. Sometimes its caring, when they start paing for it

Early-Beach164 · 2026-07-07T10:44:59+00:00

I find it fucked up that women want men to be experienced at sex. Where else can we get experience other than porn if we aren't scoring in real life?

Also porn is morally right in 2026

paulsown · 2026-07-08T00:40:07+00:00

Because it allows men to see what women will do for/to the right man but not them.

Former-Dragonfly2226 · 2026-07-07T10:33:57+00:00

I used to feel ashamed but our natural urges are there for a reason. I hide it because of societal shame, and frankly it's no one else's business.
I actually prefer it to sex in many ways.

Cindylynn43 · 2026-07-08T02:52:50+00:00

Guess I should be ashamed. I watch it with my husband and by myself! 🤯 The whole shamimg men for watching porn is bull 💩. Women are the worst with the double standards. All the pearl clutching about it is ridiculous. It's healthier to be in a relationship with someone who knows what you like. It makes me sad that so many men have to hide their porn from their wives and girlfriends.

Significant_Koala_61 · 2026-07-07T21:58:30+00:00

Cause we like it and it makes us happy

CoolGovernment6319 · 2026-07-15T15:52:05+00:00

Because it allows men to jerk off instead of buying women free dinner.

_extramedium · 2026-07-08T01:33:16+00:00

While it can probably be used in a healthy way it can have a strong negative effect on others. Distorting reality basically

fd0263 · 2026-07-07T10:51:19+00:00

Look, correct me if I’m wrong but I heard that there have been studies done on porn and it’s really not good for your brain. Not all porn is the same though, videos of people getting fucked is worse than pictures of boobies, or smut reading. Porn is a vice and should be treated as such, for both genders.

Drayenn · 2026-07-07T14:26:14+00:00

So many reasons.

Religion shames people for sex. I hear lots of stories of no sex before marriage in the US still.

Theres a mens anti porn/anti fap movement. Talks about how bad it is to watch porn, masturbation being bad/semen retention being good (its pseudoscience bs). Etc. I think a lot of porn bad is overblown and people are super Quick to diagnose porn addiction and death grip.. both where the solution seems to be: dont masturbate.

Then feminists tend to go moral like its sexist to watch porn. Some women a In porn are abused, etc. The latter is fair but i assume its rare enough? Although i dont trust thai porn.. they all look like they dont like it. Feminists also seem to think all men are dumb as shit and will all go on violent sex/choking without asking consent because they saw it once in porn

Then theres dudes with actual issues. Theres also a raise of erectile dysfunction. But i wonder if its due to porn or lack of fitness/sleep/healthy diet overall in society. I wouldnt scoff at performance pressure being worse with how intense porn sex is.

Some are legitimate reason, lots are BS,

himehikikomori · 2026-07-07T16:54:41+00:00

I prefer when my man watches porn. I dont have to be sexual often and he gets his enjoyment. I dont want to be his only sexual outlet.

Secret_Excuse7439 · 2026-07-07T20:17:23+00:00

I personally view porn as generally very harmful for both men and woman, for woman it increases risks around grape culture and for men can cause financial issues among just general mental health issues.

I don’t shame men for consuming it though, I think it should definitely be banned and men with an addiction for it should get help.

Appropriate-Major649 · 2026-07-07T21:35:24+00:00

Because control over men's sexuality emasculates.

Local-Willingness784 · 2026-07-08T01:01:38+00:00

male gooners are not productive plus male sexuality is just an ick, unless it happens to be exactly how women (in plural) want it to be (and they are not a monolith btw...)

but i really think its more about economics, with how much men do to impress or fuck or court women and how much they spend, it kind of make sense for society to shame gooners and the like, its one less taxpayer/cannon fodder/spender so if you can whip them up into being complacent with shame, you can bet thats what they will do.

Green-Marionberry703 · 2026-07-08T07:23:41+00:00

Anything we do is wrong lmao

MeasurementNice295 · 2026-07-08T10:31:54+00:00

Same reason people still think it's Ok to butcher babies in cold blood = Male sexual suppression

Visual_Seaweed1087 · 2026-07-07T11:18:19+00:00

l
pu k jljlll hi

ZandorFelok · 2026-07-07T15:23:36+00:00

Porn has a history of association with the exploitation of minors

Regular_NormalGuy · 2026-07-07T18:19:06+00:00

I'm a man and if I could, I would heavily regulate porn. Especially young men are keep getting trapped in this shit. Use porn all you want but it will just rot out your brains if you over consume it.

AdventurousCut3685 · 2026-07-09T12:41:21+00:00

Because i can actually have really bad health affects.

oncledan · 2026-07-07T20:03:11+00:00

If you don't see the shame in it, there's no hope for you brother.

ClearAndPure · 2026-07-08T11:17:45+00:00

Because it’s creepy and not good for you or society.

YoM0mma · 2026-07-08T12:21:28+00:00

Depending on who you are talking to, there are people out there who are genuinely disgusted by the human body and the act of sex, so for them to cope they shame others so their opinion remains righteous.

