The treatment of lonely women vs the treatment of lonely men

17b29a · 2014-10-18T21:32:51+00:00

your post is sorta confusing. you have a title called "lonely women vs lonely men," yet you proceed to talk about fat women vs lonely men, and then have a quote that talks about fat ~people~, contrasted with a quote that I can only assume is from feminists talking about something regarding male entitlement...?

sleuthoftrades · 2014-10-18T21:14:24+00:00

Women in general receive more support than men in general. Lonely women are just a subset of women, so it makes sense they would have more support than lonely men.

Added to the fact is that when something goes wrong for a woman, it is something the world is doing to her. But if something goes wrong for a man, its either something he caused or an obstacle he should be able to surmount.

Aerobus · 2014-10-18T22:44:52+00:00

Men are disposable and women are not. Women are the biological limiting agent in human reproduction, so there is a rooted fear humans have in seeing women who are not in a sound emotional state. Hence, support groups are available for women. On the other hand, men are disposable and are not the biological limiting agent. Only one woman can mother one child at a time (which takes 9 months) in her womb, while a potential father can impregnate multiple women. He is disposable by nature because he doesn't need to survive the 9 months.

TheTerrorSquad · 2014-10-18T21:14:18+00:00

Eggs are dear and sperm are cheap. That's the root of most double standards

[deleted] · 2014-10-18T22:36:27+00:00

TRP tip: Learn to find fulfillment in being the lone wolf.

It's probably rather hard, if you're generally extroverted and very social, but Jesus Christ, is it worth it. The day you realize you don't need the rest of the world to be complete is pure joy.

Of course, it's always much easier to feel complete without other people's approval, if you constantly keep improving yourself -physically and mentally-, as the confidence you gain from within is indescribably valuable.

Skratt · 2014-10-18T21:16:16+00:00

I'm lonely and I'm not getting any special treatment D:

SpaceWhiskey · 2014-10-18T21:53:59+00:00

And yet every time a lonely woman tries to join a conversation about being single and sad on Reddit she gets shot down and told she doesn't have it as bad. I don't think women experience the universal support you're implying they do.

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2014-10-19T20:10:21+00:00

There does seem to be a vast empathy gap between men and women.

Men are seen as whining (at best) or more often as making unfair demands of women (sexist pigs) when they lament the lack of companionship.

Whereas when women do it they are more often met with sympathy and men are blamed for failing to live up to their expectations.

pallomallo · 2014-10-19T07:41:52+00:00

Lonely in general get shit on for being sad from some quarters, but also encouraged from other quarters.

Somehow you are unfamiliar with the trope of the lonely cat lady who is worthy of scorn?

autowikibot · 2014-10-18T23:13:16+00:00

At the core of gynocentric thought is the "Women Are Wonderful" Effect.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E2%80%9CWomen_are_wonderful%E2%80%9D_effect

Likewise, men are seen as bad. A man who is lonely and alone is deemed as worthless by society and is shunned. To acknowledge there is a widespread problem would be to admit that there is something wrong with modern women in general. So instead, lonely men have to be villainized or turned into caricatures of unwashed fedora-wearing neckbeards.

buartha · 2014-10-19T11:09:10+00:00

Most of the support websites/ images/ blogs for single women that you mentioned are made by other women, whereas men seem less likely to provide that kind of positive reinforcement for each other, both online and offline, not because they don't care how other men are doing but because it's still somewhat taboo to do so.

From my own experience (which I appreciate is subjective, YMMV on how much it applies to your own culture/ situation,) I trust my friends with my life, but I would go to my partner for support before them every time, and did so even when my relationship was quite young. That kind of mentality means that men who don't have girlfriends/ boyfriends are stuck with no-one to talk to about the issues they're having, and that being single can affect them in different ways emotionally than it would women because they're now lacking a support structure that women can find in their friends.

So, to cut what could turn into a long rambling post short, in my opinion a lot of the problems that lonely men face are a result of the fact that it's not really seen as socially acceptable for guys to emotionally support each other in the way that women do, and the most positive step people could make towards helping said men is working to remove the stigma about guys seeking support from each other.

[deleted] · 2014-10-18T21:20:16+00:00

Because when it comes to how people view relationships, it's predominantly through the lens of traditional gender roles. That being said, I think it depends more on the reasons why the person is lonely. If a guy feels alone because he expects only to date supermodels or some shit, and yet he dresses like shit and doesn't try to look good, it is totally his fault. Same for a girl with similarly unrealistic expectations. Ultimately, nobody owes you jack shit, but you are still allowed to voice your concerns as long as they are reasonable.

give_me_shinies · 2014-10-19T02:39:58+00:00

Do fat/lonely women (since they seem to be synonymous to you) go on shooting rampages because men won't fuck them? If you have social anxiety/social phobia issues, you have as much access to a therapist as a woman in your socioeconomic station would.

