317,196 posts

Refusing the "Gift"

760 upvotes
by null on /r/TheRedPill
14 August 2014 06:19 PM UTC
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One of the more common shit-tests my wife gives me is, “Say something nice about me.”

This usually happens when we have been around each other for a while but nothing of significance has been said. I will have come home from work, we’ve eaten dinner, shared our daily war stories, put the kid to bed and be in the middle of a movie. Suddenly, she gets in my line of vision and demands compliments when my brain is practically inert.

For years, my reaction to this type of thing was to give her what she was asking for. My efforts would be unsatisfactory because the compliments always sounded forced - which of course they were. My resentment of this built over time, and eventually I had a script ready-at-hand for responding to the question. It was a resigned, here-we-go-again routine where I sounded like I was in a call center. A few times I tried confronting the situation head-on, telling her she couldn’t just push a button to have me dispense heartfelt compliments at a moment’s notice. Logical and accurate? You bet. Did it work? Nope.

It was only after TRP that I considered refusing to engage in her demand at all.

Nowadays, this scenario rarely comes up. When it does, as it did yesterday, I sarcastically reply: “Something nice about me.”

Not the response she wants! She gets a sour look. I give her a shit-eating grin. Then I grab her face and kiss her in a way that says ‘you are so silly, but I love you anyway.’ She resists – how dare I not take this seriously! A playful struggle ensues. She doesn’t resist the second kiss. Then she’s off and away, acting like she’s pissed but unable to contain her smile.

For years, I tried to accept and process her emotional insecurities, make them my own, and try to address them. That’s the playbook we were given. And yet, only when I started disregarding these scenarios as the childish games they are did we become happy with the results.

There is a fairly well known internet tale about Buddha refusing to accept a man’s “gift” of anger. The tl;dr of it is that Buddha refutes an angry man’s frame, displaying his own emotional independence. This parable applies not just to anger but to a wider range of human interaction.

In our daily lives we are surrounded by people who try to manipulate us by activating our anxiety. The kid that throws a tantrum, the car salesman that sits the customer in the ‘negotiation’ room, the wife pestering her husband for compliments - they are all attempting to influence behavior through emotional discomfort. I don’t want to hear the kid cry. I don’t want to sit in the tiny room. I don’t want her to be upset with me.

In TRP parlance, a shit-test is emotionally manipulative behavior, and we are shit-tested constantly - not only by the romantically interesting women in our lives, but by almost everyone we meet. Most people don’t realize what they are doing; they are simply using learned behavior that has often yielded results. So why is this learned behavior so effective?

As Chuck Palahniuk put it, we are a generation of men raised by women, and as Dr. Glover points out in No More Mr. Nice Guy, many of us (and I would argue a majority of us) grew up in a situation where we were abandoned or abused. Developed in childhood, our coping strategies tend to be about appeasing others to the detriment of our self-interest. The indoctrination continues as we grow into adults. Our educational system compels us to artificially enforce self-esteem and confidence in others, regardless of merit. Our media deludes us with the chivalry-is-rewarded, true-love-conquers-all, happily-ever-after myth. Our legal system and corporate policies place our lives and our livelihoods in the hands of those who may punish us simply for upsetting their sensibilities. Failure to make one’s life partner adequately happy will result in the loss of the life you worked so hard to build.

In short, we are being taught cradle to grave to take ownership of the anxieties of others because that will give us validation and preserve us from harm. The corollary is that if there is a lack of validation or harm befalls us, it is because we did not adequately address those anxieties.

Dealing with this shit crushes a man’s spirit, so he will spend a lot of time trying to predict how his own behavior might generate anxiety in others so that he may avoid, deflect or manage it. He pushes his own needs to the back while he attends to others, and isolates himself to reduce the sickening workload.

This is the primary ingredient of the Blue Pill.

Therefore, I propose that the axiom of the Red Pill is to refuse the “gift” of negative emotion from others, expressed or implied. The guy who tells you your shirt looks stupid. The girl who asks you to buy her a drink. A clingy mother. A verbally abusive father. All trying to move you via negative emotion. All different, yet all the same.

It’s not about fighting back – it’s about refusing to engage at all.

