Please explain to me what is actually game and how should I study it?

wilhelmtherealm · 2026-07-19T15:59:39+00:00

Study it.

Most importantly, practice it.

1 hour study for every 5 hours of practice.

Don't fall into bs trap of endless studying.

razama · 2026-07-19T15:42:59+00:00

To be fair, you have a good point because game has become so meta that the basics are skipped over and leave out context or people speaking past each other on the topic.

GAME IS: Learning and using social dynamics to increase your charisma and attractiveness to others.

There are many styles and philosophies. Like martial arts, it’s on you to study and practice techniques you learn about - and you learn about them from a variety of resources.

You already threw out terms that are important. There should still be a glossary on this sub. Google those terms and examples of them in use. Then practice those techniques and philosophy everyday.

Are you stuck on something in particular? Is there some categorical question that you can’t find an answer to?

BurnItDownSR · 2026-07-19T15:15:47+00:00

Oof. Good luck buddy. This sub has been bastardizing Game for years. It started to get really bad in 2020. I doubt you'll get any helpful answers.

Lacunaethra · 2026-07-19T14:28:53+00:00

Game is the ability to create sexual spark between persons.

You can study all the books out there, watch youtube "gurus", learn negs and DHVs and all this useless stuff.. but you won't get a single step further until you don't go out, talk to girls, see what works and what doesn't.

It's most of all learning by doing, you need to develop your own, personal game in order to be really successful.

norwegiandoggo · 2026-07-19T15:53:15+00:00

Game = Using social skills to seduce someone to sex, or a relationship.

Study it = Practice it in real life (most important), read theory and ask for advice (less important)

jarrai8000 · 2026-07-19T21:38:17+00:00

None of that stuff matters. The guy I know who has a different woman every night, will meet women in the park, coffee shops, and rarely a bar. He doesn't spend money on them. He doesn't play the normal games. He's quirky, highly intelligent, and living a full fledged non-monogamus lifestyle.

He's got his own game.

Same for me. I've been pretty successful, yet my style and approach is totally different. I created a system to minimize decision fatigue, and to ensure I could afford to go on the number of dates I would go on. I'm aggressive, I'm forward, and I'm weird.

What's the point? Each of us can study different tactics and strategies, and try them out. Yet over time, as you learn more about what it is women really want, more about what you really want, and get in the reps via going on 100's of dates, you develop your own game.

My game doesn't work on most white women, or prudes, or gold diggers (I am beyond broke lol)

My buddies game doesn't work on women looking for a relationship, or wanting something more than a good time.

Yet we can both claim to be successful. Because we've both refined our approach.

It's a numbers game, it's a game of chance, it's a game of luck.

Just get out there and play!

IemandZijnPa · 2026-07-19T15:10:40+00:00

I can talk for hours about this topic and I have done so in the past, but to put it as simple as possible: game is when you can be your true authentic self in any and all social encounters. Think about it: when you are with your best friends you joke around, bust eachothers balls and you just have fun. Now can you be that same person with a complete strange hot woman in a bar? If you have to ask this question than probably not. Well. Why not? This is where the phrase: 'just be yourself' comes from. It sounds simple, because how can you not be yourself right? How about in a job interview? With a casier at the grocery store? I think Owen Cook said it best in his Blue Prints course: being attractive is not something that you do, it's something you are. It is being, not doing. There is no magic pickup line you can say that will make women fall for you, but if you are your true self you can say anything and it will be magic. It will not work all the time and on every one, but it is the only way. So depending on where you are in your journey you will need to work on yourself and get experience with social interactions. If you want the best possible result go out as much as you can and don't try to get the hot girl but instead try tohave fun and make friends. Talk to everybody. If you do only this, you will get better at game automatically. Will some nights suck? Sure! Will some nights be awesome? Of course. But most nights will be somewhere in between. If you really want to (also) study, than see if you can find any course from David DeAngelo and/or RSD. These were easy to find for free when I was in my research phase and it is still the best material to guide you in the right direction, but you HAVE to take action also. Go out, have fun, make friends, repeat. If you really want an answer to what game is, read the book 'the game' by Neil Strauss. It will teach you about a guy named Mystery who also gave courses back in the day, but was later passed by by the RSD guys, where Owen Cook (who named himself Tyler Durden who was his favorite movie persona) also had a role in the book. I am myself working on a course for my own two boys so maybe 'll test post some of the lessons I've learned in the last two decades here some day. For me this journey resulted in me marrying my dream wife which gave me my beautiful boys. But nevertheless I still work on my game even now. Because it all comes down to figuring out who you are and how to improve in any and all social situations. I wish you luck young Grasshopper. If you want more pointers than tell me more about yourself. How old are you? How are you in social situations? How often do you go out? What mostly happens when you do go out? Be honest. Not just for me, but for yourself. Good luck!

snowcroc · 2026-07-19T16:02:09+00:00

Commenting to I can come back!

rocksos · 2026-07-19T17:27:33+00:00

I feel like in the olden day 'game' was more about stacking techniques' in order to , supposedly, make a girl attracted to you, which you can learn and implement very easily i.e

So negs (you learn to memorised thinks like 'are them nails fake? Oh...shame', OR 'That's so funny, your nose wiggles when you speak' ETC)

Cold reads (you learn/memorise saying things like 'Are you a lawyer? No? You seem like the type to argue just to prove you're right.")

