Dilemma of a career woman

Salty-Bastard · 2018-03-01T21:45:10+00:00

So her dilemma is choosing to work less so she can have great sex? Am I reading that right?

I thought by your headline it would be about choosing to put a career on hold in order to raise children, which is a very big decision.

TheChemist158 · 2018-03-01T21:44:04+00:00

This is what happens when traditional xSFx women try to compete in the self-actualizing career arena.

All of my friends are very successful career women who are happily married. None of this nonsense would ever even occur to them. But they are all xNTx types.

This would inevitably force career women to wear many masks; one to the boardroom, one to the bedroom, and one to the nurture a baby for example.

There is nothing "inevitable" about that. Perhaps other-directed women who think that they "should be" a certain type of woman at work, a different type of woman in the bedroom, and yet another type of woman in the kitchen might feel obligated to "wear masks," but I assure you that women exist who are perfectly comfortable behaving like themselves in all of these venues, and who see nothing incompatible or mutually exclusive about any of these things.

In spite of what the person on r/adultery says, these are not at all black-and-white choices, and I'd say that the fact that she perceives them as such contributes in large part to her misery.

desaixer · 2018-03-01T21:46:10+00:00

Lol

I know....fuck it. Why pursue education, careers, etc. I should have focused my time on my back, learning how to endlessly please a man. Try to land that rich old guy, and cash out, before turning 30.

and

Uuugh that is, honestly, sometimes what i feel. What's the point of working when you could've used your "prettiest" years, find an old rich guy, and then just spend your days lounging at home, doing Pinterest crafts? Honestly... It sounds pretty awesome. Because in the end, that man has to go to work and then deal with a boss. And at home? The woman is still the boss, because if the woman leaves, she gets half, so he wants to at least keep her happy to keep all his wealth under the same roof.

At least they're willing to admit the bullshit that we all know at this point.

concacanca · 2018-03-01T22:02:15+00:00

Is it such a stark choice for women? Can you be an authoritative woman while retaining your feminine beauty such that men "pull out all the stops to seduce?"

At least in my field I found that being successful garnished more respect and interest from higher quality men, not less. For an example an intelligent guy who loves math would prefer to date an intelligent woman who loves math. Being a semi attractive women in a male dominated field makes you a bit of a unicorn to them. I am not sure if this is true in other fields though.

Do the societal pressures on women to choose financial success over contentment/happiness make women less happier?

Maybe this becomes a problem when kids enter the picture, yes. I suppose that this is why a lot of women choose less demanding careers like being a pharmacist or teacher.

Q4All: Does the lack of pressure on male commitment to women ultimately make women less happier?

Yes, I think so, but women can create the pressure themselves by abstaining from casual sex. Porn is a bigger problem imo. There is nothing women can do about porn.

goatismycopilot · 2018-03-01T22:39:25+00:00

I don't relate to her experience because not every woman in the corporate world goes in to climb the ladder. Corporations often have good benefits, health care blah, blah, there are many good reasons to opt to work as a corporate drone if you are just a normal middling person who wants to work hard and make enough money but has no ambitions, or just modest ones.

This idea that you only get some woo hoo high six figure job on a woo hoo office or you are working in a an organic mitten sewing shop borrowing money off your parents so you can afford gluten free tampons is complete bullshit. There is a lot of middle ground where women can make whatever trade offs they can live with, honestly the author of Smoogy's misery laden corporate laydee person sound, somehow off, and I do not know why. Smoogy so desperately wants the laydee people to be unhappy especially if they do something corporate and it makes me go hmm furrow face, I don't know how I feel about that. Puzzled? I don't come from the class where nervous parents subsidize their daughters once they are adults, we got thrown off the dock. Normal women often struggle with life balance because at a certain point in adulthood with young kids and other factors it can get crunchy.

oceanicallyunbounded · 2018-03-02T03:37:19+00:00

I think the "dilemma" is kind of bullshit. I have a great career and a great partner. I haven't seen these tradeoffs in my own life.

Q4All: Is it such a stark choice for women?

Nope.

Can you be an authoritative woman while retaining your feminine beauty such that men "pull out all the stops to seduce?"

I don't care about being "seduced", I care about being in a good relationship. As a go-getter, I went and got, and I'm thrilled about it.

Q4All: Do the societal pressures on women to choose financial success over contentment/happiness make women less happier?

I like the choice where you have both financial success AND contentment/happiness, like a man does.

Q4All: Does the lack of pressure on male commitment to women ultimately make women less happier?

They've just gotta find the right guy. Plenty of guys are happy to commit if you're good enough.

sadomasochrist · 2018-03-01T22:06:24+00:00

I've also noticed a ton of bloops and ardent feminists here are passionately child-free which they see as a path for their personal contentment. It also would make sense because it makes their ideology more consistent with their actions.

Tons of women are child free until they're almost 30, then they come up on 35 and they have a change of heart, then at 40 they're shelling out huge money for all sorts of procedures.