Easier said than done, of course. I am certainly nowhere near perfecting my Inner Julie Andrews. But the first step is awareness. Here is how I started down this path:

The first sign you are being given a “gift” is when your interaction with someone is making you feel compelled to do something you don’t want to. When you find yourself in that situation, take a moment and ask yourself, “Is this what I want to do/say?” If not, refuse to comply. Just say no. It is almost certain that other person will increase the pressure. How dare you not do that thing!

It is there, right at that moment, when you feel that increased sense of guilt, the need to appease and not rock the boat and make that person happy, that you are feeling the withdrawal symptoms of the Blue Pill. Note it. File it. Embrace it. Make it your companion. Then double down on your refusal to do something contrary to your own desires and self-interest.

People around you may not like it. Some of the more demanding people in my life have become extremely put out by my new lack of compliance. "What happened to Brandor77?" they ask. The worst offenders - siblings who believe 'blood' is a valid reason for me to repeatedly provide them money and shelter after their bad decisions leave them destitute - now won't talk to me, angry at the audacity that I should refuse them. They lay on the guilt and talk poorly about me to others.

I am working hard to refuse the "gifts" that are offered to me every single day. If people go away because I don't take their gifts? Good riddance. Because you know who is happier for the change? I am. And that's refreshing.

Good luck, brothers.

EDIT: Wow, thanks for all the encouraging remarks, folks. And thank you for the "Gift" of gold, kind sir! Also, cleaned up some grammar.



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Comments

73 upvotesKdawg10335 years ago

Outstanding post. Great point and even better examples for practical application. Look forward to more posts from you.

18 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

Thanks, I appreciate the compliment!

1 upvotesThorIbanez5 years ago

HEY man this was awesome. a fella in my new office was trying to give a massive gift to everyone today, and I felt compelled to engage him. I didn't cause I'm new and don't want to start anything up. But now I'm armed with a better tactic for tomorrow. Thank you.

11 upvotesNew_Horiz0ns5 years ago

I don't think that's what he meant.

OP is talking about not letting your frame get pulled into theirs by being reactionary.

What you did is to allow shitty behavior/ignore it. Call out shitty behavior when it affects you.

48 upvotesnosesandsight5 years ago

You all missing the point of this mans essay. It ain't about women, or fuckability, or any of that high school shit; it's about passively accepting other people interpretation of reality. All through our lives people measure our worth through incremental compliance tests. Not just women, but your boss, your friends, your family, they all want you to surrender your frame and identity and give in to their demands.

For men, these acts of surrender are a slow silent death. Your inherent self valuation comes from your capacity to resist these acts of 'micro-aggression'. But we have been trained to be compliant by a culture that abhors everything masculine. It's about learning to say NO within ourselves first and foremost.

15 upvotesMarriedRP5 years ago

Be willing to walk away. I can't believe how empowering this is. Be willing to walk away from anything, or you are a slave to it. Do not be a slave.

I'm still swallowing the pill, but as I realize the times in my life that were best, it was when I was willing to walk. Sometimes I did. Sometimes I landed on my feet running, sometimes I landed in a pothole of shit. But dammit, I'm still here fighting. And it feels great.

-10 upvotesNikolaTeslaMGTOW5 years ago

I agree so fucking much. Holy shit do I agree.

My uncle took me out to lunch and since I am doing KETO and I only eat steak and eggs and say "bread is for slaves" or about anything trash (most of US diet). Btw Redpill guys check out Keto diet its great, Bulletproof specifically. And he took me to a place that didn't have anything KETO on the menu and I was PISSED. I usually only eat steak, salmon, or sushi but the menu didn't have shit. I was so mad. He picked the place cuz it worked for him. He usually tries to pay for shit too and kinda made beta comments about not wanting to pay for steaks but IDGAF, if I am going to eat out I am only eating healthy food. Like if you invite me out, you are paying, and you would pay for vegetarian morons to eat, so why not my diet which is actually healthy.