Qualification ("what do you have going for you other than your looks?? Beauty is very common")

So you go up too a girl, say hi, implement all of them techniques. Now she should be attracted to you and you get her number or take her home etc

But lots of people tried this and decided the techniques didn't work for them and there's always been lots of controversy abot whether any of it actually works as opposed to being marketing by salesmen.

So them 'game' moved on to something different - less about techniques and more about 'inner game'. Harder to describe, but i'd almost say a large part of it is simply have a complete lack of anxiety when talking too a pretty girl and just being your most authentic self.

In a similar thread last month I tihnk the most upvoted post was that 'game is essentially just flirting. You say hi, your flirt, and if there's attraction there the interaction can go somewhere. But the big elephant in the room with that idea is that I'm not sure how accurate it is that flirting creates attraction. (e.g if it was someone she found repulsive for whatever reason who was doing the flirting)

It's all a bit of a messy topic nowadays. I think the community has reverted to just going out, saying hi, sensing whether there is interest there or not, and then taking the next logical step (Escalating or walking away)

DueAssistance1516 · 2026-07-19T18:26:52+00:00

it’s a skill like riding a bike or baseball or basketball, learning is mostly through trial and error and not in a book.

like baseball, play in the little and minor leagues before the majors

allthatentrails · 2026-07-19T20:17:37+00:00

it's just basic social kills, really. I read lots of the pickup books and realised it was all so obvious ("if she tells you something try to relate too it" etc). I think 'game' is basically something that everyone already has, but some people maybe grew up extremely socially stunted, so they need to 'learn game' to get them up to the same level as everyone else kind of thing

confused_8357 · 2026-07-19T14:21:07+00:00

Read Models by Mark Manson

Matter_Still · 2026-07-19T18:06:02+00:00

You can begin by questioning if you really need it.

Consider an analogy: if some guy claimed to be healthy, you absolutely needed to supplement with 3,000 mgs of vitamin c daily, 2,500 milligrams of vitamin D3, 2 grams of calcium, 500 milligrams of magnesium, 2 grams of omega fatty acids, 15 mgs of zinc, three mcgs of B12, 35 mcg of chromium, eating six ounces of seaweed, 16 mg of niacin, and 55 mcg of selenium, BUT you knew numerous guys who didn’t take even one of those supplements but were robustly healthy, what would you conclude?

The presence of those supplements may not be the reason for the health of the people who follow that protocol and the absence of following it may not be the reason for the poor health of others.

Maybe it’s genetic, or their sleep, how much water they drink, or their daily practice of meditation.

That’s the way it is with “game”. It is clearly not essential to meeting women who possess any level of beauty as proven by the many testimonials of guys who met very attractive women without having a clue about what to say, what a “neg” was, how to flirt, or any of “the rules of game” no matter whose rules you followed.

This is because the woman is the final arbiter of who she finds attractive and no gimmickry or trickery is going to make her desire a 5’5” ginger if she’s only attracted to tall, dark Antonio-Banderas types, and if she does make an exception, it’s because the guy displayed some quality she found attractive that overrides his physical liabilities.

I knew a girl who was not attracted at all to a short, weird-looking guy until she found out he was a “Lightweight” boxer in Puerto Rico. No shit. She went from completely indifferent to sleeping with him in a week. Based on her initial response to the guy, I would have said, “No shot.” It wasn’t as if he was Roberto Duran, not even close. In fact, he was a career punching bag whose record was 4-44, and yet as soon as she heard that he was a boxer, it was as if he drugged her. No one, not even her friends, saw that coming. They were completely baffled, as were her parents, who told me they had never seen her so “head-over-heels” for a guy. (How could I know she had watched “The Fighter” at least twenty times?)

In my own case, a very attractive girl (in my opinion) wasn’t all that into me until she found out I was from New York City. (She lived in Fairborn, Ohio, and apparently had an over-the-top romanticized image of New York City and guys from New York. I suddenly became Frank Serpico. How weird is that?)

It’s a fact: There are girls who will not date black guys, and those who will only date black guys, or white guys.

And, of course, that’s because we all have a base line of what attracts us. For some of us, it’s “soft”, but for others, it’s very rigid, and if you’re on the wrong side of it, you have no shot.

Game will not make a woman attracted to an Asian man if she only finds Hispanic guys desirable—unless he has some quality—a sense of humor, intelligence, eloquence, etc., that earns him a pass.

So, the question is, “Do you need game?” Quite likely no more than eating seaweed to be able to compete in a decathlon or play for the Dallas Cowboys.