Impossible_Split_500 · 2026-07-10T14:05:30+00:00

Everyone is shamed for watching porn. Women actually get 10 times more shamed for doing sexual stuff. Men aren't being called : whore,slut ,hooker, cunt,bitch ,easy etc for doing sexual stuff. Sexual stigma is bigger on women and we have to deal with real opression because of purity culture. People hate us If we aren't virgins or we act "sluty". In some countries women are still killed for not being virgins

Advanced_Poetry1235 · 2026-07-10T22:41:38+00:00

Using porn is a grey area, but for me personally, I stopped because I did research into the industry. Porn sites often exaggerate how women are supposed to look like in a sexual encounter and can be very damaging, since a lot of men use it to ‘gain knowledge’ about intimacy. The porn industry also has loose control on what is posted on sites such as OF on PH or other websites. This leads to cases of people benefitting off of child sexual trafficking or rape situations. The porn industry also just kills your brain and can harm your sexual reproductive organs. Nobody is trying to say you can’t jerk off, but this is what I would say are the big factors of why you should not use porn:

1) if boundaries are set in your relationship and your partner is not comfortable with you watching it 2) the ethical aspects of the industry 3) your mental health may suffer

I also want to preface that many sites are a machine and do not give women their whole earnings. Unlike some sites such as OF, many sites are controlled by big corporations so the involved person gets underpaid.

Emotional_Goose7981 · 2026-07-07T12:56:45+00:00

Porn is bad.

With that said men are shamed for it bc its another feminist argument abt the patriarchy etc.

Vetril · 2026-07-07T12:16:28+00:00

Let's start by saying context matters and this answer is of course generalization. For the same reason why they are shamed for drinking too much, with the extra layer of being sexual. But even ij sex positive environments, it's the abuse and the addiction that carry the stigma.

Crafty-Wind-7850 · 2026-07-08T00:00:14+00:00

porn is a highly exploitative industry that profits off of trafficked women and men, it actively harms your brain and excessive masturbation alters your hormonal balance. it’s not a matter of “shaming” men who view porn, it’s a matter of informing them of the dangers of doing so and the harm it causes.

NostalgicKunt · 2026-07-07T18:28:20+00:00

We will get shamed no matter what But using porn is not beneficial for us though, better off without it

jobiegermano · 2026-07-07T20:24:24+00:00

Some men get shamed for watching porn. Some men get praised for watching porn. Some women get shamed for watching porn. Some women get praised for watching porn.

Some men get shamed for being in porn. Some men get praised for being in porn. Some women get shamed for being in porn. Some women get praised for being in porn.

Stop trying to make yourself a victim all… the… damn… time and just live your life happy.

theSilentNerd · 2026-07-07T21:36:41+00:00

Men shouldn't be shamed for using porn,.but we should spread consciousness about addiction.
In an unrelated topic, if men are shamed for consuming such content, no one talks about the amount of erotica slop being written, trying to be as famous as 50 shades of gray (also a writing slop).

Next_Wear_5572 · 2026-07-08T17:11:37+00:00

Because people are stupid very stupid in humanly stupid

Alternative-Ad3998 · 2026-07-08T17:49:53+00:00

Rome was flooded with porn and feminist ideas. It fell apart quickly. Zionist propaganda machine. Most models are abused if not trafficked women. It's another facet of sexual slavery. Study the Byzantine culture after Rome collapse. They learned from the chaos.

Sword-of-Akasha · 2026-07-08T20:23:52+00:00

Sexuality is a weapon. Society redirects sex energy into violence which is useful for the state. You need infantry of angry young men willing to ejaculate death with their automatic lead spitters at insurgents that look suspiciously like civilians. In the after orgasm clarity, people might contemplate why the system is as it is. You don't want that. You want repression and you want just enough availability of porn so that almost EVERYONE partakes as an open secret and is therefore shamed and riddled with internal guilt. To channel away that shame and wash it, you've go the traditional opiate of the masses Religion. Gay porn is consumed most in more religious repressed areas.

Our society is more comfortable with mass murder than a nipple slip at on TV during the sacred NFL. 'Protecting' the children is an outright lie, because the response to school shootings has been 'it's just one of those things'.

If the sex industry was more accepted and mainstream, we might have rights and protections for actors. However the industry 'thrives' at the cost of those involved because of the shame and repression. Sex workers face violence and stds because they must operate illegally in many areas.

War is fine and fun. Love between consenting adults is 'wrong'. A natural and beautiful human instinct is therefore reduced to taboo.

Decent_Muscle_3172 · 2026-07-09T10:09:00+00:00

Because it makes women look bad. But they fail to realise that the women in pornographic videos are choosing to make these videos.

ZeroyJenkins · 2026-07-07T08:11:01+00:00

Idk, but if the feminists hate it, that’s all the more reason for me to keep watching

Time-Dot-6608 · 2026-07-07T12:08:40+00:00

I have a lot of thoughts on this (not judgy or bad just older person - lots of partners different perspective thinking- which is probably unhelpful on a subreddit.) I don’t think that there is any mental illness involved in “visual stimulation”- we all learn/perceive things differently in our heads. So, please don’t hold that “factor” as a detriment, to yourself as a human or as a character flaw. Some people are more visual, some people learn hands on, some are more word based. Sometimes there are patterns among this that “tend” to align more along gender lines, but also align people to individual traits of people.