So I got a $12 burger with like $8 in topping so it was $20 for something that should cost $5 and I was telling him I was mad b/c I basically he isn't respecting my health choices. He tried to get mad back and say "you are being rude" and I told him I don't give a fuck. I'm not getting what I want already, if you think I'm being rude because I care about my health (and theirs since they are on meds for carb related health problems) and yours I don't care. I am going to eat healthy food whether you like it or not. So he tried to threaten me "oh we aren't gonna eat out anymore if you are rude". So I told I don't give a shit b/c I won't eat this trash (burger came with tons of fries and bread which I refused to eat but took some willpower). I want a cow. You are selling me a goat. You can't threaten me by withholding goats. I don't want the goat. And this is related to a problem he is having with business people (he doesn't get business at all) so he got even more mad.

I probably won't get free dinners anymore but fuck it I have lost 33lbs so far on this diet and I didn't back down. I felt so fucking sick b/c I thought he was somewhat rational and cared about honesty but instead he threw "be polite" in my face and "be grateful". I just told him I don't lie about anything and I can't be grateful for things I don't want.

I could have handled it better but this was a repeating pattern. He basically makes excuses for fixing his health along with my mom. Most people won't do shit to change even for their own benefit, so thinking they care about my health is so beyond their ability that they are concerned about "being rude". I also gave him analogies would it be polite to smoke cigarettes someone gave you? And how he had to eat lasanga b/c he wouldn't say no to the person who gave it to him, and he didn't take it and get rid off it, he actually ate it to his own detriment. Like polite comes before their own health.

I'm polite to idiots, I know about social stuff, but I thought they were better than that.

So don't try to help people, you only get fucked. Too many blue pillers and women with white knights out there get offended by truth. Let em fucking die of diseases then, fuck em, and fuck their threats and trying to get you to be just like them.

7 upvotesMarriedRP5 years ago

Hey dude, it sounds like you are super angry at your uncle because he hasn't jumped on the same bandwagon you are on. You need to work on not being so in your face, especially with family. Just politely decline the next lunch invite, unless you pick the place (and pay).

Talk, don't brag, about your success. Never say anything that starts with something like "you need to.." Just don't. You can't tell people what to do, you can only show them. If they wise up, great. If not, you can not worry about other's decisions. Support and guide them if they come to your help, offer suggestions to improve. Don't preach.

Minimize contact with your uncle if he is trying to bring you down. Be polite, firm, direct, non-argumentative, and polite. He's family, he deserves even more than just a common courtesy, but nobody says you have to spend time with people who try to hold you back from your goals.

0 upvotesNikolaTeslaMGTOW5 years ago

I agree with most of what you said, but all relationships are voluntary to me including family. I thought he was somewhat rational and intelligent and that he would understand, boy was I wrong. This was a repeat problem too, its wasn't just once, its basically they don't give a fuck about my or their health, or they are idiots/harmful to my/their health. I believe family should be held to even higher standards than other relationships, and if they don't even care to respect my diet choices with obvious visible proof of it working, then fuck them.

Basically crabs in a bucket, they don't want you to escape so they pull anyone back in who is trying to get out so you all die together. Cuz they will feel bad if they are unhealthy b/c of shit choices and if you escape their justifications become weak in their own mind so instead of improving themselves they attack you, its like fat acceptance basically.

I try to never tell anyone anything anymore. I really did learn that lesson, but I thought I could get my whole family to work with me since we all have similar genetics and therefore health problems. I misjudged my uncle as capable of this so its my mistake. I won't bother telling anyone anything anymore, seriously, almost every time it backfires, whether its diet, lifting, TRP, career, etc no one ever fucking listens and just trys to kill the messenger. I have this innate desire to help people around me and it is very strong and extremely hard to control, but everyone is too proud or stupid or lazy to change. I just need to find people worthy of it and stop wasting time on morons.

And keto isn't a bandwagon its science and I don't care if he jumps on it, I only care if my choices are respected or not. It would be like bringing alcohol to an alcoholic who has not drank for a few months even though you keep asking them to stop bringing you alcohol. Every time you try to improve yourself there are 50 assholes trying to stop you and sabotage.

34 upvotesa_nus5 years ago

In our daily lives we are surrounded by people who try to manipulate us by activating our anxiety.

It’s not about fighting back – it’s about refusing to engage at all.