Prudent_Impact7692 · 2026-07-19T20:40:23+00:00

There is no game besides normal social behavior. Ask yourself do you have autism, are you schizophrenic? Or do you have social anxiety or do you feel very stressed? This and other stuff like that have to be fixed besides that there is no game

Key-Proud · 2026-07-19T14:27:16+00:00

To behave like the rich, powerful, beautiful, people of status ... behaves. This is called perceived high status. - most of these people who have high status are outcome dependent. Meaning they dont care about getting the sex or relationship because they have that at home already waiting for them ... so instead they focus on the present moment on what they can do to feel good now.... hence the richer gets richer. - that is 70% of game ... the inner game part. - so u dont have to have does things... u just have to behave like how those people behaves. - edit: to fill up to reaching 70% is to get ample reference experience that behaving this way works ... proof to ur brain ... until it becomes an internal behavior. - this gets the girls attracted to you to be comfortable with the 30% seduction techniques to escalate to your goals.

For example people who suck at game (mostly beginners) are outcome dependent... scarcity mindset. - the way these people behave is that they tend to talk fast with wavering eye contact and tonality that rises. ... so they r perceived as nervous.

The opposite of scarcity mind set is abundance mindset (outcome independent) - so these people tend to speak slower, clearly, comfy with silence, have relaxed eye contact and tonality that drops. - so now they are perceived as high status. - now there are more behaviors that high status people have ... but the main point is they are able to be present in the moment (outcome independent) and able to boost their mood from within (provide value with good energy)

Seduction ...

Nervous-Arrogance · 2026-07-19T21:13:45+00:00

It’s whatever a guy does to get a woman to like him, feel safe around him and lead her to a bed (or alleyway).

If you do something repeatedly and it leads to results with women, then that is your “game”.

However there are loads of systems out there that may or may not work for you.

There are too many to mention but basically it comes down to outer game vs inner game.

What I will say is if it just “something” you do around women (yes Mystery Method… you), then it is just a performance.

All that said, this sub has a few characters who seem very obsessed with push pull .

Also everyone will have their own views, based on their own experiences. So it’s best to learn to decide things for yourself and be confident in yourself rather than letting other people make up your mind for you.

Orleanist · 2026-07-20T05:30:45+00:00

experience. rejection therapy is by far the most effective. it sucks but when you stop getting scared in big moments the shots are a lot easier to make yfm. embarass yourself, nobody cares.

ControlGood8979 · 2026-07-20T06:50:32+00:00

Look at the history in this sub FFS it has been explained 1000s of times.

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2026-07-20T16:38:35+00:00

It's about practice and (everyone is different) it's about finding what works for you.

YOu can read every book, see every guy who gets laid and what they use, but you wont ever be good if you just try to copy/paste or dont find what works for you.

Best way to find that is to just go out and get comfortable talking to strangers and making conversations.

For me i was talking to men the same way i was talking to women (difference is i dont want to fuck men and had no interest in getting their number). So i stated by going to networking events, dating event,s etc. THings catered to people to meet. ANd i approiached everyone. I got a group of guys and made a small guy group at aevery event. Then as my social muscle felt charged id start talking to women and trying to basically take the same appraioch as i did with men. I dont care if i get their number, im just being me. Hype them up, complement an outfit choice, etc. Find common ground, enjoy the conversationa dn if it went well get their number. I did that with both men and women.

Now why does it matter with men? Becuase women like a guy who seems to enter a room and knows people. I was never a social guy and i remember one woman i ended up dating, i met her at an event that i frequented. I go in and immediately say hi to everyone i knew, talk to other people. It was to the point some people thought i was a host at that place and would come up to me and ask me questions. Because i was just super helpful and social. And then i talked to her and afterwards she told me that she just loved how i was just tlaking to people, never clung to anyone, etc. If your the guy that follows your male friends, women get that vibe and will follow the leader.

One of my friends in college, he was the leader of our group. And one thing i never understood was how he got girls. Sure he was tall, had a decent body (skinny), good sense of humor, but he wasnt amazing with owmen or anything. But looking back, we were all his little followers. What he said usually what the group went with. ANd shit like that is noticeable. No girl wants to fuck the lackey, they wanna fuck the boss.

Now when i started to translate that to women, something i saw was i was too worried in them liking me to be my genuine self, to say a joke that they may take the wrong way, to tease, etc. Then when i started doing it, something i realzied was, women can take a joke better than most men. Just take interest in what they are saying, find common ground and shoot the shit with them once you are in.

lovelearningloner · 2026-07-19T15:28:14+00:00

Game is for lames that no inner flame. Invest in yourself and enjoy life. Do not seek pleasures and free yourself from desire for your entire life.

Everything will come naturally when you stop seeking it.

sadist_breeder · 2026-07-19T14:33:16+00:00

!remind me in 24 hours

Title	Please explain to me what is actually game and how should I study it?
Author	Best_Marzipan_7774
Upvotes	34
Comments	81
Date	July 19, 2026 2:16 PM UTC (3 days ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1v0rqiq/please_explain_to_me_what_is_actually_game_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/please-explain-to-me-what-is-actually-game-and-how.1585401 https://theredarchive.com/post/1585401

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