Q4Women: Is there some way a guy can approach you without being considered a creep?

TheChemist158 · 2017-06-02T18:48:20+00:00

First of all, don't hit on customers. That was the guy's problem in the thread you linked. Just don't do it. Save it for non professional settings.

Secondly, I can really see both sides here. Men are expected to approach, and it's between putting yourself out there and living a life without female attention. So we really shouldn't be knocking a guy just for trying. Provided of course he isn't doing anything glaringly wrong like hitting on customers. However, most people hate to be bothered by strangers. Myself included. I don't like talking to people and if toy start talking to me my goal is to get you to shut up and leave as soon as I can. But it's not fair for me to take on my frustrations onna guy who is just hoping for some female companionship. It's okay to reject a guy but don't be a bitch unless he is actually being inappropriate.

Now, onto the actual question. How to approach a woman without being creepy. As I said, best not to do it in a professional setting. It won't always go wrong but it can go very wrong. Don't do it if the woman is obviously taken (kids, wedding ring, with her SO). Don't do it if she is clearly busy (changing a tire, on her phone, working on her computer). Don't push it. If she turns you down, leave ber alone. And don't be crass. No 'hey girl, want some fuck'.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2017-06-02T20:10:26+00:00

there is no way to make approaching risk-free and safe, woman are completely mentally ill now and its a risk you take when approaching strange women, thats it

STOP ASKING WOMEN they are not going to tell you the truth, have MEN tell you how to pick up women and stop caring what women think and say

i promise you players and cunthounds dont give a flying fuck about the "Feelings" of their targets

[deleted] · 2017-06-02T18:09:26+00:00

I'm almost 30 and I can think of maybe two approaches in my entire life that were "creepy."

Pretty much just follow the normal social cues you would follow in any other situation, and if rejected take it in stride and don't flip out or try to change her mind, and you're not creepy in my book.

RockinSocksII · 2017-06-02T19:08:09+00:00

Come up and talk about common interests, i.e. that book I'm reading or the band on the shirt I'm wearing.
If I don't reciprocate conversation, I'm not interested in talking. Staying around after that point makes you creepy regardless of gender

ClarityofDisaster · 2017-06-02T19:57:44+00:00

Um? The majority of men aren't creepy when they approach, it's like maybe 5% I've had to deal with who raise red flags.

SeemedGood · 2017-06-03T07:55:10+00:00

Be handsome AF and manly. Don't be alone (if alone have puppy). Have something about your dress that signals subtle individual style. Don't overdress or underdress (better over if you err). Move slowly and deliberately. Speak rarely but authoritatively in your social group, if with puppy, be praise-training it. Make eye contact and give slightly sly grin - don't smile. She'll approach you.

AloysiusC · 2017-06-03T21:25:40+00:00

Be attractive.

That is by far the most defining trait that will determine if women find you "creepy" and what kind of behavior will be tolerated or expected from you.

Littleknownfacts · 2017-06-02T18:14:27+00:00

Context is huge. Not while you are working, not while she is working.

Pick up places are best, bars, clubs, parties. Girls are expecting to be hit on, so the context is in your favor.

From there, everything else is kinda a roll of the dice... It's a numbers game, so don't be afraid to come off as creepy. Approach as many women as you can. Flirt with everyone, women, men, little old ladies the grocery store.

Edit: Who the fuck is chasing me around and downvoting me? Come out and face me like a man!

SmurfESmurferson · 2017-06-02T18:10:30+00:00

Be fun, be confident, and - dear god - read her fucking IOIs before making a pass.

[deleted] · 2017-06-02T19:08:49+00:00

The only times I've been creeped out were when I felt like there would be negative repercussions if I said no thanks.

miss-xaviette · 2017-06-03T01:08:45+00:00

If I'm in a social non threatening place like the pub or the smoking area of a club, especially of I've got mates with me. If he seems friendly I'll chat to him and suss out of I like him or not. I only find it creepy if a guy tries to isolate me from my friends, doesn't take no for an answer or starts getting touchy feely way too soon.