I have a male friend who's an active supporter of feminism. Needless to say he's BP as fuck (low confidence, unemployed, college dropout, never had a girl in his life, etc.) Every time I say something "sexist" he would start a huge argument. It usually started as a civil debate, to which I followed along. But slowly he would escalate to the point of resorting to pure ad hominem and not even making logical sense anymore. I used to always get sucked into his angry frame, and we'd argue sometimes for hours.

After I became more introspective, it became clear he was never interested in debating or listening to each other's points, but was only interested in having an emotional battle. By letting myself get angry, he was "winning" every time. He was effectively in control of my emotions.

Once I truly understood what was going on, it was really fucking easy to shut him down. Next time he tried to argue using pure emotion, I didn't react. He called me a pussy and a dumbass, followed by a waterfall of insults in an attempt to rile me up. The only thing I said was "Just letting you know I'm not mad at you, but you're not providing anything of value to the discussion" and left.

His BP hamster went wild, and I received insult after insult for days through texts and FB messages (damn, now that I'm typing this I realize how much his behavior resembles that of crazy women). All ignored. He eventually apologized, and told me he was wrong in his way of approaching our differences. I honestly never got angry at him. I just realized I didn't have the time and energy to get angry simply because someone else was angry at me. It doesn't mean you necessarily have to hold back your thoughts. As the short story OP posted shows, Buddha spoke his thoughts in a rational manner without getting sucked into the other person's frame.

Most people, not only women, rely purely on emotions during an argument. Logic and facts don't matter. If they're angry, they need you to be angry too. If they're worried, you better be worried as well. It's their way of gaining control over you. Understanding this has helped me tremendously when dealing with people and given me much more control over my emotions.

146 upvotesAlphaXpipubs5 years ago

“Something nice about me.”

My standard line for anything along these lines...

"On a scale of 1 to 10 you are... fuckable."

and just watch as she tries to figure out if that is a compliment of not...

90 upvotesPlanB_pedofile5 years ago

"Say something nice about me"

I like how your tits jiggle when I'm pounding you doggy style.

"Say something nice about me"

Your ass is fun to slap

"Say something nice about me"

You're better at reverse cowgirl than my other ex girlfriends

If she wants somebody to "Say something nice about me" she can post it to Facebook and fish for her 100 compliments.

24 upvotesredpillbanana5 years ago

It reminds me of this old "Sexy Losers" comic (warning - the whole site is seriously NSFW): http://sexylosers.com/017.html

"Oh, Hiroshi, talk dirty to me!"

"Oh, Yuki...I luh luh...I luh luh love...."

"You...love me?"

"No, I love fucking you."

-19 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

[permanently deleted]

14 upvotesmyrptaway5 years ago

so this is what you do? all four of your comments are trying to shame the person commenting and implying the guy as a virgin loser.

edit: word

1 upvotesredpillrunner5 years ago

I guess its the only time I feel compelled to post

8 upvotesWake_and_Poi5 years ago

This is clearly a troll account, one week old, nothing but shaming.

1 upvotesMachiavellianRed5 years ago

Banned 'em.

-23 upvoteskarzbobeans5 years ago

"Say something nice about me"

(wrap your arms and legs around her and squeeze)

"YOU'RE FUZZY!!!" :)

7 upvoteskick65 years ago

And that, my friends, is a textbook neg. Solid work, maestro.

-6 upvotesDirtyNamesGetBlocked5 years ago

"Say something nice about me"

Something nice about me

9 upvotesNikolaTeslaMGTOW5 years ago

"A lot of women want to fuck your boyfriend"

12 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

Excellent. I am a newcomer to TRP but this post sums up where TRP blasts a man off to...or at least can blast a man off too if they get it.

Getting sex is awesome. Getting happiness, satisfaction, and control over your life is even better. I hope everyone reads this post.

11 upvotessheds825 years ago

Awesome post.

This shit of always having to make others needs fulfilled first is crap. I would say do your thing unless it harms others, that's a more witty way of going.

1 upvotesBuinovsky5 years ago

Well put.

Too many will use this mindset as an excuse to be a dick/lazy.

