Q4ALL: How did you find out about the manosphere and pill stuff.

andrewisgood · 2016-11-14T02:12:06+00:00

An article on bad dates I was looking into, like, reading about really bad dates and finding an xojane article on this woman who dated someone who talked about the red pill on the date, her googling it and at the end of the night, him being a little forceful in trying to get him in the car with her. Then, it turns out that shit is real.

At first I couldn't believe it, but hell, in 2016 people elected the guy I thought was the joke candidate, so I just now assume people are fucked, especially in the States.

MisgenderedCactus · 2016-11-14T09:56:10+00:00

Geez...I'm trying to remember why I first looked up the manosphere. It was in 2011. I saw a bumper sticker that said "Angry Harry", so I looked it up when I got home. Thought the guy was kooky, but made some good points otherwise. Followed some of his links and eventually came across Antimisandry.com, where I commented for almost 2 years.

I also began looking into the concept of Men's Rights, and tried to help a (failed) Kickstarter for a male DV shelter. The comments that were leveled at me by my feminist classmates when I tried promoting the need for this establishment was incredibly hateful. Some of them were concerned that helping men would take resources from women's shelters, others went so far as to say that men don't need shelters because they are always the perpetrators. I got turned away from Feminism because of feminists...how ironic is that?

Ran a blog focusing mostly on MGTOW and sexism against men from 2013-2015. Joined a few other MGTOW friendly blogs as well.

Now I'm here for a while, taking a break from the AWALT stuff before getting back in. It's nice to hear from other Purples/egalitarians, as the majority of men and women I speak to online are RP and I disagree with them on quite a few topics.

KrispyMcSockington · 2016-11-14T03:02:18+00:00

At university, many moons ago, I discovered ladder theory online. Read it for a bit and it made sense. I changed my attitude, lost some weight and had a few relationships, but was still struggling to get something long term and serious going.

I was on the internets reading about how female rapists were getting off easier (hehe) than their male counterparts and about other gender issues, a few years ago. I had already lost my feminist-leaning opinions and had taken pussy off the pedestal then read something from a woman who calls herself JudgyBitch about regrettinh sex not being rape.

That lead me to some MRA sites and then Reddit. Found myself agreeing with a lot of their concerns regarding double standards and hypocrisy, such as why prostate cancer research gets less funding than breast cancer research or why cutting a baby girl's genitals is seen as heinous but it is okay to do so to boys. The portrayal of MRAs in the media (saw this on Parks and Recreation, a show I really enjoyed) was that they were not necessary and men had no issues.

I read some stuff on TRP and saw a difference between their goals and the MRA's. It changed my view on how I saw men dealing with a world that doesn't want them unless they perform for it. I still don't know if it is an unfair expectation or just an unwritten contract men must fulfill. But those single, unmarried, unemployed guys living in their parent's basement are not exactly fighting off hordes of eligible women.

InformalCriticism · 2016-11-14T11:00:36+00:00

Friend of mine would send me direct links to TRP after I got married. I never paid it any mind because my marriage was good enough for me; never saw any problems. Looking back, I see all the red flags he could have saved me from if only I gave it the time of day.

[deleted] · 2016-11-14T11:10:38+00:00

I was unhappy in 2007 - my whole teen and young adult years I had felt lost in shyness, bad friendships, confusing relationships. I made a resolution in 2008 to get out there and start improving. I read Leil Lowndes, Antony Robbins style self help books, starting meeting friends from the internet to go out to bars and socialise more, called up old college friends from facebook and hung out with them more. From the bar drinkers and confident friends I was chatting to, I kept hearing PUA stuff here and there, and that led me to "men's" internet communities.

The big breakthrough for me was going to my sister's wedding weekend with a copy of "the game" and reading it in my hotel room in between socialising - I spent the whole weekend laughing and joking, flirting and dancing with my sister's friends - when before I would have been in the corner with a gameboy.