On the other hand I find it not creepy per say, but just uncomfortable, if I'm just trying do do my shopping or eat my sandwiches. I don't want to be chatted up when I nipped out for loo roll..

alcockell · 2017-06-02T18:22:33+00:00

Keep your romantic approaches limited to appropriate venues like bars, festivals, clubs, concerts, and dating sites/apps. Be capable of reading body language, don't approach unless I've already sent IoIs. Back off when I show I'm not interested.

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Lyanina · 2017-06-02T18:32:44+00:00

Sure. Most times I've been approached it wasn't creepy.

Rainbow_Purple_Pony · 2017-06-02T22:39:02+00:00

Check for cues of interest and ask yourself if she's interested would be a good place to start.

Creepy mainly happen when a guy ignores non interest from a woman

wholesomedude · 2017-06-03T05:28:42+00:00

That particular guy should have had his wits about him. I agree with what catless said that one should focus on results, not being considered as a creep. But you shouldn't approach if you have something tangible to lose. I'm sure that guy had heard stories before about guys losing their jobs over this very thing, and yet he did the same thing they did anyway. I don't wanna say it's his fault he got fired, but in a way it is. Poor risk management.

[deleted] · 2017-06-05T17:03:21+00:00

The most important thing is to never ask women for dating advice. Ask men that are successful with women.

The second thing is, guys place entirely too much pressure on themselves, and take it personally when she says no.

I'm a strong 5 at best, but "Hey, how's it going?" has never not gotten me at least a conversation. Setting is irrelevant. Stores, bars, it doesn't matter. People aren't inherently shitty to other people. No dumb canned lines, or grand gestures you saw in a Rom-Com. It's just talking.

The most canned thing I ever did was ask a girl to help me pick a cantaloupe at a store. Girls love to help when they can. I didn't tell her I'd worked in produce depts during and right after high school, and probably knew better than her. But, I got a conversation out of it, and she felt good helping. It's an innocent approach with no motives. If it leads to getting her number, great. If not, I don't take it personally.

And nobody cares what you're doing. People are entirely too self-involved to care that you're chatting up some girl at Starbucks. Just don't "ask out" strangers. That's creepy. Slow down. Chat for a minute and get their number. Get to know her. Then ask her out.

Talking to girls is no different than sales. Except you're selling yourself, and first impressions are everything. No sales guy is going to stomp off in a huff because she has a boyfriend. They continue building rapport. "Where'd you guys meet?" "How long have you been together?" Hot girls have hot friends. If you make a good impression, she might introduce you. And so what if she says no? There's any number of reasons besides no having enough muscles or being ugly. Maybe she has to meet someone? Maybe she's just in a bad mood. Tomorrow it might have been different. Just move on.

It's just a girl. And she probably has way more insecurities than you. Stop pressuring yourself.

slavicgypsygirl · 2017-06-06T03:09:36+00:00

Without expectation or physically following me around.

rys_znaki · 2017-06-12T16:43:07+00:00

Don't be romantic or sexual about it, get to know me as you would a buddy first. Don't treat me "like a woman", just come up and talk about whatever activity we're doing.

thisisjust4okcupid · 2017-06-03T10:10:30+00:00

I'm 31 and when I was younger it was the guys who just went straight to the point had the best luck with me. I admire the confidence to just go for it, that whole does he like me, doesn't he got old real fast and it always ended poorly.

Title	Q4Women: Is there some way a guy can approach you without being considered a creep?
Author	SlashCo80
Upvotes	6
Comments	128
Date	June 2, 2017 6:07 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/6ew2oq/q4women_is_there_some_way_a_guy_can_approach_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4women-is-there-some-way-a-guy-can-approach-you.267772 https://theredarchive.com/post/267772

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