Be yourself as much as you can be without being detrimental to others.

Here's looking at you unemployed go-nowhere societal leeches.

54 upvotesBluepillProfessor5 years ago

Athol Kay wrote an entire book on this topic. "Do These Pants Make My Ass Look Fat?"

Proper Response: "Ass, of course I would like some ass." Then kiss her forcefully despite her weakening struggles.

Proper response to say something nice about me? Doesn't matter- just make it sexual and borderline rude so that it objectifies your wife. By all means have a script ready to go.

"Your wet little pussy grips my dick just the way I like it."

"I think it's real nice when you try so hard you choke on my cock."

"Your boobs."

"Your nipples."

"The way you sound when you do that 'oooh' thing."

You get the idea....

7 upvotesThePantsThief5 years ago

Is there any benefit to this method than handling the situation the way OP described?

10 upvotesthrowaway1310725 years ago

That's what it is. She's trying to make you feel bad so you "say something nice" even though it could never possibly be genuine, so be fucking genuine, like the guy above.

10 upvotessir_wankalot_here5 years ago

Exactly, avoid answered the question directly or you are fucked.

Why women make better lawyers then men. They seem to naturally be able to ask trick questions where not matter how you answer you are fucked.

1 upvotesSidechainZ5 years ago

New to this sub but not new to pua material. What about early on with someone? Won't enough of these offend her enough to end things?

27 upvotesBluepillProfessor5 years ago

Enough of being a cocky asshole will definitely get old and many relationships end in 6-12 months after TRP (according to Athol Kay) because guys don't balance the Alpha with enough Beta, lovey dovey stuff.

Early on in the encounter with a woman is the best time to use cocky/arrogant game. Women are absolutely starved for confident, dominant men in this Bluepill society.

However, this is a specific Shit Test and she is practically begging you to assert dominance and put her in her place without hurting her feelings. She is testing to make sure you "get it."

If she gets all butt-hurt over sexualizing al the time it may be time to back off and just STFU. All you have to do is take her in your arms and hold her tightly, laugh in her face while she struggles, and then whisper something sweet in her ear. Comfort test passed.

-7 upvotesSidechainZ5 years ago

I like you. Have an upvote.

-7 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

I don't like the grabby aspect of this. The whole "grab her until she stops struggling" isn't something that you just pull out of the bag of tricks every time she gets a bit annoying.

Physical force is really dangerous in terms of driving a woman away. Sure, if she's hysterical it can help to step in there and hold her. But the sudden grabby thing in normal situations? No, I'd say avoid.

15 upvotesNew_Horiz0ns5 years ago

This is in a playful context. No need to get wound up.

4 upvotescascadecombo5 years ago

don't concern troll broski

1 upvotesIDefyAxioms5 years ago

There's definitely a certain level of fear to be had with physical engagement like that. We're inundated every day with stories of rape charges, allegations of physical/sexual abuse, etc. that it can make a man uneasy about physically engaging with women at all.

It's one of those things where you just have to read the situation and decide how to react. Try not physically grabbing and see how it plays out, redirect it into another way, etc. You'll either find something that works for you, or you'll realize that you do have to take that step.

0 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

I don't know how literally people take the advice here. I can imagine some poor young guy thinking "NO redpill told me I HAVE TO HOLD HER UNTIL SHE STOPS STRUGGLING IMAMANIMAMANIMAMAN!!!!!"

That's a disaster waiting to happen.

30 upvotessemondemon245 years ago

I really liked this post. Thanks for taking the time to write it. Edit: I cant tell you how many times my mom has given me a "gift"... I have always felt bad not accepting it. It is the same exact feeling my GF puts on me now too. What I am learning and what you have confirmed: A) dont use logic B) Dont do what they want C) blow them off in a joking/fun manner til they fuck off.

The latest one I had:

GF: babe...do you want me? Am I the only girl in the world you want?

me: babe, you are the only girl I want...to fuck in the ass in the whole wide room right now

16 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

It's hard when you've been programmed to believe that this is the way to be happy. My greatest regret is not learning this stuff earlier - but there is no better time than the present to change the course.

