Men and women have completely different ideas about what constitutes a good conversation

nocrustpizza · 2016-12-24T03:07:32+00:00

Women legit don't give a shit if throughout the conversation, you find out that you have the same hobbies and have the same worldview, it's all about how you make her feel. The key to triggering her feels is intensity and varying between highs and lows, not being afraid to make her feel bad as well as amazing. Emotional roller coasters are real. It's what drives women into your arms. Men should stop digging for similarities and talking to her like a friend and start teasing her more, even straight up insulting her, followed by moments of intense, sincere compliments and genuine desire.

there's no auto-mod right now but, it seems to say more about a guy if he can't manage a fruitful conversation based on hobbies, and has to resort to this "tactic", and/or can't manage to get the interest of anyone who doesn't get off on drama like this. if this is who you all surround yourself with... good grief (and you're right; i doubt most women will think of this as a good conversation even though you do).

yes, it's important to consider how a conversation might make the other participant feel; that's basic communication and decency. but the rest of the OP is utter nonsense. just reading about this kind of conversation and imagining it is a turn-off; blech. (general) you can fuck right off if you're going to insult me.

absurdlivingghost · 2016-12-24T04:19:52+00:00

I'm the most logical thinker out there so my apologies if I broke this down too mechanically

This is an excellent prescription to get yourself a xSFx woman. Since most women are xSFx, you'll do great.

xNTx women will run from you like your hair is on fire and your ass is catching.

GavinSkulldrinker · 2016-12-24T03:45:38+00:00

Men should stop digging for similarities and talking to her like a friend and start teasing her more, even straight up insulting her, followed by moments of intense, sincere compliments and genuine desire.

All this is going to do is make you look like a total social weirdo... no, you don't want to talk shop with someone you're hoping to bang but you shouldn't swing wildly from compliments to insults either. Don't do anything that you'd describe as 'intense' on a first date... trust me 9 times out of 10 it'll creep her out. Negging is also a mainstream thing now, dead giveaway that you read PUA shit. just pepper your otherwise constructive conversation with some lighthearted teasing and innuendo.

Candy_Kittens · 2016-12-24T03:46:23+00:00

I would rather an emotionally close conversation than just dryly ticking off any similarities.

jackandjill22 · 2016-12-24T03:03:45+00:00

Well if you're talking to women to get in their pants, yeah of course. Like you gotta make women feel like they are women and you need to create sexual tension.

She has to feel like a woman when you are talking to her. Women "estrogen" or "female" out wit their cutey feminine energy and you need to bring it out. Don't talk to her like a dude if you wanna get with her.

Talking about your political views and shit like that will make her dryer than Clay County.

AnUndecidedPill · 2016-12-24T04:21:00+00:00

I feel like this is what really separates introverts from extroverts, a lot of guys who struggle to attract women are introverts.

goatismycopilot · 2016-12-24T14:11:57+00:00

If somebody insults me I lose interest pretty quickly.

wuboo · 2016-12-24T16:58:47+00:00

Emotional roller coasters are real. It's what drives women into your arms. Men should stop digging for similarities and talking to her like a friend and start teasing her more, even straight up insulting her, followed by moments of intense, sincere compliments and genuine desire. Repeat over and over again and even though nothing of substance was said, the conversation went significantly better for her.

Lol, so flirting. Got it. Just to let you know, it's possible to both flirt and have a conversation with substance.

shogunofsarcasm · 2016-12-24T03:55:02+00:00

Negging is a shitty technique.

I also don't think you are correct but you are leaning the right way a little. Women often like having things in common with a guy. Not every single thing, but enough that conversation is easy. However, no one likes a boring conversation. Too much detail too quick can be very boring. Too much info about something she isn't in to can be boring as well. You do need to drum up some emotions in a conversation. Excitement or even a bit of well placed but mild anger at a topic can do wonders. Conversations with no substance don't do well a lot of the time.

You may get an ONS, but that is probably because they think you are too dull for anything else

dakru · 2016-12-24T03:10:04+00:00

OP: Make a small edit to your post (add a period or something at the end) so that the AutoMod reply shows up.

anitapk · 2016-12-24T10:47:32+00:00

I don't want an encyclopedia on the hobbies I like but I don't want a five year old either. There needs to be a time to talk about stuff and time to tease/flirt

peacockpartypants · 2016-12-24T21:34:48+00:00

Women legit don't give a shit if throughout the conversation, you find out that you have the same hobbies and have the same worldview,

Actually I think this is extremely important.

it's all about how you make her feel.

To an extent. If we don't have anything in common, I don't want to waste my time.

Men should stop digging for similarities and talking to her like a friend and start teasing her more, even straight up insulting her, followed by moments of intense, sincere compliments and genuine desire.