And I knew I'd made it when I walked into a night club later that year, bumped into a random woman, and started dancing with her and ended up kissing her without saying a word. A year before I would have been scared to enter that place.

I'm not saying I had magic or anything - I was still turned down by 90% of women I went for and I still had tough relationships. But in terms of fun and feeling good I was on fire that year.

And ironically, despite the perceived misogyny of the PUA scene and mano-sphere, I never had as many friendships with women or just plain fun, good times and hanging out with women as I did after that. I was much more paranoid and negative about women before and much more angry and entitled about being turned down too.

Before I had seen women as basically in power and playing games, but Strauss etc helped me see what women are worrying about in flirting/dating and why you should just move on without hard feelings. I'm not defending his whole shtick - I know "overcoming last minute resistance", "dread game" etc are vile. It just seems sad that I got so much positivity and such better friendships with women out of such a hated scene.

Sepean · 2016-11-14T08:48:47+00:00

In a online discussion about VR porn, someone mentioned something like "the guys a /r/theredpill have been saying for years that it will make women obsolete." I followed the link and expected it to be a Matrix-inspired tech subreddit.

I read some stuff, and suddenly everything clicked - why I had plenty of girls in my younger years and why I now had a dead bedroom (mainly I listened to and respected what my wife said). I began reading and implementing and dropped all the dumb blue pill stuff I had been doing and 6 months later my wife had become my little sexkitten.

Princeso_Bubblegum · 2016-11-14T01:34:06+00:00

I like to make fun of TERFs on /r/gendercynical, and I found blue-pill from a link on there.

I think I stumbled across red pill crap a few other times when searching around, but I never took it with any seriousness, just came off as another circlejerk sub.

So pretty much I would have never even acknowledged red pill as a legit thing unless I found blue pill.

alreadyredschool · 2016-11-14T01:52:11+00:00

Random button on reddit.

[deleted] · 2016-11-14T03:14:39+00:00

OMG LE THEREDPILL IS LEAKING

and here i am

exit_sandman · 2016-11-14T13:14:26+00:00

I read a clickbait-article from a woman around 30 who complained that all the guys she dated (or rather: tried to date) were so awfully noncommittal; but instead of thinking "hey, maybe I suck too much to be datable" (how the saying goes: if you meet one asshole, he's just an asshole. If you meet assholes all day, you're the asshole) she heaped all the blame for her romantic failings on men as a whole. Kinda like Valentina Valentini in her crappy L.A. Times-article.

In the comment section, someone linked the article from Bettina Arndt in the SMH "Why women lose the dating game", which was actually quite refreshing to read. In that article, Arndt mentioned the manosphere, which caught my interest (had I read that article 10 years earlier, I would have thought "what a bunch of assholes" instead and bleached by brain for reading about them). Well, here I am.

bala-key · 2016-11-14T13:29:42+00:00

Somebody mentioned 'red pill' on /r/deadbedrooms

I got interested and looked it up.

/r/marriedredpill saved my marriage.

Skratt · 2016-11-14T02:49:37+00:00

I was looking at an AskReddit thread about 'What is your least favorite subreddit' or something like that, and it came up. Something about the comment caught my eye. It were saying something like 'They hate women!' and I thought, 'Hm! A place that outright hates on women? I wonder what kind of stuff they're talking about!' thinking they're talking about the typical girls are dramatic, girls are overemotional type of stuff.

Turns out the sub changed my overall way of thinking, and not in a bad way. It was just intriguing and eye opening, and the fact that the sub has the balls to not sugar coat anything was interesting to me.