Essentially 85% of women end up having a child at some point, and a portion of those who don't have medical issues, planned poorly for their maternal window or were so disordered and ugly that no one would even knock them up.

So you're talking about a pretty small portion of people that end up committing to this. And yes, a far left feminist type would be the type to do that.

But all I'm saying is let's say it's 5% given the other factors, statistically a large portion of these women will end up having children.

Just that they're going to have to settle obviously given the lower bargaining power. I'm not even pushing the wall narrative here, just that a woman at 19 can command a lot more from a mate to start a family with than she can at 29.

Edit : 23 is roughly optimal for a woman.

Mr_Smoogs · 2018-03-01T21:38:42+00:00

Q4All: Do the societal pressures on women to choose financial success over contentment/happiness make women less happier?

Financial success can make people happier. Don't think so? Try making do with out money.

Q4All: Does the lack of pressure on male commitment to women ultimately make women less happier?

Who cares. Men don't have to commit if they don't want it.

Mr_Smoogs · 2018-03-01T23:30:48+00:00

Q4All: Is it such a stark choice for women? Can you be an authoritative woman while retaining your feminine beauty such that men "pull out all the stops to seduce?"

i'm authorative at work because that's what gets the work done. it's not like i come home and carry on like that. recently hubby and i were both working from home on the same day and he heard me on a work call. he went all wide-eyed and what-the-fuuuuu on me. he'd never seen that part of me and couldn't make sense of the boss-bitch he was hearing. i don't feel like i'm acting or playing a role in either part of my life, different parts of my personality just come out depending on the context.

Women have to choose contentment/happiness, men have to choose commitment.

no, most men and women just work because they need to pay the bills. a few (mostly men) are passionate about their work, but they're the minority.

Q4All: Do the societal pressures on women to choose financial success over contentment/happiness make women less happier?

again, people work because they need to. there is new pressure on women to be "successful", but all the high-flying career women i know tend to ditch or seriously slow down the career once they're starting their family.

Q4All: Does the lack of pressure on male commitment to women ultimately make women less happier?

i'm not sure what this has to do with the rest of your post. i'm my circles most everybody is paired off and having kids. i don't see this huge mgtow exodus that everyone's on about.

concacanca · 2018-03-01T21:45:06+00:00

Q4All: Do the societal pressures on women to choose financial success over contentment/happiness make women less happier?

I see it as women having multiple paths to happiness. They can choose to find that happiness anywhere that they want. Unfortunately for the majority of women that is tinged with a bittersweet sense of what could have been. I've now lost count of the women I've spoken with who have picked family over career who claim on the one hand to never have wanted to trade a day of their lives with the family for a day of work but at the same time who claim that it is unfair that their careers haven't progressed as fast as a man or childless woman.

I know a handful of the career women who are deeply unhappy at not having found love or children in their lives. They tend to try and live that vicariously through their siblings if they are so inclined.

For men, the path to happiness is far more straightforward but somewhat harder to attain.

Q4All: Does the lack of pressure on male commitment to women ultimately make women less happier?

Yes. They did it to themselves though so....

blackedoutfast · 2018-03-01T23:16:24+00:00

This would inevitably force career women to wear many masks; one to the boardroom, one to the bedroom, and one to the nurture a baby for example.

no one forced women to try to wear all these masks. men knew all along that a woman's place is in the home. but you spent decades fighting tooth and nail for the "right" to have a stressful, time-consuming career just like a man.

KrispyMcSockington · 2018-03-02T04:53:17+00:00

Women realising that being a wage slave sucks and you can't have it all?

Welcome to the club. Until anyone figures out how to be in two places at once, you have to let go of one thing to have another.

Women being unwilling to do so isn't a tragedy nor is it a revelation when they have to make the sacrifice. There are plenty of men who would rather sleep in, play video games, do sport, watch TV, play with their kids or just do nothing rather than work. But they have to. Whether it's laid out for us or not isn't the point. It's still a choice, and the consequences of not making the 'right' choice bite us in the ass far harder than women.

An unemployed woman living at home is not a loser neckbeard living in mom's basement. Even if she gets married, she can choose to be at home or not without it causing any problems. If she becomes the sole breadwinner, he is out on his ass.

Those "stark choices" are not terrible either. It's not difficult not to be a slut or give your best years to the cock carousel. It's not impossible to find a man willing to commit. They make the mistake so many women do: target Chads, get pumped and dumped, rinse and repeat until 30 something then freak out because she realises what she has done. It's in that post:

I simply don't think the men that I have met will ever appreciate all that I gave, all that I tried to be for them.

This is the realisation that she wasted her time. It also sounds like when Nice Guys or beta orbiters complain about being overlooked, yet no woman cares about how he feels and the 'stark choices' he makes to be available to her.