It's true that men generally don't have or cultivate the types of support networks that women do, and the negative effects of this are the most apparent when men fall on hard times. I don't think that's the issue you wanted to address/discuss though. Talking about your feelings is "beta" after all, and you gotta maintain frame and be the AMOG.

myfatbrokethewall · 2014-10-19T22:10:42+00:00

Going to guess that the woman who gets support talks about how sad she feels whereas the man who gets told that no one owes him anything talks about what a nice guy he is compared to those other assholes and why don't those hot bitches fuck him already.

garybuseysawakening · 2014-10-19T00:09:24+00:00

Our society views men in unfortunate circumstances as culpable for their actions. It views women as victims of an oppressive world.

/thread

give_me_shinies · 2014-10-19T02:45:54+00:00

I love how you framed this OP. So transparent. You're not talking about lonely people here. You're talking about someone calling out bullying vs. someone calling out male sexual entitlement.

Fuck every one who says that fat people are unattractive. They are already self-conscious and self-loathing

This is the response given to people piling on fat people, who are already shat on and who already know they're fat and unattractive. Being a douche and attacking people already in a low place is not cool. At all.

NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING.

This is the response given to Elliot Rodger types. Male sexual entitlement is not cool, bro.

fizolof · 2014-10-20T12:00:55+00:00

Well, privilege always has two sides. In the 19th century a politician or businessman could be challenged to a deadly duel. So when they barred women from those positions, that was both opression and at some level protection, and when men were allowed it was both empowering but also made life tougher and more dangerous. This is the normal price of privilege and the nicer side of underprivilege, underprivilege is often safer, privilege is often like being on the top exactly like a mountain climber is on the top: alone, tired and a cold wind tearing at you.

As a man you have less limitations around you, you can do, be, and try to achieve what you want, but there is also less help and less consolation if you fail.

sh1v · 2014-10-20T12:40:21+00:00

A lot of reasons dude. People are naturally softer on women. Women form an echo chamber of telling each other they're awesome and deserving of everything and that any negative experience they have is cause of oppression. People who are brutally honest to women and explain how their weight problem is physically revolting to others at an instinctual level, tend to be shamed and ostracized, so the legit criticism has a hard time making its way through.

It's not just fat women though, fat men can be pussies too. They probably flock to those support websites as well... at least, the ones who've convinced themselves that little nagging voice of self loathing telling them to lay off the McDonalds and hit the gym, is actually societal brainwashing and oppression. Its easy to fall into a cycle of self deception where every problem you have is actually someone else's responsibility to fix, even for men.

At the same time, I won't deny that men generally get the more caustic, man-the-fuck-up, brutally honest, advice, hell even contemptuous/sneering "advice" from people who just love the chance to kick a man when he's down. Women especially tend to lash out at weak men, trying to break them down further into this little eunuch slave boy, continually apologizing for his existence and doing whatever his mistresses command. Why women do this, I have no clue, as it's clear the more concessions a man makes to these harpies, the less they like him. Check out the way male feminists get treated as a prime example.

But where was I. Oh yes. The fact that people are instinctively dislike weak, simpering, complaining, cowardly males is a good thing. No tribe could last long with many of these omegas about dragging everything and everyone down. If you're a man, face up to the fact that the world doesn't give a shit about you, master yourself and your surroundings, and conquer, or die in the attempt. If you're a woman, chill out and enjoy the free ride and free emotional support.

Ignatius_Oh_Reilly · 2014-10-21T03:57:56+00:00

People are more bluntly honest with men. No one owes anyone anything. You have to work to get what you want, more so if you're further away from what gets you what you want. Life ain't fair.

FridaysMonday · 2014-11-23T04:54:24+00:00

Because men are competitive by nature. We had to fight off the other males for mates/food/survival. We still have a bit of that in us so we dont support other males. Weak males arent good for mating so women arent attracted to them. Hence, women dont support weak men. Women on the other hand never had to be as competitive so they tend to be more supportive of other women. PLUS... Men want sex so we will support anything women say. -2 for men. +2 for women. Please forgive my colloquial speech.

RedRisingHood · 2014-10-19T11:04:36+00:00

Lonely women have much more support than lonely men, but it's not necessarily the fault of the woman. Lots of bluepillers/Betas/"Nice Guys" will try to comfort the lonely woman hoping to have sex with her. So in some ways she is the victim, of manipulative Beta-game.

Title	The treatment of lonely women vs the treatment of lonely men
Author	fizolof
Upvotes	20
Comments	199
Date	October 18, 2014 9:08 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2jmz9o/the_treatment_of_lonely_women_vs_the_treatment_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-treatment-of-lonely-women-vs-the-treatment-of.284564 https://theredarchive.com/post/284564

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