19 upvotesiamambience5 years ago

I came her(e)* yesterday and I feel like my world is crumbling down around me. In a very refreshing way.

-1 upvotesGigem_longhorns5 years ago

I too came her. Very niiice.

11 upvotesKakistokratic5 years ago

I go on redpill every day and get rid of a little bit more of that nasty social programming. We could bitch about how we should have been told from the start, but that's not really our style is it? :P Again. Thanks for a great post.

10 upvotesSneakyTouchy5 years ago

I was able to shut this down quick with one of my exes.

"Say something nice about me :D"

"You first :/"

"Ok you're smart and intelligent and handsome" -Thinks I'm satisfied with that..

"OK you're pretty and smart and nice" -She realized how boring that was and how hard it was to do herself. Never did it again.

I eventually left her due to unrelated alcohol abuse issues.

3 upvoteswhatnowtrp5 years ago

well that escalated quickly

23 upvoteslord-denning5 years ago

The feminist harpies that complain about this subreddit should come read posts like these. TRP is about nothing less than men ripping off the blinders that were forced onto from a young age. If enough men start thinking like OP then women might not be able to engage in divorce rape, or ride the cock carousel in their 20s before deciding to "adopt" a provider beta husband they despise, or freely engage in their solipsistic thinking patterns, or have their hands out for free stuff from the govenment...and starting now they won't be able to do any of that shit with those of us that have read the above AND gotten comfortable saying no. Just takes practice gents.

-8 upvotesCrackpotPatriot5 years ago

Feminist harpy, here; this was a great post by OP!

14 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

[permanently deleted]

7 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

http://www.nomoremrniceguy.com/

7 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

"The 'Gift'"=AIDS/HIV in the LGBT community. I was thoroughly confused by the title before I read the post. I would hope you refused AIDS/HIV.

6 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

Well, shit. :) I suppose "package" would be even worse, tho...

14 upvotesfasterpussycatdie5 years ago

Holy shit I want to kick somebody's ass after reading this. Great read, upvoted.

32 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

Holy shit I want to kick somebody's ass after reading this.

Agreed. But as with a lot of TRP posts, mostly my own 10 years ago

6 upvotesDousing_Machine5 years ago

If I had a time machine the only thing I would do is visit myself freshman year of highschool to beat my own ass. And give myself the score of the 07-08 Superbowl, for financial reasons

6 upvotesIsThisNameValid5 years ago

All you really need is Gray's Sports Almanac

5 upvotesDousing_Machine5 years ago

That one Superbowl would be more than enough. First one after I turned 18 plus it's the one where the Giants beat the undefeated Patriots

2 upvotesMikay555 years ago

Nah man, do the previous super bowl, predict first score is a safety, boom.

4 upvotesPolegarVermelho5 years ago

Thanks, OP! This is one of the best posts I've ever read on this sub.

You'll have to accept my gift!

4 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

In TRP parlance, a shit-test is emotionally manipulative behavior, and we are shit-tested constantly - not only by the romantically interesting women in our lives, but by almost everyone we meet. Most people don’t realize what they are doing; they are simply using learned behavior that has often yielded results. So why is this learned behavior so effective?

This is something that I've been thinking for quite a while. I see people ShitTest-ing everywhere in Business, employees to bosses, customers (have you ever worked in retail?), and it is a problem, a big problem. And this is regardless of the sexes, I remember working on a company where all the 4 Directors reporting to the CEO were male and looking in retrospect it was ShitTesting galore, with enough backstabbing here and there for good measure.

The True Red Pill philosophy goes above and beyond picking up women, it's about living a life truest to our own desires, I wish someone would put compile and put together examples and strategies on how to recognize, manage, and counteract ShitTesting in business. I for one would gladly buy the book.

2 upvoteslonestandingone5 years ago

Nice observations about the shit tests. I catch myself shitesting people constantly, and I hate it. Maybe you could write the book, because you seem to have a good insight into it. At least an article to put to sale on Amazon kindle. :)

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

This is what I've found as well. TRP builds character which will extend into all aspects of life.

3 upvotesthibit5 years ago

I've found this to be pretty spot on with holding frame throughout workplace drama by accident.

