What is MRP success? Is the sole purpose of this place to get laid like a porn star? That is rule zero after all. If that is the end game of this sub, then I suppose I'm the biggest failure here for someone who has spent as much time as I have on this journey. Is that what this place is? A playbook for the journey of life as a real man? These questions have went through my mind too many times to count as I've traveled down this road. As I've made my trek, I've had some realizations that I'd like to share.
The Love for Lifting
Every man in his heart of heart wants to be the strongest man he can be. You show me a man who says otherwise and I'll show you a man who's full of shit. I have 4 friends who have all used this exact line on me. "I don't want to lift to get muscles. I lift for endurance". Do you know what they all have in common? They half ass the gym. They go for a while, off for a while, let the membership expire, get a new one, etc. The guys I know who lift for the love of lifting are regularly at the gym. Pushing, learning and growing.
When I first started this trip I lifted dumbells at home. My heaviest set were 120s. I had a very regimented routine. I pushed myself and limited out on what I could accomplish. End of the day, I was putting in too much and getting too little; I always knew this too. I wouldn't say it was wasted time, but it wasn't optimal in any way. After joining a gym and running my limits on the 5x5 stronglift program, I have found the true love of lifting.
Everyone's love for it is different. Some guys wanna pull 700, so they work towards that. I still do regular compounds, but I like the accessories just as much. The guy who is the biggest at my gym only touches a barbell to bench. I'm 5'8"/200lbs/15%BF. I fuckin love how I look. For me everytime I start a new lift, everytime someone gives me a tip/I give someone a tip or everytime I meet an interesting person at the gym, it's part of my journey.
Finances, Employment and Fulfillment
I'm losing my job in 8 months. If this was happening 3 year ago, I'd be stressed to the max. I'm not even worried a bit. Truthfully I'm excited. I have been smart with money since I found this place and I have a hefty severance coming my way as well.
I could go get another job in the industrial sector or go to school for a trade. Both would bring in decent change. I live a simple life, so money really isn't the issue. The thing is, I've never left work and said "Fuck I feel accomplished today. I really made a difference". I could have a week on a machine and get numbers that nobody else can, get a pat on the back and a gift card and still look at the clock wanting to go home while dreading the next day. I'm done making someone else rich.
Furthermore, I want to help people. I want to work with people and know that I made a difference in their day. If I make less money, but know that my efforts are going towards a greater good, I'm cool with that. If my wife isn't, well she can fuck off. My journey is going in this direction and this journey is about me.
Marriage Post MRP
When I first came to MRP, I wanted my wife to change. I wanted her to be the woman that I always thought she could be. Fuck me did I keep that covert contract running in the background for way too long too.
I had a vision of her fucking me like so many of the dudes on here claim to be receiving. I ran the steps of Dread and seen marginal success. Even then only when it hit a point of Hysterical Bonding. That kind of manipulation is taxing and not for me.
Shit, there is a chick who has became friends with us. Probably more so me, but my wife really likes her too. We ended up at a house party last month. She was all over me. Touching me at every opportunity she got. At one point, she was sitting beside me with her hand on my leg and biting her lip as she gave me the fuck me eyes while my wife stared in disgust. We were saying our goodbyes in the kitchen and she started arguing with me that I'm an asshole for not staying and letting my wife go home alone. As my wife is standing right there! If that's not Dread, I don't know what is.
The thing is, I don't want to fuck someone else. I always thought that I was gonna have cutie playing second fiddle, but when I became a man who could accomplish that, I stopped yearning for it. This summer I had a chick (100% dime too) literally taking her clothes off and trying to undo my belt. I full stopped it and left. I don't want other bitches. I want my wife. Maybe this is purple as fuck, but I really don't care.
We kiss all the time, hold hands in public, dance in the kitchen while we cook and listen to music, drink together while we talk about life, etc. When she is sad or stressed out, I fix it. Not by asking her what's wrong and doing things to make her happy, but by being an immovable stone that she can lean on in these times. We have a genuine love for one another (not soulmates or any of that unconditional BS) and that's all I want. MRP has given me the tools to navigate this love and see it for what it actually is and not what a beta thinks it should be.
Farewell Faggots
As time goes on, I come here less and less. I think the MRP portion of my journey in life is coming to a close (there is a tear in the corner of my eye as I type that). The stuff I've learned in this community has had an immeasurable impact on my life and will continue to do so for the rest of it. So this is Drty checking out. I won't delete as my journey could bring me back here someday, but I'm signing out and moving on.
As I stand in front of this mirror, I'm reminded of the person who used to stare back at me in despair. NEVER AGAIN
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