DucksCanDance · 2016-11-14T03:09:47+00:00

Someone referenced it on one of the main subreddits like it was the devil

I looked for myself, it seemed like common sense, except written in an over the top way

This was a couple years after I learned all the same material from friends, they presented it in a very blue pill fashion that would likely be acceptable to most people

[deleted] · 2016-11-14T05:02:33+00:00

I read Neil Strauss' "The Game", and started Googling terms. I found an internet ecosystem. Oddly, it was some post on Dave Futrelle's site which made me have check Reddit. Oddly sticky thoughts in TRP. Reddit has more than I dreamed too.

firstpitchthrow · 2016-11-14T06:31:40+00:00

I was getting incredibly frustrated and spent one evening googling to try to find answers. I stumbled on the radicalizing the romanceless from the slate star codex, and it was the only thing that ever made sense. It seemed to offer real answers and insight. I found the RP subred shortly thereafter, and things finally made sense.

[deleted] · 2016-11-14T12:10:53+00:00

Was once told I was RP as fuck.

Looked it up and had a read.

mrcs84usn · 2016-11-14T13:18:23+00:00

I was really into men's rights for a while, which lead me to websites like The-Spearhead (defunct), and Dalrock. Then I started skimming through their blog rolls and finding various sites.

I spent A LOT of time on Return of Kings during it's earlier days, but as more people started writing for them, the quality started going to shit.

[deleted] · 2016-11-14T15:21:47+00:00

My girlfriend of 2+ years started being bad with me, no sex for a while, attempts to have a break and then eventually break up, then wanting to travel to try to talk about us but looks like she just wanted someone to split expenses with. Did have sex with me after seeing with another girl though (yeah that works). Ignoring me, ghosting me - all that stuff.

Well I didn't know wtf was I supposed to do, felt down and started googling something like why she acts like that (thought maybe it's a thing here, I grew somewhere else myself). Well, then Facebook started offering me some interesting links, the google cards on my phone started doing the same and eventually they did show me one of the threads on trp. And it all made sense.

littleeggwyf · 2016-11-14T16:18:07+00:00

My husband suggested I'd like the discussion over at RPW, he'd been looking at TRP stuff to try and understand their ideas and thought I'd enjoy discussion with other women who didn't agree with feminism, after i'd watched a few Lauren Southern videos and similar and we'd chatted about them.

[deleted] · 2016-11-14T16:37:08+00:00

I had already rejected feminism as a concept that did not represent me or my ideals, and wanted to find other women who felt the same way I did. Surely I couldn't be the only one, right?

I started bumbling around Reddit and found TRP first, and then did some digging around in there to find a female counterpart. It's been a little over a year since I started the search, and being a part of /r/redpillwives has had a significantly positive impact on my relationship and my life overall.

[deleted] · 2016-11-14T17:03:11+00:00

I was at work reading a political website that was discussing "beta men" and had a link to an article by Kay Hymowitz. That article linked to Roissy (now Heartiste). I spent some time reading and following links.

Like u/sepean, I had an epiphany moment where everything in my dating and married life made sense. I finally understood why some girls liked me and most didn't; why my relationships kept failing, and why I was now in a near dead bedroom marriage to a woman who didn't respect me or even seem to care about me.

That article's got it all:

--slutty entitled manipulative gold digging women.

--women's adherence to gender norms in sex and dating ("I am woman, hear me roar; but when it comes to dating, I am the shrinking violet widdle gurl and you have to be the big stwong man who pays for me and takes me out and does all the asking and all the work and bears all the risk and all I have to do is show up and be pretty; I don't have to offer anything except my awesomely awesome awesomeness and my presence and you should be fortunate I even deign to breathe the same air as you")

--women's stated preference for nice guys and actual preference for bad boys, douchecanoes, and musclebound assholes

[deleted] · 2016-11-14T17:07:09+00:00

i never successfully dated. I was taught to be a gentlemen and was raised with feminist mindset, i still am. I was curious why most woman i know, i'd say 99%, only dated guys who acted like assholes and there personality was loud confident arrogance, wealth and good looks. searched the internet for years till i found the redpill to answer why woman say one thing and do something else. I'm just tired of people being shallow, vapid, apathetic lairs, i really wanted some answers in my life, where all the girls who believe in equality, loving, kind, hard working, artsy, empathetic and just positives traits. i know bluepill believes opposite reality but in my community most woman don't mind sharing an high status man. or they are just unaware how there man acts when hes not around, and i have to admit i'm disgusted by men's behavior as much a woman. end bitter rant.

tallwheel · 2016-11-15T06:37:38+00:00

After a shitty relationship, I googled "borderline girlfriend" and shrink4men.com came up. Through her website I found avoiceformen, the MRM, and eventually MGTOW, and much later TRP.