3 upvotesJohnGalt3165 years ago

the best compliment you can give a woman is to tell her "you're my girl"

3 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

I was thinking about this yesterday, I use frame against men and women, not to exert power over them but to save myself from what boils down to their covert need for affection which is now either by words or tone, an attack on me. This covert method of asking for affection and validation might be the greatest flaw of humanity, and is certainly not something I claim to be free of. Most of the time I don't want people dragging me down with shit they'll forget about in a couple days or a year. I wish I could look people in the eye and tell them, "Is this really as important as you're making it out to be? We're all going to die someday."

3 upvotesCitizenKeane5 years ago

I REALLY like this post. I feel it encapsulates the essence of what the red pill is without clouding it with sexual rhetoric and theory. If I had to explain to someone what the red pill is all about, I'd show them this post. Great job

3 upvotesbreeezzz5 years ago

It's posts like these that keep me coming back to TRP. Well done.

3 upvotescherrypoptart275 years ago

10/10 post

It is there, right at that moment, when you feel that increased sense of guilt, the need to appease and not rock the boat and make that person happy, that you are feeling the withdrawal symptoms of the Blue Pill. Note it. File it. Embrace it. Make it your companion. Then double down on your refusal to do something contrary to your own desires and self-interest.

Love this paragraph. Very much in line with Ayn Rand's philosophy which I find to be more and more redpill by the day

2 upvotesPdr_vzlr5 years ago

Great post, I'll try to notice that withdrawal syndrome from the blue pill, whenever I feel it, I'll know I'm doing the right thing for ME

2 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

What a great post. Well written. Positive with a real answer to a real issue. You take responsibility for your life. You tell a very interesting story. You express your frustration from the past. You connect it to a nice spiritual (not religious) concept. Well played sir! Hope you post more.

2 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

“By doing this you are like a man who wants to hit another and picks up a burning ember or excrement in his hand and so first burns himself or makes himself stink.” Visuddhimagga IX, 23.

Ultimately, getting angry won't solve this problem. The only real solution is to not let people emotionally manipulate you. The only thing getting angry accomplishes is raising your cortisol levels. Which is not very healthy. People who try provoke emotional responses like this, though unintentionally, are not only robbing you of your time but your health.

2 upvotesJohannFriedl5 years ago

I like that analogy: If someone with shit in their hand tries to shake hands with you, refuse to engage, don't accept their handshake, and don't picked a handful of your own shit to try to match them on their terms. Refuse to comply and they will either clean themselves up and engage with you properly, or will leave you alone to try it on someone else. Either way you win.

2 upvoteshiphoprising5 years ago

"Say something nice about me"

"No"

2 upvoteshepatosplenomegaly5 years ago

There are a million things you can say.

"You don't sweat as much as most girls your size"

"That hair color is in style"

"You have big tits"

etc

-1 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

[permanently deleted]

3 upvotesMaximus_Sarcasmus5 years ago

Depending on the girl I think saying "romantic bullshit about your personality that I think you want to hear" would be pretty funny.

1 upvotesjakethesnake765 years ago

The first sign you are being given a “gift” is when your interaction with someone is making you feel compelled to do something you don’t want to. When you find yourself in that situation, take a moment and ask yourself, “Is this what I want to do/say?” If not, refuse to comply. Just say no. It is almost certain that other person will increase the pressure. How dare you not do that thing!

It is there, right at that moment, when you feel that increased sense of guilt, the need to appease and not rock the boat and make that person happy, that you are feeling the withdrawal symptoms of the Blue Pill. Note it. File it. Embrace it. Make it your companion. Then double down on your refusal to so something contrary to your own desires and self-interest.

i won't take gifts from many people because of the strings attached, manipulations...Until you kill the nice guy inside you can be free, most gifts come with manipulations attached...Great post thanks

1 upvotesslurmfactory5 years ago

Amazing write up. Seriously fantastically written. I need to work on this stuff big time; not letting others EVER affect my moods. So many people will blindside me with random aggressive nonsense and it always takes me by surprise because i am usually laid back... Great stuff. Id love to hear more. Ps the too comments are suspect.