The other problem is she assumes it's all men that are like this. The bulk of men are not player Chads who can get pussy from women on demand. She ignored some good men along the way because stability was boring while young, chased tingles (thought with her vagina and not with her head), and now regrets wasting her time. Sluts make it too easy for men to get sex without commitment.

Women always had the advantage and gave no fucks (scuse the pun) when men were trying to get laid. Today, their sexual liberation is a pain in the ass (scuse this one too) because they can't get attractive men to settle down. Most men aren't benefiting from this either but women still continue to blame men as if their legs opened on their own when Chad wandered by.

Vaginas are not magical man traps that can snag a man if you offer sex, especially to top tier men. The more commitment-free ass you offer, the more he will take. You and every other sexually available woman has thrown themselves at him, so what makes you and your vagina so special?

AstuteBlackMan · 2018-03-01T22:22:22+00:00

If it wasn’t so hard to find such a man, and didn’t mean that he could leave me penniless and an impoverished single mom, I would definitely devote my life to being a wife and mother.

Too bad men use that to overpower women and boss them around (more than leadership) and will leave you as soon as you hit 40 as a penniless single mom.

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Mehandesetova · 2018-03-02T03:09:03+00:00

Yeah, I see nothing contradictory about being a great mother, a great wife and having a great career.

It's tough but manageable if your husband is an adult.

Luckily I've married an adult

gasparddelanuit · 2018-03-02T06:57:28+00:00

Q4All: Is it such a stark choice for women? Can you be an authoritative woman while retaining your feminine beauty such that men "pull out all the stops to seduce?"

Life is about limited choices for everyone, so women are not unique in this regard. On balance, women have far more choices than men do when it comes to life/work balance.

Some femininity is lost the more authoritative a woman becomes, but if that conflicts with her romantic desires, that means that one of the two hats she is wearing is fake and that she spends a large portion of her time not genuinely being herself. The tension is between the need to appear invulnerable whilst being vulnerable and desiring an invested male protector or partner.

The fact that most men are drawn to vulnerability and not invulnerability in women, means that women who appear invulnerable will have less romantic success than women who display more vulnerability.

Such is life. We all have limited and tough choices to make, but I think that for a substantial portion of women with this problem, it is more an issue of many women denying who and what they are, due to their cultural indoctrination and the falsehoods they have been told about their imagined oppression.

Q4All: Do the societal pressures on women to choose financial success over contentment/happiness make women less happier?

If someone chooses financial success over happiness, they are going to be less happy by definition. Money cannot buy happiness if you are otherwise miserable. If a woman succumbs to that pressure, to prioritise her career and financial success, when this is not the type of lifestyle that she wants, then she is going to be less happy.

Research shows that only around 20% of women across the Western world want that type of lifestyle. They will be fine. It’s the other 80% of women who prefer not to prioritise their careers who may experience unhappiness if they feel undue pressure to pursue or do pursue that lifestyle. Fortunately for them, security and financial stability can be achieved without a career because men are not hypergamous, so have no issue dating or marrying women of lower socioeconomic status.

Q4All: Does the lack of pressure on male commitment to women ultimately make women less happier?

Yes it does because most women want commitment from a man, so if there is less pressure on men to commit, fewer will. This also probably even applies to most of the 20% of women who prioritise their careers.

DaphneDK42 · 2018-03-02T07:35:40+00:00

I often wonder if men ever realize the stark choices that some women face.

Yes. Men are quite keenly aware of the reality and nature of female reproductive biology and the short window in which it can occur. They certainly don't find 16yo school girls attractive because of their great wit and amazing conversational abilities.

Q4All: Does the lack of pressure on male commitment to women ultimately make women less happier?

There recently were a whole bunch of articles in one of the more left-leaning / feminist newspapers, about how men also had a biological clock, reduced fertility with age, etc. All with a nice schadenfreude touch to it. And equally wishfully. And other women want their 2.3 years back. Certainly, some women find it deeply unfair that men do not have the same issues to do declining fertility and youth that women do. But you'll always lose if you try to out-man men. Yet, for some reason women have been collectively been convinced that working long dreary hours, in meaningless jobs, in soul less corporations were what they should strive for.

carefreevermillion · 2018-03-03T18:05:57+00:00

Stop asking why women want to be career women, and ask why anyone wants to work in a career. People don't want to work 60+ hours a week flat out except a rare few, and a lot of women in that position specifically figure that out around 30 when they want to have kids and say "screw it" because their husband usually makes equal or more money. If they haven't snagged a husband, women tend to date across and up so they're seriously going to struggle to find a mate who makes more.

Feiebee · 2018-03-04T16:24:19+00:00

Men have to make exactly the same decisions, a vagina is not a victim card, so quit swiping them around...

Title	Dilemma of a career woman
Author	Mr_Smoogs
Upvotes	13
Comments	178
Date	March 1, 2018 9:33 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/818yhy/dilemma_of_a_career_woman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dilemma-of-a-career-woman.263417 https://theredarchive.com/post/263417

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