If I notice someone is being intentionally hurtful, you're an asshole. If you try to "play it off like a joke", you're even worse. If someone apologizes and stops being an asshole when called out on shitty behavior, I might proceed with caution, but people who habitually act like that are abusive and should be avoided entirely.

dakru · 2016-12-24T03:00:05+00:00

I'm labeling this as a CMV.

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whiskeyrose11 · 2016-12-25T10:09:43+00:00

I get where you're coming from with this, because I'll remember a guy if he makes me laugh or says something that catches my interest.

If he insults me in a way that isn't funny though, then he's dead to me.

despisedlove2 · 2016-12-25T10:12:58+00:00

First of all, approaching a woman under hopes that you will get into her pants is a stupid idea.

Just talk to her. If she doesn't irritate or alarm you, keep talking. If she shows interest subsequent to the conversation that she wants to take this further, do a cost benefit analysis and proceed only if the perceived benefit outweighs the natural risks involved.

At a date, you are paying for her company. Nothing more. Paying for substandard goods or services is just dumb. Most non cock carousel women you will run into will either have weird personality issues, or be mentally blank or just be out to score a free meal. Don't hold it against her. That is what most women in this day and age amount to.

FairlyNaive · 2016-12-24T17:53:34+00:00

So pull-push?

[deleted] · 2016-12-24T23:12:48+00:00

[permanently deleted]

[deleted] · 2016-12-24T23:04:11+00:00

This is GOLDEN advice. Its very true indeed.

nocrustpizza · 2016-12-25T07:29:31+00:00

does this have to involve negging for the lows? because I naturally try to find the uplifting and good in people, females. anyone

I mean is there a way to find what in common and make it interesting conversation?

midnightvulpine · 2016-12-25T19:04:25+00:00

I don't care what a lot of other men talk about most of the time. Let alone women I don't know. Strangers are inherently boring. What matters more, I think, than all the games you might try to play to sound interesting is to provide discussion that feels normal, rather than artificial. That is simply talking rather than you obviously trying to throw game.

All the tricks in the world won't do a lot of good if you sound fake.

Mentathiel · 2016-12-25T21:07:06+00:00

Men should stop digging for similarities and talking to her like a friend and start teasing her more, even straight up insulting her, followed by moments of intense, sincere compliments and genuine desire.

Not really literally, no, but you were getting at it.

You should cause emotions, yeah, almost certainly. But you don't have to aim at validation and insecurities. Yes, it will still get you attention, but it will also label you as weird, strange and potentially dangerous (because what we don't understand is potentially dangerous and your behavior isn't usual social behavior).

You essentially need to do what you've said, but don't specifically use validation and insecurities. Try turning conversation personal (not interests, emotions, such as asking about family, dreams etc), teasing is also very good, but not in the insulting kind of sense, more like implying what she doesn't want to admit or sexual innuendos or otherwise surprising comments, which aren't far enough over the line to make you look inept.

Moreover, you present this as some sort of ridiculous standard, but I don't know what you find interesting in:

"I like doing X."

"Wow, so do I. X is great!"

"Yeah, so, what kinda music do you listen to?"

"Y."

"Wow, me too!"

It's not like having same tastes tells you anything substantial about whether or not you'll click if you don't discuss reasons you have those tastes. And many of us don't really understand why exactly do we like many things, so those discussions aren't always meaningful. Now, understanding the desires that drive me to like something and showing your understanding through being able to excite me, twist my view of them, telling me something new that you've determined I'll take interest in based on the rest of the conversation - now that's both showing impressive social skill, understanding of my personality, wide area of knowledge and interest etc.

So, I essentially agree, I just think you've taken it a bit too far by trying to simplify it.

EchoZeroEleven · 2016-12-25T22:03:48+00:00

I had this problem too.

Leave that stuff for later when you're getting to know her. First couple dates, just focus on fun and a good time. Give her a reason to say yes to a second date.

You're not trying to marry her, just have a fun date.

Loreing · 2016-12-26T03:32:30+00:00

Did you ever see the movie "40 Year Old Virgin"? There's a part when Steve Carell's character first talks to Elizabeth Banks's character. He walks away thinking "That totally worked and I said absolutely nothing!".

That's pretty much a summary of every successful interaction (that resulted in sex or dating) I've had with a woman.

It's one of the reasons why I have difficulty taking women seriously in all environments.

wombatinaburrow · 2016-12-26T12:07:20+00:00

A guy teasing me makes me feel like he's a little shit annoying brother type. I would rather eat toenail clippings than spend time with a dude who thought he was being funny by running me down.

Title	Men and women have completely different ideas about what constitutes a good conversation
Author	Loreing
Upvotes	25
Comments	123
Date	December 24, 2016 2:58 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5k101r/men_and_women_have_completely_different_ideas/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-and-women-have-completely-different-ideas.271051 https://theredarchive.com/post/271051

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