Outing myself here (cause old enough to not care anymore). I think it also has to do with perspective. We all perceive the data or input differently. I can watch visual porn, graphic stuff, and see it as an outsider “birds eye view”, whereas a “smut” book would be easier to see myself in? Because it is removed from visual imagery…

I went further to explain it - but dont want to go that far in this reddit.

casualcaesius · 2026-07-08T17:12:05+00:00

But having an onlyfans is great and empowering tho!

Organic-Mud-8728 · 2026-07-07T22:20:50+00:00

Because it forces to look at men as losers.

Embarrassed-Joke5851 · 2026-07-07T07:53:22+00:00

cuz it's addictive

True-Lychee · 2026-07-07T11:28:44+00:00

50% of gamers are women today. They tend towards different types of games (like mobile). Why is that never mentioned?

Daytona_675 · 2026-07-08T01:02:52+00:00

because it's sinful

No_Fudge_308 · 2026-07-07T10:11:16+00:00

Because porn is shameful...? What?

Time-Dot-6608 · 2026-07-07T11:18:51+00:00

Real question- for those of you likening porn to “romantasy” have you delved into that ? Like what “romantasy” looks like ? Have you looked at different models of porn- that for a male gaze vs a female gaze ? Do you distinguish a difference in content - or not ?

Because I watch porn- traditional stuff my partner shares, general stuff, female centred porn, and have recently started reading some “romantascy” because I wanted to see what it is like (after similar conversations here). Can we not distinguish the difference between the options? What are you “imagining” picturing “romantascy” to do?

Any-Cantaloupe-1262 · 2026-07-07T12:24:46+00:00

Because it's unhealthy and might give you unrealistic expectations

andrewscool101 · 2026-07-07T15:34:46+00:00

They are? I know the idea of being a "gooner", someone who spends all their time watching porn is bad - but I'd agree that is actually bad for you. Every guy friend I've spoke to about porn has said they watch it, and they've never said it in a way that implies they feel shame about it. I've never felt shamed for talking about porn.

RADsupernova · 2026-07-08T12:21:00+00:00

It has nothing do do with the porn and everything to do with the men.

Side note: imagine how many onlyfans girls would be flat broke if men stopped paying for their "porn"...

Leather-Put1044 · 2026-07-07T08:38:35+00:00

cuz its bad (as a man)

TheCrazedCat · 2026-07-08T03:46:54+00:00

Porn is degrading to both men and women. It's the everyday heroin towards all men and ruins both their psychological and sexual health. Potentially their physical as well.

Porn is Misogyny. Porn is misandry. Quit

Vijkhal · 2026-07-07T09:54:33+00:00

I dont feel shamed at all.
But it is definitely problematic how many men prefer demeaning treatment/performance towards women, as well as very young looking actresses.

Same as with how shockingly many men go to low-tier prostitutes, often living and working under horrible and borderline illegal conditions.

Unethical behavior is always to be shamed, regardless of whom or towards whom.

And also of course, because its a tool for the far right to surpress and control men, e.g. via religion. That is something I can only laugh about.

DreamTurtle1 · 2026-07-08T07:01:50+00:00

Because porn is bad, it's addictive and causes many problems in the brain and erectile dysfunction, has the same effects of stong drugs on the brain, most scenes show violence, most porn performers are abused and are addicted to alcohol and drugs to survive and for most of them there isn't an easy way out, porn is connected to sex trafficking. According to research people that watch porn are more likely to engage in abuse and violence. There are many books and articles around, even interviews with porn performers on YouTube, I would suggest to anybody the website fightthenedrug dot org

Cactus2711 · 2026-07-07T08:18:58+00:00

Because many men use it when they can’t get laid

Time-Dot-6608 · 2026-07-07T12:50:27+00:00

So- you chose a more graphic book (that I haven’t read - as opposed to a more “standard” romance like A court of thorn and roses / fourth wing… which are a mainstream version of such…

<video>

This is an excerpt… like sure, suggestive, sexual… but I dont know what kind of porn you have seen but when the stuff I have seen is eyes watering deep throating, POV face sitting, up close cock thrusting… I am seeing a fair chasm between the two ?

RafayoAG · 2026-07-08T08:49:30+00:00

Why not?

Big-Culture861 · 2026-07-07T09:34:06+00:00

Because porn is abnormal, extreme, and as a person who has bow decided to stop using it my sex drive and sex, and masturbation is far better now.
Porn is a terrible industry, and its brain rot for the brain.

Title	Why are men shamed for using porn?
Author	computer_scientist_
Upvotes	325
Comments	286
Date	July 7, 2026 7:24 AM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1upnu30/why_are_men_shamed_for_using_porn/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-are-men-shamed-for-using-porn.1584440 https://theredarchive.com/post/1584440

Comments