1 upvoteslet_terror_reign5 years ago

This is the essence of holding frame. Brilliant post, well written. Never thought if it this way but fits in seamlessly

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

'Being an independent man' sound like the thesis of this agreeable post. I like it and I live this shit.

1 upvotesCrackpotPatriot5 years ago

My best friends calls this behavior 'symptoms of shit' -everybody has shit, and it's symptomatic; be careful to watch for symptoms of shit lest you find yourself mired in someone else's shit!

1 upvotessalil_7075 years ago

Thank you for writing this. I've always wondered why saying no was so difficult, yet so powerful.

1 upvotesMajorStyles5 years ago

Love it!

Your post also brings up what few men want to accept - that learning game continues on into their marriages. They believe that because they put a ring on her finger, that her biological predispositions have now been altered. Bullshit. A horse is a horse. A cow is a cow, and so on.

You have to have the courage and wisdom to tame her. Also, she must have the ability/potential to be tamed.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

Well that was the nuclear post. You just described the majority of my life. I've been changing it but this just helps be progress even more.

1 upvotesJohnny_Shades5 years ago

Wow... truly good stuff man. I look forward to seeing more posts out of you.

1 upvotesStarkAtheist5 years ago

BEST THING I'VE READ ON TRP.

EVER.

Thanks for summing up months of what I've read on here.

So much of TRP applies not only to romantic relationships with women, but also with family, friends, and co-workers as well.

Codependent No More, brother..... ROCK ON!!

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

This concept has given me a shitton of freedom. As a proper blue pill, I was allowing the emotions, actions, and feelings of others to dictate my own. Once I slowed down the process- damn- my happiness, energy, calm, etc skyrocketed. It is now my fault that those around me are _______, I can maintain frame and live a life of freedom. Lovely.

1 upvoteskitzdeathrow5 years ago

You basically just summed up my life motto: Eschew Negativity. Great post.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 5 years ago

One of the best posts I've seen on here in a while. Excellent distillation of a phenomenon that can be hard to articulate and that has plagued almost all men at some point in their life.

It's also one of the most understandable guides to frame control I've ever read.

I appreciate posts like this for far more than the sexual strategy some others in this thread are focusing on. Sexual strategy is great but TRP and frame control is about far more than getting your dick wet. It's nice to see an important topic discussed in a broader frame. Bravo.

1 upvotesThecuriouswin5 years ago

I think this is an important post, because it points to what imho are the most powerful moves in the "end-game" of red pill.

Although my journey started because of a my frustration to understand contemporary gender dynamics, the following red pill axioms have become a great "gift" to me, improving the overall quality of my life.

Which are:

  1. Your frame is your reality.
  2. If you work hard to own and mold your frame, you can dramatically redefine the way you experience life.
1 upvotesseattleron5 years ago

Very good point. It's basically the same thing little kids are told by their mother's about bullies: "ignore them and they'll leave you alone."

Sometimes bullies need punched in the mouth, though, but in your examples ignoring is absolutely the correct inaction.

1 upvotesfavours_of_the_moon5 years ago

"You suck a good dick, bitch."

0 upvotesSOwED5 years ago

"Say something nice about me."

"Your hair looks small."

0 upvotessweetjingle5 years ago

Amazing advice. I certainly need to add this to my daily life. Something I feel was forgotten was forgiving those who do shit over and over. I won't say we all know that guy because I don't know you people, but I know that guy, actually, guys. They are huge douches and assholes, and though you hate them, they will treat you nice later and joke around. Don't buy it. Next day, they are massive dick again. Treat then like the massive piece of shit they are. Way better than bullshit-bluepill "always forgive". By always forgiving, you get stomped on.

0 upvotesdemilitarizdsm5 years ago

Great post. I also get this shit test but never take it too seriously. I will now. I usually get it when already naked in bed (trapped) but its time to start ignoring it.

-11 upvoteslimem5 years ago

Shit, if the biggest problem you have in your relationship is her asking you for compliments, you need to suck it up and enjoy it.

-49 upvotesTRPer695 years ago

you're analyzing this a bit much. your wife is just a bitch

18 upvotessemondemon245 years ago

no, his wife is a fucking female. Have you ever had a LTR??





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