NalkaNalka · 2016-11-14T01:57:28+00:00

Gosh it's hard to remember at this point. I started out on the old alt sedfast newsgroup back in 2003-2004 or thereabouts. Then came roissy, the spearhead, inmalafide etc. The influx of noobs after The Game came out.

I think that my first contact was with the old NLP kook Ross Jeffries.

It's been an interesting ride that is for sure.

[deleted] · 2016-11-14T02:30:40+00:00

Read ER's "manifesto", piqued my interest.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2016-11-14T04:01:30+00:00

Random subreddit button brought me to trp

Candy_Kittens · 2016-11-14T04:12:35+00:00

From this subreddit.

DerEwigeKatzendame · 2016-11-14T05:38:27+00:00

Someone at a big Jesus conference was in woe about the state of the world, "The Game" being the pinnacle of everything wrong about the dating sphere.

Thought it was gross then, makes me feel stabby now. Which is unfortunate, an amount of the advice could be considered decent advice in dealing with people in general, but they word it in the edgiest fucking way. Who hurt you?

Entropy-7 · 2016-11-14T07:02:42+00:00

I was a member of a conservative political forum in Canada and someone mentioned ROK. I checked it out and hung out there for a bit until someone mentioned TRP, so now here I am.

I was in my late 40s before I stumbled across this place. The thing is, a lot of what passes for "Red pill truth" is just things I have concluded myself after 30 years of dealing with women.

So you have some teenage wannabees and incels who join TRP out of frustration, but that is not me.

I did not "swallow the red pill"; it was more like I was on an IV drip for the past few decades punctuated by a few punches to the face to wake me the fuck up.

[deleted] · 2016-11-14T07:22:47+00:00

I found out about it from browsing Reddit.

It was just a ''word of mouth'' kind of thing, as someone posted a link to r/theredpill.

Having said that, I have been aware of PUA since the early 2000's.

bones_and_love · 2016-11-14T07:55:09+00:00

I made a post and someone said I was "red pill" as an insult in the AMA subreddit. I had said something about how I thought it was weird that Reddit users obsess over porn stars and give them so much celebrity for doing something that's not very cultural and not very great. They're just banging on camera for money. I still don't get the AMA obsession with porn stars or why some people want to ask them questions so badly.

I googled it and read bunches of it. It's hilarious. I removed it, though, because it was just so much of the same old same old.

Posting narrow statistical studies followed by fantastic theories to explain them.
Posts about how men are gold and women are tin.
Field reports that border on fan fiction or obvious trolling. Somehow, it still gets mass votes. I held frame and then fucked the cocktail waitress as her boyfriend was calling.
Stories of men getting abused by their girlfriends or wives followed by angry chants and shit.
Self-help motivationals or how-tos. Honestly, JUST DO IT as Labeouf would say. And stop relying on a bunch of strangers on the internet to motivate you or inform you if it's something so raw and factual. Buy a fucking book, get professional advice, etc. You don't need TRP to weightlift. You need your own dedication and time to research it and then do it.
The "I just found TRP" post that involves an admission of being pathetic, how eye-opening TRP is, and the small 1-inch victory he had with some chick he texts endlessly and stopped annoying or with deciding to weightlift or some other mundane shit. He goes on about how alpha he wants to be. He's still a virgin with zero social skill by this point though - a huge eye roll and cringe to read through due to the paradoxical combination of still being pathetic socially yet being so sure he's figured it all out.
Seduction advice [as in stuff you'd find in /r/seduction and has nothing to do with TRP].

ThrowawayCactus6012 · 2016-11-14T12:40:38+00:00

I actually found it somewhat indirectly last year. One poster on the IMDb had a link in his signature to a site for Western men to find women overseas. I think it was called "Happier Abroad." Just out of curiosity, I wanted to see what it was about, so I looked at their message board and saw a wide range of opinions regarding Western women and why so many Western men were turning away from them. But there were other posters in those forums saying it was a waste of time to even go after foreign women, and they had links to various "manosphere" sites.

To me, I thought they had a reasonable case, since there have been plenty of women behaving badly and leaving tremendous amounts of emotional wreckage in their wake. I could sense this just from the level of anger I found in these forums, much of which seemed very genuine and justifiable. I never bought into the idea that "all" women were like that, but there were enough of them out there to notice recurring patterns and trends.

Mentathiel · 2016-11-14T15:22:36+00:00

I don't remember specifically, but I think I went from anti-fem community on YT to being curious about MGTOW things (TL;DR or Psychological Cynic mentioned it, perhaps, not sure) and eventually somebody mentioned that there are different stages of MGTOW (the thing with trying not to contribute in tax money because it goes to gynocentric goals being the top tier), so I read up on that and ended up being curious about the whole thing and found TRP pretty easily from there. I mainly hang in RPW now, sometimes here, recently more because I'm sick.

GridReXX · 2016-11-14T17:40:07+00:00

Either AskReddit or AskWomen or CMV

sunkindonut149 · 2016-11-14T20:15:06+00:00

I read "The Game" when it first came out, to improve my social skills. I thought it was pretty lulzworthy.

Then a few years ago, dudes that I knew in college and high school started railing against feminists and I loled. I heard words like cuck and saw that the online "seduction" forums have changed, a lot.

cxj · 2016-11-15T00:22:29+00:00

I was falsely accused of dv by my ex after I called the cops on her for attacking me. It was every bit the nightmare the MRAs make it out to be. I found the manosphere from desperate Google searches and got over invested in the community due to being socially isolated during and somewhat after my trial.

voteGOPk · 2016-11-15T04:43:29+00:00

reddit, of course. some link to theredpill,

that led me down the rabbit hole to eventually become a black piller (we don't like TRP, just for differnt reasons compared to blue pillers)

nomdplume · 2016-11-15T05:43:15+00:00

Funny enough, from a bleeding-heart liberal SJW vegan female friend of mine, lol.

She got fed up hearing me whine about my sorry state in life and told me to go read David Deida. Which I did. And then I wanted to find out more. Ta da!

sleepyheadp · 2016-11-15T16:11:14+00:00

Was a lurker on the 4chan since 2005.

Mostly saw shit posts and meme related stuff with Morpheus and the pill offering. If anything the only real stuff the pills back then represented were related to the Bush era presidency and events with the Recession in 08.

Only when more sjw stuff and more mra stuff started cropping up did the whole RP and BP take on more meaning, which I guess was around 2011.

CrustyBubblebrain · 2016-11-20T22:58:06+00:00

It was several years ago while I was googling "American tourists suck" because I was looking for a description of the "Ugly American" trope (so I could avoid embodying it myself). Google came up with several "related searches" that included "American Women Suck". Being a woman, I was intrigued...and consequently tumbled down the rabbit hole

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buartha · 2016-11-14T01:27:14+00:00

I found out about it from /r/subredditdrama, lurked for a bit, did the required reading and then jumped into the fray.

despisedlove2 · 2016-11-14T01:52:43+00:00

On a men's self help forum when I was finding it difficult to cope after my ex-wife and I separated.

Title	Q4ALL: How did you find out about the manosphere and pill stuff.
Author	SipsSparklingWater
Upvotes	10
Comments	106
Date	November 14, 2016 1:21 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5ctbup/q4all_how_did_you_find_out_about_the_manosphere/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-how-did-you-find-out-about-the-manosphere.271881 https://theredarchive.com/post/271881

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